Tentacle sex.

It’s a whole thing, ain’t it? Mostly, it’s known to be a Japanese fetish thing but we like to flirt with it over here in America from time to time. If we could draft a guy to make a movie to do a little more than flirt with it, my #1 pick would be David DeCoteau. How could you not?

Welcome to a new B-Movie Enema review, and, for this third chapter of our theme month called Full Moon Fever III: For the Love of Jacqueline Lovell, we’re going to take a look at the 1999 sci-fi/horror/sexploitation flick The Killer Eye. There’s a lot to talk about here in the lead up. First of all, we’ve already looked at the sequel to this movie, Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, waaaaay back in the first Full Moon Fever in 2017. That one was directly made by the main man of Full Moon himself, Charles Band. However, that was during a time in which Band was kind of cranking out much, much lower budget films than he did before. It’s a cheap movie that just has the Killer Eye prop itself actually being a real Killer Eye and going around and zapping babes in the eyes and making them do sexy things. It’s got some qualities, but none of those are in the plot, if you know what I mean.

Most of what to talk about when it comes to this original comes directly from our director, David DeCoteau. This movie is credited to “Richard Chasen” instead of DeCoteau, and there’s kind of a funny reason to believe he went with a name like Richard Chasen. DeCoteau is a gay man. He’s made an entire career in the 2000s for making exploitation films for dudes who are into dudes. That’s great! Why not have stuff like that for the other side of the sexuality spectrum? So when you think about all that, and think that his pseudonym is basically Dick Chasen because he’s chasin’ dick it’s kind of funny.

If not a bit crude.

Anyway, DeCoteau makes a couple types of movies these days on the reg… The first is the homoerotic movies full of shirtless guys who look sort of model-worthy. These are movies that he would start making around 2011 or so, and most of them start with 1313 in the title OR just feature a lot of well-groomed young men on the cover (shirt optional, but hair products required). The other type of movie he makes these days are more all-ages. Yeah, you read that right. DeCoteau has a bunch of movies on his filmography that feature talking pets or something family and animal connected. It’s an interesting dichotomy.

That said… Let’s go back to that homoerotic stuff, shall we? Oh, don’t say you aren’t curious about some of that stuff from time to time. I got ya. I ain’t gonna judge. Anyway, I kind of look at The Killer Eye being the start of that turn for DeCoteau in his career. Shortly after this movie’s release in 1999, he began a series called The Brotherhood which Wikipedia labels as a “homoerotic horror” series. He’s made like five or six of those movies to go alongside his 1313 movies and his D.B. Cooper vs Bigfoot and what have you. This movie features a lot of the hallmarks of those movies, particularly around well-groomed young-ish, but still adult, guys who have great haircuts and often shot without their shirts on. But what to do when your shirt is off and a guy and being directed by a gay man? Well, you will do a lot of stroking of your pecs and, especially, your nipples. All that basically is seen throughout most of DeCoteau’s more recent filmography and it most noticeably started here.

Let’s get started on this movie that ties all these things I’ve been talking about: Jacqueline Lovell, David DeCoteau’s appreciation of shirtless dudes, nipple-rubbing, and tentacle sex.

Our 72-minute epic opens with a scientist working on a dark and stormy night. In walks a possibly homeless, maybe underage, male prostitute. The scientist had the dude come here for his experiment. He just wants the use of one of the kid’s eyes. The prostitute says that regardless of drops in eyes or doing butt stuff, his rates are the same.

He puts drops in the gigolo’s left eye. After the drops take effect, the scientist wants the kid to look through a device. Now, the scientist says to the kid that, if all works well, he will be the very first person to ever actually perceive and see the 8th dimension. As the drops start to do their work, Dr. Jordan Grady’s wife, Rita (our lovely Ms. Lovell), watches on. The gigolo says that he is starting to feel a warm tingle… in his thigh.

Picking up on the joke, Rita comments that the kid is cute and hopefully he won’t end up like the last one. Dr. Grady’s last test subject DID indeed have something pretty bad happen because Rita has had to use a lot of her own money to deal with her husband’s failures. Meanwhile, the tingling in the kid’s eye does start to take effect. So he decides, even without Dr. Grady there, he’s going to look through the device. When he does, it irritates his eye pretty badly. He eventually collapses and his eye grows and decides to come out of his head and hides behind some computer shit.

Does this qualify as a success? I mean, I don’t know if the kid saw the 8th dimension, but there’s a giant, alien, possibly inter-dimensional, eye creature roaming about and reading the pictures on the wall about the male and female reproductive organs. I guess that’s a success?

I know what is not a success… Dr. Grady. He is listed as Dr. Grady, but he said he hasn’t completed med school yet. That seems fishy. But he’s freeloading on his hot ass wife. She even tells him that she’s his hot wife and she would like some attention. Dude… I don’t care if she continues to pay for your science shit, I will gladly give her the attention she desires. Put me in, coach! I’m ready!

Alright, so elsewhere in the same building that “Dr.” Grady works in, we have shirtless dudes hanging out in their boxer briefs and doin’ drugs.

They’ve got a plate full of pills and what not. Rita comes in and says hello to her two favorite bachelors. She wants these guys to plug the holes in her, uh… relationship. Meanwhile, another couple are getting ready for a date night. This guy, Morton, is Grady’s assistant and he gets called upon a lot to deal with Dr. Grady shit. This frustrates Jane, Morton’s wife. After the gigolo is dead, Grady has to call in Morton for help to get rid of the body.

So you have Morton and Jordan getting rid of the body of the gigolo. Jane is frustrated that she’s all dressed up and no date has gone down yet. Then, you also have Rita getting double teamed by the two roommates, Joe and Tom. While she’s getting her pleasure from these two dude bros, the giant eye, for which we will just call Killer Eye or K.E. from this point forward, looks on. I guess Killer Eye is all sorts of instantly curious about the sex because the first thing he did when he got to Earth was read a poster about sex organs.

You know, as you do.

This scene goes on for a while. In a 72-minute movie, this scene of one of the bros railing Rita while another bro watches and rubs his chest and nipples while the Killer Eye watches both things goes on for a very long time. But it ends with Rita completely unfulfilled because the dude bros are too tired to finish the deal. Um, Ms. Lovell… Again, I am very available and ready to jump into the ring to give it a go. We could at least get as far as both of us taking off our underwear.

Morton puts two and two together to realize that the dead body was not a cadaver from the university. When Morton asks about the kid’s missing eye, Jordan doesn’t know what happened. We meet another character, and this one is kind of kooky. There’s a tweaker named Creepy Bill who hangs around. I don’t know if he squats in the building, actually lives in the building, or lives outside as a homeless guy. But Bill is played by Blake Adams. We know Blake Adams as Lance from Head of the Family. Nice to see him back this month.

So I mentioned that Jordan doesn’t know where the eye got off to. The kid had two eyes earlier. Now he only has one. Jordan doesn’t know anything about what happened. What he doesn’t realize is that the eye, now in giant proportions, is using its ocular nerve as both a tentacle and a penis to give Rita the pleasure she’s oh so in need of. She’s sleeping in between Joe and Tom in their bed (these guys have a single room for an apartment with a single bed) and Killer Eye has stretched a tentacle up under the blankets and in to her pleasure cave and she’s writhing around. When one of the guys wakes up, Killer Eye uses a beam from its, well, eye to his eyes and he’s put back to sleep. When the other guy wakes up he shouts and it startles Killer Eye off. It also wakes Rita up who has no idea with the guy is so freaked out about.

Morton tells Jordan that he’s glad he employs him as his lab assistant, but he’s not too cool with being an accessory. However, Jordan believes that they did indeed succeed in piercing the veil to the 8th dimension. He wants Morton to search the apartment building for the missing eye that must have left the kid’s body and is now currently roaming around with information about the 8th dimension. I… I think. I think that’s what Jordan is up to. Of course, he’s going to stay behind and crunch numbers and stuff while Morton risks his neck to find Killer Eye.

It just so happens that Killer Eye is in Morton’s apartment watching Jane work out on the treadmill. Killer Eye reaches out an ocular nerve tentacle to touch her foot but she doesn’t notice it. So she decides, after she’s done working out, that she needs to get in the shower. Killer Eye follows. What better place for tentacle sex than the shower? She sees Killer Eye and he zaps her to make her a little more compliant while his tentacle can feel her up.

Back at Joe and Tom’s apartment, Rita gets dressed and about to leave. Before she does, Morton comes in looking for the missing eye. When Morton points his device to find residual whatzits from the eye at Rita, it begins to beep. Clearly, whatever Killer Eye touches, it leaves behind some residue that links it back to being from the 8th dimension. I guess.

I’ll admit, I’m only here for weirdo Killer Eye sex and Jacqueline Lovell. I don’t want to try to figure out the science of a 1999 David DeCoteau movie. However, the scene in the shower with Jane (played by Nanette Bianchi in one of only two roles she ever had) ends with kind of this movie’s money shot.

You know the movie is proud of this shot because it ends with a fade to black for a few seconds. And why shouldn’t it be proud of this shot? Okay, maybe the weird tentacle sex stuff is a tad off-putting, but look at the Killer Eye! That is a glorious creature creation. The eye looks great. The goopy stuff that leads to the ocular nerve looks gross and sticky to the touch. The nerve is kind of perfect for a way to give the monster mobility. This is great!

I think it’s why this movie can, to a certain extent, survive for these past 24 years. Yeah, the movie isn’t great. It’s a vehicle for people to get naked and get fucked by a giant eyeball creature. That said, there’s some real effort put into something here. Sure, the movie mostly takes place in a single building. Yeah, the plot is so thin, you’d blow right through if you sneezed in its direction. But goddammit that eye monster is fucking gorgeous. Surely everyone involved with making that thing is proud of it. I sure hope someone still has that original prop somewhere and it’s being well taken care of.

If not fuckin’ some ladies somewhere.

Anyway, back at the bros’ place, Morton is trying to find what the readings mean while Rita tries to proposition him for some dirty, dirty sex. He gets a little bit of a reading from Rita, but gets a bunch of readings from Tom. Just then, Tom wakes up and freaks out. It causes Killer Eye to leave Jane in the shower. She comes to not realizing she just had weird tentacle sex with Full Moon’s best ever creature design ever.

Killer Eye doesn’t leave Jane’s place, though. He follows Jane to the bedroom where it does a little foreplay with her by wrapping its tentacle dick thing around her and teasing her with it. Morton walks in and finds the Killer Eye behind her. He tells her not to turn around, but she does and it zaps her and knocks her out. It then zaps Morton and maybe plans to use him to make love to Jane? So… I guess it kind of possesses people when it zaps them? Or it just wants to watch and he’s just controlling Morton? I dunno. I do know that Morton just sits on the bed rubbing his chest and belly while Killer Eye feels Jane up. Killer Eye, unfortunately, is left unfulfilled because the lamp falls over and scares him off. After he leaves, both Morton and Jane snap out of their daze.

Creepy Bill decides to talk to Jordan about the crate that Jordan and Morton hid in the attic. Bill doesn’t seem to really want to blackmail Jordan. He just wants to sort out what is going on and why that crate is so important that it wasn’t just thrown in the garbage. Jordan was willing to try to beat Bill to death with a computer keyboard if he was planning to blackmail him, but Bill is kind of stupid. In fact, when Rita comes looking for the kid because she still wants to get plowed, Bill proves his stupidity by instantly telling her the kid’s in the attic.

But it’s kind of important that she does end up finding the kid. Killer Eye has reintegrated himself into the kid’s head. So the kid is reanimated. Rita decides she’s going to get her fuckin’ one way or another. The kid keeps saying that he’s a stranger to this world and he needs to make more.

Jordan and Bill come rushing into the attic and when they turn their flashlights on and it shines in his eyes, the kid collapses. Killer Eye leaves the kid’s head again and zaps Rita. She begins to walk toward Killer Eye while she starts caressing her own body.

You know… I’ve kind of said this before, but I don’t really understand Killer Eye’s powers. He’s got an obvious phallic tentacle thing. Okay, that’s for fuckin’. He’s got the ability to read posters about the parts that do the fuckin’. He’s got laser beams that I guess are used for knocking people out. It can also make people docile? For fuckin’? And I guess it can kind of take control over their mind and make them horny zombies… sort of? He also can reanimate the dead. He also says something about needing to make more. Make more what? Fuckin’? Eyeball monsters? We are past the halfway point and all I know for sure is that Rita REALLY wants to get laid.

Jordan can only surmise that Killer Eye is obviously a creature from the 8th dimension. Jordan must have accidentally opened the gateway into this dimension instead of the other way around. Rita wants to just leave and get away from the weirdo horny hypnotic eyeball monster. Bill and Morton also agree. But Jordan makes it very clear that if the authorities come and find the dead kid, they’re all accessories. So they need to all stay here with him and help him capture his specimen.

After studying Killer Eye, Jordan learns that the creature is likely some sort of “hermaphrodite” and it can reproduce asexually. I… I don’t think those two concepts are the same thing. But it clearly wants to use females to reproduce in some way. Again… Asexual, dude. It doesn’t need to have women or men to make babies… Oh fuck it. Anyway, when bright light is shined into its eye face, Killer Eye is hurt because it has possessed the form of an eye and has the limitations of an eye. So, yeah, bright lights hurt.

While Jordan, Rita, Morton, and Bill work on a plan to deal with capturing Killer Eye, it revisits the dude bros. Killer Eye zaps Joe and when Tom comes back, all Joe can say is that he needs female to make more. Tom tells Joe that if he wants a girl, go find Rita. So, Joe goes to find Rita to make babies.

Joe instantly finds Rita, but then is told to go look after Jane while they hunt Killer Eye. So Morton gives Joe the keys to his apartment, not realizing that, duh, this dude bro is some sort of Killer Eye zombie. Joe walks into Morton and Jane’s place and finds Jane sleeping. She asks him for a glass of water and he goes off and fetches it for her, but there’s some weird sounds coming from the other room too.

Rita goes looking for the eye in Joe and Tom’s apartment. When Tom gets mad about her just coming into their apartment whenever she wants, they decide to go talk to Joe next door. Joe has returned with Jane’s water, but Killer Eye has I guess reformed itself or used Joe’s body to get into where the girls are or something…? I dunno. Joe is missing an eye, is actually dead, and the Killer Eye is on the loose again. Jane is able to use the flashlight to scare off Killer Eye. I guess Killer Eye sucked Joe’s brain out to recharge himself.

Killer Eye is super smart, though… He cut the power to the building. Jordan goes to turn the power back on in the attic and is zapped by Killer Eye who then basically takes over his body. Jordan comes back and says he’s got a plan to kill the eye. He’ll use Rita as bait and then trap the eye and they’ll blow up the building to kill the eye. Jordan takes Rita to the attic to set the trap. She confesses that she’s not been faithful and that she thinks they need to get a divorce. He kisses her and it tickles her nether bits. He appears to go down on her, but it turns out to be Killer Eye’s tentacle dick making her swoon.

Jordan confesses that the he and Killer Eye had a chat. Killer Eye wanted to get some action, and, in exchange, he’ll show Jordan how to open the portal to the 8th dimension to prove his theory. Bringing Rita to the attic was his part of the deal to let Killer Eye get his rocks off. Jordan learned that Killer Eye is the advanced scout for an invasion force. There are a bunch of Killer Eyes that are about to move in.

Dude… You just kind of revealed the monster’s big plan.

In the lab, Bill discovers something that looks an awful lot like the bomb Jordan said he was going to use to kill Killer Eye. It was just a stopwatch. The whole thing was a big ol’ ruse. They go and find that Jordan and Killer Eye are working together. Rita is saved, but Tom and Crazy Bill are killed by being zapped by Killer Eye’s brand new power – a disintegration beam. They basically trap Killer Eye in the lab with no escape and Morton tells it that it has two options – die or go back where it came from. Before returning to the 8th dimension, Jordan says he wants to go with Killer Eye. Jordan gets beamed to the other dimension and Killer Eye returns home where a bunch of other Killer Eyes are waiting for him.

However, the invasion force may not be totally defeated as the girls realize that they may have some little eyeballs of their own.

I guess it’s too bad that they live in a country that will force them to carry out those eyeball-human hybrids no matter what it might do to Earth, or your uterus, or your mental wellbeing. I guess you’re fucked!

Aw man… I kind of made it depressing with that joke, didn’t I? Well, I will say that while this movie is kind of paper thin on a lot of things, this movie is not a bad time. It’s only 72 minutes. The two ladies are both very sexy and in different ways too. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, which is, of course, a hallmark of DeCoteau films, and I could think of about a million other ways to ruin an evening than watching The Killer Eye. There’s also a nice little feel of the classic outer space monster movie from like the 50s or 60s. Granted, this is much more outwardly sexual and mature in its presentation, but you get what I’m saying.

While this is toward the very end of Jacqueline Lovell’s time as a leading lady in these types of mature films from companies like Full Moon, we still have one more movie of hers to cover to wrap this theme month up like a perfectly picked out Christmas present under the tree. Next week, we’ll actually take a step backward on Jacqueline Lovell’s timeline to 1997 for our finale of Full Moon Fever III with Charles Band’s Hideous! See you then and, until then, don’t try having any fuck times with giant eyeball monster things, cool? You might be setting up an entire invasion from the 8th dimension.