Welcome to the astonishing 300th article of B-Movie Enema!
It’s been a long time getting here. What’s funny is that I think back over the last several years and I could never be able to tell you the movies in order that I’ve covered. If you named a movie, I could easily immediately say, “Yeah, I covered that at some point!” I find it very hard to say even the month in which I covered a movie. It all just feels like a blur.
I could probably rattle off more than half of the movies covered just off the top of my head, but the roughly 27,000 hours I spent watching movies, plus the time it takes to write the articles while watching the movies at least doubles those hours, has been a pleasure. Sure, I’ve seen some good movies, and, yes, I’ve definitely seen my more than fair share of crap. Then, there’s the crap that just takes the shit cake. Not many movies have made it to the utmost upper echelon of films. Similarly, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, for as many not-so-great movies I’ve covered, very few have sunk to the absolute bottom of the barrel.
To celebrate 300 B-Movie Enema articles, I decided to bring the pain. It’s time to crown a new “Worst of All-Time” champion for the site. It’s time for The Howling: New Moon Rising.
Wurr-wilf? That’s what B-Movie Enema Industries has on tap this week? You better believe it. It’s “absolutely fascinating”. Werewolf from 1995 is historically known as one of the funniest episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Think about that… One of the funniest episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. That’s really saying something. That’s a series that week after week after week for a solid ten years between two networks, two hosts, different sets of mads was hitting the ball out of the park. There aren’t many episodes aren’t just funny throughout the 100 or so minutes you spend with Mike or Joel and the bots.
When the show returned for the two seasons on Netflix, it still proved to be quite funny with a new host and yet another set of mads.
Anyway, Werewolf was one of the occasional recent movies that show covered. It’s a truly bizarre direct-to-video movie that takes place in Arizona, but is mostly full of foreign actors pretending to be American. Okay, maybe that last part isn’t entirely provable, but it sure seems like they are pretending to be normal ol’ mid 90s Americans. Yes, there are American actors. There’s Richard Lynch who did lots of “my kind” of movies in his career with a bunch of Cannon Films movies on his filmography. There’s that one guy who is basically a proto-Duck Dynasty guy, you know, Joe Estevez. Then there’s that bearded fella that appears in the movie.
Okay, so here we are in the third week of Full Moon Fever II: Torchlight Diaries and we’re done with the space babes for the month, but we’re not done with another reference I’ve been making all month long.
This week, I’m gonna take a look at Huntress: Spirit of the Night from 1995. This is about a family curse, some aristocratic family, and it appears to be about some mood. Now, that said, it’s still a mid 90s erotic thriller from Full Moon, so you can bet your ass that we’re gonna get a lot of sexy with that heaving mounds of mood. Oh yeah… That reference I said I would be making…
The film is directed by Mark Manos. Now, early on in his career he directed some episodes of Freddy’s Nightmares. In fact, he’s done a shitload of TV shows even as recently as the new MacGyver show and Interrogation. So that’s not for nuthin’. He did a handful of Full Moon’s horror movies, including their pseudo-superhero film Dark Angel: The Ascent, which I covered last fall. So he was a bit of Full Moon bullpen kind of guy.
It’s the second episode of the smash new series – B-Movie Enema! This week, Dr. Geoff Arbuckle, B-Movie Proctologist extraordinaire, and his trusty sidekick, Nurse Disembaudee, watch the fun 1989 monster comedy My Mom’s a Werewolf!
While it hasn’t been so long ago that I last covered an Italian flick, it has been quite some time since I talked about werewolves. Damn, it has been four years since I covered Werewolf of Washington as an “Election Day Special” in 2016. I most definitely feel as though nothing of huge import hasn’t happened every single day since then, am I right?
(Checks the internet. Goes to Twitter. Checks in on friends over at the Facebook. Goes to the CDC’s website. Cries uncontrollably while huddled in a corner. Recovers by shambling back to the computer desk like Spock at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan after he messed himself up and was blinded after fixing the Enterprise.)
Oh my god.
Well, there’s only one cure for the depressing world that we live in and that’s B-Movie Enema…(?) This week, I’m going to discuss the Italian werewolf movie starring a German wolfman and Roman Polanski’s first wife – Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory! Continue reading “Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (1961)”→
My fellow Americans… In this time of strife, unrest, dangers from threats inside and outside our great nation, I call on you to do your civic duty and vote. Don’t vote Democrat or Republican. Libertarian or Green. Vote Werewolf. He is a man with voracity and spirit! He is a man who would later appear on a cult classic television show about a guy who time travels by leaping into bodies and helping right historical wrongs. As his poster says he “Makes it Perfectly Clear!”
This month’s Vampiralooza continues on B-Movie Enema with The Werewolf Vs. Vampire Woman. This week we travel over to Europe and visit with a true horror icon that many here may not know too much about – Spanish filmmaker Paul Naschy.
Naschy is known for playing just about every monster you can think of which has granted him a distinction of being the Spanish Lon Chaney. Despite playing Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, the Hunchback, and Count Dracula, it’s his work as cursed werewolf Waldemar Daninsky in an entire series named “The Hombre Lobo Series” This run found him playing Daninsky a grand total of TWELVE times. Continue reading “The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman (1971)”→