Abducted By the Daleks (2005)

Oh boy…

You know what I often think about while watching Doctor Who? Big-tittied Eurobabes getting fucked by Daleks. What can I say? I’m a fucking weirdo. For real, this week’s B-Movie Enema article dives deep into the anal cavities of mid-00s direct to video sleaze and pornography. This skin flick goes by two names, but the one it gets most notoriety for is Abducted By the Daleks.

Naturally, England’s BBC is not too keen about something they have ownership of being used as sex toys so that other title this movie goes by is Abducted By the Daloids. Yeah. You’re not fooling anyone.

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Monamour (2006)

Welcome to the conclusion of Tinto Brass Extravaganza here at B-Movie Enema. So far, we’ve featured a comedy with some fairly mixed morals on sex and love in Cheeky!, followed by a very good drama about an Italian aristocrat falling in love with a Nazi officer in Black Angel, and then a mixed bag of shorts in the anthology Private. Now it’s up to our final entry, the 2006 drama Monamour, to tip the scales to one side or another in terms of full on quality.

I’ll admit, that while not everything in Cheeky! is something I would like to deal with as a lover of a free spirit, I absolutely cannot deny that there is lots of very pretty things to look at whenever Yuliya Mayarchuk was on screen. It made the movie watchable and kind of vaguely enjoyable for its raw sexuality. Hell, I’d say the movie dropped any pretense of sensuality to just give us a lot of Ukrainian beaver cinematography.

Private is split 50/50. Half the stories were interesting or sexy, and one was even kind of sweet at the end to put a bow on the whole anthology. But that didn’t pretend to be sensual either. It was anywhere from 12-15 minutes of the private lives of very horny couples. VERY horny couples. Black Angel was where Brass dumped all his effort into actually exploring sensuality. It had an aging woman aching for excitement even if it had to come from something wrapped in the uniform of objective evil. As an aging person myself, well, well, well past his prime in most everything except for eating McRibs and writing about B-movies, I can identify with that.

Monamour seems to be a bit of a return to that exploration and need of a return to sexual excitement and spontaneity.

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Private (2003)

Here we are in the third week of Tinto Brass Extravaganza at B-Movie Enema, and, so far, we’ve had a sex comedy with very confusing messaging and a very serious erotic Nazi drama. This week, we do something different again – we have ourselves an anthology. Private, as it is titled here, is made up of six independent vignettes.

The vignettes largely deal with couples and their various sexual turn-ons and either retelling stories that feature them or a pursuit of doing these things. Mostly, we’re looking into the lives of normal people who have kinks. The title in Italian is Fallo! which is translated to English as Do It! However, Fallo is also the Italian word for Phallus. So it’s a little bit of a play on words again as with the Italian title for Cheeky! a couple weeks ago.

Just guessing, but I assume all the potential titles that you can use for this film all tips the film’s hand at showing these private moments of couples, their perversions, and the tendency of these people to want to, or be encouraged to continue to, keep doing what they are doing. I will give Brass one thing – he has lovely free association with his titles and plots. Also, the Italian Fallo! cover of this movie looks like a dick with a giant set of balls. Also, the Private DVD cover looks like an American back room porno tape.

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Black Angel (2002)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and this month’s theme, Tinto Brass Extravaganza!

Wowzers did things get started in a real weird way last week with Cheeky! That movie created all sorts of incredibly confusing thoughts and feelings. Taken on its face, it’s about this drop dead gorgeous woman and her sexual exploits from Italy to England. Taken on a slightly different level, it’s more of a sexual fairy tale of twists and turns in a world where EVERYONE is getting laid. Maybe, just maybe, it really is meant to be taken on that face value based on its popular English title. On the other hand, its Italian title is a play on the words for transgress and betray. Using that, it’s (potentially) a much darker movie than you think. It’s not something to compare so much to the popular Emanuelle films, but instead a much more immature porn film.

So to fix that, this week, we’re looking at Black Angel – an erotic Nazi film.

I sure know how to pick ’em, don’t I, Enemaniacs?

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Cheeky! (2000)

So far, it seems as though 2022 is about squaring some accounts. In January, it was all about finally digging deep into the Andy Sidaris filmography. For February, I have another box set long overdue for a-crackin’. With that, welcome to B-Movie Enema’s new theme month: The Tinto Brass Extravaganza!

I did not set out to cover these four films that came in this lovely “Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema” box set in order. I didn’t even get the box set because I knew much about it. But, as it would turn out, these four films will be done in order of Brass’ films from 2000 to 2006. We begin with Cheeky! – which is a fun title for a movie that I have lots of concerns with.

How I came to know about this film is actually quite simple… I stumbled upon the opening credits scene of an incredibly beautiful blonde (Ukrainian model/actress Yuliya Mayarchuk) walking through the park with a beguiling outfit that often shows a little cheeky flesh here and there to get the guys nice and excited. I had to learn more about what this film was and who this gorgeous woman was. I found out what it was called, that it was part of a box set, and that this guy Tinto Brass was the maestro of erotic cinema.

SOLD!

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Shining Sex (1975)

B-Movie Enema has reached the end of Lina Romay Month!

And, if I’m being honest, I need a break. This has been an emotionally draining month of adult entertainment from Jess Franco. Each and every one of the previous Severin released Franco films featuring the gorgeous Ms. Romay had something on there to say that it was the most erotic, most decadent, most debaucherous, most this, and most that of Romay’s career or of Franco’s one year period of 46 movies that explored sadistic, homosexual, and murderous whatever.

Every. Single. One. Of. These. Movies.

But now, it’s time for Shining Sex. This is about an exotic dancer (Romay), who is seduced by an alien from a different dimension named Alpha and her human slave. They come to learn about the sex. Meanwhile, Jess Franco is also in the movie playing a guy who’s all about the paranormal. It’s one of the few times that Franco went into things like the paranormal and science fiction. So, I suppose you can say we’re in for a real treat for this final entry in this theme month! But before we dive into the movie, we should probably see what Severin has to add from the back of their Blu Ray release of this exploitation classic…

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Night of Open Sex (1983)

As 1983 dawned, Jess Franco was a man on a mission… He was going to make 16 movies.

Let that set in. SIXTEEN MOVIES. Quentin Tarantino won’t make 16 movies in his career. Okay, sure, one or two of them were not directed by him, but he produced and/or wrote them. What the fuck ever. He was making more than one movie a month. Okay, sure, most of them didn’t have much of a budget, or much of a costuming department, or a story. What the fuck ever. He was plowing through movies on his way to his most productive year in his incredibly productive career.

So, in February of 1983, he released one of those 16 flicks in Spain – Night of Open Sex. This is our fourth entry in Lina Romay Month here at B-Movie Enema, and this one might be a doozy. You see, Night of Open Sex isn’t quite like the previous entries this month. Oh no. This movie is actually a Eurospy thriller comedy caper. How does any of that work? I dunno, but here we are.

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The Hot Nights of Linda (1975)

It’s still Lina Romay Month here at B-Movie Enema and this week, it is time for to put away the Marquis de Sade and all the really weirdo sex stuff for something that has a bit more in the way of lesbianism (ooh!), murder (okay, you have my attention)… incest (uh oh)… and sadism.

Goddamn it.

Well, I did mention previously that Jess Franco is a bit of a weird dude. I don’t know if he was more interested in mixing sex into these various other ideas, up to and including stuff by Marquis de Sade, or if he was truly a sex pervert. Either way, his filmography has all sorts of erotic thrillers and fairly depraved shit from the 70s through the 90s. This week’s featured movie, The Hot Nights of Linda, is no different.

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