Geoff and Nurse Disembaudee need to call in a Poop Chute Technician to help repair the problems they’ve been having while they watch Brett Piper’s 2000 masterpiece, Drainiac!
Abducted By the Daleks (2005)
You know what I often think about while watching Doctor Who? Big-tittied Eurobabes getting fucked by Daleks. What can I say? I’m a fucking weirdo. For real, this week’s B-Movie Enema article dives deep into the anal cavities of mid-00s direct to video sleaze and pornography. This skin flick goes by two names, but the one it gets most notoriety for is Abducted By the Daleks.
Naturally, England’s BBC is not too keen about something they have ownership of being used as sex toys so that other title this movie goes by is Abducted By the Daloids. Yeah. You’re not fooling anyone.Continue reading “Abducted By the Daleks (2005)”
Radical Jack (2001)
So, yeah, back at Christmas, I took a look at the 1991 film Cool As Ice starring flash in the pan rap superstar Vanilla Ice. I hated it. I really hated it. But, because it’s me, and I hate myself more than, well, I guess more than anything, I want to look at another movie starring another flash in the pan recording artist.
That’s what B-Movie Enema is all about, kids. I torture myself with movies starring Vanilla Ice or, as it is this week, Billy Ray Cyrus. In 2001, Mr. Ray Cyrus decided he would become a motorcycle-riding gritty action star and star opposite Michelle Pfeiffer’s sister, Dedee, in James Allen Bradley’s direct-to-video magnum opus Radical Jack. Sigh…
Well, at least there is a hot chick who gets naked in this movie…Continue reading “Radical Jack (2001)”
Welcome to the conclusion of Tinto Brass Extravaganza here at B-Movie Enema. So far, we’ve featured a comedy with some fairly mixed morals on sex and love in Cheeky!, followed by a very good drama about an Italian aristocrat falling in love with a Nazi officer in Black Angel, and then a mixed bag of shorts in the anthology Private. Now it’s up to our final entry, the 2006 drama Monamour, to tip the scales to one side or another in terms of full on quality.
I’ll admit, that while not everything in Cheeky! is something I would like to deal with as a lover of a free spirit, I absolutely cannot deny that there is lots of very pretty things to look at whenever Yuliya Mayarchuk was on screen. It made the movie watchable and kind of vaguely enjoyable for its raw sexuality. Hell, I’d say the movie dropped any pretense of sensuality to just give us a lot of Ukrainian beaver cinematography.
Private is split 50/50. Half the stories were interesting or sexy, and one was even kind of sweet at the end to put a bow on the whole anthology. But that didn’t pretend to be sensual either. It was anywhere from 12-15 minutes of the private lives of very horny couples. VERY horny couples. Black Angel was where Brass dumped all his effort into actually exploring sensuality. It had an aging woman aching for excitement even if it had to come from something wrapped in the uniform of objective evil. As an aging person myself, well, well, well past his prime in most everything except for eating McRibs and writing about B-movies, I can identify with that.
Monamour seems to be a bit of a return to that exploration and need of a return to sexual excitement and spontaneity.Continue reading “Monamour (2006)”
Here we are in the third week of Tinto Brass Extravaganza at B-Movie Enema, and, so far, we’ve had a sex comedy with very confusing messaging and a very serious erotic Nazi drama. This week, we do something different again – we have ourselves an anthology. Private, as it is titled here, is made up of six independent vignettes.
The vignettes largely deal with couples and their various sexual turn-ons and either retelling stories that feature them or a pursuit of doing these things. Mostly, we’re looking into the lives of normal people who have kinks. The title in Italian is Fallo! which is translated to English as Do It! However, Fallo is also the Italian word for Phallus. So it’s a little bit of a play on words again as with the Italian title for Cheeky! a couple weeks ago.
Just guessing, but I assume all the potential titles that you can use for this film all tips the film’s hand at showing these private moments of couples, their perversions, and the tendency of these people to want to, or be encouraged to continue to, keep doing what they are doing. I will give Brass one thing – he has lovely free association with his titles and plots. Also, the Italian Fallo! cover of this movie looks like a dick with a giant set of balls. Also, the Private DVD cover looks like an American back room porno tape.Continue reading “Private (2003)”
Black Angel (2002)
Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and this month’s theme, Tinto Brass Extravaganza!
Wowzers did things get started in a real weird way last week with Cheeky! That movie created all sorts of incredibly confusing thoughts and feelings. Taken on its face, it’s about this drop dead gorgeous woman and her sexual exploits from Italy to England. Taken on a slightly different level, it’s more of a sexual fairy tale of twists and turns in a world where EVERYONE is getting laid. Maybe, just maybe, it really is meant to be taken on that face value based on its popular English title. On the other hand, its Italian title is a play on the words for transgress and betray. Using that, it’s (potentially) a much darker movie than you think. It’s not something to compare so much to the popular Emanuelle films, but instead a much more immature porn film.
So to fix that, this week, we’re looking at Black Angel – an erotic Nazi film.
I sure know how to pick ’em, don’t I, Enemaniacs?Continue reading “Black Angel (2002)”
So far, it seems as though 2022 is about squaring some accounts. In January, it was all about finally digging deep into the Andy Sidaris filmography. For February, I have another box set long overdue for a-crackin’. With that, welcome to B-Movie Enema’s new theme month: The Tinto Brass Extravaganza!
I did not set out to cover these four films that came in this lovely “Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema” box set in order. I didn’t even get the box set because I knew much about it. But, as it would turn out, these four films will be done in order of Brass’ films from 2000 to 2006. We begin with Cheeky! – which is a fun title for a movie that I have lots of concerns with.
How I came to know about this film is actually quite simple… I stumbled upon the opening credits scene of an incredibly beautiful blonde (Ukrainian model/actress Yuliya Mayarchuk) walking through the park with a beguiling outfit that often shows a little cheeky flesh here and there to get the guys nice and excited. I had to learn more about what this film was and who this gorgeous woman was. I found out what it was called, that it was part of a box set, and that this guy Tinto Brass was the maestro of erotic cinema.
SOLD!Continue reading “Cheeky! (2000)”
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
Well, look who came back for another dose of utter terrible batshit pain! It’s you! This is B-Movie Enema. I am Geoff Arbuckle. This is Resident Evil Sequel Month. This time around it’s the third installment, Resident Evil: Extinction from 2007.
We’re still with Paul W.S. Anderson on writing duty, but this is the last time that he would not direct an entry of the series. This time around, we have British director Russel Mulcahy. Mulcahy is probably best known to people come here to this page as the director of 1986’s Highlander. That movie is rad. Plus Queen’s soundtrack is amazing.Continue reading “Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)”