Resident Evil (2002)

Oh boy.

So here’s a movie I’ve wanted to talk about in some way, shape, or form since I got into this Enema business – Paul W.S. Anderson’s Resident Evil. But why? Why would I want to dive deep into this series? Well, there are lots of reasons I can think of. First, it’s a movie based on a video game series. The genre of video game movies are lousy with movies that are, well, lousy.

Second, Paul W.S. Anderson himself. Look, I like his Event Horizon. I thought that movie was creepy, fun, and fine enough despite its bad reviews. I know people feel the same way about his follow up film Soldier. I didn’t see that one. Mortal Kombat… Eh… That’s a bad movie. It is a very, very bad, bad movie. That said, it’s kind of fun in its shitliness.

Third, I saw this movie. I was working at a movie theater on March 15, 2002 when this film came out. I saw it. It was bad. It was a big, dumb, bad action movie. But it made a shitload of money. Piles of dough was thrown at this movie by its fans. Five sequels later, people freaking love this movie and series. All this from a really bad movie that is kind of emblematic of the entire first decade of movies that launched the 21st century.

Continue reading “Resident Evil (2002)”

Zorrita: Passion’s Avenger (2000)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema, my lovely Enemaniacs!

This week’s movie, Zorrita: Passion’s Avenger, continues the march to the inevitable conclusion of Full Moon Fever: Torchlight Diaries! This entry comes from director Madison Monroe. Now, I will assume that Madison is a lady. I mean I suppose it could be a dude, but I prefer the idea of it being a lady. I assume that with a name like Madison Monroe, she probably looks like that one cheerleader for the football team that EVERY guy wanted to catch a glimpse of in the locker room if you catch my drift.

I do quite appreciate a typical cheerleader stereotype collecting towels and putting them in that big wheeled hamper thing that gets collected by equipment managers and then taken to the laundry room? I mean, she’s in the locker room because she works on the equipment side of the thing. She’s not a cheerleader at all. Also, she’s probably fully clothed in baggy sweatpants and a big ol’ sweatshirt or hoodie? By no means is she naked or in any way exposed. She’s just, mmmm, doing the thing with the laundry… Oh yeah. That’s it. Put it into the big wheeled hamper thingy, Madison. Do it slower next time. Oh yeah, Maddy baby…

Look, people, I have a VERY specific fetish.

Continue reading “Zorrita: Passion’s Avenger (2000)”

Faust: Love of the Damned (2000)

Alrighty…  I haven’t yet had enough of demons and devils and shit.  So let’s keep that rolling with this week’s feature – Faust: Love of the Damned.

What’s really interesting about this movie is that it’s directed by Brian Yuzna who’s been involved in several great horror movies of the 80s from Re-Animator to From Beyond to Society to… Honey, I Shrunk the Kids…?!?  No shit?  Huh.  Well, he also produced Ticks, a movie I familiarized myself with a couple months back. Continue reading “Faust: Love of the Damned (2000)”

Night of the Demons (2009)

Happy Halloween Eve!  It’s that time of the year that B-Movie Enema does the Halloween special post.  The last two years I did Halloween: Resurrection and Halloween III: Season of the Witch.  Technically, both are listed with their theme months on this site’s category pages, but neither truly fit the actual month they appeared in.  Halloween: Resurrection had no vampires nor did Halloween III technically have any recognizable slasher villains – just a damn dirty Irishman drunk on Celtic need to kill children.

Fuckin’ Irish. Continue reading “Night of the Demons (2009)”

Poison Ivy: The Secret Society (2008)

Man, I love girls dangerously exploring their own sensuality.

That’s just a simple fact.  It has nothing to do with this blog.  I just like it when girls get a little cuckoo over the bone.  Who doesn’t?

I’m also a big fan of the Poison Ivy movies.

That has a lot more to do with this blog – and today’s entry in particular.  Back in December of 2016, we looked at the second entry in this series, 1996’s Poison Ivy II: Lily, starring Alyssa Milano.  A third movie came out a year later starring Jaime Pressly.  For a little over a decade, the series laid dormant until a fourth film, Poison Ivy: The Secret Society, came along. Continue reading “Poison Ivy: The Secret Society (2008)”

xXx (2002)

Fuck yeah, bro!  I finally get to talk about my favorite pastime…  XXX!  Porn!  Gross people doing gross shit to each other!!!

What’s that?

Vin Diesel?  Asia Argento?  Tattoos?  Okay, well, I mean I guess Vin Diesel is okay.  Not sure I want to see his schlong, but Asia Argento?  I wanna see what tattoos she has in places that aren’t usually available to the naked (heh) eye.  She’s probably into some weird shit too…

Say what? Continue reading “xXx (2002)”

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Remember when Lindsay Lohan was, perhaps, one of the biggest young, rising stars in Hollywood?  Also, she was really super hot?

Of course you do.  What you probably don’t remember all that well, is that her rising star and super hot lady thing lasted an extremely short period in time.  It was like a frozen moment that we all remember being at least a little longer than the one or two years that she possessed those titles.  We look back on that time in which she starred in Mean Girls and had a couple really nice photo spreads in your Maxims, Details, or whatever as if we’re looking at a mosquito in amber . Continue reading “I Know Who Killed Me (2007)”

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Earlier this summer, Spider-Man 3 turned 10 years old.  It’s really odd to think about that.  The third of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man Trilogy is only 10 years old.

Since the release of this movie, ALL of the Avengers movies have been released – among all the other outlying Marvel movies.  DC has now created four movies in their own expanded universe.  There have been 7 X-Men movies – including an entire trilogy of Wolverine movies and a completely rebooted X-Men series.

And as of today, Spider-Man himself has been rebooted twice. Continue reading “Spider-Man 3 (2007)”