There’s a line in that last song in Grease that has been cut out due to no one understanding what the fuck it meant in 1978: We go together like Monsturd and B-Movie Enema. And then there’s a bunch of nonsense words like someone is doing a 50s white boy scat before it says something about being remembered forever or some such shit.
Heh… scat.
Double heh… shit.
Continue reading “Monsturd (2003)” →
Hello, Enemaniacs, and welcome to a new B-Movie Enema review!
This week, I’m going to be looking at a movie that would not have been on my radar if not for last year’s AMC Fear Fest, the October tradition of AMC playing horror movies pretty much all day and all night for the entire month leading up to Halloween. One of the things that I often find myself chuckling about when it comes to Fear Fest is that it seems like almost every time I turn on AMC on any random October day, Halloween 5 is usually playing. It’s almost without fail that’s what’s on when I tune in. The other thing that is almost a constant on Fear Fest is a whole slew of underwhelming 2000s horror.
And that’s where we pick up for this week’s review. 2009’s The Uninvited mostly slipped through just about every crack of the rickety dock over a dirty pond. For the most part, I only knew two things before I started watching it that fateful day on AMC Fear Fest. The first is that the trailer for this movie was before every single Friday the 13th movie DVD I had in the multi-pack I had before I upgraded to the Blu-Ray. Second, it starred that one girl who was in Zack Snyder’s shitty Sucker Punch movie.
Sucker Punch may be a review for another day…
Continue reading “The Uninvited (2009)” →
Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and the final week of Troma Month!
This month has been a fun one, hasn’t it? Whether it’s a love letter to Kaufman’s appreciation of William Shakespeare in the romance Tromeo and Juliet, or the earlier Tromaville kids run amok horror Class of Nuke ‘Em High, or the most Troma film of them all, Terror Firmer… It’s been a good time visiting these classics from the 80s and 90s master of gross-out comedy, horror, and comedy-horror, Lloyd Kaufman. But now, we bring things to a close with another dark comedy-horror from the man himself. However, this time, we have a bit of a twist.
This time we have a musical.
Yes, it’s Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. This time around, Kaufman has a little uncredited help from one of the co-writers of the film, Gabriel Friedman. Friedman would go on to be a producer for specials for the cable channels E! and G4, as well as for online series like The IGN Show. In fact, he mostly worked on a lot of specials and behind-the-scenes stuff, including making-of documentaries for Troma films like Terror Firmer and Citizen Toxie. His writing credits are mostly for Troma films like this one, Make Your Own Damn Movie!, the aforementioned fourth Toxie flick, and Lloyd Kaufman’s most recent, #ShakespearesShitstorm.
Continue reading “Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)” →
Welcome back, Enemaniacs!
Yup, it’s another Friday and another review here at B-Movie Enema. This week, allow me to take you to the magical islands of Japan. There, we’ll meet Masaru Daisatou. Daisatou-san is seemingly a normal guy, but he’s got a special superpower. That superpower allows him to grow about 30 meters in height when he receives a jolt of high voltage electricity. He uses this superpower to fight monsters just as his father and grandfather did before him in the identity of Big Man Japan.
Continue reading “Big Man Japan (2007)” →
Nefarious real estate guy Malcolm McDowell buys New York’s Hart Island to build a village for the homeless, but spectral flies and maggots who call the island home might have other ideas in 2000’s Island of the Dead on this week’s B-Movie Enema: The Series!
Welcome to week #2 of B-Movie Enema’s Steven Seagal Month!
This week, our large mound of pounding fudge rounds is doling out some Urban Justice. This comes to us from director Don E. FauntLeRoy. FauntLeRoy previously directed Seagal in Today You Die and Mercenary for Justimce. This would be his third and final collaboration with the actor. Aside from the trio of mid-00s Seagal action flicks, he also workj ed on the Anaconda series directing the thiyrd andm my z,a fourth films. He worked with Jason Connery, Sean’s son, on a superhero movie called Lightspeed which featured a character created bl Stan Lee.
Those directing credits aren’t too impressive, but he still has some impressive films on his resume. You see… FauntLeRoy’s real trade was as a cameraman. He worked behind the lens as an assistant early on in the 70s and 80s. He cut his teeth on TV before getting to be either an assistant cameraman or second unit cameramk,qan on films like Raging Bull, 2010: The Year We Make Contact, and The Goonies. Perhaps his biggest film on the list of films he worked on as a camera guy was in 1991 when e worked on Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
When he graduated to become the Cinematographer on films, he worked on cheap-o movies like Munchie, The Skateboard Kid, and Munchie Strikes Back. However, he did work on three episodes of Ultraman: The Ultimate Hero and eventually hooking up with Victor Salva on the first two Jeepers Creepers films. Maybe the less said about Salva the better, but the point still remains, it’s not like FauntLeRoy hasn’t done some notable stuff. It maybe bodes well that this movie might look decent at the very least.
Continue reading “Urban Justice (2007)” →
Welcome to my public suicide note!
That’s right, Enemaniacs. This month of B-Movie Enema reviews might just end me. I hope not. I have lots of movies planned and I think 2024 is going to be a good one for the blog. There’s a new season of B-Movie Enema: The Series coming soon. Despite what some people might believe when talking to me, I have no intention of throwing my life away recklessly on foolish pursuits. But… Did I bite off more than I can chew with this opening theme month?
I guess we’ll find out in four weeks’ time. Welcome to Steven Seagal Month at B-Movie Enema. I know, I know… It sure did seem as though I would never again touch a Seagal flick after the torture that was Sniper: Special Ops, but I guess I’m just a glutton for cinematic diarrhea. It’s only four weeks. That can’t lead to that much pain and suffering, right? Right?
Anyway, I start the month off with this 2006 action flick Attack Force.
Continue reading “Attack Force (2006)” →
Welcome to B-Movie Enema.
You come to this place for movie reviews. Sometimes you get a laugh. Sometimes you might feel the pain I felt while watching a movie and you begin to cry. If you are some sort of weirdo that thinks heartbreak would feel good anywhere, then might I suggest you get the fuck out of here you goddamn monster?
We’ve been in this neighborhood before. Yes. Back in July, we took a trip to a scenic village to see what 1975’s The Stepford Wives was all about. We return again to check out the 2004 remake starring a pretty A-list cast of actors like Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, Christopher Walken, and Glenn Close. Not only do you have some pretty powerful actors involved but you also have the film being directed by Frank Oz.
But oh boy were there issues with this production.
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