Private (2003)

Here we are in the third week of Tinto Brass Extravaganza at B-Movie Enema, and, so far, we’ve had a sex comedy with very confusing messaging and a very serious erotic Nazi drama. This week, we do something different again – we have ourselves an anthology. Private, as it is titled here, is made up of six independent vignettes.

The vignettes largely deal with couples and their various sexual turn-ons and either retelling stories that feature them or a pursuit of doing these things. Mostly, we’re looking into the lives of normal people who have kinks. The title in Italian is Fallo! which is translated to English as Do It! However, Fallo is also the Italian word for Phallus. So it’s a little bit of a play on words again as with the Italian title for Cheeky! a couple weeks ago.

Just guessing, but I assume all the potential titles that you can use for this film all tips the film’s hand at showing these private moments of couples, their perversions, and the tendency of these people to want to, or be encouraged to continue to, keep doing what they are doing. I will give Brass one thing – he has lovely free association with his titles and plots. Also, the Italian Fallo! cover of this movie looks like a dick with a giant set of balls. Also, the Private DVD cover looks like an American back room porno tape.

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Cheeky! (2000)

So far, it seems as though 2022 is about squaring some accounts. In January, it was all about finally digging deep into the Andy Sidaris filmography. For February, I have another box set long overdue for a-crackin’. With that, welcome to B-Movie Enema’s new theme month: The Tinto Brass Extravaganza!

I did not set out to cover these four films that came in this lovely “Tinto Brass: Maestro of Erotic Cinema” box set in order. I didn’t even get the box set because I knew much about it. But, as it would turn out, these four films will be done in order of Brass’ films from 2000 to 2006. We begin with Cheeky! – which is a fun title for a movie that I have lots of concerns with.

How I came to know about this film is actually quite simple… I stumbled upon the opening credits scene of an incredibly beautiful blonde (Ukrainian model/actress Yuliya Mayarchuk) walking through the park with a beguiling outfit that often shows a little cheeky flesh here and there to get the guys nice and excited. I had to learn more about what this film was and who this gorgeous woman was. I found out what it was called, that it was part of a box set, and that this guy Tinto Brass was the maestro of erotic cinema.

SOLD!

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Do or Die (1991)

We close out Andy Sidaris Month here at B-Movie Enema with his sixth installment of the Bullets, Bombs, and Babes series, Do or Die.

This also marks the halfway point of the Triple B series. You know these movies were really kind of starting to afford ol’ uncle Andy a real opportunity to spend a little money and turn it around to a fairly big take on home video and late night cable airings. I say this because not only is Erik Estrada back, but top billed is Pat Morita as our villain Kane. Morita had been a significant star of his own playing the role of Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid series. He was pretty well liked and adored as a sweet sensei type. However, this time around, he’s an underground business man set on forcing Donna (Dona Spier back again) and her partner, Nicole Justin (Roberta Vasquez) to be hunted by teams of assassins

This might be a little bit more of a Most Dangerous Game type of scenario than what we normally get in this series. Maybe it’s a bit more like Savage Beach where we take away some of the intrigue elements and replace it with a more survival style of action. I like that Andy doesn’t let the series get too stale and tosses in one of these types of entries. It can usually help cut out some of the more needless complexity of the plot as a whole that we’ve seen in these films.

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Guns (1990)

Welcome to another B-Movie Enema review. This week, I’m gonna continue Andy Sidaris Month with not just the fifth in the Bullets, Bombs, and Babes Series, but also the first film in the Sidaris filmography of the 90s. Starring series regular Dona Spier and series newcomer Erik Estrada, this is Guns.

I mentioned last week that we were heading into the real stretch of the Sidaris run with the BBB Series. Spier is smack dab in the middle of her seven films as special agent Donna Hamilton. She is no longer with her partner for the last three films, Taryn, played by my favorite babe of the series – Hope Marie Carlton. Now, she’s partnered with new character with a recognizable face, Nicole Justin (played by Roberta Vasquez who played a femme fatale villainess in Picasso Trigger).

If there’s anything that Andy Sidaris likes, it’s consistency with his cast and crew. Also returning are Bruce Penhall who is our CIA agent from last week’s movie as well, Bruce Christian. Kym is back after taking last movie off, as are restauranteurs Edy and Rocky. There should be no surprise that Rodrigo Obregon has returned but as a different character for the fourth straight film. For the first time in this series, Michael Shane’s Shane Abilene returns marking the first time a member of the Abilene family has been seen in two films within the series. We need to get use to Shane as we’ll see him three more times before we complete the Sidaris library.

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Savage Beach (1989)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema’s Andy Sidaris Month!

You know what was part of my decision to kick 2022 off with this theme? It’s January, it’s cold. It’s gray and nighttime comes way too soon in the day. Andy Sidaris is a perfect thing to watch during these cold, dark, and lonely days. He takes us to sunny, beautiful, and sexy Hawaii in most of his films. That’s certainly what we have in line for this fourth film in his Bullets, Bombs, and Babes series – Savage Beach.

This time around, our favorite agents, Donna and Taryn, are transporting an important vaccine when they are forced to land on a remote island full of sandy beaches and tall palm trees. Nearby, there is a sunken World War II era Japanese ship that is just loaded to the balls with treasure. Our blonde bombshells are not alone on the island either. There are deadly bad guys looking for the sunken treasure too!

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Picasso Trigger (1988)

Welcome to yet another new year and a new slate of B-Movie Enema goodness. I decided I’d kick off 2022 with a whole month dedicated to our dearest friend, Andy Sidaris. To be fair, this is a little bit of a makeup for how much I’ve neglected poor Andy. Sidaris should be covered as much as possible at a website called B-Movie Enema, and, thus far, I’ve only done so twice. Once for Malibu Express waaaay back in 2016. Then, a second time for the world renown Hard Ticket to Hawaii last year.

So the fuck am I doin’ around here? Where’s the Andy? Where’s the beefcake, the cheesecake, the fun, and the explosions?

January 2022 will be Andy Sidaris Month, goddammit! We’re just going to keep ripping through his boobtacular action series picking right up with the third film in the BBB (Bullets, Bombs, and Babes) Series with Picasso Trigger. This movie sees the return of the incredibly lovely duo of Dona Spier, as the appropriately named Donna, and Hope Marie Carlton (one of my faves from this series), as Taryn. It also introduces yet another Abilene, Travis, played by Steve Bond (cool name, can’t be real).

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Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Alright, we’re through the muck of the first 300 editions of B-Movie Enema. It’s time to roll that odometer over and get going on a new batch of 300. To get this batch started, I need to cover a movie from 80s/90s B-movie maestro Fred Olen Ray. To be honest, I think there are only about five or six movies of his that I could choose from to cover… and not want to gauge my eyes out. So, I went with the classic 1988 black comedy horror, Hollywood Chainsaw Massacre.

It’s kind of hard to believe I’ve never covered a Fred Olen Ray movie before on this site. One could argue that the man made stuff that is ripe for the pickin’ by yours truly. And don’t think that this movie hasn’t come across my desk and been considered before. The same goes for his other classics like Cyclone, Alienator, Evil Toons, and Dinosaur Island. Pretty much every single one of those movies, as well as Sorceress, which he produced, has been sought out and vetted to be slotted in one of these Friday mornings, but always kept getting pushed back.

Considering I do have enough of his films, I probably can just go ahead and do a whole theme month. Maybe I’ll have to consider that down the line.

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