Tag: action

Missing in Action (1984)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle2 Comments

This review was written in advance of Chuck Norris passing away on March 19,2026 following a medical emergency. It’s not exactly written to be a tribute or an in memoriam to Norris, but more of a typical review of Missing In Action. That said, this movie is one of the more important ones in his filmography and the start of a franchise we will return to later in the year. It will be at that point that there will be more to say about the passing of an 80s action icon.

Oh boy, it’s time for some Chuck Norris/Cannon Films goodness on this week’s B-Movie Enema!

1984’s Missing in Action is kind of an important movie for our two primary entities. First and foremost, this was the first film Chuck Norris made for The Cannon Group and producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. That also meant that Cannon got Chuck Norris, an action star already, to more or less become the face for the company for years to come. This movie also brings director Joseph Zito back for another go at B-Movie Enema. Zito had previously directed The Prowler in 1981, but 1984 probably brought his two most recognizable films to his filmography – Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and Missing in Action. In 1985, Zito, Cannon, and Norris teamed up again for another movie that really should find its way to the blog someday soon, Invasion U.S.A.

It’s really hard not to compare Missing in Action to 1982’s First Blood. First Blood probably kicked off the subgenre that Letterboxd likes to call vetsploitation. And how could it not? It was Sylvester Stallone in a really good performance as John Rambo, which then led to several leading action characters in the 80s being somehow a part of the Vietnam War. Missing in Action originated as a treatment by James Cameron for Rambo: First Blood Part II. That’s where the Rambo flicks and the Missing in Action series both get their pretty tight similarities. Golan and Globus totally owned up to the fact that Cameron’s treatment served as the inspiration for their series. So they released Missing in Action and Missing in Action 2: The Beginning as quickly as they could to get it out ahead of Rambo to avoid any legal issues. I wasn’t entirely sure how that avoided issues, but whatever, it was the Go-Go Boys doing what they do best, go-going.

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Golden Needles (1974)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

This week’s B-Movie Enema is on the hunt for a legendary statue with needles, which, when stuck into an adult male in a very particular pattern, will turn that guy into a sexual Tyrannosaurus.

And it’s Joe Don Baker who is one of the men after it!

Yes, you read that right… Joe Don Baker is after the seven Golden Needles that will turn him into a sex machine (well, maybe not so much, but still…). If it wasn’t for a very specific appreciation for Baker, I might just have to barf. *Hurk*

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J.C. (1972)

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Happy Good Friday and Easter, my Enemaniacs.

Now, some people might celebrate Easter with a family get together. Normally, people are sitting around eating ham and enjoying the fresh spring that just sprung. Some years, it’s the fourth Sunday in March. In others, it could be as late as the fourth Sunday in April. Do not ask me why this is. It’s some weird old rule set like a thousand years ago. But either way, Good Friday (which, all things considered, doesn’t seem like it would be “Good,” but, again, don’t ask me) is the fabled day on which Jesus Christ was crucified. Easter, two days later on Sunday, is the day that Jesus rose and ascended to heaven.

I bet you’d think that because this is B-Movie Enema, I’m-a go with the whole “zombie Jesus” angle, right? Nope! I’m going bikers. Oh yes… 70s bikersploitation, baby! This week, I’m reviewing the 1972 action/drama J.C., directed by and starring William (Bill) F. McGaha.

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Howard the Duck (1986)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

Oh boy, Enemaniacs… This week and next is gonna be a doozy at B-Movie Enema.

Near the end of 1973, the 19th issue of Marvel Comics’ anthology series Adventure into Fear, writer Steve Gerber introduced a new character that was a parody of what were once referred to as cartoon funny animals (what we would call anthropomorphic animals today). This character was cynical. He chomped cigars and was a bit ill-tempered. A little over a decade later, for some reason, largely unknown producer George Lucas… Wait… Let me double-check that. Oh… I meant to type “one of the most powerful producers, George Lucas.” My bad.

Sorry about that. But anyway, for whatever reason, one of the most powerful producers in Hollywood thought his follow-up to ending the phenomenon that was the Star Wars Trilogy should be a movie based on this character whose popularity might not exactly be as widespread outside the comic spinner racks. The movie proved to be one of the greatest missteps in film history. The movie was 1986’s Howard the Duck, directed by Willard Huyck and co-written by Gloria Katz.

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Backflash (2001)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle3 Comments

Welcome to B-Movie Enema, my Enemaniacs.

It’s February. What happens in February? Well, it’s the last month we all have to deal with winter… if you aren’t in places like Miami or, I dunno, Calgary. That’s a good thing. It’s also the month that is basically dominated, at least in the first half of the month, by the lovey-dovey bullshit that is Valentine’s Day. That’s not such a great thing. It’s a Hallmark holiday. You should celebrate love and what have you every day…? Eh. Anyway, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you do get those Conversation Hearts, and that’s a good thing.

But the best part of February is that on February 11, every goddamn year, I turn a year older. I get more and more detached from marketing campaigns. I get more and more gray, in the handsome, distinguished way. I get to have lunch with my dad at one of my favorite restaurants. And I get a lot of messages wishing me a good one. I used to not be a big fan of my birthday, but, dammit, I’ve kinda grown to like it the older I get.

So, for my own birthday, I’m celebrating here at B-Movie Enema with something I’ve been known to do from time to time. I’ve done it for Alyssa Milano, Phoebe Cates, and Jacqueline Lovell. It’s time to do what I’ve should have done a loooooong time ago, and do it for someone I’ve got a very long history with – Melissa Joan Hart. Yes, it’s Melissa Joan Hart Month for February! And we start with her in a supporting role in 2001’s Backflash.

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Firebird 2015 AD (1981)

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On your marks… Get set… B-Movie Enema!

Alright, it’s 1981… Due to some circumstances that I am positive we didn’t help, the United States entered into a period known as the 1979 oil crisis. What this meant was that we were having some issues procuring oil for our gas-guzzling cars. Now, I know this because I had a couple in the course of my lifetime, but cars in the United States were either guzzling gas due to being MASSIVE and very long, or if you weren’t cool like me, you might have had a car that was just thirsting for gasoline because it was a sportier car or a Hemi. Really, all throughout the 70s, there were periods in which gas stations didn’t have gas, or there were long lines for people to put just a couple of gallons into their cars to be able to make it to work, or they went without.

Now, what would happen in the decades that followed (minus a couple of short periods of instability) was falling gas prices thanks to what would be known as the 1980s oil glut. No foolin’, prices would fall by about 65-70% in just a few years. However, in between the crisis and glut, pop culture decided to use the energy problems as the basis of some stories. Famously, the whole concept behind why there was a millions-of-years-long war between the Autobots and Decepticons on The Transformers was over energy, thanks to the real-world energy crises over the prior decade. That is also our starting point for the movie I’m reviewing this week, 1981’s Firebird 2015 AD.

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The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)

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This week’s B-Movie Enema review gets… biblical?

Eh, sure. Anyway, not long back, I covered The Toxic Avenger Part II, the long-awaited sequel to the smash Troma hit from 1984. Filmed at the same time was a second sequel, and the topic of this week’s review, The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie. That title should give a hint to a couple of things in this movie. First, Toxie is going to be tempted by a deal with the devil, specifically the devil that Toxie knows – Apocalypse, Inc. Second, I think the title was likely inspired not just from the 1988 Martin Scorsese film The Last Temptation of Christ, but probably more by that film’s pop culture popularity while both of these Toxic Avenger sequels were being filmed.

The Last Temptation of Christ wasn’t just a well-reviewed film for Scorsese, but it really was a hot-button topic during late 1988 and early 1989. No foolin’, the film created a BUNCH of controversy. There were terrorist attacks, death threats, and a whole lot of protests from upsetty Christians and Catholics because the film depicted a scene in which Christ, played by Willem Dafoe, and Mary Magdalene, played by Barbara Hershey, consummated their love for one another. When it comes to canonical religious texts, that’s not something the Jesus folk like to hear about. They like to think that the Christ was above earthly passions and/or Magdalene was a whore.

But I definitely digress because I ain’t no religious guy so I can’t speak to too much gospel.

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Money Plane (2020)

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This week, B-Movie Enema cashes out.

Let us take a trip to July 2020. The country, nay, the WORLD was in the grip of the COVID-19 pandemic. Remember that? COVID? You should, because, technically, it never really went away. It’s here… forever. Just like me, sitting at this computer, writing these reviews… I am forever.

Anyway, during the dark early days of the pandemic, and no movie theaters or restaurants open to get out of the house to enjoy, along came streaming services busting out all over the goddamn place. Content was flooding the void… for better or worse. Every streaming platform was booming. Movies that would have been buried by the mega releases in theaters were now being consumed by a greater percentage of the population. During this time, it was uncertain when new blockbusters were ever going to return. It wasn’t even sure if movie theaters were going to survive the shutdowns. But then, like a silver bird flying in from the far-off horizon, came a savior…

Money Plane.

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