Tag: action

Golden Needles (1974)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

This week’s B-Movie Enema is on the hunt for a legendary statue with needles, which, when stuck into an adult male in a very particular pattern, will turn that guy into a sexual Tyrannosaurus.

And it’s Joe Don Baker who is one of the men after it!

Yes, you read that right… Joe Don Baker is after the seven Golden Needles that will turn him into a sex machine (well, maybe not so much, but still…). If it wasn’t for a very specific appreciation for Baker, I might just have to barf. *Hurk*

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J.C. (1972)

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Happy Good Friday and Easter, my Enemaniacs.

Now, some people might celebrate Easter with a family get together. Normally, people are sitting around eating ham and enjoying the fresh spring that just sprung. Some years, it’s the fourth Sunday in March. In others, it could be as late as the fourth Sunday in April. Do not ask me why this is. It’s some weird old rule set like a thousand years ago. But either way, Good Friday (which, all things considered, doesn’t seem like it would be “Good,” but, again, don’t ask me) is the fabled day on which Jesus Christ was crucified. Easter, two days later on Sunday, is the day that Jesus rose and ascended to heaven.

I bet you’d think that because this is B-Movie Enema, I’m-a go with the whole “zombie Jesus” angle, right? Nope! I’m going bikers. Oh yes… 70s bikersploitation, baby! This week, I’m reviewing the 1972 action/drama J.C., directed by and starring William (Bill) F. McGaha.

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Howard the Duck (1986)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

Oh boy, Enemaniacs… This week and next is gonna be a doozy at B-Movie Enema.

Near the end of 1973, the 19th issue of Marvel Comics’ anthology series Adventure into Fear, writer Steve Gerber introduced a new character that was a parody of what were once referred to as cartoon funny animals (what we would call anthropomorphic animals today). This character was cynical. He chomped cigars and was a bit ill-tempered. A little over a decade later, for some reason, largely unknown producer George Lucas… Wait… Let me double-check that. Oh… I meant to type “one of the most powerful producers, George Lucas.” My bad.

Sorry about that. But anyway, for whatever reason, one of the most powerful producers in Hollywood thought his follow-up to ending the phenomenon that was the Star Wars Trilogy should be a movie based on this character whose popularity might not exactly be as widespread outside the comic spinner racks. The movie proved to be one of the greatest missteps in film history. The movie was 1986’s Howard the Duck, directed by Willard Huyck and co-written by Gloria Katz.

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Backflash (2001)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle3 Comments

Welcome to B-Movie Enema, my Enemaniacs.

It’s February. What happens in February? Well, it’s the last month we all have to deal with winter… if you aren’t in places like Miami or, I dunno, Calgary. That’s a good thing. It’s also the month that is basically dominated, at least in the first half of the month, by the lovey-dovey bullshit that is Valentine’s Day. That’s not such a great thing. It’s a Hallmark holiday. You should celebrate love and what have you every day…? Eh. Anyway, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you do get those Conversation Hearts, and that’s a good thing.

But the best part of February is that on February 11, every goddamn year, I turn a year older. I get more and more detached from marketing campaigns. I get more and more gray, in the handsome, distinguished way. I get to have lunch with my dad at one of my favorite restaurants. And I get a lot of messages wishing me a good one. I used to not be a big fan of my birthday, but, dammit, I’ve kinda grown to like it the older I get.

So, for my own birthday, I’m celebrating here at B-Movie Enema with something I’ve been known to do from time to time. I’ve done it for Alyssa Milano, Phoebe Cates, and Jacqueline Lovell. It’s time to do what I’ve should have done a loooooong time ago, and do it for someone I’ve got a very long history with – Melissa Joan Hart. Yes, it’s Melissa Joan Hart Month for February! And we start with her in a supporting role in 2001’s Backflash.

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Firebird 2015 AD (1981)

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On your marks… Get set… B-Movie Enema!

Alright, it’s 1981… Due to some circumstances that I am positive we didn’t help, the United States entered into a period known as the 1979 oil crisis. What this meant was that we were having some issues procuring oil for our gas-guzzling cars. Now, I know this because I had a couple in the course of my lifetime, but cars in the United States were either guzzling gas due to being MASSIVE and very long, or if you weren’t cool like me, you might have had a car that was just thirsting for gasoline because it was a sportier car or a Hemi. Really, all throughout the 70s, there were periods in which gas stations didn’t have gas, or there were long lines for people to put just a couple of gallons into their cars to be able to make it to work, or they went without.

Now, what would happen in the decades that followed (minus a couple of short periods of instability) was falling gas prices thanks to what would be known as the 1980s oil glut. No foolin’, prices would fall by about 65-70% in just a few years. However, in between the crisis and glut, pop culture decided to use the energy problems as the basis of some stories. Famously, the whole concept behind why there was a millions-of-years-long war between the Autobots and Decepticons on The Transformers was over energy, thanks to the real-world energy crises over the prior decade. That is also our starting point for the movie I’m reviewing this week, 1981’s Firebird 2015 AD.

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The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)

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This week’s B-Movie Enema review gets… biblical?

Eh, sure. Anyway, not long back, I covered The Toxic Avenger Part II, the long-awaited sequel to the smash Troma hit from 1984. Filmed at the same time was a second sequel, and the topic of this week’s review, The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie. That title should give a hint to a couple of things in this movie. First, Toxie is going to be tempted by a deal with the devil, specifically the devil that Toxie knows – Apocalypse, Inc. Second, I think the title was likely inspired not just from the 1988 Martin Scorsese film The Last Temptation of Christ, but probably more by that film’s pop culture popularity while both of these Toxic Avenger sequels were being filmed.

The Last Temptation of Christ wasn’t just a well-reviewed film for Scorsese, but it really was a hot-button topic during late 1988 and early 1989. No foolin’, the film created a BUNCH of controversy. There were terrorist attacks, death threats, and a whole lot of protests from upsetty Christians and Catholics because the film depicted a scene in which Christ, played by Willem Dafoe, and Mary Magdalene, played by Barbara Hershey, consummated their love for one another. When it comes to canonical religious texts, that’s not something the Jesus folk like to hear about. They like to think that the Christ was above earthly passions and/or Magdalene was a whore.

But I definitely digress because I ain’t no religious guy so I can’t speak to too much gospel.

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Money Plane (2020)

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This week, B-Movie Enema cashes out.

Let us take a trip to July 2020. The country, nay, the WORLD was in the grip of the COVID-19 pandemic. Remember that? COVID? You should, because, technically, it never really went away. It’s here… forever. Just like me, sitting at this computer, writing these reviews… I am forever.

Anyway, during the dark early days of the pandemic, and no movie theaters or restaurants open to get out of the house to enjoy, along came streaming services busting out all over the goddamn place. Content was flooding the void… for better or worse. Every streaming platform was booming. Movies that would have been buried by the mega releases in theaters were now being consumed by a greater percentage of the population. During this time, it was uncertain when new blockbusters were ever going to return. It wasn’t even sure if movie theaters were going to survive the shutdowns. But then, like a silver bird flying in from the far-off horizon, came a savior…

Money Plane.

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Welcome Home Brother Charles (1975)

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Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and spooky month 2025’s theme, Black Horror Halloween!

This week, I’m not entirely sure how much I want to talk about this movie before diving right in. To get this out of the way, I’ll be reviewing 1975’s Welcome Home Brother Charles. Generally speaking, this month was intended to kind of highlight blaxploitation and horror. This movie is probably technically neither. I will talk a little more about what I think the actual horror of this movie is directed at, but why it’s hard to frame this as a blaxploitation movie is due to the writer/producer/director, Jamaa Fanaka.

Fanaka is back for his third time on this blog. Previously, I covered Penitentiary and its sequel, Penitentiary II. Brother Charles would be his first commercial film. In 1972, before making this movie, he made a short called A Day in the Life of Willie Faust, or Death on the Installment Plan. That was his student film made at UCLA, which was received fairly well. It was about a heroin addict. When I covered those two Penitentiary films, I made mention that Fanaka was keen to not have his films be called blaxploitation by audiences or critics. He felt the term was a little reductive or dismissive of his attempts to portray life for black men.

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