Resident Evil (2002)

Oh boy.

So here’s a movie I’ve wanted to talk about in some way, shape, or form since I got into this Enema business – Paul W.S. Anderson’s Resident Evil. But why? Why would I want to dive deep into this series? Well, there are lots of reasons I can think of. First, it’s a movie based on a video game series. The genre of video game movies are lousy with movies that are, well, lousy.

Second, Paul W.S. Anderson himself. Look, I like his Event Horizon. I thought that movie was creepy, fun, and fine enough despite its bad reviews. I know people feel the same way about his follow up film Soldier. I didn’t see that one. Mortal Kombat… Eh… That’s a bad movie. It is a very, very bad, bad movie. That said, it’s kind of fun in its shitliness.

Third, I saw this movie. I was working at a movie theater on March 15, 2002 when this film came out. I saw it. It was bad. It was a big, dumb, bad action movie. But it made a shitload of money. Piles of dough was thrown at this movie by its fans. Five sequels later, people freaking love this movie and series. All this from a really bad movie that is kind of emblematic of the entire first decade of movies that launched the 21st century.

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Night of Open Sex (1983)

As 1983 dawned, Jess Franco was a man on a mission… He was going to make 16 movies.

Let that set in. SIXTEEN MOVIES. Quentin Tarantino won’t make 16 movies in his career. Okay, sure, one or two of them were not directed by him, but he produced and/or wrote them. What the fuck ever. He was making more than one movie a month. Okay, sure, most of them didn’t have much of a budget, or much of a costuming department, or a story. What the fuck ever. He was plowing through movies on his way to his most productive year in his incredibly productive career.

So, in February of 1983, he released one of those 16 flicks in Spain – Night of Open Sex. This is our fourth entry in Lina Romay Month here at B-Movie Enema, and this one might be a doozy. You see, Night of Open Sex isn’t quite like the previous entries this month. Oh no. This movie is actually a Eurospy thriller comedy caper. How does any of that work? I dunno, but here we are.

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Blood Games (1990)

In the long history of the “fans of a losing sports team goes on a revenge-fueled murder spree against the winners” genre, none are better than Tanya Rosenberg’s gripping classic from 1990, Blood Games.

In fact, this movie is so perfect, it’s the only movie Tanya Rosenberg ever made. After Blood Games, she was like, “Yup. I did it. I can do no better, and I should not even try. Suck it, Goodfellas. I made the best movie of 1990.”

Or so I imagine she said all that. I really don’t know. It is entirely possible she’s not even a real person. There is no additional information about her that I can find. I don’t even think this Vinegar Syndrome release of the movie even has any special features talking about her. For all I know, Tanya Rosenberg was created in an exploitation movie lab for the sole purpose of making Blood Games.

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Disco Godfather (1979)

In the history of comedy, there is probably no one whose cadence and timbre is more recognizable than Rudy Ray Moore. He’s loud. He’s crude. He’s insulting. He’s hilarious. He’s extremely likable. He also made a lot of really fun movies to watch.

Whether you know him by way of his blaxploitation movies of the 70s, especially Dolemite, or you know him through some of the recordings he made, or you even actually know him as “the Godfather of Rap”, or you only just learned of him through Eddie Murphy’s marvelous portrayal of him in Dolemite Is My Name, he’s someone that once you become aware of him, Moore never really leaves you.

I’ve wanted to do a Rudy Ray Moore movie for some time on the site. There are four primary choices I could have made. I settled on Disco Godfather to be the one that brings Rudy Ray Moore to my humble little website. Before we get into the movie proper, let’s talk about Moore a little bit and what makes him such a fun and interesting character.

And yes, I said “character” and not “person” because I think that’s how Moore lived most of the last 40 years of his life.

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Sheba, Baby (1975)

After last week with The Apple, I needed a reprieve. I need a palette cleanser. I need some blaxploitation. Thank fucking god William Girdler is here to help me out – and he’s brought Pam Grier!

This is Girdler’s 1975 action flick Sheba, Baby!

Now, I’ve talked about William Girdler twice before – once on Film Seizure’s Monster Mondays show (which some asshole with the same name as me hosts… wait, I’M the asshole). First up, I did The Manitou for Monster Mondays. That was a fascinating Exorcist rip-off centered around some Native American lore. That was neat. Then, over here, just this past October, I wrote about the blaxploitation Exorcist rip-off Abby. That one was fun too. He’s an interesting director. Sadly, he was killed scouting locations in Manila, Philippines for his 10th film.

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Zorrita: Passion’s Avenger (2000)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema, my lovely Enemaniacs!

This week’s movie, Zorrita: Passion’s Avenger, continues the march to the inevitable conclusion of Full Moon Fever: Torchlight Diaries! This entry comes from director Madison Monroe. Now, I will assume that Madison is a lady. I mean I suppose it could be a dude, but I prefer the idea of it being a lady. I assume that with a name like Madison Monroe, she probably looks like that one cheerleader for the football team that EVERY guy wanted to catch a glimpse of in the locker room if you catch my drift.

I do quite appreciate a typical cheerleader stereotype collecting towels and putting them in that big wheeled hamper thing that gets collected by equipment managers and then taken to the laundry room? I mean, she’s in the locker room because she works on the equipment side of the thing. She’s not a cheerleader at all. Also, she’s probably fully clothed in baggy sweatpants and a big ol’ sweatshirt or hoodie? By no means is she naked or in any way exposed. She’s just, mmmm, doing the thing with the laundry… Oh yeah. That’s it. Put it into the big wheeled hamper thingy, Madison. Do it slower next time. Oh yeah, Maddy baby…

Look, people, I have a VERY specific fetish.

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