Welcome to the astonishing 300th article of B-Movie Enema!
It’s been a long time getting here. What’s funny is that I think back over the last several years and I could never be able to tell you the movies in order that I’ve covered. If you named a movie, I could easily immediately say, “Yeah, I covered that at some point!” I find it very hard to say even the month in which I covered a movie. It all just feels like a blur.
I could probably rattle off more than half of the movies covered just off the top of my head, but the roughly 27,000 hours I spent watching movies, plus the time it takes to write the articles while watching the movies at least doubles those hours, has been a pleasure. Sure, I’ve seen some good movies, and, yes, I’ve definitely seen my more than fair share of crap. Then, there’s the crap that just takes the shit cake. Not many movies have made it to the utmost upper echelon of films. Similarly, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, for as many not-so-great movies I’ve covered, very few have sunk to the absolute bottom of the barrel.
To celebrate 300 B-Movie Enema articles, I decided to bring the pain. It’s time to crown a new “Worst of All-Time” champion for the site. It’s time for The Howling: New Moon Rising.
Angels and ministers of grace defend us.
Continue reading “The Howling: New Moon Rising (1995)”
Holy shit, guys and gals. It’s my 200th B-Movie Enema.
I’ll get to the more serious shit at the end of my look at this movie to try to sum up how it feels to be 200 enemas old. But I can say this – it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as you might think. In fact, I think I’m starting to like it.
So this week’s piece (of shit) is all about Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance. Frankly, I almost have to talk about this movie. Everyone in the world, for the past several years, have talked about Samurai Cop. It’s an infamous bad movie. However, if you come here each week to read about these goddamn movies, you know all about Samurai Cop. If nothing else, you’re aware of it or have seen clips from it. It’s Ed Wood famous. It’s mind-boggling in its structure and the way it plays out.
It’s simply glorious. Continue reading “Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance (2015)”
Previously on B-Movie Enema…
Wait… Oh no…
What the fuck is this shit?
No… I… The “Angel Collection” came with only THREE movies… Wh-what is this?
Oh god no…
And now… B-Movie Enema’s 175th article, Angel 4: Undercover. Continue reading “Angel 4: Undercover (1994)”
The final film of my Summer of Anniversaries event celebrates the 25th anniversary of Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth.
However, we’re a couple weeks early on the celebration end. Oddly enough, 1992 didn’t have much for me to choose from. 1987 and 1997 had a bunch. But in order to find something celebrating a 25th anniversary, I had to look to September.
For a movie that takes place in New York City with all sorts of hell breaking loose.
With the Twin Towers appearing in the background of the poster. Continue reading “Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)”
What’s this? Another utterly disappointing fourth film in a franchise to be released in July of 1987? You bet it is!
In a span of four weeks in the middle of the summer of 1987, moviegoers had to be subjected to Jaws: The Revenge from Universal, this week’s feature, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and Masters of the Universe. The latter two being massively popular intellectual properties for young kids – both released by Cannon Films.
That’s fucking depressing to know that much shit flew out of screens into your face in such a short period of time. Continue reading “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)”
Oof magoof… Talk about your ill-advised sequels.
1975’s Jaws is a cinematic triumph in proportions never seen before. It broke box office records. It was the first, true “blockbuster”. It changed the way movies are released. Hell, it created what would become the “summer movie”.
The funny thing is, it shouldn’t have worked out the way it did. The production was a disaster with mechanical sharks used to depict “Bruce the Shark” constantly breaking down and nearly unusable to the point that direct Steven Spielberg had to become incredibly creative on how he shot the shark. The production shot at sea which caused lots of problems when unwanted boats simply drifted into frame. The film went way beyond schedule and way over budget. Continue reading “Jaws: The Revenge (1987)”
Holy fishdicks, Batman! This week’s B-Movie Enema feature is, without a doubt, one of the most reviled comic book movies ever. This (along with another fourth movie in its franchise I’ll be talking about later this summer) effectively killed a relatively popular and very profitable Batman franchise.
Since it turns 20 this week, and this is a summer in which I’ll be focusing on those movies celebrating anniversaries, of course I’ll be featuring Batman and Robin. Continue reading “Batman and Robin (1997)”
Well, because the sweet embrace of death didn’t come to pass last week, I guess I have to continue Full Moon Fever. At least there’s a chick in her bra and panties on the cover of this week’s movie!
Er… I mean. That had zero bearing on me choosing this movie – Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt. No, that was the $2.95 price tag at the local Dollar General.
And the promise of tits. Lots and lots of tits. Continue reading “Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)”