Savage Beach (1989)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema’s Andy Sidaris Month!

You know what was part of my decision to kick 2022 off with this theme? It’s January, it’s cold. It’s gray and nighttime comes way too soon in the day. Andy Sidaris is a perfect thing to watch during these cold, dark, and lonely days. He takes us to sunny, beautiful, and sexy Hawaii in most of his films. That’s certainly what we have in line for this fourth film in his Bullets, Bombs, and Babes series – Savage Beach.

This time around, our favorite agents, Donna and Taryn, are transporting an important vaccine when they are forced to land on a remote island full of sandy beaches and tall palm trees. Nearby, there is a sunken World War II era Japanese ship that is just loaded to the balls with treasure. Our blonde bombshells are not alone on the island either. There are deadly bad guys looking for the sunken treasure too!

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Picasso Trigger (1988)

Welcome to yet another new year and a new slate of B-Movie Enema goodness. I decided I’d kick off 2022 with a whole month dedicated to our dearest friend, Andy Sidaris. To be fair, this is a little bit of a makeup for how much I’ve neglected poor Andy. Sidaris should be covered as much as possible at a website called B-Movie Enema, and, thus far, I’ve only done so twice. Once for Malibu Express waaaay back in 2016. Then, a second time for the world renown Hard Ticket to Hawaii last year.

So the fuck am I doin’ around here? Where’s the Andy? Where’s the beefcake, the cheesecake, the fun, and the explosions?

January 2022 will be Andy Sidaris Month, goddammit! We’re just going to keep ripping through his boobtacular action series picking right up with the third film in the BBB (Bullets, Bombs, and Babes) Series with Picasso Trigger. This movie sees the return of the incredibly lovely duo of Dona Spier, as the appropriately named Donna, and Hope Marie Carlton (one of my faves from this series), as Taryn. It also introduces yet another Abilene, Travis, played by Steve Bond (cool name, can’t be real).

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Ghostkeeper (1981)

So we’ve come the end of 2021. Was it better? Did you have a good time in 2021? I mean, 2020 was pretty shit. 2021 started real rough. I think we corrected course just in time to get back in the muck again. Sure there were deltas and omicrons and probably even persei 8s. But did you take care of yourselves? I mean it, my dear Enemaniacs, I hope you took care of yourselves. I hope if you had to recover from 2020, you did so. I hope if you tried to do something to better yourself in 2021 you were able.

We’re closing out the 22nd year of the 21st century with a film from the 20th.

This week’s film, Ghostkeeper, is a somewhat appreciated moody spirit movie from Canada with some traces of The Shining. Now, I know we’ve had a sketchy history with Canadian horror, but I’m promised that this is an atmospheric movie. It also at least starts on New Year’s Eve. That’s kind of awesome because there aren’t too many movies I can cover that run congruent to the day.

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Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Alright, we’re through the muck of the first 300 editions of B-Movie Enema. It’s time to roll that odometer over and get going on a new batch of 300. To get this batch started, I need to cover a movie from 80s/90s B-movie maestro Fred Olen Ray. To be honest, I think there are only about five or six movies of his that I could choose from to cover… and not want to gauge my eyes out. So, I went with the classic 1988 black comedy horror, Hollywood Chainsaw Massacre.

It’s kind of hard to believe I’ve never covered a Fred Olen Ray movie before on this site. One could argue that the man made stuff that is ripe for the pickin’ by yours truly. And don’t think that this movie hasn’t come across my desk and been considered before. The same goes for his other classics like Cyclone, Alienator, Evil Toons, and Dinosaur Island. Pretty much every single one of those movies, as well as Sorceress, which he produced, has been sought out and vetted to be slotted in one of these Friday mornings, but always kept getting pushed back.

Considering I do have enough of his films, I probably can just go ahead and do a whole theme month. Maybe I’ll have to consider that down the line.

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Dark Age (1987)

We’re goin’ to a land down under where John Jarrat and crocs rumble. Can’t you hear Arch Nicholson tell Nikki Coghill cut? You better run, I better get started.

Oh yes, it’s time to return to Australia for one of the most well liked Ozploitation horror adventures! This week, I’m talking about Arch Nicholson’s 1987 giant crocodile flick Dark Age. Now, check it out, this was part of a two-picture deal with the recently resurrected RKO Pictures. RKO was a golden age of cinema studio. Their biggest claim to fame? Motherfuckin’ King Kong, of course. RKO dissolved at the very end of the 50s and returned in 1981 and collaborated with some of the major studios.

I’m gonna guess this and the partner movie in the deal with RKO, The Lighthorseman, were products of the post-Crocodile Dundee Australia hysteria that not only gave us a bunch of Paul Hogan stuff and Yahoo Serious. I think we know who won in that deal. Also, we had lots of Mel Gibson stuff in the late 80s, as he was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood at that time too. So, yeah, I can see RKO wanting in on that action.

So, here we are! I guess.

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Night of the Creeps (1986)

Happy Halloween, jerks!

That’s right, guys, gals, and enby pals. It’s my favorite time of the year. There’s something to that time of the year in which things get a little grayer, a little colder, a little more rainy, and the smell of decomposing leaves filling the air. It just makes everything a little creepier and a little more fun. It all culminates with today, the spookiest day of the year – Halloween!

Unless you’re in the Southern Hemisphere. It may still be Halloween for you, but it’s also spring and things are coming to life instead of dying off.

But, hey! That actually kind of fits today’s featured movie, 1986’s Night of the Creeps! I’ll come back around to that in just a moment. First, let’s talk about Halloween as a tradition in these parts. Way back in the very early days of B-Movie Enema, the final Friday of 2014 was Halloween and that saw the release of the bottom of the barrel Jess Franco Oasis of the Zombies article. Then, in 2016, I did an impromptu Halloween special article after watching the infuriating Halloween: Resurrection. In 2017, it was another trip to the Halloween franchise with Halloween III: Season of the Witch. I cheated a bit in 2018 and gave Halloween day to Film Seizure was covered the new Halloween movie that came out that year, so on the 30th, I did the remake of Night of the Demons just days after doing the original. In 2019, it was the rock and roll horror Trick or Treat. Last year, it was the conclusion of of a very personal set of movies when I covered The Slumber Party Massacre.

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