TNT Jackson – she’ll put you in traction! This episode of B-Movie Enema goes for the death blow with Jean Bell as Diana Jackson! It’s kung fu blaxploitation at its finest!
Sometimes you just need kung fu girls fighting a drug ring in their school.
That’s what what we have this week – Lovely But Deadly. The film was made by David Sheldon, and he’s had a pretty good, long career as mostly a producer or executive. This is only one of three movies he directed (one of which he was not credited for), but he does have some pretty good writing and producing credits worth mentioning. To start, he wrote the movie Grizzly, and its long-to-finish-sequel Grizzly II: Revenge. He’s been involved with the films Abby, Devil Times Five, Sheba, Baby, The Evil, The Manitou, Dr. Phibes Rises Again, and a whole slew of blaxploitation flicks. Dude got around, but mostly got around the behind the scenes side of things as he doesn’t actually have a lot of actual on-screen credits.
Sure, many of his movies deal with animals having enough of our shit as human beings. This time around though, he decides to take it back to school with a tale of a cheerleader, nicknamed “Lovely”, who decides to go undercover to expose a drug ring after her brother overdoses and a bunch of kids get hooked on the junk. Also, she knows kung fu. I cannot emphasize that enough. Continue reading “Lovely But Deadly (1981)”
Oh boy, I’m pretty excited for this one.
Back in June, I attended PopCon here in Indianapolis, and this guy had a table full of posters of various sizes. He had this stack of lobby posters that he was selling for five bucks each. It’s in this stack that I found a Goldengirl poster to gift to Brad Jones, the Cinema Snob, himself, and I also found one for this movie… Chinese Hercules.
This marks the return of Bolo Yeung, billed in this movie as Yang Sze, who appeared in The Clones of Bruce Lee that I covered back in August. Bolo wasn’t just a martial artist and actor, but he was also a bodybuilder. That probably is why 1) he’s often portrayed as a giant beast and 2) is Chinese Hercules. Continue reading “Chinese Hercules (1973)”
Here’s a first for B-Movie Enema… I’ve been personally asked to cover a movie. More on that shortly.
I’m returning to the realm of Bruceploitation with The Clones of Bruce Lee from 1980. Now… I was burned previously, but I have a good feeling about this one. I mean take a look at the trailer! It’s got a whole mess of Bruce Lee wannabes. Heh… Say that out loud – “Bruce Lee wannabe”. It’s fun.
Sigh… I do have fun.
Anyway, I’m getting distracted. Let me get back on track here. Much like all other Bruceploitation flicks, this centers heavily around the tragic, real life death of Bruce Lee in 1973. After he died, science did some stuff and now there’s a trio of Bruces to fuck up the world… because… erm… SCIENCE! Continue reading “The Clones of Bruce Lee (1980)”
12 ASSASSINS FROM HELL WITH ONE OBJECTIVE:
Whoa… Who is Bruce and why is he such an asshole that you need demon assassins from hell to take him out?
Oh boy, that’s question that has answers that is weird and interesting in its own right. Shit, I could write an entire article on the whole idea of “Bruceploitation” alone and never once start this movie. The explanation of why Bruce needs to be killed and what the title even means begins with the greatest martial arts star in the whole world: Bruce Lee. Continue reading “The Dragon Lives Again (aka Deadly Hands of Kung Fu, 1977)”
Okay. Admittedly, last week was a bit of a blunder in my Blue March theme month here at B-Movie Enema. However, can this week’s feature, Oriental Blue, do better? Can it improve upon the cockamamie doody bullfuck that was The Vixens of Kung Fu?
Well… I mean it kinda has to right? Right? Yes, it is made by the same guy, Bill Milling. Yes, it’s Asian-themed. Yes, there seems to be some form of prostitution afoot. But I can say it is a full 15 minutes longer. That has to mean something, right?
We’ve got two more weeks for Blue March and you know what we need? A vacation. Let’s head out to the mystical Orient to get some eastern eroticism.
We start by first checking in with The Vixens of Kung Fu.
Gee. I wonder why this one appeals to me. Vixens. Kung Fu. Yup, the math checks out. But it’s not only that, but it also has some sweet, sweet revenge. The movie is about a young prostitute getting brutally assaulted. She runs away and finds a secret group of hot ass kung fu masters. They train her and she gets her revenge all in a real tidy 70-minute package.
Oh no… I may have pushed this luck with the kung fu and martial arts movies one week too far.
This… is Kung Fu Brother. You know you’re in troubling waters when the following things can be said about your movie:
1. There is a discrepancy in the release date: Amazon says 2016, IMDb says 2014.
2. IMDb’s cumulative score for the movie is a whopping 2.7/10
3. Ron Hall, star of Vampire Assassin, is in your movie. You can find reviews of this here and here.
4. The guy on your DVD cover looks like he just literally lept out of the N64 game Goldeneye and is kicking you with his gross bare foot. Continue reading “Kung Fu Brother (2016)”