Supervixens (1975)

Ah, yeah… Russ Meyer.

It’s been a long time coming to bring ol’ uncle Russ back to the blog. I know next year we need to do a lot more, but for this week, I’m going to take a look at 1975’s Supervixens. The star of this film is the boobtacular Shari Eubank. She appeared in two films in her career. This one and Chesty Anderson, USN. I… I just looked at the poster for that Chesty Anderson flick. I need to see it. Also, it saddens me that she was only in two movies because she is beautiful and incredibly likable in this movie.

Anyway, the origin of this movie came from Meyer’s previous two films, the much more serious The Seven Minutes and the blaxploitation Blacksnake (look for that come to the blog, say, oh, September 2023), were box office failures. It was at this point in time that you had to go back to 1970’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls for Meyer’s last hit. On top of that, he wanted to make a movie with his then wife, Edy Williams, but that fell apart. Yet another thing that came along was a Supreme Court decision coming down about pornography that was confusing and created a little chaos at the time.

The point is Meyer was having a hard time of it in the first half of the 70s.

So, you know what? Nothing solves a confusing time than going back to basics. What’s back to basics for Russ Meyer? Big titties, action, comedy, and sensational sex! And here you are. Supervixens. His comment was this:

“There’s a new chick every ten minutes, and each chick is more outrageously constructed than the next!”

This guy gets it, Enemaniacs. It’s true that some people would look down at Russ Meyer’s ways and claim he was exploiting people and so forth. I can see it now. Just show someone who is terminally on Twitter (by the way, if you are on Twitter, follow B-Movie Enema! At least while there still is a Twitter!) the cover of a Russ Meyer film, particularly Supervixens or Up! and I bet you’d get a thesis about how ridiculous and wrong it is. However, for the most part, Russ Meyer usually exclusively placed women in lead roles, with all the sexual power, and they live in this hypersexualized world where the primary goal is to get laid.

That often leads to parody and light-hearted winking to the audience. Sometimes that can be cringey. However, Russ Meyer was an aficionado of the female form. Sure, I’m going to guess he’d say things some people would find uncouth. But I’ve never heard of any instance in which he sexually harassed anyone. He famously never employed the so-called “casting couch” or asked for sex from his actresses.

Before we get into this movie, I should also state that Meyer said this movie was a little autobiographical but also borrowed from a number of people he knew too. I… I wonder how awesome his life was if he was constantly surrounded by this many inches of tit. Meyer was also heavily influenced by Horatio Alger. Alger’s stories were always about a young man who was totally good but he had to always come up against terrible people in the course of gaining his fortune. Horatio Alger and autobiographical and giant breasts… God, I love Russ Meyer.

SuperAngel (one of two parts played by Shari Eubank) calling Clint at work to tell him the pussy needs fed.

Our movie begins with a rousing march as a tow truck carrying a VW Bug travels through the desert and a gigantic cast scrolls by us. This tow truck driver, Martin, gets a call from “SuperAngel” on the pay phone. She wants to talk to one of the employees there, Clint. Now, while SuperAngel was looking for Clint to tell him that they are out of cat food and she’s not dressed to go to the store to get more, Clint was helping a girl who might need a little bit of oil added to her engine. I’m sure there’s a “dipstick” joke here somewhere that I’m missing, but anyway… SuperAngel is just lounging around in the nude. The customer is also incredibly busty and hot as well.

I guess the thesis statement of this first scene is: Everybody wants to fuck Clint.

SuperLorna (Christy Hartburg)

So while Clint is massively fuckable, SuperAngel is hypersexualized and incredibly jealous. The moment she hears SuperLorna asking for paper towels in the bathroom, she flips out. She suspects Clint has been balling this other girl. SuperAngel, for as incredibly sexy as she is, is a very bad person. She’s not nice to Martin. She cusses like a sailor, and hilariously so. She threatens Martin to let Clint go home or she’s going to burn down her and Clint’s home.

Martin, being a German immigrant, calls SuperAngel “der Fuhrer.”

Clint hurries home to give SuperAngel a piece of his mind. What’s with all this jealousy? What’s with calling him at work all the time? Why with the threats? But, honestly, can you be mad at a face like this for very long?

The answer is no.

As he lays into her, she just looks at him with a playful pout. However, she decides to go in for the kill, so to speak. She follows Clint around the bedroom and grabs him by the dick, takes off her panties, and unzips his jeans to pull his cock out to get what she wants. After both get to climax, she turns on him and asks about the girl she thinks he’s fucking on the side. He starts yelling at him and slapping him.

He tells her he’s done and leaves to drive off. She goes ape shit. She throws a cinder block into the truck’s windshield. She then grabs the axe and starts chopping his truck up. All the while, their neighbor watches. That neighbor calls the cops and tells them he’s trying to kill her. SuperAngel may be smoking hot with all sorts of boob, but, guys, she’s a bad one.

The cop shows up and he’s a real hard ass. He knocks Clint out with his baton. SuperAngel is taken to the hospital to be cared for. The cop comes back into the house to deal with Clint. The cop is friend of Russ Meyer, Charles Napier.

The cop’s name is Harry Sledge. He tells Clint that he’s gotta watch his temper. He says that SuperAngel is at the hospital to chill out. He recognizes Clint from the service station. Harry goes to the hospital to check on SuperAngel and finds out she’s not married to Clint, but he also knows that she was the aggressor and not him. Either way, he’s not exactly unwilling to get to know SuperAngel a little better.

Clint goes home after work, and SuperAngel tells him to beat cheeks… but… wait. Not her cheeks. The bricks…. Hit the bricks. Anyway, SuperAngel is entertaining Harry. She decides to give him (and by extension, us) a little show and striptease.

Goddamn I love Russ Meyer’s movies.

While SuperAngel fucks Harry, Clint goes to the bar to get a drink. There, he chats with SuperHaji (played, appropriately by Haji). She doesn’t wear clothes at work. She just wears meticulously placed pasties. She suggests that Clint come over when she gets off in a couple hours. He declines by telling her that SuperAngel’s tits are bigger than hers and pissing her off.

Duuuude, not smart.

Back at SuperAngel’s place, she’s all ready for Harry, but he’s not ready for her. He’s not able to get it up. She thinks if she goes down on him, Harry’ll be ready for her. Harry says he doesn’t cotton to that “gay shit”. SuperAngel is not one to take rejection lightly. She tells him that he’s got all those muscles but the one that is most important and tells him to beat cheeks… er… Not her cheeks. You know… hit the bricks.

You get it.

Well, things get a little ugly between Harry and SuperAngel. She continues to belittle him. First, he says that he’ll be back tomorrow. She throws her drink on him and asks how he even knows he will be able to get it up tomorrow. She then says that she’ll find her old man and win him back. After all, he’s younger and much more of a stud than Harry is. She wants him out of there before she calls the cops and then laughs at that over the thought of calling the pigs on a pig.

He then sucker punches her in the gut. He says he’ll leave when he’s good and ready to leave and threatening him was a bad idea. She tries to pull the phone to the floor so she can call for help, but he kicks the phone away. He puts black leather gloves on. That’s probably not a good sign in a movie like this. She tries to fight by throwing lamps and all sorts of shit at him. Eventually, she tries to barricade herself in the bedroom and the bathroom, but her constant taunting causes him bust into the locked bathroom, stomp on her in the tub where she planned to take a bath and probably continue her taunts, and then he tosses her radio into the tub to make sure she is dead. He burns the house down.

This is a particularly brutal and terrifying scene. It’s especially done in stark contrast to how Meyer had set up the first 20+ minutes. Even if SuperAngel was a really bad person, she shouldn’t have been murdered like this. It’s downright visceral in how Harry changes on a dime from being this kind of self-important, cocky (no pun intended), supposed ladies man to this brutal killer and calmly angry person. At times, Meyer played with horror or thriller aspects, but we don’t often see someone truly brutalized like Shari Eubank is in this scene. It’s a rough scene that is kind of hard to watch, especially because the movie was light-hearted and kind of cheeky.

After SuperAngel’s house is burned down, Martin finds Clint at the bar, passed out. Martin suspects that after she beat him, Clint went back and got revenge on her for it and killed her. He asks SuperHaji to corroborate his alibi, but she, too, is looking for revenge on Clint for saying her tits are smaller than SuperAngel’s. Martin gives Clint all the money he has, 103 bucks, and drops him off out of town to stay gone and out of trouble.

Clint thumbs it and is instantly picked up by a guy headed west. He drops Clint off and it’s time to find another ride. When the music gets a little smooth, sexy and have you, it’s time for John LaZar and his girlfriend SuperCherry (played by Colleen Brennan). I would 100% take a ride from John LaZar. I’ve never seen a movie that he’s in that he wasn’t fucking awesome.

SuperCherry ain’t so bad either.

SuperCherry immediately talks about how she came in the shower that morning without even touching herself. She then starts rubbing her tits. Then, she sticks her hand in Clint’s pants and starts jerking him off. He’s… he’s not into this. This is turning out to be a really weird day for him. He asks to be dropped off. Then, John LaZar punches Clint for turning down what SuperCherry is offering him. They start fighting and she jumps in to kick Clint in the dick. They go to steal the money on him, but a snake bites John LaZar that causes them to run off and leave Clint on the side of the road while they try to get to a doctor.

Another guy driving the opposite direction picks Clint up to help him. The old timer in this car is headed to his farm on the edge of the desert. Directionally, I am a little confused. Clint says he’s headed west. This guy was going in the opposite direction that he was going, but then Clint tells him he is going west, and the farmer is more than happy to drive him 90 miles to his farm. So… is that west? Eh… who knows. Besides, how far west can Clint go? I assume he’s already in California?

Is it possible, albeit unlikely, that I’m overthinking a Russ Meyer masterpiece?

Either way, the farmer is kind of awesome. He brings Clint somewhere he can rest and so forth. He even tosses him a beer to unwind. He also has an “Austrian mail-order bride” that he calls Soul because her real name was too hard for him to pronounce. Guess what…

SuperSoul (played by Uschi Digard) is massively stacked.

I bet you didn’t see that coming. Also, SuperSoul takes one look at Clint, checks out his package, and immediately gets ideas. The farmer asks her to tend to Clint’s wounds. She basically does so while her tits are just right there in his face. After dinner, he listens to the farmer and SuperSoul fuck like crazy. Then, a knock comes to his door…

Or I should say knockers come to his door. It’s SuperSoul and she tackles Clint to fuck his brains out too. He has to throw her out of his room. The next day, SuperSoul and the farmer fuck all over the place while Clint does some chores for the old man. Clint does get paid for his work, but he plans to head out soon. However, before he’s done, the farmer asks Clint to pitch some hay. SuperSoul is milking the cow in the barn as well. She WILL have that Clint dick no matter what she has to do to get it. She tackles him and Clint begs her to stop because the farmer is just outside digging post holes. She jumps on him, unzips his pants, slaps him around with her tits, it’s a whole ordeal. Poor Clint. Especially poor Clint because the farmer discovers them screwing around. The farmer is, understandably, pissed off that this guy he helped out repays him by fucking his Austrian wife.

Clint has to beat a hasty retreat from the farm and back out onto the county road. Luckily, a car is passing by and he’s able to hop in and take off. The farmer deals with his wife by punching her and demanding she make him dinner. He falls off the ladder in the barn and gets the pitchfork stuck in his ass.

Clint shows up at a motel and gets a room for the night. The motel’s owner has a precocious (and black – I’m not even going to try to figure that out because the old man running the motel is so white even his hair is white) daughter who likes to dance around in a bikini. Guess what, folks?

Yup. She’s hot. Interestingly, this girl, named SuperEula, is a deaf-mute. Her father, tells Clint that anyone who would harm a single hair on her head, or take advantage of her disability, will answer to his pistol.

The moment daddy leaves, she goes to Clint’s room and asks for help to get her dune buggy started. I should mention that she flooded it herself to talk to Clint. He gets it started. She then asks him to go for a ride with her. He turns her down, but she she says that her father won’t be home for three hours.

Smash cut to Clint driving her buggy around while she’s in the back tits out and just having the grandest of times.

SuperEula goes nude sunbathing and Clint realizes her father is closing in on where they are currently hanging out. This is trouble. This is BIG trouble. Clint was already told that the old man will use a gun on anyone who messes with his daughter. This could very easily be seen as “messing with his daughter”. It should also be mentioned that she’s played by Deborah McGuire. Shortly after this movie, she would meet Richard Pryor and be married to him for a short time.

Clint and SuperEula are able to take off just in time before her dad and the sheriff catch up to them. That means that he needs to leave town again. He flags a guy down and and gets a ride to escape SuperEula’s father. Once they cross the county line, the sheriff riding with the old man can’t follow. Again, Clint is on the side of the road looking for another kind passerby to take him to the next place.

I think this movie is something like the Odyssey. Clint is trying to find freedom or someplace he can call home. He’s going from adventure to adventure and escaping trouble at every turn. Meanwhile, as he approaches a service station and diner called “SuperVixen’s Oasis”, the top of a nearby rock formation sparks and we see the bloodied visage of SuperAngel watching Clint. She smiles as she sees him going to this diner. He’s bumped into by a lovely lady in white, SuperVixen, who also happens to look JUST like SuperAngel, but with a much, much sunnier disposition.

Shari Eubank is absolutely gorgeous. She’s completely radiant in this movie. Even when she was SuperAngel, she had a face you couldn’t hate. I think, to a certain extent, it makes all the stuff earlier with Charles Napier so much harder to watch. Yes, it was already a brutal scene, but she’s so pretty, and so sexy, you don’t want to see her get beat up, stomped, bloodied, and electrocuted. Her smile is incredible. Again, even when that smile is used in a really nasty way like she would as SuperAngel, it’s just a smile that can make your heart stop dead in its rhythm.

Anyway, this obviously in-over-her-head owner of this “Oasis” is also feeling a little flutter in her heart watching Clint, who used to be a gas station man himself, doing his thing. She finally has the help she’s needed for a long time. I’m guessing SuperVixen’s Oasis is as busy as it is because SuperVixen is as hot as she is.

Sadly, she doesn’t realize that Clint has left for his next stop down the road. She chases after him. She tells him how her husband died in Vietnam and left her with the station. She needs help because the last employee she had was a boozer and split on her unexpectedly. She’d pay him well and give him a place to bed down if he’d just stay a week. In time, they start getting really close and eventually fall in love. They run around the desert, skinny dip next to a waterfall, and all that good stuff. While they get closer and closer, the spirit of SuperAngel, still atop that rock formation thing next to the service station, also gets horny.

However, things are about to get dicey. When Clint returns to home base after helping pull someone out of trouble with a tow truck, we see a familiar station wagon getting gas – the station wagon belonging to copper Harry. Clint takes over servicing Harry’s car for SuperVixen. They don’t immediately recognize each other, but Harry gets the inkling that he’s seen Clint before. Harry gets real buddy-buddy with Clint. He invites him to go fishing the next day.

But it may be that Harry’s up to something no good. He stops off at a blasting site and goes into the bunker and pulls out a heavy bag full of something. After making another stop, he goes to the rock formation that SuperAngel’s ghostly spirit fucks before going to meet up with SuperVixen and Clint at the local bar and dance joint. While they dance and have a good time, Clint notices that Harry looks a little lonely. He asks SuperVixen to ask him to dance with her. She doesn’t like the idea too much. She says Harry gives off a creepy vibe. She eventually relents and asks him, but just like earlier with SuperAngel, Harry says he can’t dance.

Later that night, Clint and SuperVixen fuck while it looks like Harry is deep throating a cigar and laughing maniacally.

The next morning comes and Clint gets ready for his trip to go fishing with Harry. Clint shows up to get Harry, but Harry claims he’s too sick to go fishing. He asks if they can reschedule for the next day. After Clint leaves, Harry goes to a pay phone and calls SuperVixen and tells her that the truck Clint was driving got stuck. Harry calls for Clint to come meet him and if he tries to bring a gun or anything like that, he’ll kill SuperVixen just like he did SuperAngel. Harry takes SuperVixen to the rock formation and carries her up to the top where he chains her down and starts chucking dynamite at Clint.

You know… I’m beginning to think Harry is a little cuckoo.

This whole sequence is completely insane. You have Shari Eubank chained down to the desert while Charles Napier is just flinging dynamite at Charles Pitts playing Clint. It’s almost like an old Nintendo game where you have to try to save your girlfriend from a bad guy. It’s not quite what I expected from a Russ Meyer titty flick.

Trying to figure out how to help Clint defeat Harry, SuperVixen tries to figure out how she can get to this maniac. He off-handedly says that she is backing the wrong guy. So she figures he must dig her. So, she sort of merges a bit with the SuperAngel persona and begins to sweet talk Harry. She says things that we really haven’t heard SuperVixen say before like how Harry has to be hung and how Clint’s just a boy but Harry’s a man and so on.

He does say my favorite line in the entire movie. SuperVixen says she always was into muscled guys. Harry says that he’s built like a brick shithouse. Perfect.

Harry has one last trick up his sleeve in his big bag of war tricks… There’s a long fuse on a single stick of dynamite… placed right between SuperVixen’s legs. Clint is getting close to save her, but Harry has a gun and he’s pretty good at it. So as Clint crawls closer and closer to SuperVixen, Harry is using the gun to first shoot him in the leg and then shoot the ground in front of him to impede his progress toward SuperVixen.

Clint gets real close to being able to dive for the fuse, but Harry hits him in the chest. When Harry has to fix his jammed gun, Clint can get to the fuse, but he gets a knife in the other leg he wasn’t shot in. Harry comes down to punch Clint out after calling him pussy-whipped. He stacks Clint on top of SuperVixen and sticks the dynamite between Clint’s ass cheeks.

But…

Turns out the stick was a dud. It wasn’t Harry’s plans. It just didn’t work out the way he planned. He picks up the stick of dynamite and takes it with him back to his bag of weapons. The stick suddenly reignites and blows Harry to bits. Clint and SuperVixen fuck like rabbits in the desert and live happily ever after.

Supervixens, I thought, was going to be a silly sex comedy. That’s what I had in my mind when I see giant jugs on a movie poster. It’s maybe what I kind of want to expect from Russ Meyer. While, yes, he does stuff like that, he also does legitimate satires and decent drama. If we think about what I mentioned previously that the last movie to be a success for him prior to Supervixens was Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, there’s a bit of familial bond between the two movies. It’s got good looking women, some laughs, some fun sex stuff, but also some legitimate thriller elements. It’s like if you added a little bit of Up! to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, you get Supervixens.

This one is among the very best of what Russ Meyer does. Also, it has the added advantage of also having Shari Eubank in it and woo boy! She’s not just a super vixen… she’s super swell.

We’re at the end of this week’s review, but, fear not, Enemaniacs, I’m back next Friday with another fun one that involves science fiction time travel and western action. Plus! I get to talk about one of my very favoritest topics ever, the Monkees! Join me while I take a look at 1982’s Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann!

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