Welcome to B-Movie Enema, my dear Enemaniacs! This week, we’re going to get back to a series I started back in summer of 2020 when I looked at the first of SIX Vice Academy movies. We had some fun times with the lovely ladies of the academy as they certainly put the bust in busting bad guys. Considering it’s been almost three years since doing that movie, and this month is all about catching up with some old friends in sequels to movies I’ve covered before, it was high time I go back to the Rick Sloane series. So, here we are with Vice Academy Part 2 released the very next year after the first movie’s release.

I know I talked a little bit about Rick Sloane in the first Vice Academy movie, but I kind of want to swing back around to him for this second movie. There really are only three things Sloane has done stuff with in his life. Of course, maybe his longest running gig was cranking out these six Vice Academy flicks. His next most recognizable thing were two Hobgoblins movies. I talked last time about how that was mercilessly riffed by Mystery Science Theater 3000 in one of my all time favorite episodes of that series. Since then, alumni of MST3K riffed it again at a life Rifftrax event that was also pretty great.

Interestingly, while Sloane did make other movies here or there, he has a major passion for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He grew up during the explosion of that film becoming the all time kin… er, queen(?) of cult flicks. When he was still fairly young, he worked with 20th Century Fox to help promote The Rocky Horror Picture Show while also producing some silly grindhouse-style shorts cut like trailers. He showed those during a Rocky Horror convention in Southern California. That also coincided with the promotional push for the sequel, Shock Treatment.

Anyway, there’s a little more I’ll talk about with Sloane in a couple weeks when we get to the third installment in a couple weeks. Real quick, let’s do a real quick recap of the first film. Linnea Quigley and Ginger Lynn are rivals at the titular vice academy. Lynn is more of a goody two-shoes constantly trying to stand out. Quigley is kind of her typical bad girl who cuts corners to get results. Eventually, Quigley (Didi to you, mister) works with another kind of outsider, Shawnee (played by Karen Russell), to help bust a porno ring before then moving on to bring down the evil Queen Bee who ran a drug and prostitution ring. Everyone graduates and a year later comes a sequel.

So let’s find out if ACAB really means All Cops Are Babes in Vice Academy Part 2!

The movie starts off with Ginger Lynn talking directly to us and saying that she learned that we (the viewers) wanted more sexuality in Vice Academy 2 and she said she didn’t have any problem with that. We then see her striding down the street to bust a hooker selling her ass. By the way Ginger Lynn is dressed, I agree that she doesn’t have any problem upping the sexy. She talks to that hooker and her cover’s blown by her walkie talkie going off in her purse. I like that the cops in these movies are more or less idiots. It’s like they barely pull off their jobs without getting killed or screwing up their sting operations.

We then move to a massage parlor where we see everyone’s favorite B-movie Queen of the 80s, Linnea Quigley, moving in on her suspect. She too almost gets her cover blown thanks to a walkie talkie calling for officer backup. At least with Ginger Lynn, we can see she has a walkie talkie in her purse. For Linnea? I sure have a lot of questions about where hers is. Still, she’s quick to cuff her perp thanks to him propositioning her right away for a happy ending.

And by the way… I know this perp. I… I mean, not literally or personally. I know the actor. This guy getting the massage treatment played Road Rash in Hobgoblins. Road Rash was the door man at Club Scum where it was part biker bar, part strip club, part venue for bands and stuff. Lucky guy got a brief rubdown from Linnea Quigley. Double lucky dude gets a date with Linnea’s Didi when she tells him to call her after he posts bail.

Anyway, Didi and Ginger Lynn’s Holly arrive in a big chase for a bad guy who apparently ducked into a warehouse or generic movie action scene factory. The girls nearly blow each other away when they don’t realize they were both called into action. Holly then tells Didi to get lost. These two still have beef with each other. They are even competing over the arrest to look good.

Oddly, the scene is never finished before the credits start. I’m not kidding. They discover a beat cop is there too and they all start arguing over who’s going to take the shot at the bad guy, but the girls accidentally knock out the beat cop. And… That’s it. The credits start and we don’t go back to that setting.

After the credits, the girls get reprimanded for screwing up the arrest and knocking out the cop. Their teacher, Miss Devonshire, stands up for them. The commissioner decides that they need to get a position that is better suited for their talents. Devonshire tells the girls they have two options: work as a team or go deep undercover as prison inmates.

The girls dislike each other just enough to go ahead and be prison inmates. Besides, Holly thinks she can shirk that assignment and stuff Didi into that prison gig thanks to her father being the police chief and wouldn’t likely allow anyone to put her on that assignment. When Devonshire reads a note from Holly’s father telling her that Holly no longer gets any special treatment, they decide that maybe they’ll just work together then. Their teamwork assignment is to work the switchboard with fellow babe Jeannie.

Jeannie is a massive bimbo. While showing Didi and Holly how the switchboard works, she gets a call from a frantic woman needing help because a guy is outside her window. Jeannie tells her if the guy’s cute, get his number for her. Jeannie tells the girls, who are actually kind of shocked that Jeannie sucks at her job, that she likes going on the trucker frequency and dirty talk them. Eventually, Jeannie does eventually send a cop, Petrolino, the beat cop who the girls injured earlier, to help out. But you see… Petrolino isn’t just any ol’ cop. He’s the cop who the girls need to be friendly with to get promotions around the station.

All things considered, our vice babes haven’t made the greatest of first impressions with this fuckboi.

Jeannie has to go down and get some results from the clinic. When Petrolino shows up to where he was dispatched, the guy with the gun causing all the commotion is a little bit of a problem. And by that I mean he charges Petrolino first by shooting at him, then by beating the shit out of him. Petrolino called for backup, but Didi and Holly thought, because he called himself “Big Nightstick” (because he thought he was calling into Jeannie who he fucks on the side – gosh, this is a fairly complicated first 20 minutes of the movie!), that they were still on the trucker line and just played along like it was all a sex thing.

When he gets back to the station and see Holly and Didi working the switchboard, this gets the girls in trouble. Holly says they were just doing what Jeannie told them to do. When they find out Petrolino is Big Nightstick, they, again, get reprimanded. Petrolino says he wants the girls fired and he doesn’t like women on the force. Again, Devonshire saves their asses by having the commish head off to an engagement he was supposed to be speaking.

There’s a guy in the station replacing the jugs for the water coolers who’s kind of a weirdo. But actually, he works for a lady who wears black vinyl and the biggest of 80s tulle bows on her head. She had him replace the water with some that’s laced with Spanish Fly. The first “victim” of this laced water? Miss Devonshire.

It kicks in pretty quickly. Devonshire goes to the assembly where she’s supposed to introduce Didi and Holly as the newest officers at the station. She basically acts a little tipsy and keeps asking if it’s hot in the room. Before she can have Didi and Holly take the podium, she rips her shirt and jacket off and dances around. Holly suggests Didi go get her some water to help her feel better. Our vinyl clad villainess patches into the station’s speakers and tells them she tainted the water with Spanish Fly. If they don’t pay her ransom, she will taint the entire water supply of the city.

So, our bad lady is actually also called Spanish Fly. She’s like a fucking Batman villainess and it’s great. Anyway, Devonshire has known about Spanish Fly for a long time. She says that the rumor is Spanish Fly’s hideout is in the basement of the sleaziest club in town – the Vicerama. Devonshire says she wants Didi and Holly to go get jobs there and work undercover.

As soon as they walk in, they see the Help Wanted sign. They’re approached by Spanish Fly’s goon, uh, Portuguese Mosquito? Anyway, Didi tells him they’re there to apply for the job openings. Because they are Ginger Lynn and Linnea Quigley, they instantly get the interviews. Uh oh, though… There is only one job opening so the girls will have to be in direct competition again.

i don’t think I really brought this up too much during the review of the first entry, but I kind of like the difference in personalities between Quigley and Lynn’s personas. Ginger Lynn was one of the more notable 80s adult film stars. She plays the “good girl” of the duo. She’s less likely to partake in a sex scene or take off her clothes as quickly as her co-star. Linnea Quigley is doing typical Linnea Quigley things. She’s being snarky. She says and does things that either ingratiates herself to guys watching the movie or leaning hard on the male fantasy type of stuff. She lends to much more of the silly and sexy side of the movie. Lynn is much more the “straight man” to Quigley. Think of Ginger Lynn as almost the Abbott to Linnea Quigley’s Costello.

Anyway, neither girl gets the job at Vicerama. It’s not for a lack of trying to sex themselves up to be a waitress or dancer or whatever it is they think they are supposed to be here. It’s actually because the job opening is for the bookkeeper. So, with their jobs on the line, the girls decide to independently hit on Petrolino.

Didi is the first to arrive for a date at Petrolino’s house. He wants her to wear a sparkly green thong, but she bolts after overhearing a message from Jeannie about how she left her sparkly green thong at his place when she left just before Didi arrived. Holly arrives early shortly after Didi left to, as she told him, go to the hospital to have a severe conniption fit.

Now, remember that I said it’s kind of interesting in these movies that Lynn is playing the “good girl” of the duo?

Va-va-varoom, Holly is not fucking around! She freshens up and decides to go forward with seducing Petrolino. She prays for this to not last long and for her to pretend he is someone, anyone, else. Just as they get started, Petrolino gets a call from a familiar name… Shawnee. He tells her to come over in an hour after he finishes up with something “not very important” that he’s doing now. This pisses Holly off and she storms out.

The next morning, in the bathroom, Jeannie tells Holly and Didi about how Petrolino told all the cops he had a three way with the girls. They go over to the men’s locker room where they hear him telling a couple other cops about what they did together the night before. The girls barge into the locker room and rip Petrolino’s towel off him and laugh at his tiny dick and then embarrass him in front of his pals when Holly knocks him out after he threatens to punch her.

We’re two-thirds through this movie and there’s not, like, a plot? It’s kind of wild how fast this movie is flying by. We had a cold opening for a busted bust. We had shenanigans on the switchboard. We have fun poking at Petrolino’s little poker.

We finally get back to Spanish Fly’s storyline. She’s got a map in her headquarters with all the strategic points to taint the water supply of the country. Time is running short on her $20 million dollar ransom. After Devonshire kind of happens upon the exact location of Spanish Fly’s hideout, the commissioner says that he doesn’t think Didi and Holly has a place on the force. He can’t risk any further mistakes on this case. So, to solve this issue, what does the commissioner decide to do? You ain’t gonna believe this…

He unveils the future of law enforcement – BIMBOCOP!

Now, waitaminute… Movie, you had me with bumbling cops. I was along for the ride with the switchboard being used for both phone sex-like chit chat with truckers and those pesky actual real police calls. I am 100% on board for a comic book style villain like Spanish Fly. I’m even cool with the dick cop with the tiny prick who apparently has a date every hour he’s not on the job. But BimboCop? Really?

It’s like I’m watching a Rick Sloane mov… Oh. Wait.

Okay, that’s fucking funny. I’m always up for a headlock/punch combo. Anyway, BimboCop gets a test run and performs admirably. In fact, she’s so efficient with handling the switchboard, it gets Jeannie fired. To get revenge on her replacement, Jeannie sets BimboCop’s settings to “Worthless”.

The commissioner plans to use that now worthless BimboCop (now? now worthless?) to raid Vicerama in about an hour. So, before the robot that will replace them as well can get there, Didi and Holly go back to Vicerama and deliver a “strippergram” so they can stick around in the sleaze bar to find Spanish Fly before the rest of the cops do.

Now this is what we come to Vice Academy for. It’s kind of interesting how sloppy this scene is. In fact, up to this point, there has been only a brief moment of topless nudity where Spanish Fly’s goon barged in on the regular dancers at Vicerama. This scene starts off kind of awkwardly. You’d think that with Ginger Lynn and Linnea Quigley about to perform a strip act, that this would, more or less, blow every guy’s pants apart in a gooey kablooey. But it’s awkward, man. Quigley knows what she’s doing. Lynn constantly is looking to Quigley to figure out what the hell she’s doing before she does anything. Yes, eventually, they both go topless, but it’s also very obviously cut in a way that this makes an easy edit for USA to play the movie on Up All Night.

When Miss Devonshire happens to walk into Vicerama (she explains she was the one who was able to get the undercover job as the bookkeeper), the girls are, again, holding their bras over their breasts. So you can see where the cut can be for a TV release. It just makes the whole damn scene weird and, in a situation in which this should have been the sexiest moment in the entire movie, with two incredible babes doing what every teenage guy who stumbles upon this on late night Cinemax dreams of, it comes off, somehow, utterly unsexy and poorly shot and planned out.

But I digress.

The goon knows that the three women are cops so he’s easily able to capture them with the help of the two dancers at Vicerama, Felatia and Aphrodite. Later, Petrolino comes in to scope the place out. He instantly gets found out by Felatia and Aphrodite. The girls have Petrolino undress and they chain him up in Spanish Fly’s sex dungeon.

Spanish Fly has a plan for our three captured ladies. She has a jar of a new concoction – Spanish Fly in its purest form. She says that one dose will kill a person from ecstasy. She gives a sip to Didi and she does have a pretty powerful orgasm, but it’s Didi. It doesn’t have the effect Spanish Fly thought it would on someone that experienced in sex.

Before a more potent dose can be given to Didi, BimboCop comes in. Devonshire says Spanish Fly is going to meet her maker, but har dee har har… BimboCop is still set to Worthless. So she instantly gets caught again. Didi notices the control belt on BimboCop has been fucked about with, so she fixes it. BimboCop busts free and frees the other three girls. BimboCop goes to work and wipes out Spanish Fly’s goon and dancers. She then takes down Spanish Fly.

Didi and Holly agree to free Petrolino from his chains if he takes back wanting them fired. He also has to agree that women can be just as good cops as guys can be. On top of that, before they get honored with Devonshire and BimboCop, Didi tells the guys in the locker room all the details of how Petrolino wasn’t just captured by Spanish Fly, but was also unable to get it up when she wanted to play with her prisoner.

To wrap things up, BimboCop explodes thanks to Holly setting the robot’s control belt to Overload. Holly sees this as a chance to get a reward from bringing down Spanish Fly. The movie ends with Didi getting the reward for a job well done while Miss Devonshire leads Holly out to get reprimanded for blowing up BimboCop. I guess they throw Holly into jail to get butt raped by her cellmate because that’s how the movie ends.

While the first Vice Academy was hardly a masterpiece or even, um, cinema, Vice Academy Part 2 is pretty damn bad. The first movie had a consistent and coherent plot. Lady cops trying to make it to the force and they go on bumbling, yet kind of fun, various assignments that eventually lead to them graduating. This movie has about 20 minutes of plot and fills the rest of the 70 minutes of movie with a bunch of filler and distraction.

What’s kind of hilarious is that I can’t sit here and say that it has bad pacing or poor tonal issues. It’s a fairly fast-paced movie and the comedy and goofiness sticks and stays consistent. I like Ginger Lynn, and I really like Linnea Quigley. I can understand giving the first 20 or so minutes over to the girls trying to fit in on the force. Then you have the whole thing with Spanish Fly come into the movie and let them then maybe stumble upon some clues or situations that help them make the final bust. You can have the Petrolino guy be a thorn in their sides, but limit that or don’t make him out to be such a douche.

But, for the love of god, man… How on Earth are you going to have BimboCop be the ultimate hero at the end? You can have BimboCop as a foil for our main characters. But Didi and Holly need to be the ones who bring down Spanish Fly. Period. End of story.

We’ll jump into the third entry in a couple weeks. We’ll be doing that without Linnea Quigley, though. We still have Ginger Lynn for that next entry, for the last time, but Linnea gets replaced by Elizabeth Kaitan. We know her from other movies covered here, but we’ll talk about that in two weeks. Before then, we have some bird issues. We also need to check in on another series I’ve covered on the blog through the years too. Join me next week as B-Movie Enema takes flight for Zombie 5: Killing Birds!