This week’s B-Movie Enema review gets… biblical?

Eh, sure. Anyway, not long back, I covered The Toxic Avenger Part II, the long-awaited sequel to the smash Troma hit from 1984. Filmed at the same time was a second sequel, and the topic of this week’s review, The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie. That title should give a hint to a couple of things in this movie. First, Toxie is going to be tempted by a deal with the devil, specifically the devil that Toxie knows – Apocalypse, Inc. Second, I think the title was likely inspired not just from the 1988 Martin Scorsese film The Last Temptation of Christ, but probably more by that film’s pop culture popularity while both of these Toxic Avenger sequels were being filmed.

The Last Temptation of Christ wasn’t just a well-reviewed film for Scorsese, but it really was a hot-button topic during late 1988 and early 1989. No foolin’, the film created a BUNCH of controversy. There were terrorist attacks, death threats, and a whole lot of protests from upsetty Christians and Catholics because the film depicted a scene in which Christ, played by Willem Dafoe, and Mary Magdalene, played by Barbara Hershey, consummated their love for one another. When it comes to canonical religious texts, that’s not something the Jesus folk like to hear about. They like to think that the Christ was above earthly passions and/or Magdalene was a whore.

But I definitely digress because I ain’t no religious guy so I can’t speak to too much gospel.

I will at least say that Lloyd Kaufman is most definitely going to take advantage of some sort of higher-brow film taking heat and being pretty controversial. Anyway, as I mentioned, Part II and Part III were filmed at the same time. There is a little bit of confusion around the cost of each movie. Generally speaking, Part II is listed as having a $2.5 million budget. Part III mentions in dialogue that it has a $2 million budget, but, in truth, it only cost $500,000 to make. Now, I believe the deal was that because both sequels were made at the same time, the total cost was the listed Part II budget of $2.5 million. Most of the stunts and other production costs on Part III were already paid up front during the production of Part II. One casualty of Part III, though, was the original Melvin, Mark Torgl. He was invited back to reprise that role he originated, but opted out when there was an issue with payment.

While it is sad we don’t get to see Torgl here, we will see him next time we visit this series, but let’s get into this flick, shall we?

The beginning of the movie takes us back to 1984 when Melvin Junko became the Toxic Avenger. We could nitpick the quality of this movie, the third film in a series, and the second sequel in the same year, but it does do one thing that is helpful for my purposes in this review. It revisited Part II, so it helps me remember what happened in that movie. So, yeah, Melvin, now the Toxic Avenger (or Toxie for short), cleaned up Tromaville in 1984. Then, four years passed, and he got bored. But he came out of superhero retirement to take on Apocalypse, Inc., who attempted to take over Tromaville by sending Toxie over to Japan by tricking him into believing his estranged father was there. Anyway, he defeated all the bad guys, so it’s back to retirement for our favorite radioactive waste accident.

Let’s go to the video store!

The Tromaville video store is hopping. I love the collection of things in that picture. You have the first thing that sticks out – the woman in the bikini. To the best of my knowledge, there is no beach in or around Tromaville, but whatever. We get some skin in the first few minutes. Then, we have a sort of square chunky guy in a suit talking to three honeys about movies. There’s a standee for The Toxic Avenger. I also think most, if not all, of the posters on the wall and windows are Troma movies too. But if we look to the very far right, I think that might be a Rabbi, or at least a Hasidic Jew, dressed sort of like a Long John Silver’s restaurant employee. Even if I’m proven wrong the moment I click play and resume the movie, I cannot care less. I want that guy to be a Hasidic Jew who works at Long John Silver’s.

But all this is to set up an action scene to really get the movie going. You know bad guys are on the way because the grill of their car has sharp teeth on it. Sure enough, this is a gang of bad guys. They all look like crazy punks. They say this is now a “company town” and the only movies that will be available in the movies will be the ones from Apocalypse, Inc. Only the top 20 movies from them will be available for the good people of Tromaville. They shoot a woman in classic Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz style and start shooting all the tapes on the shelves.

What these goons from Apocalypse, Inc. didn’t know is that Toxie arrived at the store to mop them up. He pretends to be the standee for his own movie and then starts attacking all the goons. He punches through one guy’s stomach and rips out his guts. He then uses said guts as a jump rope. He just beats the shit out of the other goons, eventually using the guts from the one guy to strangle another. He shoves his mop’s handle through one of the goon’s heads. He also uses a VCR’s heads to chew up the goon leader’s fingers, hand, and arm.

Oh and he also uses the store’s “Bulk Videotape Eraser” to erase a guy’s face.

But this is actually the return of the Toxic Avenger. He declares that he’s back, but in voice over, he says that this return was after he had forsaken his oath to keep Tromaville and its people safe and happy. He had become… a bad dude. You see, he had lots of things to be excited about. Tromaville was safe. The people seemed to be in high spirits. Apocalypse, Inc. had left them alone. His mother was proud of him, and he was engaged to marry Claire.

But he was 25 years old and started having some serious issues with his identity. He didn’t know who he was or what he was. He was relegated to preventing old ladies from cheating during their regular card games with their old lady friends. Or if kids were not eating their vegetables, he’d swoop in and try to help them learn the importance of those lima beans they would refuse to gobble. This led to him being incredibly insecure. What good was he as a superhero when he couldn’t make money for himself and Claire, and all he was doing was this petty bullshit?

Now we do get a little bit of backstory on Claire and how she was blinded. She was a successful dental hygienist. She used to make lots of money, but a horrible accident involving mouthwash rendered her blind. Since then, they’ve been living on whatever money Melvin could make, which isn’t much, forcing them to live on welfare.

With Toxie in the dumps, Claire, the dutiful girlfriend that she is, tells Melvin that if she could only see again, she would do anything to help him. Well, it just so happens that today’s mail has a letter from an eye doctor talking about a revolutionary procedure that would use the highly advanced Argon laser that can restore her sight. It’s been tested on lab bats, and 50% of them survived the procedure! Claire gets really excited that she can see again, but there’s a big ol’ catch. The procedure costs $357,000. Heartbroken that Claire’s heart is broken, Toxie decides he needs to do something for his Claire, even if that would mean that she would discover what Melvin actually looks like.

Melvin decides to get a job… His first attempt at a job is as a taxman for the I.R.S. However, he lasts exactly five minutes on the job as everyone he goes to speak to at their homes would throw things at him and force him off their property. At Sunday Service, the preacher gives a sermon about not being tempted by evil. After all, Jesus was not swayed by the Devil showing him all that he could have if he only bowed and served the Devil.

Toxie’s depression begins to affect his sleep as he starts having dreams where he’s taunted by the Melvin that he was before turning into the Toxic Avenger. While Toxie knows he’s only having nightmares that aren’t going to hurt him in the real world, he reminds us that there’s an evil company across the bay in New York that is causing REAL nightmares affecting real people.

The Chairman of Apocalypse, Inc. hears from his underlings in a scene that I’m pretty sure is exactly the same one from Part II, but I digress. He says that since being defeated by the Toxic Avenger, Apocalypse, Inc. has been struggling. All these reports are fine or whatever, but what he really wants is the Toxic Avenger. His right-hand babe, Malfaire, suggests they get Toxie on their payroll. So the Chairman has an idea. Claire needs an eye operation. That’s the hook he can bait to get Toxie on their side.

And so, with the Chairman able to dangle the carrot in front of Toxie’s desperate face, he’s easily able to convince our hero that Apocalypse, Inc. really wants to give back to people. He wants to buy up towns and renovate them into something better. Take Tromaville, for example. Sure, Toxie might think Tromaville is perfect the way it is, but the Chairman says it could be so much more. The Chairman wants to hire Toxie as the spokesman for Apocalypse, Inc. He even quotes the bible quote about the Devil wanting Jesus to kneel and serve him, but Toxie can’t place where he heard that quote from.

Besides, he kind of forgets it all when he sees a briefcase full of $357,000 he could use to buy something his girlfriend had her eye on.

And just like that, Toxie signs a contract in his own blood, but he’s able to provide for Claire. Toxie tells his mother about his new job as the Assistant to the Chairman. He says he gets to make special appearances and talk to people. He even has a checkbook with raised numbers for Claire. He’s excited that he can get Claire that operation soon and he can even get his mother that microwave oven she’s been wanting for so long.

On the first day of work, Toxie isn’t so sure about leaving Claire on the day of her operation, but she tells him she is in good hands. So he goes to City Hall as the Chairman is introduced to the people of Tromaville. The Chairman tells the people that they should trust chemicals and the ones that Apocalypse makes and sells. Even though Toxie tries to calm the crowd down to have them listen to the Chairman, because Toxie thinks this guy knows what he’s talking about. He realizes too late that the people of Tromaville aren’t just hostile toward the Chairman, but they are booing him too.

Almost instantly, Apocalypse takes over Tromaville and starts producing its Agent Orange chemicals. They even put kids to work. The Chairman tells Toxie that this is a good thing because they’ll get to make minimum wage. But, generally, the people of the town are all forced to work for them like slaves.

Among Toxie’s jobs are to help usher people into the “Apocalypse, Inc. Self-Improvement Seminars,” and to help evict people from their homes as Apocalypse condemns them. Toxie was blind to all the bad things the Chairman was doing to his hometown, largely because he was so set on helping Claire. Which, I guess, is a pretty damn funny joke considering Claire is blind, and he was trying to help her regain her sight by being blind about his betrayal of Tromaville. You get it. It’s a pretty good juxtaposition.

In another funny twist, after Claire’s operation, she is able to see again, but remember I mentioned that Toxie was concerned about her not liking what he actually looks like? Well, the joke’s on all of us because the first person she sees with her new eyes is the handsome doctor who worked on her. Her reaction? Terrified screams. When she sees Melvin Junko for what he actually looks like, she falls in love with him a second time and is incredibly attracted to him. She even loves the junkyard dump where they live.

So everything is great for Claire, and Toxie’s doing a great job at Apocalypse. He’s helping open new landfills. He’s also climbing the corporate ladder. However, he’s becoming a corpo douchebag too. He’s reading the Wall Street Journal. He’s watching the stock market. He’s saying lingo that Claire doesn’t understand. While Toxie was recruited by the Chairman at Apocalypse, Claire is being recruited by the local environmentalists to help them save the Tromaville Bird Sanctuary. It’s not long, now that Claire can see, before she sees the corruption of her beloved Tromaville.

Claire confronts Toxie about how Apocalypse is seemingly doing evil things and how much differently he is acting. He doesn’t quite understand why she thinks so negatively about Apocalypse. He really doesn’t like it when she tells him she thinks someone is trying to brainwash him. He tells her that he did all this for her so she can see. He leaves after she gives a rousing speech about what is right and good.

Toxie takes a walk and starts to think about what’s happened. When I say he thinks about what happened, I mean he thinks about ALL that has happened. He gets a lot of replay from past scenes in the movie. The key thing he remembers, though, is that thing he couldn’t quite place earlier: where he heard the thing the Chairman said when he was making his pitch to him about working for Apocalypse. That’s when it all comes together for Toxie. He signed a Faustian deal with the Chairman.

He returns home to apologize to Clair and tell her that he plans on fighting Apocalypse, Inc. And, in a bit of a surprise that I wasn’t sure I could expect here, he actually references something from the second movie. He talks about how the sumo wrestlers he hung with for a bit while in Japan taught him that he needs to make the first move since he’s going up against such a formidable opponent.

And that brings us back to the start of the movie. He’s defeated the goons at the video store, and he’s earning back the respect of the good people of Tromaville. He’s helping people again. He’s tearing down the signs hung up by Apocalypse. He’s getting rid of their gross chemicals. He’s even saving puppies out of trees for little kids…

What? Puppies… Trees… Kids? Oh, never mind.

The Chairman reminds Toxie that he has a contract with him. Toxie tells him to cram it and, with the support of the town back on his side, Toxie and Tromaville think they can just tell Apocalypse to beat cheeks, and that will be it. That’s when the Chairman tells Toxie that he is more than just some powerful, rich guy. He reveals his true identity…

The Motherfuckin’ Devil!

Okay, so the Devil crawling out of the Chairman is a pretty awesome moment. Honestly, this has to be one of the most expensive things ever filmed in a Troma picture. But yeah, this isn’t just a metaphorical battle over the soul of Toxie or the possession of a town, it’s, like, totally fuckin’ biblical. Anyway, the Devil gives Toxie the choice of his weapon and arena for their final confrontation.

However, one thing that was mentioned a few different times during the movie is how much Toxie enjoys video games. So, the Devil says that since he likes to play video games so much, that will be the arena. More specifically, it will be the new video game he and Claire played earlier, 5 Levels of Doom. The first level of the game is “Earth.” The Devil opens up the ground to suck Toxie down into it, but he manages to burrow his way back up to poke his head out. Before he can fully pull himself out, a guy with a landscaping machine closes in to cut Toxie’s head off.

The gang from Apocalypse, Inc. thinks they have won, but Toxie catches the blade with his teeth, which moves the game onto level 2 – “Fire.”

The Devil is now on fire and plans on burning Tromaville down. He even shoots fire at Toxie, setting him on fire. Thankfully, the people of Tromaville come to his aid by dousing him with water. They don’t have enough to put the Devil out, but that’s okay. Toxie’s gotta take a piss. So he does. On the Devil.

God, I love Troma movies.

Alright, so onto level 3, “The Level in Which the Devil Fills a School Bus with Children to Endanger Them.” Eh… Whatever. While he drives the bus toward an outdoor festival with slightly older kids from a junior high school, Toxie chases on foot. He’s too late to stop the Devil from creating havoc, but is there to help stop the bus from tumbling over a cliff in what the actual third level’s theme is – “Wind.” He manages to open the back door in time before the bus falls over the cliff, saving the kids.

I’m kind of thinking this video game Toxie’s playing against the Devil is on Easy mode. The bus falls off the cliff and actually falls right onto Malfaire, which causes her legs to roll up like the Wicked Witch of the East in The Wizard of Oz. In front of everyone, the Devil uses his Jedi powers to reconstitute the bus and places himself behind the wheel once again to begin level 4, “Water.”

The plan for this round is to force Toxie onto the hood of the bus and drive him to the world-famous mud bog in Tromaville. When they land in the bog, the bus explodes, making everyone believe that Toxie has perished in the flames. Of course, Toxie’s still alive, and he flips his way out of the water. He tells us this is an old sumo trick whenever they’re plunged into a muddy pool of water.

Thus begins the fifth and final level of doom – “Mind.” Toxie starts to melt and form squirting boils all over his body and face. He oozes green goop all over the place, effectively melting into nothingness. Again, say what you will about this third movie, and I will have more to say shortly, but I cannot argue with the craftsmanship of some of the stuff, like the Devil emerging from the Chairman’s body or a melting Toxic Avenger. This is good-looking stuff.

He literally melts into nothing more than a skull in some really goopy pile of goo in front of the whole town. Soon, he reconstitutes and is returned to his pre-Toxic Avenger version of Melvin. Claire gives Melvin his sumo diaper and reminds him of what those guys taught him in Japan. He rushes the Devil and attempts to make the first move by strangling him.

While the Devil laughs.

When Claire grabs one of the Apocalypse, Inc.’s guys’ guns to rebuke the Devil herself and save Melvin, the Devil strikes Claire blind again. She flees to return home while the Devil celebrates his victory. She looks for the contract that Toxie signed with the Chairman so she can destroy it. She discovers an Escape Clause in the contract, in which an act of God will render it null and void. The Devil claims that God is nowhere in Tromaville to protect his so-called interests. However, a ray of light comes down from heaven and showers Melvin with toxic rain, returning him to the Toxic Avenger and giving Claire’s eyesight back.

The Toxic Avenger kicks the Devil’s ass pretty easily from that point on, and tears his green, goopy skin off, rendering him only a skeleton with rotten insides and a head.

After yeeting the Devil’s head to the fuckin’ stratosphere, causing it to ultimately land in Japan, Tromaville is saved once and for all from the evils of Apocalypse, Inc. Toxie and Claire are now able to go through with their wedding. And, yes, Claire retains her sight. So, there’s a new status quo in Tromaville for whenever we catch up with Toxie in the fourth installment.

I mentioned at the top of this review that this didn’t get very favorable reviews from fans. I dunno if that’s fair. Maybe it isn’t as good as the original or as charming as the second entry, but I actually quite enjoyed this. I can see where, if you were to pick and choose which movie you might want to watch (if you only had time for one), you’d not likely pick Part III. Sure, fine, whatever. However, I don’t think this is one you skip over either, if you plan to watch all of the movies.

And maybe I kind of misunderstood that criticism earlier.

I think there are some very good elements of the movie. For one, there really is an arc that the second one didn’t have. Toxie is tempted and makes mistakes, and has to atone for them. That’s not really present in the last movie. All he did wrong in that movie was take the bait that he had to go to Japan, leaving Tromaville defenseless. This movie probably has the most plot of the three movies thus far.

I mentioned how good some of the practical effects were of the Devil’s design, makeup, and his worming his way out of the Chairman’s skin suit he was wearing. Melting Toxie was great, and it then reversed that by putting him back together as Melvin. All of that looked really good for what you might have come to expect at Troma in 1989. In fact, it’s hard to remember that this is a nearly 40-year-old movie at this point. It looks good all the way around. Okay, maybe some of that is the Blu-ray set that I have and the care put into Troma’s flagship character to release a really nice box set, but still.

Lastly, I really like how much Claire kind of gets to do here. She’s more than just the reason for Toxie to have an arc of his own. She regains her sight and immediately remains as sweet and loving toward Toxie, despite his melted appearance. The first movie portrayed the character a lot differently than the second and third films, but at least here, she’s not entirely the bubble-headed bimbo as she’s kind of played. She really does love Melvin, and she ultimately saves him in the end because she knows what to look for in his contract. So, hey, give it up for Claire in this movie.

If there is something here to criticize is that the movie is way too long. It’s at least ten minutes too long. This movie is a shocking 100 minutes in the runtime department. I feel like that’s longer than any Troma movie really should be. The first film was 82 minutes long. The second, 96 minutes in length. The fourth film is another ten minutes longer than this one, so… I hope it earns that better than this movie does its runtime.

I also feel part of that runtime issue is the fact that this was filmed at the same time as the second, and it wants to replay some stuff. We get a little bit of a recap of a few minutes to tell us what happened in the previous two movies. Then we also have that scene that is basically the same board meeting scene from the last movie. It also led to me being very confused about whether or not Toxie killed those guys in the first one, or if the Devil maybe brought them back, or what. Then again, it’s more Michael Jai White, so that’s cool.

But, still… I had a good time with this and would gladly watch it again. Now, let’s turn our droopy Toxie eye toward next week. It’s a post-apocalyptic future in store for us… I mean for the next movie to be reviewed, not in real life, though that is definitely what we should have to look forward to in real life… Whatever. I mean that next time, I am looking at a 1981 movie entirely inspired by some of the energy crisis stuff that crippled Americans in the 70s and 80s. Join me as we go cruising in Firebird 2015 A.D.

See ya next time, and don’t forget to eat your lima beans or Toxie’s gonna get ya!