Nine Dead (2009)

It’s another Melissa Joan Hart Month review here at B-Movie Enema!

By 2008, our lovely leading lady was married, a mom, and no longer Sabrina the Teenage Witch. For the most part, she was exploring other interests while still doing some TV work in guest appearances, like on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and in TV movies like 2007’s Holiday in Handcuffs. The latter, I suspect, started the work she did with ABC Family on cable and later led to lots of other holiday-themed TV movies. It also probably led to her being cast in 2009 on the main ABC network competition, Dancing with the Stars.

I digress. As part of her more grown-up roles that came after her work as Sabrina Spellman, we have the movie that is getting reviewed this week, 2009’s Nine Dead. Nine Dead was filmed over a few weeks in the summer of 2008. Hart is playing an Assistant District Attorney and has ditched her usual blonde locks for darker hair because she has a dark secret. In fact, everyone in this movie has some dark and serious shit to deal with. After the completion of filming, the movie kind of sat around until New Line Cinema would pick up the distribution rights and get this movie out on DVD and streaming.

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Twisted Desire (1996)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and another entry in our Melissa Joan Hart Month!

This week, we have a staple of the network television movie – true crime. Quite frankly, if you’re curious when there was a time when true crime did not have an audience, the answer was never. Whether it was in books, or those old pamphlets that probably led to Jack the Ripper becoming really famous, or plays, or movies, true crime was always a way for people to rope in some audiences. Later, as networks like ABC, CBS, and NBC were making original movies to air as movies of the week, the 70s saw a lot of movies in the horror and thriller genres. However, as the 80s and 90s came along, most of the famous stuff was either historical epics or salacious true crime.

And salacious true crime is what we have for 1996’s Twisted Desire.

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Backflash (2001)

Welcome to B-Movie Enema, my Enemaniacs.

It’s February. What happens in February? Well, it’s the last month we all have to deal with winter… if you aren’t in places like Miami or, I dunno, Calgary. That’s a good thing. It’s also the month that is basically dominated, at least in the first half of the month, by the lovey-dovey bullshit that is Valentine’s Day. That’s not such a great thing. It’s a Hallmark holiday. You should celebrate love and what have you every day…? Eh. Anyway, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you do get those Conversation Hearts, and that’s a good thing.

But the best part of February is that on February 11, every goddamn year, I turn a year older. I get more and more detached from marketing campaigns. I get more and more gray, in the handsome, distinguished way. I get to have lunch with my dad at one of my favorite restaurants. And I get a lot of messages wishing me a good one. I used to not be a big fan of my birthday, but, dammit, I’ve kinda grown to like it the older I get.

So, for my own birthday, I’m celebrating here at B-Movie Enema with something I’ve been known to do from time to time. I’ve done it for Alyssa Milano, Phoebe Cates, and Jacqueline Lovell. It’s time to do what I’ve should have done a loooooong time ago, and do it for someone I’ve got a very long history with – Melissa Joan Hart. Yes, it’s Melissa Joan Hart Month for February! And we start with her in a supporting role in 2001’s Backflash.

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Petey Wheatstraw (1977)

Black Horror Halloween comes to a close on the greatest day of them all, Halloween!

Welcome to B-Movie Enema, and, brother, do we have a good one to close things out. If you think about it, Ganja & Hess was this artsy kickoff for the month. Then we got into some voodoo business in a movie that is maybe more about the dialogue than anything else. Right in the middle is the movie I will never forget because it had a giant killer dick. Then, last week, I opted for a movie with a strong cast and some good ol’ fashioned spirit possession.

So, how can we possibly finish this month off after all those bangers? With the movie that I promise you is my favorite of the whole month. I think about the artistry that started the month. Now, it’s time for more art. Give it up for the comedy stylings of my main man, Rudy Ray Moore, and the 1977 comedy Petey Wheatstraw!

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J.D.’s Revenge (1976)

Welcome back to another spooktacular review at B-Movie Enema!

This week, we continue our trek through 70s horror from the Black community that I’m calling Black Horror Halloween. I’m also going through these movies in chronological order. So that brings me to 1976 and a movie that has been on the pile to cover for a long time, J.D.’s Revenge, directed by Arthur Marks. I’ve had a copy of the movie from Arrow for years. So, if I’m being as honest as possible, it’s possible to say that J.D.’s Revenge was the origin of this entire theme month.

Some might even go so far as to say that I chose this theme because of last week’s movie and the giant hypnotic, killer dong was the, uh, thrust to my choosing this theme, but I digress.

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Welcome Home Brother Charles (1975)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and spooky month 2025’s theme, Black Horror Halloween!

This week, I’m not entirely sure how much I want to talk about this movie before diving right in. To get this out of the way, I’ll be reviewing 1975’s Welcome Home Brother Charles. Generally speaking, this month was intended to kind of highlight blaxploitation and horror. This movie is probably technically neither. I will talk a little more about what I think the actual horror of this movie is directed at, but why it’s hard to frame this as a blaxploitation movie is due to the writer/producer/director, Jamaa Fanaka.

Fanaka is back for his third time on this blog. Previously, I covered Penitentiary and its sequel, Penitentiary II. Brother Charles would be his first commercial film. In 1972, before making this movie, he made a short called A Day in the Life of Willie Faust, or Death on the Installment Plan. That was his student film made at UCLA, which was received fairly well. It was about a heroin addict. When I covered those two Penitentiary films, I made mention that Fanaka was keen to not have his films be called blaxploitation by audiences or critics. He felt the term was a little reductive or dismissive of his attempts to portray life for black men.

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Sugar Hill (1974)

Let’s raise the dead on this week’s new review at B-Movie Enema!

It’s the second week of my little theme month exploring some gems of 70s blaxploitation horror films. This week, I’m digging into 1974’s Sugar Hill from director Paul Maslansky. First and foremost, don’t confuse this with the 1994 movie of the same name starring Wesley Snipes. While both of these movies have a crime element, the earlier film takes place in Houston, while the Snipes vehicle takes place in the Harlem neighborhood of Sugar Hill.

Also, Maslansky’s Sugar Hill deals with voodoo.

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Ganja & Hess (1973)

Welcome to spooky month here at B-Movie Enema!

This year, I decided to do something a little bit different. Throughout the history of B-Movie Enema, and you should be aware of this if you’ve been around here for a bit, I hope I’ve been able to properly state that I love October and I love blaxploitation. For this year’s theme, I thought to myself, “Why not mix the two?” So, yeah… Welcome to Black Horror Halloween!

Now I might have used the term “blaxploitation” in the previous paragraph. I have five movies selected, and I would say that I think three of the movies selected can fall into that subgenre of blaxploitation. The other two can leave a lot of room for debate, that they should not be simply called (or for some, dismissed) as “blaxploitation.” I think director Bill Gunn would say our opener should simply be called a black film. Join me for the vampire horror of Ganja & Hess.

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