Category: Melissa Joan Hart Month

Nine Dead (2009)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle2 Comments

It’s another Melissa Joan Hart Month review here at B-Movie Enema!

By 2008, our lovely leading lady was married, a mom, and no longer Sabrina the Teenage Witch. For the most part, she was exploring other interests while still doing some TV work in guest appearances, like on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and in TV movies like 2007’s Holiday in Handcuffs. The latter, I suspect, started the work she did with ABC Family on cable and later led to lots of other holiday-themed TV movies. It also probably led to her being cast in 2009 on the main ABC network competition, Dancing with the Stars.

I digress. As part of her more grown-up roles that came after her work as Sabrina Spellman, we have the movie that is getting reviewed this week, 2009’s Nine Dead. Nine Dead was filmed over a few weeks in the summer of 2008. Hart is playing an Assistant District Attorney and has ditched her usual blonde locks for darker hair because she has a dark secret. In fact, everyone in this movie has some dark and serious shit to deal with. After the completion of filming, the movie kind of sat around until New Line Cinema would pick up the distribution rights and get this movie out on DVD and streaming.

Continue reading “Nine Dead (2009)” →

Twisted Desire (1996)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle3 Comments

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema and another entry in our Melissa Joan Hart Month!

This week, we have a staple of the network television movie – true crime. Quite frankly, if you’re curious when there was a time when true crime did not have an audience, the answer was never. Whether it was in books, or those old pamphlets that probably led to Jack the Ripper becoming really famous, or plays, or movies, true crime was always a way for people to rope in some audiences. Later, as networks like ABC, CBS, and NBC were making original movies to air as movies of the week, the 70s saw a lot of movies in the horror and thriller genres. However, as the 80s and 90s came along, most of the famous stuff was either historical epics or salacious true crime.

And salacious true crime is what we have for 1996’s Twisted Desire.

Continue reading “Twisted Desire (1996)” →

Backflash (2001)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle3 Comments

Welcome to B-Movie Enema, my Enemaniacs.

It’s February. What happens in February? Well, it’s the last month we all have to deal with winter… if you aren’t in places like Miami or, I dunno, Calgary. That’s a good thing. It’s also the month that is basically dominated, at least in the first half of the month, by the lovey-dovey bullshit that is Valentine’s Day. That’s not such a great thing. It’s a Hallmark holiday. You should celebrate love and what have you every day…? Eh. Anyway, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you do get those Conversation Hearts, and that’s a good thing.

But the best part of February is that on February 11, every goddamn year, I turn a year older. I get more and more detached from marketing campaigns. I get more and more gray, in the handsome, distinguished way. I get to have lunch with my dad at one of my favorite restaurants. And I get a lot of messages wishing me a good one. I used to not be a big fan of my birthday, but, dammit, I’ve kinda grown to like it the older I get.

So, for my own birthday, I’m celebrating here at B-Movie Enema with something I’ve been known to do from time to time. I’ve done it for Alyssa Milano, Phoebe Cates, and Jacqueline Lovell. It’s time to do what I’ve should have done a loooooong time ago, and do it for someone I’ve got a very long history with – Melissa Joan Hart. Yes, it’s Melissa Joan Hart Month for February! And we start with her in a supporting role in 2001’s Backflash.

Continue reading “Backflash (2001)” →