Category: Theme Months

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

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Sigh.

You people suck.  I mean it.  You guys are real assholes.

A couple months ago, I put out the call to action for B-Movie Enema Facebook followers to vote for what my May 2017 theme was going to be.  You had marvelous choices.  You could have picked more 80s horror (I subscribe to an entire channel on YouTube that I wanted to pull from).  You could have picked Cannon Films.  You could have chosen the chance to revisit movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  Hell, you could have picked to send me to the Sharknado series!  Shark-fucking-nado! Continue reading “Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)” →

Paradise (1982)

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Let’s jump back, for a moment, to 1980.  At the time, a young actress by the name of Brooke Shields was considered both a very pretty girl, and an up and coming actress.  In 1978, Shields starred in a movie called Pretty Baby which covered the taboo topic of child prostitution in the early 20th century.  She was 12 at the time of shooting, and she appeared nude in the film.  If you were 10 to maybe 15 years old at the time, you might have thought that was the tits, but if you were older, you’d probably be some sort of sex weirdo if you found any pleasure in that. Continue reading “Paradise (1982)” →

Date with an Angel (1987)

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I think I’m going to wish I had picked a different movie to include in Phoebe Cates Month.  I mean, Shag is a charming little movie (despite how awkwardly I was turned on by dance numbers including the Confederate flag).  Baby Sister was actually much better than I expected a disposable movie of the week to be.  Next week’s movie, Paradise, has a whole lot going for it despite it being a pretty bad knockoff of an already bad movie.

But, no, I had to include 1987’s Date with an Angel. Continue reading “Date with an Angel (1987)” →

Baby Sister (1983)

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Phoebe Cates Month rolls on with our next movie, the 1983 possibly-sultry-but-maybe-not-tv-movie Baby Sister!

After Cates dove into all our fantasies in Fast Times at Ridgemont High (her second film role, and if you can just hold your damn horses for a couple more weeks, we will certainly be discussing the first film role), she was able to continue to work relatively steadily for the next few years.  Later in 1983, she would get another big-time part in the coming of age comedy Private School before returning to TV to deliver this cherry line in the miniseries Lace where she played a sex symbol actress searching for her natural mother. Continue reading “Baby Sister (1983)” →

Shag: The Movie (1989)

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It’s a new month and a new opportunity to have a new theme.

Back in December, I covered Alyssa Milano in a way that only a real creep, or possibly that undertaker character Tom Petty played in the “Last Dance with Mary Jane” video, could.  That was a way to look at the body of work of a 90s dream girl who blossomed into a girl who really liked making movies teenage boys liked to watch.  For April, I decided to step back to the 1980s and talk about another brunette vixen that boys love to this day – Phoebe Cates. Continue reading “Shag: The Movie (1989)” →

Trancers (1984)

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Mercifully, Full Moon Fever February is coming to an end.

All month, I had to deal with Charles Band.  I thought we started nicely with Puppet Master.  Then things went downhill with The Gingerdead Man and Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  So I spent my birth month begging for sweet release from this cursed existence.  Thank fuck it’s here…

In the form of Tim Thomerson…

As Jack Deth. Continue reading “Trancers (1984)” →

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)

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Well, because the sweet embrace of death didn’t come to pass last week, I guess I have to continue Full Moon Fever.  At least there’s a chick in her bra and panties on the cover of this week’s movie!

Er…  I mean.  That had zero bearing on me choosing this movie – Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  No, that was the $2.95 price tag at the local Dollar General.

And the promise of tits.  Lots and lots of tits. Continue reading “Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)” →

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

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Shit.
Shit.
Motherfucker.
Goddammit.
Shit.
Monkey dick.
Motherdammit.
Godshitting monkeyfucker nutdick.

Full Moon Fever continues.  Last week, I had a good time watching the cult classic Puppet Master.  I felt like I really got to see something good for the first time in 2017.  But I just couldn’t stop there, could I? Continue reading “The Gingerdead Man (2005)” →