Sleepover (2016)

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“It was supposed to be a fun night…”

I know that feeling.  I get that every time I sit down to write one of these damn blog posts.  It was supposed to be a fun night.  Then it goes to shit and I watch crappy movies and dissect them.  Oh well, it’s my cross to bear.

I return to the world of Amazon Prime to explore more horror movies made in the 2000s.  This one, I admit, has something going for it.  Yeah, last week I watched a horror movie that followed an overused idea that what you saw was “based on true events” when, in fact, it’s almost entirely bullshit.  Horror movies still do that by the way.  But I think most will say that the Conjuring movies are generally well made and get the pass for being as good as they are. Continue reading “Sleepover (2016)” →

The Beckoning (2006)

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Now that I’ve washed my hands of “Full Moon Fever” last month, it’s time to move forward with B-Movie Enema.

For this month, I had to wonder what it was I would do for movies.  Seems like January had a series of movies that had bad things happen to good girls.  February was dedicated to Charles Band and his Full Moon Features.  I know April will be Phoebe Cates Month.

Oh…  Spoiler Alert!  April is Phoebe Cates Month. Continue reading “The Beckoning (2006)” →

Trancers (1984)

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Mercifully, Full Moon Fever February is coming to an end.

All month, I had to deal with Charles Band.  I thought we started nicely with Puppet Master.  Then things went downhill with The Gingerdead Man and Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  So I spent my birth month begging for sweet release from this cursed existence.  Thank fuck it’s here…

In the form of Tim Thomerson…

As Jack Deth. Continue reading “Trancers (1984)” →

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)

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Well, because the sweet embrace of death didn’t come to pass last week, I guess I have to continue Full Moon Fever.  At least there’s a chick in her bra and panties on the cover of this week’s movie!

Er…  I mean.  That had zero bearing on me choosing this movie – Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  No, that was the $2.95 price tag at the local Dollar General.

And the promise of tits.  Lots and lots of tits. Continue reading “Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)” →

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

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Shit.
Shit.
Motherfucker.
Goddammit.
Shit.
Monkey dick.
Motherdammit.
Godshitting monkeyfucker nutdick.

Full Moon Fever continues.  Last week, I had a good time watching the cult classic Puppet Master.  I felt like I really got to see something good for the first time in 2017.  But I just couldn’t stop there, could I? Continue reading “The Gingerdead Man (2005)” →

Puppet Master (1989)

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It’s February, and that can mean only one thing…  It’s Full Moon Fever, bitches!

That’s right, for the month of February, B-Movie Enema is getting the Full Moon treatment – which is probably going to be about the same as being perpetually mooned by some fat asshole.  But why would that be?  What’s with “Full Moon Fever”, anyway?  Am I going to be spending a month talking about the marvelous pieces of filmed art that were the videos shot for Tom Petty’s first solo album, Full Moon Fever? Continue reading “Puppet Master (1989)” →

Deadly Friend (1986)

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Just because it seems as though I haven’t had enough of the whole “likable female lead gets killed” theme so far for 2017…

Oh shit, spoilers: Kristy Swanson plays a completely, totally likable character and gets straight murdered in this movie.

Anyway, like I was saying, this week, we jump right into one of the strangest movies I’ve seen in a while.  Okay, that’s a massive fucking lie.  Mystics in Bali was one of the most bonkers things I may have ever seen ever.  Again, let me get back on track here – this week’s feature, Deadly Friend, is strange not because of how the movie itself plays out or how completely, totally 80s it is, but in how it is a terribly awkward follow-up for Wes Craven after his A Nightmare on Elm Street revitalized the horror genre in the middle of the decade. Continue reading “Deadly Friend (1986)” →

Black Roses (1988)

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Alright, guys…  I need to redeem 2017 in a hurry.  Let’s see if enlisting the power of 1980s hair metal rock and roll can get us back on track.

No, really, I mean it.  I kinda feel after a particularly strong showing during Alyssa Milano month in December, I have done nothing but stumble out of the gate here in January.  So, Black Roses, it’s up to you to save my blog.

1980s horror had a few things going for it.  First, it had slashers.  Second, it could always fall back on the old, tried and true supernatural.  Third, there was an onslaught of new rock and roll bands that stood in direct opposition to the resurgence of Evangelical Christianity of the time.  Finally, there was the VHS boom that meant more and more movies could be made cheaply to cash in on those kids who just wanted something easy to watch. Continue reading “Black Roses (1988)” →