Sexsquatch (2013)

When you have a blog that discusses movies or possibly cultural turning points in the form of celluloid, eventually, it becomes an absolute truth of your life that you will discuss something like what I have this week – Sexsquatch.

I’m not entirely sure what to say about this movie.  Obviously, there is a Wikipedia page for it.  It’s widely known that the Sexsquatch Wikipedia page is largest and most extensive page in the history of Wikipedia.  However, I do also believe that the less you know about the biggest moneymaker in the history of film, grossing $47 billion against a $350 million budget, the better.

Now, of course any time a film breaks through and makes a cultural impact the size of Sexsquatch has, there will be haters.  There will be those who are detractors.  There will be contrarians.  There will be those who will try to be elitist in saying that your love of such a mainstream film makes you a farthead.  Possibly even a monkeydick.  They’ll even call you a fuckqueef. Continue reading “Sexsquatch (2013)”

Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988)

I have something to admit…  Originally, I had Attack of the Killer Tomatoes slated for this week’s B-Movie Enema.  About 20 minutes into that movie, I quickly realized, there’s no way to do that movie in the fine tradition of this blog.  The reason was that everything about that movie that made it what it was, was in the jokes.

You had parodies of Jaws, Superman and Lois Lane, Japanese science fiction, bad dubbing on a Japanese character, tiny oneliners, lots and lots of visual jokes, a black man who was the master of disguise and often dressed as white guys convincing others he really was the person he was disguised as, and incompetency from government types and what have you.  It’s impossible to write about because it is entirely made up of those little moments that turned out to be greater than the whole.

So I made an executive decision to change to the sequel, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, and George Clooney’s magnificent mullet. Continue reading “Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988)”

Chillerama (2011)

It’s been a bit since I did an anthology movie.  In fact, I’ve only ever done one in the past.  So let’s make up for that with a giant, nearly two full hours of kooky b-movie stories rolled into the horror comedy Chillerama from 2011!

The four segments contained within Chillerama are framed by a connecting story at a drive-in theater that is playing monster movies.  Then, each of those four segments is a parody and homage to a particular genre and style.  Additionally, each segment is directed by a different person – Adam Rifkin who directed mostly a split between family fare and boner comedies/thrillers, Tim Sullivan who was mostly known for producing movies like Detroit Rock City before making 2001 Maniacs with Robert Englund, Adam Green who made his mark with the Hatchet series of horror films, and Joe Lynch who is most recently known for directing Mayhem starring Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving.

Chillerama was the brainchild of Rifkin and Sullivan who met on Detroit Rock City and spitballed an idea for an anthology called Famous Monsters of Filmland – a title based on the Forrest J. Ackerman magazine that they grew up reading.  Continue reading “Chillerama (2011)”

Doom Asylum (1987)

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this post is yet another tribute to the defunct Roku channel Bizarre TV.  In particular, it is a tribute to that final six movies that played for a long time before the channel finally went away.  I’ve already covered half of the final six – here, here, and here.  It’s time to add a fourth to the list.

And wooo boy it is Doom Asylum.

When I first saw this movie, I had one of those reactions that you have when you begin to doubt reality and make you wonder how a thing like this gets made.  It’s the same reaction I had while sitting in a theater watching Cats.  You ask things like “What?” and “Where?” and “Huh?” and “Why?” an awful lot.  It warps your sensibilities until you just stare at the TV, mouth agape, and just sit there and allow the movie to have its way with you. Continue reading “Doom Asylum (1987)”