Hellmaster (1992)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema, my dearest of dear Enemaniacs!

These last few weeks have kind of turned into an adjunct Greatest Hits album for the blog. I covered a classic from the days gone by of Bizarre TV, a sleazy revenge flick, a sleazy women in prison film, and here we go again, but, this time, with a twist. I’m going waaaaay back to the early days of not just this site, but for B-Movie Enema: The Series, my hosting show you can find at here on the site, or on YouTube, or on Vimeo.

Let’s talk a litlte bit about John Saxon, star of 1992’s Hellmaster.

Saxon has appeared in three films covered in text form on this blog. The first time was one of the earliest of posts during the early days of the site, My Mom’s a Werewolf. I actually kind of adore that movie for silly reasons, but reasons nonetheless. That was also the first time he appeared on B-Movie Enema: The Series when I covered that very same movie in epsiode #2 of the show. Later, I wrote about The Bees, the movie in which murder bees became organized enough to ultimatey send Saxon to the United Nations to speak on their terms of how they will allow us to peacefully co-exist with them. I don’t make this stuff up. Third time was a charm, though, with Moonshine County Express, the carsploitation film distributed by Roger Corman’s New World Pictures. The second time he appeared on B-Movie Enema: The Series was for the Joe Don Baker classic, Mitchell. That movie is awesome and stupid and I love it.

John Saxon had roughly 200 credits to his name as an actor. He was a good looking man and was able to really pile up those credits quickly both on TV and in film. On TV, he worked consistently through the 60s and 70s appearing on shows like Bonanza, Dr. Kildare, Ironside, The Virginian, The Streets of San Francisco, Night Gallery, Sarsky and Hutch, Wonder Woman, and Hawaii Five-O. While he continued to do more guest work on TV shows into the 80s and 90s, well, it’s really his film work that raises a lot of eyebrows and impresses.

Of course, we best remember Saxon for playing Heather Langenkamp’s Nancy’s father in A Nightmare on Elm Street and the best sequel, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. He would even basically appear as himself in the final film in the series, Wes Craven’s New Nightmare. He also appears in maybe my favorite Dario Argento film after Suspiria, Tenebrae.

However, he goes beyond the Freddy Kruger films and the giallo and important horror films like Black Christmas. He had a great deal many important films on his filmography outside the horror genre. He had an uncredited teeny tiny part in the Judy Garland/James Mason version of A Star Is Born. He would get a Golden Globe Nomination for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture for his role in The Appaloosa starring Marlon Brando.

His biggest claim to fame is sharing the screen with Bruce Lee in the monumental Enter the Dragon. Bruce Lee was already known at the time. He had been in popular movies like The Big Boss, Fist of Fury, The Way of the Dragon. He had also appeared as Kato on The Green Hornet TV series. Enter the Dragon made him an international superstar, but sadly, it was posthumously. Enter the Dragon was made on an $850,000 budget – not too bad at the time, but relatively small compared to other major action films of the era. However, upon release, the film’s worldwide gross topped $400 million. Adjusted for inflation, that’s like a movie being a $2 billion blockbuster. There aren’t many Marvel films that have topped that number today. So, let that sink in. There was only one film that topped it at the box office for 1973 and that was The Exorcist. Live and Let Die came in thrid for the year at a distant $162 million with George Lucas coming in fourth with American Graffiti at a pale $140 million. No other movie released that calendar year topped $40 million worldwide.

Again, let that sink in.

Now, we’re talking John Saxon here. He’s clearly not the reason why Enter the Dragon made that kind of money. It was the popularity of Bruce Lee coupled with his tragic death that propelled that kind of gross. Still, Saxon was just as visible in the movie and very easily, in terms of the story, just as key to the movie as Lee was.

In the 2010s, Saxon began taking it very easy. After all, he was getting up there in age. He had a long career and I suppose there wasn’t much more he really needed to do. So he did some smaller parts, and shorts. Saxon died at the age of 83 in July 2020 due to some complications from pneumonia. He had moved to Murfreesboro, Tennessee and had lived there for many years. After passing away, he would be buried in Seattle in the same cemetery where his Enter the Dragon co-star, Bruce Lee, was buried. In fact, their graves aren’t too far from each other.

But now, let us shift our attention to 1992’s Hellmaster, directed by Douglas Shulze, and the opening shot that will most definitely get the Newsboys to fire back in a very lame way…

It should also be stated that the original name of this movie is actually Them which is what we see in the credits at the beginning of this movie. It also went by Soulstealer. I’m guessing the giant ant movie Them! was one reason why they changed the name to Hellmaster. Another reason might be due to that Soultaker movie that came out a few years before this. Both of those other titles for this movie seemingly had other movies very similarly named. I think it’s a good thing they went with Hellmaster because what other movie has that title?

The movie opens with a man nervously trying to get in touch with his wife. He’s concerned that his life is in danger due to something he saw when reporting on a very strange police case. The reporter is played by David Emge, best known for being Flyboy in Dawn of the Dead. In this dilapidated building in a dark room, the walls and floors are covered with blood. Scrawled in blood on the wall is the word “REWARD” and among some of the dead bodies littering the room, there are others who are acting very strange. All of them have this particular symbol carved into their foreheads.

As he continues to write his story about what he saw, soon, a line of eerie, pale, zombie-like people, also with the same symbol on their heads. A very pale looking John Saxon tells this man he brought him something, and we see that apparently his wife is one of these zombie-like creeps. He then asks the reporter what he sees and it cuts to six months later.

We transition to the Kant Institute. It’s a technological institute where a terrible incident took place previously. A higher up at the college is teaching a special class, but he’s doing it by way of appearing on several TV screens in front of a relatively select number of students. He’s showing them images, and asking individuals what they think of what they are seeing. It ends up creating something of a vibrant debate among members of the class. One mentioning a homelessness issue that he wouldn’t so much want to end as much as obliterate so that it can’t happen again after it gets solved. Another mentions that the homeless should just learn to get jobs or be left behind. Another student mentions the role of God in our society and asks the philosophical question if the United States is God’s tool or if we created the higher being in a way that makes God a tool for the country.

I’ll just say Kant is an institute of technology. This seems like a pretty far out class where psychology and philosophy and politics and God is discussed at an institute of technology. I figured a place like this would be something like ITT Technical where you learn how to fix cars or do heating and air studies.

Anyway, the girl who brought up God and really wanted to get into a weird philosophical debate over the creation of a higher power for use in society, Shelly, gets a mental transmission from a shadowy figure at the back of the classroom. The message is to leave there tonight and never return. The shadowy figure sure looks a lot like the reporter, Robert.

Shelly seems to be working on a project that seems to do with geometric shapes. She also seems to be consistently seeing images in her head of a chapel on campus where that terrible incident happened 20 years prior. Joel, a really good friend of Shelly’s, heard about a creepy guy who hangs out by the chapel. She says that she’s seen the guy but she doesn’t think he’s a threat to anyone. Joel says that he heard that a professor at the school used experimental drugs on the students to enhance their minds. Being that was the late 60s and early 70s, this doesn’t surprise Shelly one bit. However, the two kids are not alone in the research lab as Robert is watching the kids from behind some shelves.

Another student that hasn’t arrived at the school yet is Tracy. She’s stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire with her younger sister and father. She’s a real dick to him, but he’s kind of a dick back to her. As she impatiently awaits him finishing putting the spare tire on the car, a radio report talks about a bizarre incident involving a church bus and the people on it. That church bus, I might add, is barreling down the road and stops right behind the car. Tracy sees her dad’s body pulled under the bus. Tracy is then attacked by a nun who had been driving that bus and is attacked by a peculiar looking guy with stripes on his face from the backseat. Tracy’s sister escapes but it looks like it’s curtains for Tracy.

Tensions of different sorts begin to rise around the school. Drake, the boy in the earlier scene who talked about homelessness, gets into a bit of a heated exchange with Jesse, a meathead who felt that the homeless need to be treated with tough love to force them back on their feet. In addition, I guess we find out that Kant is a school for all sorts of peculiar studies as it’s revealed that Shelly can read minds. That happens to be a very specific fetish for Drake who makes it more than obvious he has major hots for the cutie.

Later, Drake runs into their weird professor who was teaching the kids via TV, Professor Damon. He’s been acting pretty strange ever since class too as he is now walking around packing heat in the form of a revolver tucked into his pants. Drake immediately picks up on something being a little off. But Damon doesn’t really give a response that instills much faith in the young man.

Damon confronts Robert in the old chapel. Robert knows that there wasn’t a fire at the school. He asks why Professor Damon doesn’t tell the truth. He wants to know about a secret pathway from the chapel to a secret lab. There’s a bunch of something in that secret lab that can create a bunch of zombie-like monsters. Robert knows it’s linked to a cult led by a Professor Jones. Basically Damon and Jones were trying to develop a serum that, if used properly, would essentially create super people. They would have incredibly powerful minds. However, it appears that ol’ Jonesy used it for other reasons.

Robert threatens Professor Damon to tell him who killed the students 20 years ago. Just then, Jones (Paxon) shows up to say that he’s back and he’s perfected his serum. He even uses it himself from time to time. The serum creates genetic changes in the subject and things seem to get a little hairy as Damon screams from off screen.

The school is experiencing some power outages in a few places on campus. The cops, of which Shelly’s brother is one, go to check it out and find the church bus at the gate. One of the cops goes to check it out only to be hung by noose. When Adam, Shelly’s brother, sees him hanging there, he retreats to the car where the striped face guy pops up from the back seat to use a second noose on him. When the cops’ car is brought back to the security building, Shelly sees the ghastly sight of their bodies being drug behind the car.

Shelly hides while the nun driving the bus and two other monster people go inside and look around. We see one little creature in getting a shot from the same type of three-pronged syringe that Professor Jones showed Damon in the previous scene. Trying to figure out what is going on, Drake, Joel, and Jesse decide to walk over to the security building. They also see church bus at the front gate. Drake and Joel go one way and Jesse decides to take a look at the bus when the cop car rolls up to him and the driver is revealed to be the striped face man.

I have a question about these bad guys. Are they mutants? Are they zombies? Are they… what? They seem to be sort of like mutants. However, they don’t seem to possess their own free will anymore. It’s like that monster nun that’s been showing up here is clearly not being turned into a mutant and then deciding to keep her own sense of morals or religiosity. She’s now killing people and being scary and doing other stuff. So… What’s going on there? I suppose it is possible the nun dresses like that as we do find out later that the four monsters we see and John Saxon make up a weird, twisted family dynamic of sorts, but yeah… Earlier, we saw that Robert was approached by what appeared to a group of zombified people, one of which was his wife. So are some people turned into mutants and some into zombies? Are the zombies more like the cult followers because they all get the weird crossed J symbol etched on their foreheads?

Now, I have other questions about this production of this movie. It’s kind of clear there were some issues here with some scenes being cut awkwardly together or having strange edits within a scene that doesn’t make much sense and so forth. I do have to wonder if maybe the script was constantly being rewritten. Maybe that would explain why some of these monsters are monsters and way some others aren’t. It might explain what the story is with the striped face guy who seems to be doing a lot of killing and/or injecting with the serum stuff, but it also seems like maybe John Saxon is also going around doing stuff. Is it possible Saxon was a late addition to the movie and that’s why we kind of have multiple people to follow here on the side of bad? I mean it, the nun and the striped faced dude are definitely doing all the real obvious bad stuff. Saxon is only talking about bad stuff. It’s also pretty clear that he’s the head of a cult too. Again, I’m returning to the question of if these monster people are something else or included in the cult in some way.

While I do have lots of questions about those strange edits and the monster characters of the movie, this movie is interesting, though… in a good way. I like the monster people. They are compelling creatures. The striped face dude has great makeup that gives me Nightbreed vibes. The nun monster is really scary looking when she first appeared. There’s a nice ominous mood hanging over this movie that I do like. I just feel like that maybe the most interesting stuff, this professor who has his own cult and how he’s kind of controlling people or making them into these zombies, is kind of getting lost in a more run of the mill mutant monster horror flick.

So anyway, the striped face man tells Jesse that if he only knew what they became after receiving “the reward”, he’d understand the need for the serum. He then kills Jesse relatively easily. Drake tells Joel to meet him in the theater. He’s going to go and distract the monsters because Joel is able to run from them. Shelly gets a spare revolver from the drawer of the security cops’ desk and heads back out to try to find her brother. Elsewhere, a pair of students, Paul and Barb, also find the secret lab with a ton of corpses, a shitload of syringes, and barrels of corrosive chemicals. How they got there, I don’t know. We didn’t see Paul, who really is the one who found everything, Barb just kind of went looking for him, trying to find out anything about what happened in the past, he just stumbled onto it. Also, isn’t that in the chapel? Did they go to the chapel? Robert is still in the chapel. Won’t he potentially find himself in a heap of trouble if he just sticks around where all the worst shit goes down?

Oh whatever.

Paul and Barb is in this secret lab and they hear this girlish giggling come from the shadows. Paul decides to pick up a heavy metal something or another to use as a weapon. He’s surprised to find the sort of adult version of Clint Howard’s Balok from Star Trek standing behind him and asking if Paul would like to play with him.

Robert sees Tracy’s little sister crawling between the pews in the chapel. Soon, the monster nun comes in and snarls at Robert and goes looking for the little girl. In the secret monster lab, little Clint Howard is using a blade to cut up Paul’s legs. It eventually leads to Paul falling to the floor and a bucket of that corrosive shit landing right on him to melt his face and body. In the chapel, monster nun goes after the little girl to inject her with the monster juice, but Robert uses a crossbow with a syringe of some other stuff to shoot the monster nun in the face. That serum that Robert is packing seems to work against the nun as she convulses and falls to the floor.

As far as Paul goes, he’s basically turning into the dude from Robocop who melts from toxic waste. For Barb, well, she’s being called “no fun” by monster Clint Howard. He then kisses Barb before running off. I… I think Barb is useless? It takes her a really long time to run away from the secret lab. She’s able to work her way back to the school where she locks the door to the secret lab and… wait. There was just a door in the main building of the school that led right into the secret monster making lab? For real? Not once in 20 years did anyone think to look behind the door that was always locked to see what class they are missing out on or what that dorm room might have that theirs don’t?

Also, when Robert killed the nun monster with the crossbow loaded with a syringe with something that would kill monsters, he looks surprised and says, “Wow, this shit really works.” That’s great that there’s a weapon against the monsters, but… and you know I have to ask this… WHAT is that weapon? What’s in the syringe. When you are dealing with a vampire in a movie, you normally hear somebody say you need to try the following things: garlic, crosses, holy water, and a stake through the heart. THEN you see the hero go and try those things. You don’t usually see Van Helsing try something without explaining what he’s trying and what the desired effect should be. So Robert has this goo in a syringe with a crossbow? Great! He’s got a whole bandolier of the stuff too. Even better! But if you don’t tell me what that stuff is supposed to be, I have no idea what you’re doing with it.

You see? This is what I’m getting at when I say it feels like there are missing scenes or something in this movie. It’s disjointed. Either the film went to production without a particularly good script or the script was constantly being rewritten or they ran out of money and couldn’t shoot all the scenes they planned to. Whatever the answer is, this movie is missing key information.

There’s a third monster now roaming about the movie in the school’s main building – this is credited as Moon. Moon is killing students with a giant Bowie knife. I know she’s crazy. I know she’s got the crossed J symbol on her forehead. So… Is she a mutant or is she a cultist? Is she both? The nun was a straight up monster. The little dude seemingly is a straight up monster. Striped faced dude? Monster. What about Moon? Did she just get messed up teeth, a lack of eyebrows, and a bad sense of makeup skills as her mutant power? Her wig falls off and it looks like she might have a little bit of a ridged forehead thing going on.

Moon and the little “monkey man” (who is later referred to as Joey) are called off Barb’s trail by Professor Jones who says he needs to go dispose of the nun’s body (he refers to her as “Mama”) and Barb can be left because she won’t be able to hurt them. He then says that they will celebrate the “Reward” tonight as he injects himself with some of the monster juice.

We finally return to Shelly who is following a trail of blood down the hallway of the dorm. She finds Barb crying over Adam’s body. He was the one who was stabbed in the back by Moon. Now, get this… Adam survived being strangled from the backseat of the cop car, drug behind the cop car, and was able to crawl to the dorm to only be stabbed in the back by one of the monsters just as he found a student to try to help. He didn’t sacrifice himself for that student, or, more importantly, take a stabbing to save his sister. No. He’s just kind of unceremoniously killed.

That sort of shit irritates me in a horror movie. His death is as meaningless, or more meaningless, than his existence in the movie. But whatever, there’s no time to grieve, Barb and Shelly… There’s something knocking out what lights do work in the building and possibly hunting you in the halls.

Joey’s the one who is descending on the two grieving girls. However, Shelly is not able to shoot the little guy because, well, that’s not really her bag. Good thing we’ve got Robert coming up from behind the little monster so he can shoot him in the back of the head with his monster killing goo syringes. That then causes Joey’s head to melt and he dies.

Robert explains what the goo is. He says that it is what Jones developed. It’s basically a super powerful acid. If it’s not diluted with your blood first, it will melt the brain. If it is diluted, as Jones does, it basically turns them into mutants and makes them his slaves. Before moving on to find more of the mutants to kill, Robert leaves Tracy’s little sister with Shelly and Barb.

Elsewhere, Drake arrives at the theater to try to find Joel. He calls out for Joel but doesn’t get an answer. Elsewhere in the theater, Moon is holding Professor Damon captive with her hand over his mouth. Robert comes into the theater to find the other monsters and do away with them. They soon see that Damon is essentially crucified and hanging from the backstage catwalks.

Inside the school, Shelly and Barb find Joel. Joel, for some reason, doesn’t know where Drake is. All he says is that Drake ran to save him. Dude… He told you to go to the theater. That’s, as it turns out, where he’s at. Did you forget that part of the plan or are you now operating on a different version of the script?

Back in the theater, Robert goes to the stage to find Moon and the striped faced man. He sees Moon but he is scared and distracted by a flinching Professor Damon. He doesn’t see the striped faced dude coming up from behind. He sticks Robert with the monster making stuff to make him one of them.

Back inside the school, Barb says they’re going to die like the other students did 20 years ago. Joel wants to know more about what she saw and what she means by that. She explains that she and Paul found this room that had a bunch of weird stuff in it. It’s decided at this point to make a sympathetic character a total fuck nugget turd, so Joel yells at Barb for not telling him more and it’s probably because he’s a crippled dude. She tries to explain to him that, yeah, dude, she’s a little traumatized by the events of the night. He tells her that his disability was born, hers was not. He storms off to lament his situation. John Saxon decides to make him an offer to help him with his situation.

Shelly deicides that she will go alone and try to cut through buildings and what have you to make it out to the road so she can get help. Barb is in no condition to join her, and the little girl isn’t going to help them move quickly. Shelly starts walking down the silent hallways and immediately turns into a dead end. Whatever. I guess that’s an important part of her plan.

While Barb is still freaking out over everything going on, Jones comes to her and seemingly tries to seduce her into his cult to be his bride. But he’s not looking for Barb. I guess he wants Shelly. I guess it’s that psychic power of hers that he really is wanting to be serve as a mother of his new flock. Oh yeah… Remember that Shelly has psychic abilities? I guess that’s still a thing because she starts seeing graves and coffins and what have you.

But that might just be John Saxon? He makes people things. She sees her brother who claims he’s still alive. When Drake comes to save her and snap her out of the vision, he sees the image of Adam too. Shelly is nearly attacked by Moon, but Drake shoots her and kills her. Shelly realizes it’s drugs that are controlling the mutants. Weaker minds are controlled by the drug. Stronger minds control the drug and the powers that come with it. Just then, the little girl comes down the hallway and we find out that Barb has been left to see the drugged out Joel who kind of attacks her. So, in response, she beats him to a bloody pulp with his own crutch.

Holy shit.

This is seriously one of the most tasteless things I’ve ever seen in a movie I’ve covered on the blog before. Joel was an incredibly sympathetic character from very early on in the movie. He had a thing for Barb. It was something that he talked to Shelly about in the earlier scene in the research lab. I understand his sensitivity and insecurity about his disability. I can even understand him being seduced by Saxon into basically joining the cult or even possibly becoming a monster like the others. I could maybe let it slide that he would maybe kill Barb because of being twisted by Saxon and she’s basically worthless.

But to have her finally do one aggressive thing in this movie and it be to beat Joel to death with his own crutch? That’s some fucked up shit, man. The soundtrack has this kind of romantically victorious music playing as she does this. It’s fucking insane. This is also set up by him being able to be seduced away by having him becoming a massive dickhead to Barb and have it deal with disability – physically stunted vs. emotionally stunted. Dude, Barb was never set up as a character who seemingly was doing anything particularly wrong – especially not to Joel. So she wasn’t particularly smart. Sure. So she had boyfriends. Sure. But for him to call her disabled on an emotional level and then for this story to end with her beating him to death with his own crutches is fucking awful.

It has really tainted the general passability of this movie even with all its faults.

Alright, so we’re pretty much in the final stretch now. Robert has apparently gone missing after being injected. Saxon has sent the striped faced man after him. The striped faced man seems to be struggling a bit. Saxon says he’s weakened. It’s probably to do with the drugs. However, when the striped faced man finds Barb in the theater (she, Shelly, and the little girl apparently went to the theater for… reasons?), he seems not all that weak at all.

The striped faced man kills Barb. However, he sees himself as he once was on the televisions by the stage. It’s possible that Robert is playing that, but Shelly tells him that she has what he needs and shows him the syringes. He wants her to inject him. So she stabs him with the undiluted stuff and then Drake uses his own weapon against him to finally get rid of the striped faced man.

But! It’s not Drake. The little girl won’t go with them because she sees through the illusion. It’s Saxon disguised as Drake. The real Drake helps her see through the illusion. She and Drake run away. She finds Robert in the chapel and he’s not doing so great. She convinces Robert that she has the power to be able to control the drug. She wants him to inject her so she can match Saxon’s powers and defeat him. Or something.

Shortly after injecting Shelly, Robert starts seeing the walls of the chapel bleed and then he sees Saxon with glowing eyes. He begs for Saxon to stop the madness. Saxon says this isn’t madness. He’s proven that he’s created himself as something like a god in a world where people kill each other over a god that doesn’t exist. She forces him to see things from 20 years ago. Drake then thinks he’s able to shoot and kill Saxon, but it’s an illusion and he accidentally kills Robert. Saxon appears to take the gun from Drake and plans on shooting him, but the gun is out of bullets. He get stabbed by one of Robert’s syringes by the little girl who has suddenly shown up in the chapel and he just laughs while burning up.

Eventually, it appears that Saxon melts and lights on fire, but base on the blank-faced, disbelieving look on Shelly’s face, it’s possibly not what’s really happening? I don’t know. All I know is that the next thing we know is that Saxon has completely disappeared. Drake and Shelly embrace happily as the only two survivors of their school. There’s not a second thought about Drake killing an actual good person just moments ago.

Oof magoof.

Hellmaster is the very definition and personification of a mixed bag. When looked at on the surface with its premise, the performances of John Saxon, David Emge, and Amy Raasch as Shelly, the various monsters, and the kind of general eerie vibe that comes with the setting of this school and such, I’m fully on board. However, considering that the the movie’s scenes are barely holding together like a tire with only a couple of the lug nuts tightened and the actual smoothness of which the plot rides after taking off with those missing lug nuts, it becomes a bit of a white knuckle ride.

Generally speaking, a lot of my complaints go beyond nitpicking. There’s a serious issue not with big things like tone or acting or effects. All of those things are perfectly fine or serviceable in this movie. But things get really disjointed in the editing and the spatial stuff. I mentioned many times over in this review that there are curious cuts and scenes pick up in very strange places where it feels like we missed something or something was missing that would indicate why two characters are in a specific place. Maybe it isn’t so much that they couldn’t do any reshoots or ran out of money to finish the movie. It’s possible editing just had to cut the movie down to as close to 95 minutes as possible. There is a version of the movie in standard definition on the Vinegar Syndrome release that is a re-edited version by the director. However, it’s roughly the same runtime as the remastered, officially released version. Possibly it could rearrange some scenes, but that wasn’t really my issue.

So the editing leads to the other issue – spatial problems. Why did, all of a sudden, Shelly, the little girl, and Barb show up in the theater setting? These characters, the last we saw them, was supposed to escort Barb, who was suffering from shock from bashing in the head of a disabled man with his own crutch (I still can’t believe that happened), across the hall to another room so she wasn’t left with Joel’s body. The theater, as it would seem, was nowhere near that area. So how did they get there. If they were in one room and then suddenly were in another room nearby, that’s one thing. But these are two very different settings. We have no idea how Paul and Barb ended up in the secret lab with all the goop and dead bodies. There was no indication they would even think to go to that room to have a secret fuck sesh – which is the only thing I can think of that they were looking to find a private place to do. They were just there so Paul could be killed and Barb can have some extra knowledge for Shelly later.

When that sort of inconsistency in the normal flow of a normal movie crops up, it doesn’t make for a particularly good experience.

But… I can move on now. This was the second time I saw this movie and I must have not been paying that much attention the first time around because I was excited to see it again. Anyway, what’s on tap for next week? Well, we’re going to go back to 1970 for a sort of forgotten horror-comedy from the great Freddie Francis. I’m going to look at Girly, also known as Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly. So, why not joint me for that, eh?

Until then, go watch a better John Saxon movie. There’s, like, 200 to choose from.

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