As we pass out of the dog days of summer, and transition into the colorful days of autumn, I think it’s time we checked in with an old friend – Russ Meyer! We begin with this week’s new B-Movie Enema review with 1967’s Common Law Cabin.

I might as well go ahead and call this month Russ Meyer Month II. I’ve visited the works of the great Mr. Meyer in two different ways. First, if you go back to May 2020, COVID was raging like a bad case of hemorrhoids and the first Russ Meyer Month was rocking and rolling with some of the nudie film master’s most recognizable films. The second time I came to something Russ Meyer, it was to warm things up last December with the pretty great (and fairly sexy) Supervixens. It was very clearly time to return.

This month, I’ve got five more classics to discuss. I very specifically chose four films for their titles. The fifth, well, it’s another time Meyer worked with my all-time favorite critic, Roger Ebert. This first movie is, on the surface, maybe, the oddest of this month’s collection.

I chose Common Law Cabin as one of the four I chose specifically because of the title. Why? It’s hard to explain. For some reason, when I was going through the Meyer films available to me and their titles, This one stuck out to me. Oh, sure… Motorpsycho is a hell of a title. Black Snake… Are you kidding? But this one stuck out in a different way.

Have you ever read a list of adult films? Like, you know, you are going through all the adult films released in, say, 1995, and reading the titles out loud? It’s most definitely the ones that seem to have the most innocuous titles that bring more giggles than any others. Common Law Cabin is definitely the one that did that the most. So, you know what? I just said, “Let’s go with it!” and we’re leading things off with it.

This isn’t the earliest one I’m covering. That belongs to Motorpsycho, but I feel like this is a good place to start. It’s an easy breezy 70 minutes of sexy fun. Babette Bardot and Alaina Capri are the lovely ladies leading this romp. Bardot appeared in one other Meyer film, Mondo Topless. She claims to be a distant relative of French bombshell Brigitte Bardot. She also claims to have once modeled for the great Spanish artist Pablo Picasso when she was a teenager.

The slightly more interesting lady is Alaina Capri. Capri actually met Meyer when she was 16 when she modeled for him during his glamour photographer career. About a decade later, she got cast in this film because Meyer was looking for buxom girls to appear in a movie. She was part of a pop group and her manager sent her picture to Meyer. Of course, he already knew who she was. She made one more film, also with Meyer, Good Morning… and Goodbye!, which was also made in 1967. That would be her last film. She became rather upset and felt betrayed by Meyer when she thought a scene she was doing was only to imply more nudity than she thought would be shown. When she found out more of her body was seen than she was comfortable with, she more or less stopped speaking to everyone one set and left the business.

Here’s where things get interesting. Alaina Capri decided to go into teaching. However, due to appearing in two Russ Meyer films, someone who was rather well known for making nudies, she was absolutely terrified that people would find out and it would ruin her life. However, Meyer would redeem himself. He protected her anonymity and her real name. Grateful for this, Capri later made amends with Meyer and attended his funeral.

This film also has Russ Meyer collaborator Jack Moran. Moran plays Dewey Hoople. Hoople runs the titular Common Law Cabin. Moran wrote or co-wrote several of Meyer’s projects in the 60s, including both of the 1967 films, this one and Good Morning… and Goodbye!, but, most importantly, he co-wrote Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Good on him for that masterpiece.

So, with that, let’s get rolling on Common Law Cabin!

The movie opens with almost a nature film style with aerial shots of rivers and lakes along scenic terrain. We find out this is the Colorado River. The narrator talks about all sorts of crazy stuff about making down payments and paying bills and longitude and garbage and giving and taking like a woman but having a man’s name. I’m not entirely sure what the hell the narrator is saying or trying to convey, but, you know what? It doesn’t take us long to get to Babette Bardot’s heaving bosom.

Bardot plays Babette. She’s married to Dewey Hoople who is complaining about the heat. Outside, in a small pond, their daughter, Coral, swims and frolics. I want to make it exceptionally clear that Coral is canonically 16 years old. She likes swimming nude. This irritates her father. You know, because she’s only 16. However, be aware that Adele Rein, who plays Coral, is a veteran of Russ Meyer movies. She’s playing young.

That’s probably going to be uncomfortable.

Anyway, Dewey wants Coral and Babette to get dressed, which means something different for each lady, because a fella named Cracker is bringing more “suckers” to them so they need to be ready. Coral doesn’t like what they are doing. Dewey agrees that everything would be better if there weren’t suckers, but they have to eat. Babette is apparently something of a honey pot. Frankly, I think Coral is too. They will sometimes dance for the people brought to the cabin. He doesn’t like how often Coral has been dancing for customers for their money.

We then meet Cracker. Cracker is an old flim-flam man. He hangs out around normal places and tries to find people he can bring to Hoople’s Haven. He sells it hard by saying it is the most unique resort in all of Arizona. Well, he’s been trying to reel in a big fish and he thinks he might have found it with the Ross couple. Martin is some sort of a doctor. He’s kind of a typical middle-aged guy. His wife, though, Sheila (Alaina Capri)… She’s a whole other story.

Dr. Martin, according to what Cracker sees, is a drip. Sheila is out of his league. Not only are they not in the same league, but they also seem to be not on the same page with one another. That said, it’s clear why she sticks around with this drip. As Cracker puts it, on one of her hands is about half the inventory of Tiffany’s.

Cracker puts on his best pitch. Dr. Martin cuts him off and basically tells him this is all silly and clearly a con. Sheila says she’s going to be there with or without her husband. Also spotted by Cracker is Barney Rickert. Cracker says Barney almost approaches him as if he’s the con man and Cracker’s the mark. He asks question after question, but eventually pulls out a fat wad and agrees to join in on this adventure.

After a drive through the desert, Cracker takes the trio to a boat on the river. He talks about how long this resort has been in business. Throughout the trip, Barney and Sheila are giving each other fuck eyes. When they arrive at Hoople’s place, Coral plays the welcoming committee and hands out leis to each of the travelers. Barney immediately locks onto the teenager.

At the bar, Dr. Martin bitches about the nasty water he’s drinking. Sheila calls everything (and has throughout the movie) “gauche” but in kind of an almost fascinated sort of way. Barney keeps up with the innuendos he’s been spouting that keep Sheila fascinated with him too. Someone asks about all the entertainment that they were promised. He drops the needle on a record and out comes Coral flailing about in a frantic dance. Dewey realizes his daughter is getting maybe a little too into her moves and gets so mad he breaks a glass in his bare hands.

This is kind of a weird movie already. We’ve already cruised through the first quarter of it. We have curious characters who have to kind of grift people to be able to survive. Cracker seems perfectly okay with the idea of conning people. Dewey and Coral obviously don’t like this, but when you have empty bellies, you do what you gotta do. The scene with the Hooples kind of provides a little bit of drama and desperation. Then we saw Cracker doing his thing and it’s all presented like a silly comedy. Now we have a tense thriller playing out in the lounge that potentially presents Barney as a potential threat to Coral’s perceived virginity. That scene ends with Dr. Martin telling Sheila that he can see her panting and drooling over Barney too. Then it’s back to Cracker going through Barney’s stuff, finding a bottle of hooch, drinking some, and then putting the bottle into the river to replace the missing liquid.

We’ve been bounced around three different genres in a matter of minutes and each scene almost feels like a completely different one than the last. We haven’t even seen a single gigantic knocker that all these women have.

Barney approaches Dewey and tells him he wants to buy the land. Dewey says the place isn’t for sale, but Barney knows better. He knows that the Hooples are flat-busted and he’s got a whole lot of money and will even overpay for this joint. Barney later pays off Cracker to go missing for a bit. He wants more time to convince Dewey to sell.

Speaking of Dewey… Sheila likes the drinks he makes at the lounge. Dr. Martin wants to leave immediately and is rather perturbed by Sheila’s antics while they’ve been on vacation. Sheila seemingly just wants to get laid as Dr. Martin doesn’t quite put out like she wants. Shit, she’ll take anyone to bed at this point.

I should mention one of the “acts” that happens at this “resort” is Babette running while carrying two torches and screeching like a howler monkey. She then climbs up to the top of a plateau off the shore of the river, does a dance with the torches, and finally dives into the river. She wears only a sarong and a lei. No one is particularly impressed with the act.

Cracker leaves and forces Dewey to have to put the trio up for the time being. Dewey realizes that this is all Barney’s doing. Barney is paying out massive amounts of cash for things. First, he wants more drinks from Dewey so he gives a big amount for everyone to get nice and sloshed. He then tips Babette $100 for her show. Dewey tells Babette she needs to be careful because Barney’s trying to buy everyone and woo them with that fat roll of his. Speaking of wooing and fat rolls, he also goes to work on Mrs. Ross.

I will say that Alaina Capri’s Sheila is definitely the most Russ Meyer thing in this whole movie. She reminds me a little bit of Erica Gavin’s Vixen. Every line she reads is dripping with sex. She also mixes things up. She makes a point to hurt Martin. She also makes a point to verbally attack Babette and call Dewey a broken-down sailor. Oh, and she also makes fun of Babette’s act.

We near the halfway point of this movie and suddenly this has smash cut into a Russ Meyer-style movie. Granted, it’s not a good one. Roger Ebert, in a review, said this was not among the higher-tier Meyer films. It’s clear this is not his best stuff. It’s pretty low budget, all things considered. I’m not too upset about the short runtime, but even when Babette Bardot’s been topless most of the movie, we’ve not really seen much of anything but side boob. Now we’re getting into the sex shenanigans so there’s at least that, but I’m not too sure we’re going to get the full monty that we might normally expect from Meyer.

Okay, back to the movie. While Barney makes his offer to Babette and even forces himself on her, Sheila is still stirring things up with Dewey. When he rebuffs her, yet again, Sheila turns her attention back to Barney. Dewey goes off to deal with something which leaves a chance for Barney to try buying Coral. He gives her a twenty-dollar bill to show him around the property.

Because this movie can’t mess around too long with anything, we move quickly onto the next plot point of this movie. Dewey and Babette hear a radio report that millionaire heir Lawrence Talbot III is still on the run. He was last seen with a young woman, which I think is presumed to be his girlfriend. Hearing about the missing heir gets Dewey’s motor running and he is just about to make love to Babette on the shore of the river when he hears a motorboat nearby. He tries to shoot his rifle to get the attention of what he assumes to be Talbot, but it only gets the attention of Coral who gives back Barney’s money and tells him the tour’s over.

The only thing Barney can think to do to get what he wants is to attempt to rape Coral. Yikes. Good news, though, it is Talbot in that motorboat. He goes ashore and stops Barney from doing something pretty goddamned awful with Coral. Everything seems to fall apart all at once. Barney tries raping a 16-year-old girl. Then pushes around Laurence Talbot III, another kid, before telling him he’s a cop from Missouri. Uh… What? Now Martin is slapping Sheila around too? Jesus Christ, everything has gone to shit here at Hoople’s Haven.

But then things get back to normal really fast too. Babette is cooking dinner and Sheila sashays up to her and tells her that she can’t turn anybody on. Dr. Martin and Dewey are close behind and it seems like they are just doing normal everyday shit. I mean, never mind that Martin was just beating the shit out of Sheila literally seconds ago and she’s not crying and no one seems all that upset about anything anymore. I feel like a whole chunk of this movie is just flat-out missing. Oh, yeah, and also in walks Coral, Barney, and Laurence. None of them seem to be all that shaken up over potential child molestation and physical altercations and what have you.

Jeepers, this movie is weird.

So there is a pretty funny joke here. Babette’s cooking is fairly notoriously bad. She is making chowder. The mere looks of the chowder make Lawrence sick. He eventually passes out. Babette says she’s never had someone pass out from simply smelling it. However, just before passing out, he was saying that he found Coral being attacked by someone on the beach, but that seems to just… pass. There’s no real investigation further into who was attacking the 16-year-old girl. Like everything else in this movie, it becomes kind of a non-issue in service of moving on to the next scene.

That next scene involves a couple important things… I guess. The first is that Martin comments to Dewey that Babette is quite the woman. Dewey says she’s a little bit too much woman for him most of the time. After Dewey leaves in a huff after Martin mentions how overly protective he seems to be of Coral, Babette asks Martin if she could get on his shoulders to wrestle against Sheila, who is riding Barney’s shoulders. This ends with Sheila kicking Martin in the face and causing him and Babette to tumble. This, somehow, kills Martin.

Someone has already buried Martin in a shallow grave. Dewey says that’s not good enough. He wants to get the authorities involved. Barney says that is only inviting a lot of trouble for him. Dewey doesn’t have a license to serve alcohol. On top of that, Babette’s topless show isn’t going to be well received either.

Why does Barney know this? Well, yes, he is, indeed, a Missouri cop. Exactly what he’s doing, why he’s trying to buy everything, and why he is trying to put the make on every woman is completely unclear up to this point, but at least we know he really is the fuzz he claimed to be.

Meanwhile, Laurence and Coral are getting along pretty well. The 60s love ballad score and their frolicking on the beach tells me so. Meanwhile, Barney and Sheila are alone so he wants her to work for him. Basically, he is on the run with a whole lotta cash that he apparently stole. He cannot let anyone leave this resort. The moment anyone gets to Yuma, attention will be brought back to Hoople’s place. She’s supposed to help with making sure Talbot’s boat stays right where it is.

Sheila comes on to Dewey while he figures out that Talbot’s boat is simply out of gas. Speaking of Talbot, he and Coral continue to do sexy fun time with grab-ass on the beach. When Babette catches Barney spying on Coral and Talbot, he literally socks her in the jaw so hard, she’s knocked the hell out.

Barney tells Dewey that Coral and Talbot are playing that grab-ass on the beach so he finds them and begins attacking the rich kid. Babette eventually pulls him off the kid and brings him to his senses. Just then Cracker is coming back to the Hoople place, but Barney shoots him. It doesn’t kill the old man right away. Cracker is able to get the boat back to shore. Cracker tells Dewey and Talbot that the cop stole unclaimed money from the state of Missouri.

As Dewey runs to find Barney, Babette attacks Barney, but he overpowers her and takes her hostage long enough to get Dewey off his back. He then takes Talbot and Coral hostage on the boat and plans to make his big getaway. When they sail off, Sheila shoots at Barney for leaving her behind. She misses, and Barney shoots and kills her.

Barney tells Coral that they will be on the run together after he tosses Talbot overboard. Talbot then attacks Barney and all three go into the water. The boat, now without a pilot, circles back around and runs right into Barney’s head killing him. Dewey figures things are going to be a whole lot better now that they will have some extra cash from the eventual son-in-law.

And everyone who isn’t a Hoople or the daughter’s new rich boyfriend is dead while the family looks to a brighter future.

This is a weird ass movie, man. I know I really cannot call this a story because there really isn’t a plot. At least, I should say there isn’t any kind of cohesive, sensible plot. It’s not even all that sexy of a movie either. Sure, Babette Bardot, Alaina Capri, and Adele Rein are incredibly pretty and certainly voluptuous, but there’s nothing really here that you would expect from Russ Meyer, King of the Nudie Cuties.

I mentioned that you do see Babette’s side boob and a little more from her when she’s in the water, but not enough to really feel like you’re seeing anything. You see some butts. But I’m not sure this is a movie that would need to be edited at all to air on broadcast television these days. This could play as the CBS Friday Night Movie almost entirely unedited. There isn’t even any hard language in this.

While there are a lot of things to look at, even as chaste as it comes off for this being a Russ Meyer flick, and there is enough innuendo to garner a few cheeky chuckles, I really cannot recommend anyone watch Common Law Cabin. Meyer completionists will want to see it. In terms of this being one of only two films for either Babette Bardot or Alaina Capri, that is somewhat interesting, but it really doesn’t work in any solid, quality manner. The movie is too short to have the plot and subplots it has. It’s not trying to make any kind of statement that Vixen or even Beyond the Valley of the Dolls might have to say and it’s not anywhere nearly as interesting and engaging as Supervixens or as funny as Up! I don’t think I even need to bring up Faster, Pussycat to say this is nowhere near the same league as that absolute classic. So, this is a definite hard pass and a little bit of a downer of a way to start this new month of Russ Meyer classics.

Next week, I have some faith that things will get back on the right track. We’re going to back up a bit to the year 1965 and look at the movie that directly preceded the aforementioned Faster, Pussycat (and even explores some similar themes). Come back here on September 8 for the best title of them all in this month’s lineup – Motorpsycho!

I’m sure it will be a gas!