Happy Good Friday and Easter, my Enemaniacs.

Now, some people might celebrate Easter with a family get together. Normally, people are sitting around eating ham and enjoying the fresh spring that just sprung. Some years, it’s the fourth Sunday in March. In others, it could be as late as the fourth Sunday in April. Do not ask me why this is. It’s some weird old rule set like a thousand years ago. But either way, Good Friday (which, all things considered, doesn’t seem like it would be “Good,” but, again, don’t ask me) is the fabled day on which Jesus Christ was crucified. Easter, two days later on Sunday, is the day that Jesus rose and ascended to heaven.

I bet you’d think that because this is B-Movie Enema, I’m-a go with the whole “zombie Jesus” angle, right? Nope! I’m going bikers. Oh yes… 70s bikersploitation, baby! This week, I’m reviewing the 1972 action/drama J.C., directed by and starring William (Bill) F. McGaha.

McGaha (whose name looks like he’s leading a political movement called Great America Health Again) directed four movies. The first of these, Bad Girls for the Boys, sounds like a movie I might want to check out at some point. That was a 1966 sex comedy. Considering the description saying it’s about a rich swinging bachelor escaping with his married buddy to avoid women shitting all over their fun, I’m gonna guess this might be somewhere in the neighborhood of the 60s “nudie cutie” subgenre. Apparently, it’s avialable in its entirety on YouTube. So… Maybe 2027?

McGaha followed that up with 1968’s The Speed Lovers. Now, this one is a sports drama about stock car racers. It definitely looks as though this was situated somewhere between the big-budget 60s racing dramas like Le Mans and Grand Prix and the carsploitation flicks that would come later in the 70s. Along with McGaha, the movie starred Fred Lorenzen playing himself. If you’re not sure who Lorenzen is, he won the 1965 Daytona 500 and finished in the top five seven of the nine times he ran in the race. He was also the first NASCAR driver to ever win $100,000 in a single season.

J.C. proved to be the third film McGaha wrote and directed (he wrote the previous films in his directorial career). The following year, he directed one final film, 1973’s The Shrink. IMDb does not list a writer for the movie, so it’s possible he also wrote that one too. It’s listed as another comedy like Bad Girls, and I wonder if it’s possibly another sex comedy about a shrink getting it on with his patients. Considering the subject matter with Bad Girls taking place in Georgia, his making a movie about stock car racing, and J.C. being about the title character being born into a hardcore Southern Baptist family, I have to think McGaha largely made regional films for local theaters and drive-ins.

As with The Speed Lovers bringing in a celebrated NASCAR driver, J.C. also has a well-known name. For this movie, it’s the great character actor, Slim Pickens. Pickens is a guy who has a lot of connections to shit I dearly love. For one, he’s in two of the greatest comedies ever made – Blazing Saddles and Dr. Strangelove. In the former, he’s part of that great campfire scene in which characters are eating the most musical of fruits, beans. In the latter, he’s best known for riding the bomb down into Russia like a rodeo bull in one of the most well-known moments in 20th century film.

However, I knew him best at a young age as the voice of old B.O.B. in Disney’s 1979 sci-fi adventure The Black Hole. I shit you not, I would watch that movie two or three times every day when I was little. It was a movie that I’m sure my brothers hated that we recorded off cable early on, after buying a VCR. There is no part of that movie I don’t know like the back of my own eyelids. I fuckin’ love old B.O.B.

J.C. begins with two things that set this stage for us. First, a pretty goddamn mellow thinker of a song called “Man Who Don’t Know Where He’s Going,” which, effectively, sets up that J.C. here is a bit of a drifter. That brings us to the second thing going on here. J.C. was supposed to be out helping his friend on a construction site, but he just can’t do it. Oh, brother, do I understand that… We’ve all had those days when I just can’t. He comes home saddened and frustrated with himself. His ever-supportive girlfriend, Kim McKool (yes, that is her credited last name), wants to find out why he’s so bummed out, but he just doesn’t want to talk about it. He will sit right outside the toilet and sulk, though. That’s the case even when she wants to show off their “baby,” a pot plant she’s growing inside. He does reveal that he just couldn’t handle the scene. A redneck hassled him and said he looked like a girl with his long hair. I mean… Never mind that bushy ass beard, but this is the South after all… Maybe he looks good enough.

At least he smoked out with his buddy on their break. When the man came back to tell them to get back to work or get the hell out of there, J.C. just fucks off. Like, he just up and quits, man.

But let’s talk about this setting of J.C. and Kim’s apartment. Holy shit, this is all telling us a story, isn’t it? Look at that picture above the previous paragraph. There’s a guitar, standard for a hippie’s joint. An Uncle Sam poster, probably for irony. Painted on the wall are a couple of trippy things, but the one I want to point out is the one just above J.C.’s head – “A friend with weed is a friend indeed” scrawled over what appears to be a yellow tree that may be on fire? Or maybe that’s a joint ablaze? I dunno. The red bits look like it’s pointing down at J.C., while the yellow and blue bits seem to be growing out of his head. Is this his crown of thorns, mayhaps?

My favorite elements of the set decoration, though, can be found in the bathroom, and I choose to apply both to what goes on in the bathroom. First, “Santa Sucks.” That’s it. No further need to elaborate. Santa dropped off a log last Christmas and didn’t flush. He sucks. Second, we have Smokey the Bear. Naturally, he’s reminding us that only we can start forest fires. Now, maybe the “Smokey” part is a pot reference, sure, but I like to think that J.C. can light a forest on fire with his farts while he’s dumping out last night’s enchiladas.

Those damn enchiladas…

I’m glad to see that I’m a bit of a 21st century J.C. because I also do all my best thinking while taking a shit. While Kim and his construction buddy, Mike, who was also fired when J.C. fucked off (he says it’s because the construction site wanted him to shave his beard, but I suspect he got let go when the guy he vouched for just left his job), go to the Unemployment Office, J.C. sits on his porcelain throne and reads the newspaper. The paper is full of bad news and injustices. People killed a black baby. People feel as though the country ain’t as free as it used to be. Voters are being told to save the country, but they seem apathetic about doing the hard work. So on and so forth. Mike even says J.C. needs to find whatever it is that he can get down with.

I think this movie is actually kind of setting J.C. up to be a character that, frankly, we see a lot around the country nearly 55 years later. Kim largely dreams. Maybe she doesn’t really want to do normal work, but she actually has a desire to be a breadwinner, but is stuck in a system where she has to work a normal job, which is not easy for a dreamer (trust me). Mike, the guy J.C. smoked out with at the construction site, is kind of a leaf on the wind. He’s a little bit of a jack of all trades, so he can float from one job to the next and never really seems to get down. He also doesn’t seem to necessarily live outside his means.

J.C., on the other hand, is a total doomer. He sees that the world is broken by just opening up the paper while he’s taking a shit. He knows that people are lost, but feels helpless ot do anything about it. Hell, he can’t even deal with his own issues. He’s been black-pilled to the point of only finding any sense of happiness tuning in and dropping out. So while Kim and his buddy are out there trying to make a few bucks, he can only lie in bed, in his underwear, and smoke out. On this particular day, though, he has such a bad trip from his joint that he’s barely responsive to Kim when she comes home, and he has a strange dream about a giant gear, two temptresses (Kim and some other chick), a giant weed plant, and a desire to get out of this place. He does finally come around to make love to her.

In his ratty-ass whitey tighties.

Those damn enchiladas created a blow-out there, buddy! Kino Lorber knew what they were doing. On the menu, they played a little bit of the opening with that lite hippie rock banger “Man Who Don’t Know Where He’s Going” and then cut in some southerners calling him an N-word lover, though beeping out the N-word because… I dunno. The words in the movie, just let it go. Anyway, then it cuts to his underwears with that hole that might actually be kind of perfect for him to poop through. I couldn’t wait to get ot that moment.

What I didn’t know was that it would serve as the end of the gratuitously long cold open to the movie. Well-played, J.C., well played.

After the credits, it’s like a wholly different movie. Now it’s more like the typical bikersploitation movie. We have a big bonfire party going on with guys getting stoned and drunk and screaming and playing folk songs on the guitar. J.C. and Mike seemed like stoners. These guys seem like they are about to knock over a liquor store for the $5.69 in the till.

But here is when J.C. finds the thing that he can get down with. It starts with Mike having a bit of a freakout. Then, J.C. starts in on seeing the big winking eye in the sky that is always looking down on all of them. He thinks the eye in the sky is tasking him for something greater. He says they need to spread love, stop the wars, and feed the hungry. He says his vision showed him that they need to split and be free and spread their love and good vibes. He also says they all need to follow him. Nothing like that guy at your party who is either too drunk, too stoned, or both, suddenly breaking out in some sort of messiah complex by saying, “I’ve got black friends!”

And, yes, he says that because he sees the eye in the sky, he isn’t racist because he’s got black friends. Those rednecks and all the other people around them don’t have no black people in their groups. Okay, yes… It’s weird that he brings race into this speech of his. I’m sure Mike is a little nervous about where this part of J.C.’s ramblings will go, but he’s largely right. Remember, this was made in the South during a time in which they had been dragged into modern times with Civil Rights, kicking and screaming. I think some of the states down there still didn’t allow interracial marriage at this time. He is right that they should be more accepting of all kinds of people, black, white, short hair, long hair, etc. Also, this is the land of the Southern Baptists too. What he’s saying, while in a stoned stupor, might sound a little extreme to some, it will definitely sound blasphemous to others. I wonder if this was a little controversial to the normies who might have wandered into the drive-in where this was playing in 1972.

J.C. points out a town down the road, a small, stagnant Alabama town that is loaded with bible-thumpin’ zealots. It’s a pretty wide-open wound of his. He smacks around one of the guys he rides with when he makes fun of the place by saying it’s all gun racks and overalls and hillbillies. J.C. says it’s been 10 years since he went back to that town. He wants to see his sister, but more importantly, he wants the town to see they came in peace, but they will all know J.C. was there when they ride out.

Unfortunately, this is the end of where the movie has interesting ideas and hints at possibly having a larger point to make. From here on out, it’s all downhill.

When J.C.’s gang comes riding into town, it’s something of a spectacle. Nobody in Mason, Alabama, has ever seen a motorcycle gang in real life before. It’s largely pointing and gawking from the townsfolk. It’s a little bit of contentiousness from the town’s shopowner, Mr. Nabors, but I also say this is somewhat warranted. Sure, he recognizes that the only guy specifically looking for Carlton Wages and his wife would be J.C. Masters. After all, Carlton married J.C.’s sister, Miriam. So, that’s not so bad. However, half the gang acts like fucking assholes to Nabors. They ask him where they can pick up the key to the city, or whether they use toilets or outhouses. They act like total savages while trying to call the small town people themselves savages.

In a way, I feel like we’re kind of manufacturing instant animosity between the two different types of people. If J.C.’s whole thing is to go out there and change the opinion of people who are uptight and racist and mean people, I don’t think the plan should be to have your people rattle the cages and instantly come out swinging by belittling the people you are trying to change the opinion of. Mr. Clean, the bald biker of the group, says there is no difference in character between the bikers and the people like Nabors. The only difference he sees is the fact that Nabors has a chicken dinner on Sundays while they eat sardines. That’s a fair enough point, but it’s delivered in a way that is full of animosity and meant to antagonize Nabors to the point that he lashes out at J.C. for the way he left town.

Nabors also calls Mike and his girlfriend, Neffie, N-words (no, not “nuclear,” the other one). I appreciate Kim being super McKool about it and telling him that they aren’t that word. No! They are “Negros.” Sigh… Okay, I’m only sort of joking. She corrects Nabors on the word by saying that “negro” is in the dictionary, not the other N-word. She calls them a “black man and woman” and lectures him about how the Civil Rights Movement occurred. That’s a good thing. However, it is a good thing that is still charged with a twinge of anger from both sides, which wasn’t necessary to lead with. I’d even possibly blame J.C.’s crew for antagonizing him into blurting that word out (even if he really really wanted to anyway).

This seems counter to J.C.’s mission to show how good his people are, but, then again, it does seem to be very “Christian” to roll up on someone different than them and immediately antagonize and spew vitriol. If J.C. is setting out to create a new form of Christianity with all that cuckoo bananas bullshit he was spouting off at the party the night before, he’s probably telling your Congresspeople how to vote on trans rights in the 2020s now. I mean Nabors’ version of Christianity sucks a big set of balls too, but this is like watching two different kinds of dogs just bark at each other instead of sniffing each other’s butts.

I don’t even know what that means, but I know I’m right.

J.C. arrives at Miriam’s place and asks her if they can sack out there for a couple of nights. Miriam is happy to let the guys sleep in the garage, and the girls can use another part of the house. That’s when J.C. reminds his sister that these are all grown people. If you ride together, you’re sleeping together. Miriam is not so sure about this, but that’s only because religion sometimes reduces adults to children who can’t handle the discussion or possibility of sex beyond procreation.

Now, the real meat of any kind of drama in this movie is set up here. J.C. does not get along with Miriam’s husband, Carlton. I’m gonna guess this has something to do with leaving the town and not being religious or whatever. Even Miriam is a little scared of what Carlton might think of all this.

And there’s a good reason for that. We meet Sheriff Grady Caldwell and his Deputy, Dan Martin. Caldwell is Slim Pickens, who drops an N-word there, but more on that in a minute. I want to focus on Dan Martin. That’s Burr DeBenning. He’s known to sci-fi schlock fans and MSTies as Ted Nelson from The Incredible Melting Man. I can never remember his name, despite it being a very strange name, but I can never forget his face. In fact, when I saw him I shouted, “AHATCHKA!” If you know you know.

Sheriff Caldwell, while mostly looking out for having newspapers up his ass for running the bikers out of town, is concerned about the safety of the bikers. You see, they brought a couple of black folks. That will likely set Carlton off. He hopes that maybe he and Deputy Martin can convince them scoot on out of town before trouble pops up. Dan knew J.C. growing up. Caldwell reminds Dan that he beat the shit out of him in high school. When they go to hassle J.C., they mention that bringing a colored boy into town is only inviting danger. I’m beginning to think that Mason is a sundown town. The meeting is contentious, but J.C. says that if people come around to mess with them, they won’t run. The Sheriff just tells J.C. to remember what he told them.

It instantly goes bad. Later that day, Carlton is ready to smash Mike’s head with a lead pipe. Aside from weird sound editing that creates such a strange thing that Mike says I can’t even figure it out after listening to it multiple times, I also find it strange that the N-word is used with reckless abandon, but the movie constantly falls short or edits out “motherfucker” from the dialog track. Anyway, Carlton wants everyone to get off his property. That’s when J.C. shows up and wins him over with the power of his shirtless whiteness… and the fact that his sister actually bought the place with the money their father left her in his will.

When Carlton runs off, J.C. tells Mike that they’re in trouble. Carlton will likely try to kill them. Um… Excuse me? Let me get this straight… This weird beard knew what the others around town also know about Carlton? You know… that he has the propensity to kill? And and and… J.C. still wanted his people to stay with his sister, who also happens to be this madman’s wife? I’m not too sure, but J.C. might be a fucking moron.

And sure enough, Carlton has gathered himself a posse to run J.C. and his gang off his property.

J.C. and Miriam chat about the life he leads. He explains that they aren’t criminals. They ride because they want to be free and they are all looking for something. One of them thinks it’s a religion. One of them is looking for a way to die. Whatever it is they are all looking for, the main thing is they just don’t want to answer to anyone. Hell, he even says they don’t cause no trouble. But if trouble is brought to them, they will stand up for themselves. Huh… You know, I kinda feel like the kerfuffle that will likely lead to one or all of them dying by the end of this movie was started because THEY decided to kick the hornet’s nest by fucking with Mr. Nabors. Nabors sucked, sure, but hornets suck too. Sometimes it’s best to leave sleeping dogs lie.

During this whole chat with his sister, there are a few things that come to light. Yes, J.C. has some unresolved issues that led to him being this hippie type. It’s partly him being a free thinker, and partly issues with his father, his upbringing, this stifling little town, etc. His father always called him a prophet because he would have these recurring nightmares of an eye in the sky looking down on him. That ties back to that earlier scene when he decides to lead his people out into the world. But there’s also a woman he left behind when he left town.

We learn about Rachel. Now, earlier, J.C. talks about how he doesn’t really “love” Kim. He lives with her. They have sex, but it’s more casual from his point of view than from Kim’s. Rachel was the only woman J.C. ever loved. He left her behind, and Rachel has never forgotten him. In fact, she never married. She did see him come into town, and she’s largely stayed away. However, J.C. ponders cutting off his beard and going to see her. He then kind of teases Miriam that he might even fall in love with Rachel all over again and have a dozen kids, something Miriam says he should do. So there’s this kind of push and pull between a standard life that has roots in the ground, and the more free-wheeling life out there on the road, but the latter possibly does not give J.C. as much fulfillment.

Oh, and then one of J.C.’s guys, the guy he beat up for making fun of his hometown earlier, tries to rape Miriam. I am not kidding. He tries putting the moves on Miriam and does not even try to prevent her from calling out to him so he can arrive in time to kick the shit out of the dude all over again. I think I like to think that this is all about how different J.C. is from the other free love, hippie bikers. I might yet be proven wrong, but I also think this was just there because, for some reason, McGaha bought enough film for a 100-minute movie and, goddammit, he’s gonna use all that film.

But what’s the resolution to this slack-jawed fuckface who attempted to rape Miriam?

He calmly approaches her, kneels beside her, scares the shit out of her, and then just simply apologizes. He didn’t mean nothing by it… No… He just got carried away! She’s a pretty girl with pretty southern blonde hair! It’s all cool.

AND SHE JUST SMILES IN RETURN AT THE COMPLIMENT.

But wait! There’s more! He tells her that they’re just used to taking what they want. He asks her if she understands that. She doesn’t, but that DOES NOT STOP HER FROM LETTING HIM KISS HER AND LETTING HIM MAKE LOVE TO HER.

But wait! THERE’S MORE!

Wait… Really?!? There’s more to this?!? How can there be… Oh, fuck it.

Anyway, J.C. and Mr. Clean decide to have a conversation about what went down. Mr. Clean’s like, “I don’t care if you kill a man, I am here to protect and love you no matter what.” J.C. then says he DOES NOT BLAME THE DUDE BECAUSE HE KNOWS HIS SISTER. Mr. Clean even says that Miriam is “leading him on a little bit.”

Okay, seriously, this movie can go fuck itself in the tailpipe. You know, I was gonna end this review by saying that while the movie isn’t very good, there are interesting elements that could be gleaned by watching it. The fact that this is an independent movie made for regional and counter-culture theaters is kind of interesting. The Kino Lorber Blu-ray really looks gorgeous. Like, seriously, there are parts of this movie that look like it was made on filmstock in the 2020s. There is a concept here of someone being so distressed over current events that they are basically left to feel completely impotent in the face of the evils of the world. It’s one thing to stand by morals or principles, but it’s something else to actually create change in the world.

But. No. Do not watch this movie. Don’t bother with taking any kind of interest in what happens in the final 30 or so minutes. Yeah, David goes into town to buy more beer for everyone (why NO ONE would think twice, based on the attitudes of the members of this town on full display, about sending the only black man in the group into a small Alabama town is beyond me), and gets arrested and roughed up by Sheriff Caldwell and Deputy Martin. They want to know who all is smoking pot out at the Wages place. Don’t give a second thought to finding out whether or not all of J.C.’s gang is going to die or not when they opt to bust David out of the sheriff’s station. Don’t give two thoughts about J.C.’s backstory about how his father was a cult leader and a self-proclaimed prophet, expecting J.C. to take his place and lead them all to the promised land, only for him to leave. None of this is worth two shits in the grand scheme of things after the scene when the dude forces himself on Miriam.

Look, I don’t mind how often this movie uses derogatory language toward black folks. With the location of this movie, the closeness to the Civil Rights Movement, and the general attitudes of people like those in that small town in the South, I think it’s all fair game for the story they wanted to tell. Considering that this town is likely to lynch a few black folks unlucky to be stuck around the town or what have you, sure, it’s unsavory, but it’s building a case against these people. The villains are not poorly drawn. A little cartoonish? Maybe, but that’s okay for a movie that isn’t really trying to be subtle about its free-wheeling thesis. And, yeah, it’s a movie that’s a little too long, but there are actors in this like Slim Pickens and Joanna Moore (playing Marian, who was also in movies like A Touch of Evil). It’s a real movie, and I can’t deny the fact that it got made with some production value, even if this is a very angry movie and sometimes isn’t exactly sure what it wants or is trying to say.

Buuuut, the concept of a hero, someone who proclaims to be some sort of prophet, leading a gang to be compassionate and force change in a terrible world, saying he knows his sister, and she more or less had it coming to be raped? Fuck off. Fuck all the way off. There was no indication that she was flirting with anyone. She largely talked only to J.C. until this guy asked her to show him around the place. Then he’s got his arm around her and then decides to “take what he wanted” from her. She didn’t like that; that should be the end of it. Fuck you, J.C. Stand up for your goddamn sister, dude.

The movie ends with J.C. leading his gang to their deaths. He creates a stir outside so everyone will be distracted, so he can break David out. During all this, Sheriff Caldwell created a posse of fat yokels and pig fuckers. They start shooting and kill the riders. After J.C. breaks him out, Deputy Martin shoots and kills David. Martin then turns his attention to David, who is inside the police station with Rachel, begging for his life. J.C. gets the drop on the Deputy and strangles him to death.

J.C. mourns over the bodies of the gang members he effectively led to their deaths. He goes to the remaining members of the gang and tells them to beat cheeks, and all the others are dead. Mr. Clean says he won’t leave without J.C., but J.C. says he’s gotta get the girls out of there because the posse will kill them. He goes back to Miriam’s, and she tells him the guys coming down the road are coming to kill him. He delivers one final sermon, and Carlton’s posse finishes the job and finally ends this movie.

Welp… Happy fuckin’ Good Friday, right? I can certainly say this movie ruined my evening. I don’t have anything more to say about this movie. But in seven days, I will rise again. Oh yes, I shall be resurrected. You hear me, my masses, I shall be released! Ye, for I shall be called upon by Joe Don Baker and Jim Kelly to go in search of Golden Needles.

Whatever. See you next week. Or not. I don’t care. Sigh. These damn enchiladas.