Category: 2000s

xXx (2002)

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Fuck yeah, bro!  I finally get to talk about my favorite pastime…  XXX!  Porn!  Gross people doing gross shit to each other!!!

What’s that?

Vin Diesel?  Asia Argento?  Tattoos?  Okay, well, I mean I guess Vin Diesel is okay.  Not sure I want to see his schlong, but Asia Argento?  I wanna see what tattoos she has in places that aren’t usually available to the naked (heh) eye.  She’s probably into some weird shit too…

Say what? Continue reading “xXx (2002)” →

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

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Remember when Lindsay Lohan was, perhaps, one of the biggest young, rising stars in Hollywood?  Also, she was really super hot?

Of course you do.  What you probably don’t remember all that well, is that her rising star and super hot lady thing lasted an extremely short period in time.  It was like a frozen moment that we all remember being at least a little longer than the one or two years that she possessed those titles.  We look back on that time in which she starred in Mean Girls and had a couple really nice photo spreads in your Maxims, Details, or whatever as if we’re looking at a mosquito in amber . Continue reading “I Know Who Killed Me (2007)” →

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

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Earlier this summer, Spider-Man 3 turned 10 years old.  It’s really odd to think about that.  The third of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man Trilogy is only 10 years old.

Since the release of this movie, ALL of the Avengers movies have been released – among all the other outlying Marvel movies.  DC has now created four movies in their own expanded universe.  There have been 7 X-Men movies – including an entire trilogy of Wolverine movies and a completely rebooted X-Men series.

And as of today, Spider-Man himself has been rebooted twice. Continue reading “Spider-Man 3 (2007)” →

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

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Sigh.

You people suck.  I mean it.  You guys are real assholes.

A couple months ago, I put out the call to action for B-Movie Enema Facebook followers to vote for what my May 2017 theme was going to be.  You had marvelous choices.  You could have picked more 80s horror (I subscribe to an entire channel on YouTube that I wanted to pull from).  You could have picked Cannon Films.  You could have chosen the chance to revisit movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  Hell, you could have picked to send me to the Sharknado series!  Shark-fucking-nado! Continue reading “Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)” →

Spirit Camp (2009)

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March, er, marches on, and next up on my tour of shitty 2000s horror thanks to Amazon Prime is 2009’s Spirit Camp.  Admittedly, whenever I hear the title I think of the 1980s slasher movie involving cheerleaders called Cheerleader Camp.  While Cheerleader Camp had Leif Garrett and Lucinda Dickey and Betsy Russell and Teri Weigel, Spirit Camp has no one I recognize…

Wait…  Roxy Vandiver.  That sounds familiar.  When I watched the trailer for the movie there was this girl with bright blonde hair with super short punk girl cut.  She looks familiar.  I mean, instantly, I thought “Oh that’s the girl I would be really into for no goddamn good reason and it would be a horrible idea for me to be into her.”  But something was itchy in the back of my mind.  Wait.  Itchy?  Wigs make your head itch sometimes… Continue reading “Spirit Camp (2009)” →

The Beckoning (2006)

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Now that I’ve washed my hands of “Full Moon Fever” last month, it’s time to move forward with B-Movie Enema.

For this month, I had to wonder what it was I would do for movies.  Seems like January had a series of movies that had bad things happen to good girls.  February was dedicated to Charles Band and his Full Moon Features.  I know April will be Phoebe Cates Month.

Oh…  Spoiler Alert!  April is Phoebe Cates Month. Continue reading “The Beckoning (2006)” →

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle2 Comments

Shit.
Shit.
Motherfucker.
Goddammit.
Shit.
Monkey dick.
Motherdammit.
Godshitting monkeyfucker nutdick.

Full Moon Fever continues.  Last week, I had a good time watching the cult classic Puppet Master.  I felt like I really got to see something good for the first time in 2017.  But I just couldn’t stop there, could I? Continue reading “The Gingerdead Man (2005)” →

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

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Initially, I had planned on letting Halloween come and go and pat myself on the back for a successful month of October featuring some vampire movies.  I thought, “Hey, I had a theme, I have a movie coming up that will run parallel to Doctor Strange in the first Friday of November, and I even have an Election Day Special planned.  I’ll just ride out Halloween, a job well done.”  Then I watched the Halloween movies to celebrate the holiday.

Suddenly, all those repressed memories of Halloween: Resurrection resurfaced and I got mad.  Really, REALLY mad. Continue reading “Halloween: Resurrection (2002)” →