Assassination (1987)

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Ah Cannon Films, how I’m glad to be back in your warm embrace.

And what’s this?  It’s a Charles Bronson picture this time?  Oh boy.  I’m ready to see some people get their fucking teeth kicked in by a geriatric!

I’ve covered lots of Cannon Films on this blog, but I’ve only covered a couple movies from their big Chuck duo – Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris.  Those two previous films, The Delta Force and Firewalker, both belong to Chuck Norris.  It was often said, as a bit of an inside thing, that the Cannon Films casting often looked at whatever goofy movie Golan and Globus wanted to make and then separated them into the two Chuck piles.  Some were better for Chuck Norris’ skill set while others were better for Bronson.  I’m guessing the movies that needed a more mobile action star who might be able to be more hands on with dishing out justice to punks went to Norris.  Then the ones that seemed more suitable for a Clint Eastwood type went to Bronson.  After all, by the time Bronson started making tons of Cannon Films, he was in his 50s and seemed much older than Norris anyway. Continue reading “Assassination (1987)” →

Girl House (2014)

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Looks who’s back in this shit saddle again!

Welcome to the 101st B-Movie Enema entry.  After spending the better part of the last, like, three months on hiatus while another project I’m a part of, Film Seizure, was launched and sailed on its own, I’m ready to come back home and begin the next hundred Enemas by returning to my bread and butter: Girls, Slashers, Dumbness, Canadian Horror, and Girl Boobs.

So, that brings us to 2014’s Girl House directed by Trevor Matthews.  And I bring that up because I first saw this movie on one of the Showtime channels called Showtime Women.  They had this bumper before the movie talking about movies made by women for women.  So I thought, “Oh, okay, a lady made this movie.  That might bode well.”  But it is directed by Mr. Matthews, written by Nick Gordon, and produced by Matthews, Gordon, and Cory Neal – a guy who is so much a guy, he has two guy first names as his full name.  It is also shot and edited by guys too.  That’s odd, but maybe the movie is about something that would be geared toward women, that would be… Continue reading “Girl House (2014)” →

Captain America (1990)

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Holy shit…  This is the 100th post for B-Movie Enema.  Yowzers.  How am I going to celebrate?

Fuckin’ America.

I’ve already looked at one Captain America movie way back in May 2016.  So why am I double dipping?  Because Cap is my A-1 Super Guy.  He fights for freedom and awesomeness.

And also… America.  Fuckin’ pure America.  Pure like Budweiser changing their name to America. Continue reading “Captain America (1990)” →

The Punisher (1989)

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Frank Castle…  It’s the A-1 super bad ass of the Marvel Universe.  He is a marksman from the U.S. Marines who also trained with the Navy Seals.  Basically, name some group in the military, and Castle probably had something to do with it.

When he returned from service, he was excited to come home to his wife and children.  However, while picnicking with them, tragedy happened.  A mob deal went sour and the shootout resulted in Castle’s family being caught in the middle and killed.  He vowed to destroy every criminal and became known as The Punisher. Continue reading “The Punisher (1989)” →

The Fantastic Four (1994)

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The Fantastic Four is Marvel Comics’ “first family”.  Without them, there literally is no Marvel.  They were the brainchild of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and launched in 1961 to capitalize on the re-emergence of superhero popularity in comic books that had waned by the late 1950s.

The Fantastic Four was comprised of leader Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) who could stretch like rubber, Susan Storm (Invisible Girl) who could turn herself invisible, The Thing  (Ben Grimm) who was a hulking rock monster, and Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) who was both Susan’s brother and able to light himself on fire.  They treated each other as family and even argued like one too.  It was the first real example of a team of superheroes who didn’t always get along.  Despite the overall high sci-fi type of tales they would tell, Lee and Kirby had created something that had a realistic flavor to the characters and their interactions. Continue reading “The Fantastic Four (1994)” →

The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)

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Marvel Comics…  Man, what more can I possibly say about how awesome they are?  Obviously, they know what they are doing with their movies.  Over the past 20 years, Marvel has, for the most part, cranked out great superhero movie after great superhero movie.  Starting with 1998’s Blade all the way up to today’s Thor: Ragnarok, no other movie studio has come close to recreating their source material into a major motion picture.

However, there was about 20 years before the release of Blade that things were pretty lean for Marvel getting their intellectual properties into movies.  So, I’ll be looking at four of these attempts this month.  There’s no better place to start than right here with The Incredible Hulk Returns. Continue reading “The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)” →

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

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I have a confession to make, and I don’t think when I reveal it, I will be the only one who shares this feeling.

I freaking love Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

For some, that’s heresy.  “A Halloween movie without Michael Myers?!?  No, sir!  I will not have it!”  Well, the truth is, the original movie, a masterpiece that excelled beyond most people’s expectations, was never meant to have an entire franchise centering around lead antagonist Michael Myers.  Really, John Carpenter only wanted to tell his own version of the boogey man.  He and producer Debra Hill did conceive a sequel that would continue the story of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), but when approached by Universal Studios for a third installment, Carpenter said he’d only agree to it if it was not connected to the first two films at all. Continue reading “Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)” →

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

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I’ve covered Leatheface.  Jason Voorhees popped up a couple weeks ago.  Freddy Krueger even haunted our nightmares last week.  Now it’s time to introduce you to Angela.

Who’s Angela?  Well, she was the star of a series of slasher flicks derivative of the original Friday the 13th film.  She first appeared in this week’s feature, Sleepaway Camp.  And in no way do I expect this movie to end with any kind of twist ending whatsoever.

This is the type of movie I fucking loved when I was a kid.  It’s a movie that placed kids in peril.  The majority of the cast are kids of obvious young ages.  I don’t believe any of the kids are meant to be older than 16.  While there are plenty of adults around to be victims, the vast majority of kills are young kids.  Like real young. Continue reading “Sleepaway Camp (1983)” →