Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned that this might be one of the very worst span of four weeks during one summer movie slate ever? It started with July’s Jaws: The Revenge and Superman IV: The Quest of Peace, and now ends with one of the more spectacular Cannon Films failures, Masters of the Universe.
The origin of how this movie came about takes root from the Mattel smash toy hit of the same name. Trust me, when I was little, everyone had He-Man toys. We’d walk around and ask each other if they want to play “He-Mans” and usually had our figures in tow at all times. We fucking loved this shit. What’s funny is that the toys were super cheaply made. For the most part, every figure had the same overly muscular body spray-painted different colors with different heads and different accessories or attachments. When you have a bunch of of the very same body for every male figure, it makes production costs quite a bit lower and gives you much more of a profit when these things sold like crazy hotcakes. Continue reading “Masters of the Universe (1987)”
What’s this? Another utterly disappointing fourth film in a franchise to be released in July of 1987? You bet it is!
In a span of four weeks in the middle of the summer of 1987, moviegoers had to be subjected to Jaws: The Revenge from Universal, this week’s feature, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and Masters of the Universe. The latter two being massively popular intellectual properties for young kids – both released by Cannon Films.
That’s fucking depressing to know that much shit flew out of screens into your face in such a short period of time. Continue reading “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)”
Whoa-ho boy. It’s been far too long since I last talked about a Cannon Films/Chuck Norris action flick, and I think now’s as good a time as any to revisit the 80s’ greatest hero.
For this week, I decided to cover the one Chuck Norris movie I’ve seen more than any other – Firewalker. When I was a kid, this movie was on HBO or some other cable channel ALL THE TIME. It’s just a good old fashioned Chuck Norris flick that tries so hard to be Indiana Jones. Also Academy Award Winner Lou Gossett is there too. And Melody Anderson who I think almost every guy my age had a crush on, thanks in no small part to Flash Gordon. Continue reading “Firewalker (1986)”
Welcome back to B-Movie Enema. Your weekly dose of bad movies, and sweet baby Jesus, do we have what will sure be a doozy. Not only are we jumping back into the Cannon Films library, but we’re going to be looking at a Chuck Norris classic.
Not just any Chuck Norris classic, either… The mother of all Chuck Norris classics – The Delta Force.
In the mid 1980s, we were in a pretty interesting time. The Cold War was starting to slow down a bit as the USSR had a leader who was no longer seemingly interested in being our enemy. The Monkees were celebrating their 20th anniversary. Ronald Reagan was in charge and patriotism seemed to be at an all time high. Continue reading “The Delta Force (1986)”
Finally! Cannon Films arrives to an appointment for a B-Movie Enema! Let us rejoice!
So yes, this blog is all about the little movies. Those that get forgotten because they weren’t as big budget as Star Wars, or as classic as Casablanca, or as divisive among the sexes like Titanic (and, trust me, all the dudes LOVE Titanic). Then we get the 80s powerhouse studio, Cannon Films, and they kinda blow the lid off of what truly is a B-movie.
They would produce big time action movies like Delta Force, or spend tons of money on a single star like Sylvester Stallone. They make sci-fi movies with a huge scope like Lifeforce or Masters of the Universe. Or grand adventures like today’s film, King Solomon’s Mines. Continue reading “King Solomon’s Mines (1985)”