Bride of the Monster (1955)

It only took 510 B-Movie Enema reviews to finally arrive at the King of the B-Movie Films, Edward D. Wood, Jr.

This week, we’re going to review 1955’s Bride of the Monster. Before we do that… The story of Ed Wood is kind of interesting. For the most part, we know the major story beats of his life. Wood wanted to make movies. He made bad movies. He struck up a friendship with down-and-out Bela Lugosi and gave him work for the last few years of the Hungarian’s life. He liked to wear women’s clothing.

It’s a little more than that, honestly. Wood really WAS heavily into the performing arts and pulp fiction. Lugosi was an early idol of his. The story you heard in Tim Burton’s wonderful 1994 film, Ed Wood, about how the filmmaker was dressed as a girl by his mother when he was a child, was true. She did want a daughter, and for several years, little Eddie was her sole child, so she would dress him up in girls’ clothing as something of a coping mechanism. According to his second wife, Kathy O’Hara, that was the origin point for his continued crossdressing for the rest of his life and his particular affinity to feel angora against his skin.

Wood served in the United States Marine Corps from 1942 to 1946, where he faced considerable combat against the Japanese. He had his teeth knocked out by a Japanese soldier, and he’d pop his false teeth out for a big toothless grin to make Kathy laugh. A story told in the 1994 Burton film by Johnny Depp’s Wood about how he was terrified of being wounded and then discovered he was wearing women’s underwear by the field doctors was true. It sounds like something for a joke, but it was true. You gotta love it.

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Syngenor (1990)

What up, my lovely fuckfaces, it’s a brand new review here at B-Movie Enema!

So, check it out… A few months back, I covered 1980’s Scared to Death. In that movie, not only did a lady dress up like Sarah Jane Smith from the Classic Doctor Who serial The Hand of Fear, but it also featured an underground creature living beneath Los Angeles, running amok, and killin’ people left and right. The creature in that movie was genetically created by a science dude. However, the doctor who created the creature apparently died before he could kill the adult creature. The name of that creature is also the namesake for this week’s movie we’re going to review – Syngenor.

By the way, I think Syngenor was a mashup of the words SYNthetesized GENetic ORganism. But that’s not necessarily important at the moment. What is important is how this 1990 sequel was conceived and created. The original film’s production team is not involved. That said, Scared to Death director William Malone had a chance to make this movie, but he opted out to make the 1985 sci-fi creature flick appropriately titled Creature. It was producer Jack F. Murphy who led the charge of making the sequel after seeing the original and being mighty impressed by the monster. However, as is the case with a lot of movie sequels of the era, the original’s scarcity when it came to being seen by audiences led to Murphy keeping the monster, keeping the concept of a genetically created creature, but separating the film’s plot from the original to make it its own thing.

I guess you could say it’s somewhat similar to the Xtro movies, except those movies kept the original director and still tossed out any semblance of an actual narrative trilogy.

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Death Warmed Up (1984)

It’s time for another shambling review here at B-Movie Enema!

We don’t cover New Zealand enough around here, if I’m being honest. The islands that make up the southern hemisphere nation have made quite a splash in film over the last 40+ years. While it’s unfair to tie New Zealand’s film legacy to Australia’s, it might be fair to say that after the rise of Australian cinema in the 70s, New Zealand was able to follow suit and offer its own blend of plots, concepts, and quirks to film audiences.

What’s kind of interesting, this site has been full of Kiwi products over the last year and a half. In March of last year, I looked at Peter Jackson’s adult take on The Muppet Show, 1989’s Meet the Feebles. The wonderful 1985 science fiction drama, The Quiet Earth, came to the site in the form of a review in July. Then, in August of last year, the 70th episode of B-Movie Enema: The Series hopped in our Battletruck to watch Warlords of the 21st Century. All three of those movies have their own qualities that are fun, thought-provoking, or just outright weird. Now, it’s time to discuss another Kiwi film of note – David Blyth’s 1984 sci-fi zombie flick, Death Warmed Up.

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Carnosaur 2 (1995)

It’s time to go back to the Jurassic Era for another dino-rific review at B-Movie Enema!

1993’s Carnosaur was a massive hit. Okay, well, maybe not as big as Jurassic Park, but still, it was a significant hit for Roger Corman’s New Horizons production company. To say that it was riding the coattails of JP is not even facetious. It had to have. Both were based on books and featured dinosaurs. One was getting a ton of attention because that Spielberg guy was directing it. Sure, it was riding coattails, but it worked. The movie made a modest amount of money at the box office and was popular on VHS and cable television.

So, two years later, New Horizons was at it again with Carnosaur 2, which is the movie we’re going to be talking about this week. Because the sequel was greenlit while the first was in production, John Carl Buechler, the effects artist who made the dinosaurs in the first film, could save what he made and take care of it while they got the script and pre-production stuff off the ground. Michael Palmer wrote a script and took a lot of inspiration from Corman acolyte James Cameron’s Aliens plot. Corman tapped director Louis Morneau, who, if we’re being honest here, is mostly known for making sequels and pretty bad movies like The Hitcher II: I’ve Been Waiting, Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead, and the terrible Bats.

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Scared to Death (1980)

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Wow, guys. I am really Scared to Death this week. Welcome to a new review here at B-Movie Enema.

If you would, think back to December of last year. I reviewed the movie The Deadly Spawn. That little 1983 sci-fi horror flick was quite fun. By absolute accident, the following week, I covered Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor. What I didn’t realize at the time I scheduled those two reviews to be done, months ahead of being published, was that they were from the same series. The Deadly Spawn was the original. Metamorphosis is a sort of sequel. Well, this year, while not scheduled back-to-back, I have scheduled two more films that are related to each other – 1980’s Scared to Death and the 1990 sequel Syngenor.

This time, they are much closer in connection.

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Invasion of Astro-Monster (1965)

Goddamn, I love Godzilla…

And you do too. I know you do. Why? Because you’re here. There is no way in the world that the internet is used for people to only search for stuff they don’t like in order to find people to only affirm your negative thoughts on something, right?

Uh… heh… Um, right?

Anyway, welcome to a new review here at B-Movie Enema! I’m Geoff Arbuckle, your B-Movie Enema dude, and this week, I’m diving into the world of Godzilla for the very first time on this site with 1965’s Invasion of Astro-Monster (also known as Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, or, simply, Monster Zero in America). By 1965, Godzilla was a pretty big star in Japan. His first film, 1954’s Gojira, was a dramatic tale of how nature points out the folly of man. It was successfully imported into the United States, with added footage from the future Perry Mason, Raymond Burr, as Godzilla: King of the Monsters!, and, right away, an international superstar was born. After a sequel that isn’t exactly the best-received of the classic films from Toho, Godzilla blasted his way back into theaters after a seven-year hiatus with a showdown against American superstar monster, King Kong. From that point forward, Godzilla would appear almost every year between 1962 and 1975.

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Primal Rage (1988)

Welcome to this animalistic new review at B-Movie Enema!

This week, we’re looking at one of those classic Italian movies that wants to be an American horror film, 1988’s Primal Rage. Those are fun, aren’t they? This one comes from a couple of names of pretty decent note. First, you have director Vittorio Rambaldi. He’s a bit of a nepo baby. His father, Carlo, was a two-time Academy Award-winning visual effects maestro. He won for 1979’s Alien and 1982’s E.T. the Extra-Terrestial. Carlo Rambaldi had a third nomination for 1976’s King Kong. By the way, that’s my very favorite King Kong too. Look at Jessica Lange, in her big screen debut, and tell me it’s not the most beautiful of all the versions of that tale.

While Carlo would go on to do the effects for the awful King Kong Lives, he would end his career on this film for his son. Interestingly, though, I can only think of one thing Carlo would create for this movie, but we’ll get there when we get there. The last name Rambaldi would not be the only major Italian name associated with this movie, though.

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Carnosaur (1993)

Welcome back to another rip-roarin’ review at B-Movie Enema!

For pretty much all my life, dinosaurs were immensely popular. Moreover, they ignited a lot of children’s imaginations. In the 80s, not only were there movies like Baby: Secret of the Legend which came out at the exact age for me to not only want to see it but to also convince my mother to take me to a theater to see it. The same year, 1985, the Dinobots made their bow in The Transformers. Dinosaurs couldn’t have been more popular than that period of time. Later, a new generation would get the start of a looooong series of animated features with The Land Before Time. Even before that, for decades, dinosaurs were used in all sorts of sci-fi movies, especially the lower-budget ones.

But then came 1993.

I would argue 1993 was the pinnacle of dino-mania. You like that? Dino mania? I am 100% sure no one else has ever said that term before, and they definitely didn’t say it 32 years ago in 1993. Anyway, that’s when Steven Spielberg would have one of his very biggest years ever… maybe for any director in Hollywood history. He’d make two films that year. One, Schindler’s List, would win him the Oscars for Best Director and Best Picture. That was AFTER he released the year’s top-grossing film, and one of the biggest box office champs in the history of movies, Jurassic Park. But we’re going to look at the movie that made 1993 truly the greatest year at the box office for dinosaur movies – Carnosaur.

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