Tag: science fiction

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

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Sigh.

You people suck.  I mean it.  You guys are real assholes.

A couple months ago, I put out the call to action for B-Movie Enema Facebook followers to vote for what my May 2017 theme was going to be.  You had marvelous choices.  You could have picked more 80s horror (I subscribe to an entire channel on YouTube that I wanted to pull from).  You could have picked Cannon Films.  You could have chosen the chance to revisit movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  Hell, you could have picked to send me to the Sharknado series!  Shark-fucking-nado! Continue reading “Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)” →

Trancers (1984)

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Mercifully, Full Moon Fever February is coming to an end.

All month, I had to deal with Charles Band.  I thought we started nicely with Puppet Master.  Then things went downhill with The Gingerdead Man and Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  So I spent my birth month begging for sweet release from this cursed existence.  Thank fuck it’s here…

In the form of Tim Thomerson…

As Jack Deth. Continue reading “Trancers (1984)” →

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)

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Well, because the sweet embrace of death didn’t come to pass last week, I guess I have to continue Full Moon Fever.  At least there’s a chick in her bra and panties on the cover of this week’s movie!

Er…  I mean.  That had zero bearing on me choosing this movie – Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  No, that was the $2.95 price tag at the local Dollar General.

And the promise of tits.  Lots and lots of tits. Continue reading “Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)” →

Deadly Friend (1986)

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Just because it seems as though I haven’t had enough of the whole “likable female lead gets killed” theme so far for 2017…

Oh shit, spoilers: Kristy Swanson plays a completely, totally likable character and gets straight murdered in this movie.

Anyway, like I was saying, this week, we jump right into one of the strangest movies I’ve seen in a while.  Okay, that’s a massive fucking lie.  Mystics in Bali was one of the most bonkers things I may have ever seen ever.  Again, let me get back on track here – this week’s feature, Deadly Friend, is strange not because of how the movie itself plays out or how completely, totally 80s it is, but in how it is a terribly awkward follow-up for Wes Craven after his A Nightmare on Elm Street revitalized the horror genre in the middle of the decade. Continue reading “Deadly Friend (1986)” →

Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)

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This week’s B-Movie Enema is a bit of a treat – and the man who made it is fascinating.  I’m going to take a look at Teenagers from Outer Space.

This film, made almost single-handily on a production level by Tom Graeff, is not exactly all that well-known.  It didn’t receive particularly good reviews.  It isn’t exactly remembered in any spectacular way.  In fact, the most famous it probably ever got was appearing on a 1992 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Continue reading “Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)” →

The Giant Claw (1957)

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The Giant Claw.

I think it was only a matter of time before it came to this.  This is one of those staples of bad movies.  While maybe not be a Plan 9 or The Room, this was a movie that seemed to step up to the proverbial plate and swing hard for the fences only to pop the ball up right in front of the plate.

It’s like you should hear a sad trombone play every time you mention the title.  It’s not without a couple of really great pieces – a great performance by Jeff Morrow (who was in This Island Earth), and a neat idea springing forth from actual scientific discovery through particle physics.  However, you see that fuckin’ bird with those goofball eyes and doofy expression and everything just goes right into the crapper.  This movie is universally hailed as one of the worst attempts ever at a sci-fi monster movie. Continue reading “The Giant Claw (1957)” →

King Kong Lives (1986)

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Fuck this movie right in the ball sack.

No.  No, I suppose I should try to be professional about this.  I shouldn’t just leave it with the incredibly aggressive opening salvo I gave this article.  Instead I should try to be a little more grown up about it.

Have sexual intercourse with this motion picture unto its testicle bag, also know as its scrotum. Continue reading “King Kong Lives (1986)” →

The Brain Machine (1977)

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I’m going out on a limb for this week’s B-Movie Enema.  I’ve never heard of this movie, The Brain Machine, nor can I find many pictures of it aside from this thing to the left that doesn’t look anything like what the description tells me this movie is about.

So, what is this movie?  Well, it’s from 1977, and we know from things like Star Wars and Geoff Arbuckle, awesome things happened in 1977.  However, from the pictures I saw from this movie, it kind of looks like I might be in for a long day watching this movie. Continue reading “The Brain Machine (1977)” →