A few weeks ago, I had a big ol’ love fest over a little movie I picked up while I was at HorrorHound Weekend in Indianapolis this past August – Amazon Hot Box. It was a marvelous little love letter to the exploitation and women in prison movies of the 70s. It was brought to us by Work In Progress Films and writer/director James Bickert. It was such a lovely throwback to those bonkers movies of evil wardens, sexy prisoners, silly side plots that ultimately lead nowhere, and all the things that I love about exploitation cinema.
It’s time to do it again with another filmmaker who is associated with Work In Progress and James Bickert, Brian K. Williams. Here we have a good old fashioned story about buxom babes from beyond our world with a title that makes me giggle every time I say it (seriously, as my friend who had to hear me giggle every time she heard me say it at HorrorHound Weekend) – Space Babes from Outer Space!
This film has a 50s sci-fi style feel to it. You have three beautiful women (two of which, Ellie Church and Alyss Winkler, were featured in Amazon Hot Box) who have to make an emergency landing on Earth where they must harvest sexual energy in order to power back up their spacecraft and get home.
Just read that last sentence again. How fucking awesome is that? For me, it is doubly awesome because it was filmed in my home state of Indiana too. But back to the beautiful women needing to harvest sexual energy to get home… Where do I sign up and how often can I help? I mean, right in the trailer, one of the space babes specifically says they are here for our boners, our dicks, our cocks, our rods, and then ask to be taken to our wieners.
The movie starts as all good movies should – a hot MILF (Kelsey Carlisle who played Penny in Amazon Hot Box just to push that connection even further) tucking her kid into bed before going off to whatever work requires to dress like a stripper lady pirate. Question – where can I find a place that that requires the workers to dress like a stripper lady pirate? I know, I know. You probably think this is horndog Geoff asking this. But that’s not the case at all. This is scholarly Geoff asking for research. I would like to… observe? Report back with my findings? Possibly take pictures?
Anyway, hot mom tells her dad to tell a bedtime story for her kid. Grandpa decides he’s gotta tell that kid about some Space Babes from Outer Space.
The spaces babes, naturally, fly about space in a giant boob. Inside the giant space boob, the space babes, even more naturally(?), sleep naked and cuddled up with one another. I already fucking love this movie. We have sexy babes cuddling, a rockin’ 80s-esque theme song about space, boobs… Everything a movie could ever possibly aspire to has been achieved in just under six minutes. Oh! And sexy pirate MILF. Mustn’t forget her.
A red alert wake the space babes up. They discover they have an enemy vessel chasing them. The enemy aliens in this movie are the Scrotes. They are angry looking scrotum bags. Naturally, we have lots of cheeky dialog about playing ball, Scrotes coming in pairs, coming in hard and fast, being a bigger load than they can take, etc.
The Scrotes damage the space babes’ ship, but before they can recharge their weapons, the space babes jump into some sort of super hyper drive. We then get a history of men based on the history of the space babes themselves. Turns out the Scrotes are what the men from the space babes’ planet turned into after several decades of shitty shenanigans. This serves as a lesson to the space babes as they approach Earth. Vanassa explains that escaping the Scrotes mean they were blasted so far away, they don’t have enough energy to get back to their home. Carrieola and Ragyna want nothing to do with Earth because of the high male population.
The computer is able to locate an energy source but aren’t so sure what that is. It pulls up a diagram of a person and shows that the energy source comes from the crotch area. While the computer can’t identify exactly what that is, its set the space babes’ communicators to locate it. Near where the space babes land, we find Charlie working on his farm – as well as checking out an issue of Girls and Corpses. When you think he’s gonna crank one out, he actually prepares to finger himself in the asshole.
Sadly for him, or maybe luckily for us, he’s interrupted by the space babes landing on his barn. Excited, Charlie imagines what he might be able to do with three space babes that include them washing clothes, working the tractor, and baking chicken nuggets. This causes Charlie to get hard, which sets off the space babes’ detectors, and viola… They now kinda get where the energy source is.
Well… They kinda know where the readings come from, but they don’t know what any of it means. Carrieola introduces herself by shaking his wiener which causes him to blow a load and pass out. When Charlie comes to, he explains what Carrieola did. He describes the energy reading being sexual energy. He gives them a lesson in how it all works. He proposes to help them because, as he correctly figures, just about any guy will be turned on by them.
Naturally, he takes them to a strip club where Vanassa and Ragyna instantly get hired.
The Scrotes are hot on their tail and learn they are at a strip club in Bloomington, Indiana. At the strip club, Charlie explains to Carrieola that the girls should be able to get all the fuel they need, but they need to be careful of various emotions that might get in the way. Things like jealousy, or… love. He decides to hang out with Carrieola instead of taking a lap dance when he is slightly aroused. Curious, she asks why he’s giving off energy readings when he’s not interested in the woman. It basically leads to a super convoluted way of telling her that he likes her and would rather be in love with her than getting moments of fleeting pleasure from someone who would take off their clothes for a few bucks – basically that same convoluted bullshit I do in almost every interaction with a girl I like so I get where the dude is coming from.
Vanassa and Ragyna blow just about everyone’s dicks off their bodies the moment they take the stage. Not only that, but the women in the club pretty much soak their panties over them. Sadly, Carrieola doesn’t get the readings she did from Charlie. He reveals that his boner is made with love not from this superficial attraction.
We learn exactly why the Scrotes are after the space babes after the monsters encounter a couple fired strippers walking home – they plan to eat them! At Charlie’s home, he introduces Carrieola to the family. They assume she’s a hooker because 1) look at her and look at him (I mean Charlie seems nice and cool and all, but…) and 2) she’s there so she can meet them before Charlie will have sex with her.
Considering Ellie Church is really pretty (and extra sexy as Carrieola), and Charlie is a virgin who’s never had a girlfriend and was first seen willing to stick his finger in his own poop chute for kicks, I’d probably would have handled this by bringing her in, quickly introducing her to my parents, and then saying fuck this dinner shit, I’m gonna spend the next 37 hours fucking this hot space babe and then never speak to my family again. Instead, it’s a nightmare:
There’s a running joke throughout this movie about chicken nuggets. It’s first seen when the space babes land and Charlie imagines Carrieola baking him chicken nuggets and smearing barbecue sauce all over herself. Then, the strippers walking home spent their last few dollars on nuggets. Another pair of strippers were fighting over nuggets, and, as seen above, Charlie’s family were dining on… you guessed it, nuggets. I say it a lot here and on Film Seizure, but it’s the little things that often mean the most in movies. Little jokes about chicken nuggets fill out your crazy movie about space babes and evil scrotum sacks.
Speaking of the Scrotes! While Carrieola and Charlie fuck in the barn, the Scrotes run wild in the strip club and threaten to eat pretty much all the chicks. Vanassa has a plan to defeat them by giving them what they want until they can’t handle it anymore – jiggling titties.
The strippers incapacitate the Scrotes while Charlie, erm, refuels Carrieola. It’s close ups of tits, Charlie’s cum face, vibrating Scrotes, POV of Carrieola riding cowgirl and… It ends with three sets of balls jizzing. The Scrotes die from their explosion. Luckily for Charlie, he survives his orgasm. Unfortunately for Charlie, Carrieola wants sex from more men. She cares for him, but she just wants to sex all the men to help her and her space babes get home. Oddly… I… I can relate.
I feel like Space Babes from Outer Space should not be making me feel sorry for myself…?
That’s a story for another time… This story is all about these space babes. Based on some suspect advice from the strip club owner, Charlie decides he’s gotta tell Carrieola something about how it’s okay she doesn’t understand how he feels or him understand how she feels, but they dagnabbit, they will figure it out together. So he fights his way through strippers who want to show them their tits to speak to her only to interrupt a dominatrix with a bunch of man baby… people… and she squirts her breast milk at him.
That’s fucking weird… but I kinda dig it. No, not in my normal “I’m digging this really weird thing I saw in this movie in a sexual way” way. No. This movie has been nothing but weird since the beginning. Be it sexy pirate MILF or boob space ship or walking, talking scrotum sacks or space babes needing to collect sexual energy… It’s all been weird. There are recurring jokes about chicken nuggets, a weird strip club patron who constantly gets pissed on, cum on by alien Scrotes, and puked on, or just seemingly innate characters tossed in for the fun of it. Why not have a dominatrix running some sort of adult baby daycare and squirting breast milk at them?
Charlie finds Carrieola depressed and confused why she couldn’t extract the energy from some random dude’s boner when it was so perfect with Charlie earlier. He helps her understand that she is feeling for him what he feels for her and it’s kind of sweet. There are some scenes of legit chemistry in this movie between Ellie Church and Brian Papandrea.
Vanassa and Ragyna know that Carrieola will either want to bring Charlie with her or stay behind with him. A newly landed Scrote sneaks up behind Charlie and Carrieola saves him before the Scrote swallows her whole. However! Just when you think everyone is totally boned, Carrieola claws her way out of the Scrote.
This reminds me… The end of Amazon Hot Box saw Ellie Church completely covered in blood and gore while her character, Von Krupp was strapped into her incredible torture machine. Is she always covered in blood and guts at the end of each of her movies?
If so… I’m into it (and this time, it is a “I’m digging this really weird thing I saw in this movie in a sexual way”).
The Scrote overrode their ship’s computer and released all their collected energy, so the space babes need to collect a ton and fast. It’s time for a four way. Goddamn… Charlie went from virgin about to finger his own butthole for a quickie kick to fucking three space babes at once in the course of about 70 minutes. Maybe I should stick my finger into my own butt to see if space babes wanna fuck me?
Eh… Maybe I’ll get around to doing that. I’m kinda tired tonight.
This movie parodies the more exploitative sci-fi of the 50s that usually featured evil space vixens or beautiful native girls in another planet that earth men fall in love with. It also kind of parodies, or parallels, the late night Cinemax raunchy comedies of the late 90s and early 2000s. However, it’s better than both. At the very least, I would say it is more interesting and titillating than both. There’s a care and love put into this movie that just makes it fun and something I’d pretty much be happy to watch any time.
Obviously, there is comparison to Amazon Hot Box from last month. They are both cut from the same cloth of loving dedications to classic exploitation – even if they are covering two eras and two genres. While Space Babes from Outer Space is a whole lotta fun, it’s probably fair to say Amazon Hot Box is a little deeper in its layers of inspiration. I know… That’s kind of like saying a kiddie pool is deeper than a cookie sheet, but I would like everyone to remember one thing:
Fun things can happen in both.
That puts a bow on the 2018 slate of B-Movie Enema articles. Next week, we begin a new year, and it’s probably high time to finally talk about a movie that I really, really like and have always wanted to feature on this blog. It also means I get to go back to Italy for some more horror and a film that should be recognized as one of the best non-Romero zombie films ever. It does get a little bit of uneducated derision for how it was marketed, but it is maybe the one movie that Lucio Fulci will be forever remembered for – 1979’s Zombie!
I’ll see you next week, next year, for Fulci’s redemption!