Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before ol’ B-Movie Enema returned to the world of 70s nazisploitation.

This week, we’re talking about the 1977 Italian flick The Beast in Heat. Now, try to keep up here. The movie was originally called La Bestia in calore which is the Italian translation of The Beast in Heat. I point this out because you can look and see that the director on this is “Ivan Kathansky”. That name makes you think, “Ooh! It’s a Russian director! This is either extra spicy because it is a movie about a Nazi monster made by a damn, dirty Commie, or… Or…” I don’t know how to end that sentiment other than to make sure you understand that I’m thinking this is a Commie Nazi movie.

However, the director is actually Luigi Batzella, which now makes me think of a giant monster bat tearing apart a Japanese town. Kathansky is not the only pseudonym of Batzella’s, but that’s notable because critic Tim Lucas of Sight & Sound stated that this film is so reprehensible that there’s not a single real name associated with anyone in the movie. Exactly how true that is, I don’t know, but with a reputation like that, B-Movie Enema had to come calling.

Batzella spent his first few years of his moviemaking career as an actor, but he transitioned to directing. He made movies with titles like The Devil’s Wedding Night and Nude for Satan. In all, he made 15 movies between 1966-1980. I don’t know much about any of his other movies, but I do understand a critique of this movie that states there’s not much excitement here without the bodacious bod of Dyanne Thorne. Maybe if he had that, he’d have made more than 15 movies as a director when many of his contemporaries of the 70s making these types of movies were making like 2-4 movies PER YEAR.

I do also understand how Severin Films decided to advertise this movie too. They lean HARD into the idea of this being a pretty damn depraved movie. Allow me to explain by repeating the back of the box of the Blu Ray (yes, I own this on Blu Ray) box: “More than four decades after the subgenre first shocked the world, the most depraved Nazisploitation sickie of them all must still be seen to believed.” It also makes sure to include this review of the movie from Horrorpedia: “Horrific Italian exploitation… No filthy stone is left unturned in a bid to shock even the most jaded of viewers.”

So the movie begins and, you know, there’s much ado about the reprehensible nature of the movie. As I previously quoted from a review that it’s so gross and stuff the people didn’t even want their real names on this thing. As it turns out, I don’t think that only extended to the cast and crew. Why do I say that? Because as the swastika that fills up about 50% of the total frame space comes into sharp focus, the title card is shown:

The motherfucking movie doesn’t even want its name associated with this movie. That’s goddamn amazing. Knowing that sometimes boutique releasing companies like Vinegar Syndrome or, in this case, Severin like to sometimes package an extra movie on Blu Rays because, fuck it, why not, I totally thought I clicked to start the wrong movie. I frantically picked up my Blu Ray case and searched the special features… Alas, no, this movie just doesn’t even want its own name in the credits of this movie. Holy shit this movie better be pretty goddamn depraved or I’ll be quite upset.

Anyway, after closing my living room curtains so no one, not even the guy across the parking lot that I’m pretty sure watches Fox News each night, doesn’t think I’m some sort of faschy fascist, I continue on with the movie. There’s a very, very hairy arm, like Robin Williams hairy, getting an injection from a pretty Nazi mad scientist. (Jeebus, the adjectives that will be in use in the course of this article are going to be crazy.)

Now this lab has monkeys in cages, Robin Williams in a cage, this old guy, a woman dressed up in THE worst idea for a Halloween costume at Weinberger’s party that one year in college, and this likely ball-busting scientist lady. It’s at this point that I stop and think about what I like to call, at least for this week, “The Nazi Problem”. And no, these are other problems those losers had. Maybe more accurately, I should call this “The Nazisploitation Problem”.

Check this shit out. I covered the Ilsa movies. Dyanne Thorne is a stone cold babe. I did Prisoner of Paradise. There were some foxy bad girls in that movie too. Generally speaking, it seems that the makers of these movies are going out and finding foxy ass ladies to dress up as Nazis. There’s something coldly cruel about the women that make them, somehow, even hotter even though they are decked out in full Nazi gear. That’s a problem people. I mean, I’m not saying “That’s a problem!” in any kind of virtuous debate scenario and calling people out for it, but I’m saying it’s a problem because it is uncomfortably sexy at times. Dyanne Thorne? Hot as fuck. Somehow even hotter as Ilsa.

And then there’s another issue. These movies often display women in positions of power. Did Nazis have high ranking women working for them in any aspect of Nazi shit? You know, were there ranking lady officers in the SS? Were there really women in charge of the gross genetic shit or prison camps? If so, that is uncomfortably sexy… er, I mean, progressive. It’s like, “I want women to be able to hold high ranking powerful positions in everything from law enforcement to military to science and shit – AND be tough as nails!” but then it’s also like, “But these are Nazis! YIKES!”

See the problem here?

The sexy, sexy problem… That one cocked eyebrow, that tight upper lip. This woman is foxy. BUT SHE’S A NAZI TOO! This is a terrible predicament, dear Enemaniacs.

The old scientist has a considerable amount of concern over Mirror Universe Kimmy Gibbler over here playing God and messing with chromosomes and DNA and stuff. She’s like, “Yeah, fuck you old man. If you want your name removed from these experiments and findings, I’ll take all the credit myself.” This only partially shuts the guy up. At least he doth not protest any further because the lady doc brings in a naked woman from the camp who doesn’t pull her weight as she should.

When the woman is brought in, Lady Doc Nazi Chick says that she only wants her to feel extreme pleasure. Then we see the hairy armed guy’s dick. And he’s fucking HORNY! He wants to put that thing into any kind of warm fold he can find.

Come to think of it the titular beast who is in heat looks like Ernest Borgnine got cross-bred with Robin Williams.

The lady gets tossed into the cage with the best and he goes to town while she screams and carries on because, ya know, this is fairly terrible for her? This scene goes on for about 93 minutes. It’s just a lot of Evil Sexy Doc Lady walking around the cage watching this girl get raped, then some weird shots of the monster attacking, then the other people watching the proceedings. When the decked out SS Officer Lady tells our lady doc, Dr. Kratsch, that she thinks the good doc is a genius, Kratsch kisses the female captain from the SS.

Outside, there are two men who are sneaking around. They blow up a bridge that’s important to the Germans. Inside the camp, Kratsch is being congratulated for her experiments. The deal here is that she’s working on ways to creating a super army from these artificial people. She can basically turn people into not much more than beasts of burden. She hasn’t figured out how to make them fully compliant. At the very least, they can be used for manual labor. There was even some consideration made to test on the citizens of the friendly countries around Germany. Either way, this General is still pleased.

You know what? I’m not sure why the jury is still out on these Nazi peoples. They don’t seem to be entirely on the up and up.

Okay, so there’s a lab in which Kratsch is doing her genetically grown super soldier experiments. Nearby, there’s a town. In the area surrounding the town, there seems to be rebels who are making life difficult for the poor widdle Nazi boops that are in the region. To try to demoralize or force a surrender from the rebels, a small (and I do mean small as if they didn’t have enough money or Nazi costumes to make it look like a full battalion, just maybe like 8 dudes) group of Nazis come into this town and begin arresting the women. You see, there may only be women, children, and the elderly in this town, but that also means that these are likely the mothers, fathers, wives, and children of the rebels.

The town isn’t completely unwilling to fight back, though. A little old lady personally wipes out 1/8 of the group of Nazis by stabbing a guy in the back. She gets blown away by Dirty Herren above. There’s another lady who is hassling the troops too and telling them to leave them alone. Now, she’s carrying a baby with her. Just as I thought this movie, which is somewhere around the 20 minute mark, was not going to live up to any of its advertised depravity beyond that beast in heat raping captive women left and right, I finally got something that’s so sufficiently depraved, I ain’t gonna show you a picture, a gif, or a video clip. It’s pretty bad. I’ll just give you the straight play-by-play like I’m some sort of fuckin’ Al Michaels!

So, yeah, that lady has a baby. You know that something is probably going to happen to that baby or that lady, or both. And, yup, something happens to both. A soldier wrestles the baby away from the woman and tosses the baby way up into the air so another guy can blow it away with a machine gun. The shooter, laughing over killing a baby, turns the gun on the old lady and blows her away. That is utterly fucked up.

So about those rebels. They are led by a man named Stefano. He’s not with the rest of the gang currently, but they feel fairly confident that their mothers, wives, and daughters will not tell the Germans anything. They also have a little bit of an ace up their sleeve – Doretta. Doretta is the mistress of the local German captain, Hardinghauser. She was able to utilize his lust and his stupidity, and her sexy bod, to be able to get info on how and where the Germans will operate. She also has a sister, Irene, who works closely with the rebels.

There’s a whole bunch of minutes devoted to a bunch of guys who are part of this resistance. There are so many people who say so many different names quickly and I can’t seem to even look anything up because so few people are credited in this movie. But there’s a group of the rebels who hide out and talk about stuff. There’s a group of the rebels who are out in the field doing sabotage and talk about stuff. It seems as though some of them have been captured, maybe? I… I don’t know. Middle aged Italian guys in the 70s all look the exact same. However, I can say that the Germans question the older men and try to use the children they captured as a way to make them talk. The older guys are more than happy to remind the kids to keep their mouths shut. Some of the older guys die for not giving up any information.

The General brings Kratsch in to help out the local interrogator. She has some ideas of how she can get these dudes to talk. She lays it out like this – she can be angelic while also possessing the qualities of a devil. She has quite a plan that she can use to make these dudes want to talk. She wants to make sure these people spill all their secrets… What I’m getting at is that she plans to use her sexuality to make these men’s boners hard and their lips loose.

Irene, that sister of Hardinghauser’s mistress, arrives to tell one of the rebels, Drago, and the town preacher, that someone talked. Someone has given up the location of the rebels and the Germans are on the way. It should be pointed out that Irene is apparently a hooker. The town thinks she’s a German spy. They also want to mess with her and try to fuck her when she’s just walking by with a bucket of water. I can’t say I understand exactly why the detail about Irene being a prostitute is here, but it’s here.

With someone finally telling those damn dirty Nazis where the rebels are hiding, there’s understandably additional tensions rising over who might have betrayed them. While the tensions between characters are rising, I think we better talk about something else here. Earlier, I talked about “The Nazisploitation Problem”. Let’s talk about “The Beast in Heat Problem”.

This movie is rather dull. There’s nothing particularly interesting about this plot. The dubbing is atrocious. The movie can’t afford to have more than eight Nazis in any one place at a time. The characters are pretty bland (though I will give a pass to Macha Magall playing Kratsch who is seemingly having lots of fun playing the heavy). It’s advertised as this big ol’ depraved sickie, but beyond the beast raping that one girl to death and the baby murder, there’s FAR more stuff beyond the pale in the Ilsa movies. Shit, even Prisoner of Paradise did some things better – and that was a real porno with only, like, five people in it. Damn, those Jess Franco movies with Lina Romay were smutty as all get out while ALSO being sexy.

There has been no direct torture of anything. The supposed title character of this movie, the Beast, has only been in the first 5 minutes of the movie and nothing since. We’ve not even seen too many boobs. I thought this movie was going to twist my brain, and my dick’s brain, into knots and make me a drooling moron. Sure, I suppose the movie might be saving it all up for the end, but fuuuuuck. This is a very dull movie.

So the Germans sweep into this town, right? They are there to find rebels, arrest women, kill whomever they want. It just so happen that the mother and the sister of our big, grand leader, Stefano, live in this town. You wanna see this guy the rebels think is their great white hope? You want to see the amazing Stefano?

So this beanpole is our big superhero who will blow up the Nazis and probably punch Hitler right in the balls. You want to know how great he is? Well, his sister comes in and when their mother says he should run away, his sister’s like, “Yes, run away and hide with your guns and kill any German in sight. Meanwhile, have you ever wondered what it costs for each person to keep your secret?”

Yeah, this lady is upset with the grand and great Stefano. He retorts that she’s probably right. He should turn himself in because his sister doesn’t believe, or doesn’t understand, what he is fighting for or why. This doofbag is literally going to turn himself in. How do I know it is not a guilt trip or a trick to get his sister to realize this would be a very bad thing? He goes to the door, tries to unlock it to turn himself in. IT TAKES THIS GUY’S MOTHER KNOCKING HIM OUT WITH A SKILLET TO STOP HIS PLAN. This guy is no leader of anything. He’s an idiot.

The mom knocked Stefano out to keep him safe. They hide him in the pantry or something. The mom tells the Nazis she hasn’t seen him since he joined the rebels. The lead Nazi rapes his sister, which wakes him up and he attacks. They arrest him immediately. The leader Nazi shoots Stefano’s sister in the vagina to kill her and also to say that his German stuff can’t mix with people. Shooting of the vagoozle is pretty reprehensible but this is hardly too much to handle. There’s hardly even any blood or wounds when people get shot, so… what’s the story here, Luigi Batmanzilla?

With this being a Nazisploitation movie mixed with a prison camp sexploitation plot, there must be a line of naked girls for our primary bad girl to look over. The women lined up are all the sisters, wives, or girlfriends of the rebels. Kratsch has some of the captured men strung up naked. She whips their ding dongs. She then opens her shirt and starts rubbing herself against Stefano to try to get him aroused. I don’t know how well it works on him but it it works on the guy next to him. He suddenly shouts out that he wants her before he dies.

So she goes over and cuts his dick off.

Okay, movie, you are getting a little more detestable and sick, but I expected this to be a little more wall to wall, balls splat against the wall depravity. I basically have a Hogan’s Heroes porn parody that decided to be a grimdark version of the source material.

Just after that, we do learn who our traitor is among the rebels, it’s a woman we really just fucking met like 10 minutes ago. A slightly older woman with red hair as opposed to the younger Irene with red hair or the blonde sister of Irene, Doretta. No, it’s just some other broad. We met her like three scenes ago. She was selling info and secrets. Almost as soon as we find that out, she’s killed when one of the rebels jumps into the fray.

I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here, but we’re pretty much to the final act. The Germans have surrounded the hideout of the rebels and begins blowing stuff up through the collective might of footage from another war movie. It’s a slaughter. There’s just too much other war movie footage for the rebels to survive without heavy losses. And by heavy losses, I think the Germans kill every last rebel.

Meanwhile, Kratsch has a regular house of fucking horrors going on in her workshop. She’s got men strung upside down naked and getting dunked in water and whipped. A woman is being raped by the Beast. A woman has her vagina electrocuted. Another has a rat under a bucket with the bucket lit on fire to make the rat try to eat its way out of the ever growing heat. Finally, it’s Stefano, having enough of watching these people be tortured, who speaks up to say he has the knowledge they want so they can just talk to him and leave everyone else alone.

But guess what? These are fucking Nazis. They want to keep torturing people. I will say I’ve seen about as much dick as I have tit in this movie. How’s about that for some eqaulity?

Look, this torture scene has some gross stuff, and I’ll give it to the movie for making us watch the beast tear the pubic hair out a woman and eat it, and the pulling of fingernails, but it’s taken over an hour to get to the when I expected this to live up to its reputation of being a disgusting and vile movie from start to finish. It’s just bad guys doing bad things with a few gross things happening every now and then.

And speaking of bad guys and things that are going on that seem counter to the gross shit the movie really wants to be known for – the Germans are still descending on that town that has the church that has the friendly preacher. He won’t give up the info about the rebels. They arrest Irene and the preacher, but when a soldier knocks a cross to the ground, the preacher turns into the fucking Incredible Hulk and starts fighting the soldiers. He gets help from the rebel Drago, but they are eventually overpowered. Oh and the Germans knew all along that Irene and Doretta were playing both sides. Irene is to be taken with the priest to the base, but she tries to go and help Drago. She’s shot and killed.

Now… Why is Drago not arrested with the others? Well, he was to be shot by a German, but when the soldier sees the cross on the floor, he shoots but doesn’t kill the man inside the church. I guess he’s a Christian himself and won’t shoot a man in God’s house or something? Maybe it’s divine intervention? I don’t know and I’m not sure I care. This movie feels like it has been going for around 5 hours. There’s still like 15 minutes left and I’m curious if this movie has a plan to come in for the landing or if it will just plan on crashing to the Earth like so many sweet dreams and flying machines.

Drago continues to kick ass though. I think he is the rightful leader of this resistance group and not that idiot Stefano. He just shows up when trouble’s afoot and starts laying down the kick ass. He instinctively knew Irene and the preacher man was in trouble and showed up to beat ass. He instinctively knew some little kid was being hassled by the Nazis and he shows up and kicks ass. I want a whole movie of this Drago guy killing Nazis with his bare fucking hands.

Some of the rebels survived the earlier attack and Drago meets up with them. The rebels storm the German compound and a lot of them die. A LOT OF REBELS DIE IN THIS MOVIE. I would almost say these rebels are kind of useless if they die so easily and in such plentiful numbers. But guess who is one of only two guys get inside the compound alive? Just guess. Yup, it’s fuckin’ Drago.

Drago is so fucking awesome that the moment he gets inside the torture chamber, his mere fucking presence causes the door of the cage for the Beast to spring open, the girl he was currently raping runs away, and he grabs Fraulein Kratsch and the Beast begins to rape her. All of this happens so fucking fast that I have no idea if I dreamt this, if the whiskey and mango punch drink I had to pour myself to finish this movie kicked in, or what. I do know that Kratsch begins to beg for Drago and his pal Lupo to shoot the Beast and to save her but they barely acknowledge it. They just let that shit happen.

They even watch with some morbid enjoyment.

I will also assume that this was what really defeated the Nazis. This single moment in which a gross ass science experiment turned on his creator and the only two sensible and capable rebels just watched until they finally shoot the pair. Yeah, they had some air cover from the allies who are also apparently making inroads against the Nazi occupied areas.

However, thanks to the air support from the allies, it appears that they killed Drago’s kids. That’s… that’s sad. I like watching Nazis get blown up. I am not so sure I care much for Drago’s kids dying. I don’t know who he will want to kill in retribution for that act. He may still be out there, to this day, stalking people. Hoping that someday, he will finally murder the filthy son of a bitch that will make the tortured screams of his son that still haunt his dreams to stop.

This movie is ass. It didn’t live up to its reputation in the ways I thought it would. I don’t know if I wanted it to, but it didn’t do what the reputation says. This movie introduces characters and scenarios at a drop of a hat. It also forgets those people too. Anyone know what happened to Doretta? I sure don’t. I know what happened to her sister. She died. But what about Doretta? Who knows.

Yes, there were plenty of moments of bad stuff. Shooting a baby after tossing it up in the air. Literally munching carpet. Pulling fingernails out of fingers. That’s all bad stuff. The rest of it is just bad people doing bad things. I wanted the Nazis to be what they were – monsters. I wanted them to just be THE worst. Instead, this movie was just bad. Just a bunch of ass.

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See you all back here in a week, my dear Enemaniacs!