Geoff Arbuckle

Batman and Robin (1997)

Published on June 16, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Holy fishdicks, Batman! This week’s B-Movie Enema feature is, without a doubt, one of the most reviled comic book movies ever. This (along with another fourth movie in its franchise I’ll be talking about later this summer) effectively killed a relatively popular and very profitable Batman franchise.

Since it turns 20 this week, and this is a summer in which I’ll be focusing on those movies celebrating anniversaries, of course I’ll be featuring Batman and Robin. Continue reading “Batman and Robin (1997)” →

Rollercoaster (1977)

Published on June 9, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

This week’s B-Movie Enema entry is celebrating its 40th anniversary this very weekend. It’s Universal Pictures’ Rollercoaster.

Rollercoaster was simply another in the decade-long string of “disaster films” that started at the very dawn of the 1970s with Airport. It became such a genre in itself that you can almost think of that as being the same thing back then as we see now with superhero movies. While the 70s were the “golden age” of the disaster flick, the genre still exists to this day. Movies featuring high drama in the face of incredible tragedy still come out in fairly high numbers. Anything that stars a relatively large cast that ends with a lot of them dead and a lot of others barely making it through whatever the disaster wrought could basically be labeled as one of these disaster films. Continue reading “Rollercoaster (1977)” →

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Published on June 2, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Man… Now that I’ve survived Asylum Month, I’m not sure I can contain my excitement. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I could carry on with anything other than sitting around a living room littered with empty pizza boxes while I go unshaven and unbathed and gorging myself on ice cream straight from the container.

However, the darkness parted and here we are – June. I’ve survived the darkest month of my life since I resurrected this blog a little over a year ago and I’m ready to celebrate. So! I bring to you the start of a summer full of anniversaries! Starting this week until the end of August, I’ll be shifting my focus not only on movies that are celebrating some sort of anniversary ending with either a 0 or a 5, but I’m also getting back to basics. Shitty movies that bring the simplest of pleasures – monsters, shitty stories, titties, dumbness, and a few halfway decent things mixed in. We start with this week’s movie – Piranha DD (or Piranha 3DD if you saw it on the big screen with 3D glasses to make dem dubba d’s leap off the screen and practically motorboat themselves on your face) which celebrates the fifth anniversary since its release this upcoming week. Continue reading “Piranha 3DD (2012)” →

Independents’ Day (2016)

Published on May 26, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

The Asylum Month thankfully comes to a close as we look at another dumb titled movie that is meant to capitalize off dumb fuckshit people willing to rent absolutely anything from Family Video to dumb down their fuckface brains and think they “done seen that one movie that came out last week at the video store!”

Fuck. I’m angry. The world is shit. Everything good and right in this world sucks donkey balls. The Asylum has sucked the soul out of me. I’m not exactly sure how to go on after a month of giant spiders fighting army chicks, a shitty Sherlock Holmes, and the worst fucking movie I’ve ever laid eyes on. Now this. Now this dumb fucking movie with a dumb fucking title… Continue reading “Independents’ Day (2016)” →

Sherlock Holmes (2010)

Published on May 19, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Oh boy… After last week’s utter debacle, I could certainly use a little British classiness to bounce back. Too bad it’s still an Asylum fuckfest abortion.

Sherlock Holmes, as a character, first appeared in print in 1887 and was an immediate success for author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I could spend a long time giving you more history about the character being one of the most famous detectives in all of history, and how many books he was in, and what have you, but I’ll save that for Wikipedia to tell you all about. Continue reading “Sherlock Holmes (2010)” →

Atlantic Rim (2013)

Published on May 12, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Round 2 of my month long battle against The Asylum, makers of crap and shit that I disdain since, like, I dunno… 2004 or something. I don’t care how long they’ve been at this. This time, I have a real offensive one: Atlantic Rim.

This is an instance where The Asylum simply took the title to a movie coming out (i.e. Pacific Rim), and modified it only slightly to give it a new title that cannot lead to a lawsuit against them, but, yet, still keep some sort of visual similarity to the movie it is ripping off. Continue reading “Atlantic Rim (2013)” →

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

Published on May 5, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Sigh.

You people suck. I mean it. You guys are real assholes.

A couple months ago, I put out the call to action for B-Movie Enema Facebook followers to vote for what my May 2017 theme was going to be. You had marvelous choices. You could have picked more 80s horror (I subscribe to an entire channel on YouTube that I wanted to pull from). You could have picked Cannon Films. You could have chosen the chance to revisit movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Hell, you could have picked to send me to the Sharknado series! Shark-fucking-nado! Continue reading “Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)” →

Paradise (1982)

Published on April 28, 2017January 16, 2024 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Let’s jump back, for a moment, to 1980. At the time, a young actress by the name of Brooke Shields was considered both a very pretty girl, and an up and coming actress. In 1978, Shields starred in a movie called Pretty Baby which covered the taboo topic of child prostitution in the early 20th century. She was 12 at the time of shooting, and she appeared nude in the film. If you were 10 to maybe 15 years old at the time, you might have thought that was the tits, but if you were older, you’d probably be some sort of sex weirdo if you found any pleasure in that. Continue reading “Paradise (1982)” →