Author: Geoff Arbuckle

I write and talk about movies. Find me over at Film Seizure where I talk about nostalgic movies on a weekly podcast as well as have a weekly show about monster movies. I also write about B-Movies at my site B-Movie Enema!

Low Blow (1986)

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Already the third film featured from Crown International Pictures in just the first eight B-Movie Enemas, 1986’s Low Blow delivers some action.

I can only say some action because either this is a horrible failure of an action flick or it’s the most brilliant movie ever made to never be seen.  I’ll explain during the course of this near pornographic examination of this flick.

We’ll get to the synopsis momentarily.  I have to say that Mr. Low Blow here to our left is NOT our action star.  He’s not even a supporting character.  He does have a ridiculous arm as if Rob Liefeld (where my comic nerds at, yo?) got hired to totally fuck up the proportions of the man’s head to torso to forearm to fist ratio. Continue reading “Low Blow (1986)” →

The Brainiac (1962)

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The doctor is back in…  For better or worse.

B-Movie Enema returns with a tale of horror from south of the border!  This little nightmare fever dream of Donald Trump’s is called The Brainiac (also known as El Baron del Terror in its native Spanish).

“So what’s this all about?” you ask?  Based on the poster you have a pretty cool demon-like dude, a woman who was clearly shocked to be told she is in this movie, and what appears to be a couple guys with some flamethrowers. Continue reading “The Brainiac (1962)” →

The Teacher (1974)

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Okay, let’s get down to some sexy corrupting of youth and stuff!  This week’s enema will be something more along the lines of the 1970s version of Cinemax – a little movie that would have likely played in Grindhouse theaters called The Teacher.

This is a bit of a departure from the first five movies I’ve featured.  Those first five were all pretty much horror movies in some way, shape, or form.  You know, because October and shit.  This time I wanted to do something a little different.  This movie stars Jay North of Dennis the Menace fame.  Yeah.  That little shit grew up to screw his teacher (played by Angel Thompkins). Continue reading “The Teacher (1974)” →

Oasis of the Zombies (1981)

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Happy Halloween!

When I first thought about what it would be that I would watch for the Halloween edition of B-Movie Enema, I had some classics.  I thought about something classic like The Creature from the Black Lagoon or The Giant Claw.  I even thought about doing one of the Friday the 13th movies.

But then, I was all like, “Fuck it…  Oasis of the Zombies.”

Here we have a French production about some treasure hunters in a film by Jesus Franco.  It’s got Nazi zombies, so how can it be bad?  (That’s not me setting up the fact that it’s likely bad.  I’m being serious, how bad can a movie featuring Nazi zombies be bad???) Continue reading “Oasis of the Zombies (1981)” →

Messiah of Evil (1973)

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From the Makers of American Graffiti…

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, “You dumb, silly bastard, you.  No way the makers of a fine, upstanding movie like American Graffiti would make something like this.”  Think again, dear readers.

From the writing team of Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz comes 1973’s Messiah of Evil.  Huyck and Katz collaborated a few times, and, yes, one was the aforementioned American Graffiti.  Another they worked on was a little known film by the title of Howard the Duck, but that’s for another time.  Oh, I promise you that is for another time. Continue reading “Messiah of Evil (1973)” →

My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)

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Think back to the Summer of 1989.  What comes to mind?  Batman?  Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?  Ghostbusters II?  How about Star Trek V or even UHF?

For me, hands down, it’s the topic of this week’s enema – My Mom’s a Werewolf.

Just kidding.  I only vaguely remember this moving being out there.  I mostly remember seeing it at video stores.  The box always brought to mind things like Teen Wolf or The Graduate.  Really, if you think about it, the 80s were obsessed with werewolves.  You had things like The Howling, Wolfen, and the aforementioned Teen Wolf movies.  However, this one kinda slipped under the radar.  Like I said, I definitely remember seeing this at video stores.  I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if this movie played a big part in why I like legs.  Wait.  Maybe that’s the box to The Graduate that I’m thinking about.  Let’s just move on. Continue reading “My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)” →

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)

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The worms are waiting!

Okay, for this week’s B-Movie Enema, I have another horror film from the 1970s.  Now, unlike last week’s, all the characters are supposedly English, but like last week’s cleansing, we have yet another Italian flick.  However, There aren’t many other names this movie goes by other than the Italian or English translations.

From the 50-Movie Pure Terror DVD Set, our synopsis for this week reads: “An unstable English Lord, who mourns his deceased wife, frequents clubs looking for redheaded women to take to his home for bizarre activities.  He eventually meets and marries a woman he hopes will drive away the demons from his tortured mind.  Unfortunately, other forces are at work to drive the nobleman insane and spread terror throughout the household.”
Continue reading “The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)” →

The Eerie Midnight Horror Show (1974)

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Ravished! Violated! Possessed by Satan!

Welcome to your first B-Movie Enema – and do I have a treat for you tonight.  Grab your popcorn and don’t forget your tickets for The Eerie Midnight Horror Show!

Let’s first tackle some basics about this week’s feature.  From the 50-Movie Pure Terror set, the synopsis reads: “A young art student is tormented by strange, vivid dreams involving her being nailed to a cross, as well as other bizarre images.  Her torment increases when the actual crucifix seen in her dreams comes to life!” Continue reading “The Eerie Midnight Horror Show (1974)” →