2020s

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend, Enemaniacs!

And oh boy does B-Movie Enema have a feast for you this week. Yeah… Let’s hop into our little real-world time machine and allow me to take us back to Valentine’s Day 2024. Just, what, nine months ago? Oh god… Is this the baby that was conceived by my slutty indulgence in taking in a double feature at the AMC Indianapolis 17? No wonder my tummy got bigger and this week’s review feels like I’m giving birth to a butt baby. I AM giving birth to a butt baby!

Where was I? This review is already fucking off the rails. Anyway, back then, I took myself on a double feature date to the theater and left disappointed, but in different ways. This week’s review is focused on the first of the two movies I watched because the Bob Marley movie was just kinda bland and not at all like the movie being discussed today… Madame Web.

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You know what sucks? Getting Old.

Yeah, being 45 sucks. That’s absolutely true. Once upon a time, I used to be young, virile, and hot shit, man. Now I’m just cold diarrhea. I’ve passed out of the realm of being listened to. I’m no longer marketed to – for anything important. Don’t get me wrong. Transformers and G.I. Joe and everything just slathered in 80s nostalgia are being marketed to me like tits to the man with all the one dollar bills on amateur night.

I don’t know what that means.

Anyway, Yeah, aging sucks. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about getting a copy of M. Night Shyamalan’s 2021 thriller Old. At some point I knew I was going to be doing this on B-Movie Enema. Here’s the thing, though… Once upon a time, I never really expected to do one of this guy’s movies. Let’s get into it.

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