Category: Reviews

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

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Happy Thanksgiving, jerkwads!

With today being the official start to the mad dash to the finish line that is the Christmas shopping season, I figured I’d feature a Christmas themed movie to celebrate the occasion.  I will admit that I pretty much did not want to do anything Christmas themed for December because there are a LOT of bad Christmas movies out there – none of which I want to watch. Continue reading “Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)” →

The Last Man on Earth (1964)

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This week’s B-Movie Enema is going to take a look at 1964’s The Last Man on Earth starring the great Vincent Price.

Based on Richard Matheson’s 1954 novel I Am Legend, this film puts a new spin on the post-apocalyptic wasteland type of story by featuring a man who is trying to stay alive not against zombies or crazed bad guys (see any post-Romero zombie movie or Mad Max for reference), and not strictly mutants of that wasteland (see… Judge Dredd… I guess?  And not the good one either).  Instead, our hero is fighting off people who have mutated into vampires. Continue reading “The Last Man on Earth (1964)” →

Firewalker (1986)

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Whoa-ho boy.  It’s been far too long since I last talked about a Cannon Films/Chuck Norris action flick, and I think now’s as good a time as any to revisit the 80s’ greatest hero.

For this week, I decided to cover the one Chuck Norris movie I’ve seen more than any other – Firewalker.  When I was a kid, this movie was on HBO or some other cable channel ALL THE TIME.  It’s just a good old fashioned Chuck Norris flick that tries so hard to be Indiana Jones.  Also Academy Award Winner Lou Gossett is there too.  And Melody Anderson who I think almost every guy my age had a crush on, thanks in no small part to Flash Gordon. Continue reading “Firewalker (1986)” →

Election Day Special: The Werewolf of Washington (1973)

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My fellow Americans…  In this time of strife, unrest, dangers from threats inside and outside our great nation, I call on you to do your civic duty and vote.  Don’t vote Democrat or Republican.  Libertarian or Green.  Vote Werewolf.  He is a man with voracity and spirit!  He is a man who would later appear on a cult classic television show about a guy who time travels by leaping into bodies and helping right historical wrongs.  As his poster says he “Makes it Perfectly Clear!”

Wait…  Whaaaaaaaaaaa? Continue reading “Election Day Special: The Werewolf of Washington (1973)” →

Doctor Mordrid (1992)

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Woopidee doo!  You know that brand new Marvel Studios movie coming out today???  Yeah, Doctor Something or Another?!?  I’m going to talk about it today for B-Movie Enema!  What exciteme…

Wait.  What the shit is this?  Doctor Mordrid?  I’m fairly certain that isn’t the name of the new Marvel movie.  I’m about 99.9% sure the character’s name is Doctor STRANGE.  I mean, he looks like Doctor Strange.  He’s got that tunic thing and that amulet business.  He’s doing magic lightning stuff with his hands.  There is a trippy, weird shit thing going on with the universe in there.  This is Doctor Strange, right?  I mean that’s Benedict Cumberbatch there playing this wizard dude, yeah?  No.  Wait, that says Jeffrey Combs.  Huh. Continue reading “Doctor Mordrid (1992)” →

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

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Initially, I had planned on letting Halloween come and go and pat myself on the back for a successful month of October featuring some vampire movies.  I thought, “Hey, I had a theme, I have a movie coming up that will run parallel to Doctor Strange in the first Friday of November, and I even have an Election Day Special planned.  I’ll just ride out Halloween, a job well done.”  Then I watched the Halloween movies to celebrate the holiday.

Suddenly, all those repressed memories of Halloween: Resurrection resurfaced and I got mad.  Really, REALLY mad. Continue reading “Halloween: Resurrection (2002)” →

Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride (1973)

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Welcome to the final installment of B-Movie Enema’s October Vampire Bookake!

This time around, we’ll see the final appearance of Christopher Lee as Count Dracula AND the final showdown between Lee’s Count and Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing.  It’s Hammer Films’ 1973 Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride – also known as Count Dracula and His Vampire Brides and The Satanic Rites of Dracula.  I will also warn that while this is Hammer and it is Lee and Cushing, sadly, this is not a particularly great installment. Most will agree it is better than the one before it (Dracula A.D. 1972), but it seemed that Hammer had a hard time bringing the Count into the present day. Continue reading “Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride (1973)” →

The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman (1971)

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This month’s Vampiralooza continues on B-Movie Enema with The Werewolf Vs. Vampire Woman.  This week we travel over to Europe and visit with a true horror icon that many here may not know too much about – Spanish filmmaker Paul Naschy.

Naschy is known for playing just about every monster you can think of which has granted him a distinction of being the Spanish Lon Chaney.  Despite playing Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, the Hunchback, and Count Dracula, it’s his work as cursed werewolf Waldemar Daninsky in an entire series named “The Hombre Lobo Series”  This run found him playing Daninsky a grand total of TWELVE times. Continue reading “The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman (1971)” →