Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year at B-Movie Enema!
Ah, yes… October. The weather gets cooler. The movies get spookier. B-Movie Enema celebrates an anniversary. Each year, I choose a theme for the month, and I thought it was high time to feature the works of one Robert Bartleh Cummings, better known to the world as singer/songwriter/producer/filmmaker/actor Robert Zombercrombie.
Er… I mean Rob Zombie.
Now, to get things started with what I’m dubbing Rob Zombie’s Spookshow, I think it’s important to understand that I’m not here to bash on Mr. Zombie’s films. I actually have a more nuanced take on his works. While I can say not all his movies are exactly my speed, there are a few of his works I very much like (one of which I will definitely review in a couple of weeks). The movies that aren’t really my speed still aren’t entirely worthy of the onslaught of snarky commentary the internet is oh so well known for. And speaking of… Let’s kick things off with Zombie’s 2022 take on The Munsters.
To start, let’s talk a little bit about Zombie’s early life. I think these first two weeks of Rob Zombie’s Spookshow kind of play into a softer side of Zombie’s personality. Zombie was born in Haverhill, Massachusetts, in 1965. He and his younger brother, Michael, the lead singer of Powerman 5000, both got into music under the stage name Spider One. Of course, Zombie would form the hard rock band White Zombie, named for the famous Bela Lugosi film from 1932.
But seeing that White Zombie band name unveils something key about Rob Zombie. Growing up, he was absolutely enthralled by horror. He would view Alice Cooper, Steven Spielberg, Bela Lugosi, and Stan Lee as guys he wanted to be, but, growing up, he was never really inspired to do much of anything. He and his parents worked at a carnival, and he just kind of floated through the 70s. Sure, he wanted to be those guys, but he didn’t really have the inspiration to become those guys. At the very least, he was limited in terms of an outlet to follow in those guys’ footsteps. After his family left the carnival in 1977, he’d kind of get back into normal life and ultimately would go to New York City to attend the Parsons School of Design. There, he’d meet his White Zombie bandmate and then-girlfriend, Sean Yseult.
When you look at the totality of what Rob Zombie would accomplish, think about those guys he wanted to be. His stage persona absolutely has a mix of Alice Cooper and Bela Lugosi. His production design for his stage performances definitely has a wow factor that comes from that Spielberg sense of spectacle. Then, when it comes to Stan Lee, we’ll circle back around to that next week, but I think there is this concept that many of his films feel somewhat connected to a shared universe.
Now, let’s turn our attention to The Munsters. In the mid-60s, Universal Television was looking for a way to have a little more play with what we know colloquially as the Universal Classic Monsters. They were incredibly popular at revival showings at theaters, and they were often played on television. The idea began as a series of cartoons, but turned into a live-action series that would feature a fun family based on various monsters – the Frankenstein monster, the Wolf Man, Dracula, and Dracula’s daughter. The family also has a “normal” looking member of the family, the incredibly pretty Marilyn Munster, whom the family takes pity on for her unfortunate looks. The point is, the Munsters were aloof to the fact that they weren’t the normal members of society. They thought the “normal” looking people were the monsters and they were the perfect representation of an average American family. That played for comedy, but the show also had a lot of great things to say about society and even had a very quotable line about being accepting of diversity: “The lesson I want you to learn is that it doesn’t matter what you look like. You can be tall or short; or fat or thin; ugly or handsome—like your father—or you can be black, or yellow or white, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is the size of your heart and the strength of your character.”
The Munsters was a concept popular enough to, like their “rival” oddball family, The Addams Family, get revivals, reinvisionings, and chances to return in various series over the decades. That brings us back to Rob Zombie, who was a lifelong fan of the TV series thanks to the series being a popular one in syndication. He originally pitched the idea to the studio even before his first film, House of 1000 Corpses, was released. This first pitch was unsuccessful due to the studio already exploring other options to bring the show back to TV. Then, he got involved again about 15 years later. There was a Munsters project meant for a younger audience that Zombie was allowed to revamp into something a little bit more all-ages friendly than just for what he considered a “preschooler” audience. That opportunity also got closed down for other television options.
Finally, in March 2021, the reports came in that Zombie finally got his chance to do The Munsters as a feature film. Zombie cast actors he’d worked with because he wanted to make sure those he cast in the major roles had a prerequisite chemistry with each other. So that’s why you see Jeff Daniel Phillips as Herman Munster, his wife Sheri Moon Zombie as Lily, and Dan Roebuck as Lily’s grandfather, The Count (better known to audiences as Grandpa Munster). He also brought in Richard Brake to play Dr. Woflang, Transylvania’s most popular mad scientist.
We’re going to dive right into the movie now. There is more to say about Rob Zombie, but we need to save some of that for the next five reviews that fill out Rob Zombie’s Spookshow. There is a lot to say about the public reception to The Munsters, but I will sprinkle that throughout this review in comparison or contrast to my opinions of how this movie ultimately plays out. So… Let’s just freakin’ do it and get this Spookshow going!
There are a few things I really want to give some appreciation to off the top here. First, this is, indeed, a PG-rated film. This is the only time I can ever expect a Rob Zombie film to be rated under PG-13. Like, ever. Seriously… When we get into the subsequent entries of this month, we’re going to be solidly in the HARD R range, if not Unrated. There’s definitely some whimsy here, right? Zombie is going back to something he grew up loving that isn’t tied to his more mature sensibilities. Keep that in mind because it will play a part in my summation of how I feel about this movie as a whole. Second, I just love that he used the old black and white Universal Pictures logo with the airplane flying around the globe. That’s always fun to see.
The Munsters is a true origin story film. I don’t fully remember if much was ever paid to the origins of the characters in the TV series, but this movie wants to show how these characterse we know came from Transylvania and landed in America. We meet Richard Brake playing the mad scientist, Dr. Henry Augustus Wolfgang, and his hunchback assistant, Floop. They are out grave robbing. Their first stop is the tomb of the famous pianist, Franz Pennywhacker, who they discover is a zombie. Dr. Wolfgang is building a human from various parts he and Floop are robbing from the graves at the cemetery. He wants the pianist’s fingers for his creation. So he whacks Pennywhacker on the head to kill him and then playfully poses with the body so Floop can take a picture for posterity.
We then meet one and a half characters we are familiar with from the TV show – Grandpa and his servant, Igor.
Grandpa, in true, classic Grandpa fashion, has thrown his back out as he stretches after rising from his coffin. Igor helps snap his back into shape. Now, why did I say one and a half characters were introduced here that we should know? Well, that’s because the Igor we know from the TV show is a bat. We’ll see how he gets to that state in this movie. Remember, this is an origin tale.
In another classic Grandpa moment, he is curious where his daughter, Lily, is tonight. Well, Grandpa, only known as The Count in this movie, is very interested in marrying Lily off to a “proper” suitor. In this case, he is excited when Igor tells him that Lily is on a date with Orlock (also played by Richard Brake, done up as a good ol’ Nosferatu). You see, Orlock is a vampire like he and his daughter. He’s also frickin’ loaded.
This movie does a really good job with a couple of things about these characters that fans of the TV show would appreciate. Grandpa Munster never totally approved of Herman. While the two of them were always really pretty great together, especially when they were into shenanigans together, Grandpa thought Herman was a buffoon that Lily was too good for. The other thing this movie does a good job of is setting the stage early here… Lily is a romantic. She’s not interested in Orlock’s money. He’s a gross eater at the Egyptian/mummy-themed restaurant. He is a little too into his pet rats. He’s way too into the Bubonic Plague. All around them, lovers are happy or getting the big romantic gestures thrown at each other. Lily is feeling nothing here for Orlock. That plays back to how much in love she is with Herman, which fans will know very well.
Again, we’re seeing Zombie really put his love of this old show into play, and it really should be commended.
The Count has another child, Lester. Lester is a werewolf who is in pretty deep to a Romani lady, Zoya Krupp. She’s going to effectively set up the B plot for the movie. She wants to buy the Count’s castle and turn it into a touristy casino (for reasons we will understand later). The Count clearly plays favorites and has no time for Lester’s pitch on behalf of Zoya. In fact, he hangs up on Lester because he’s too busy watching Abbott and Costello on TV.
Let’s get back around to Dr. Wolfgang’s building of a creature. Twin brothers, Shelly and Shecky Von Rathbone, have both died recently. Wolfgang wants Floop to obtain the head of Shelly because he was a brilliant astrophysicist. Unfortunately, Floop is a moron and obtains the head of Shecky, a hack comedian who was killed by one of his hecklers. This is the whole reason why Herman Munster is the way he is.
Oh yeah… Wolfgang is building Herman Munster. Did… did you kind of figure that out already? Initially, Wolfgang wants to name his modern Prometheus something grand and godly, like Uranus. Floop thinks this is a really bad idea to have a guy going around with the name Uranus. So he flippantly suggests the name Herman because he knew a good dude named Herman. For a last name… I dunno… how about Munster? Like the cheese on Floop’s sandwich?
The next morning, on Good Morning Transylvania, Dr. Wolfgang is going to unveil his great creation. This is happening during a conversation between Lily and her father about how Orlock didn’t make her blood run cold with the romantic excitement she wants to feel. However, with one look at Herman, Lily is head over heels.
This does not please the Count, and it very much surprises Igor. By the way, Igor is played by Sylvester McCoy. He’s best known to the world over as the Seventh Doctor, the final Doctor from the Classic Doctor Who era. As much as I love seeing him outside of that world famous role, I especially love the thought that he’s in a Rob Zombie film.
Anyway, it doesn’t take long for Herman to be outed as not having the Shelly Von Rathbone brain. He’s uninterested in playing the piano with the great pianist’s fingers. He likes to tell really bad jokes. He basically acts a buffoon. While Igor thinks this act is funny, the Count already has a strong distaste for Herman. He even goes so far as to say he can feel his brain cells melting (something I definitely could hear Al Lewis say as Grandpa in an episode of the series).
But Lily? She’s in love and refuses to allow Igor to turn the channel by using some dark, glowy-eyed powers.
Dr. Wolfgang is quite depressed. He thought this was going to be a great invention. The brain of a supergenius inside the body of a hulking body of perfection. Floop, on the other hand, sees this as a perfect opportunity to see Herman’s name in lights. The next thing we know, he’s performing a rock concert with his band, The Punk Rods. Herman isn’t so sure he’s really into the idea of being a musician. He really wants to stay a comedian. Floop tries telling him that he’s got honeys lining up at his door for him as a rock star.
Little does he know, one of those honeys is Lily.
Meanwhile, Zoya is putting more pressure on Lester to get the deed to the Count’s castle. If he doesn’t get the deed in two weeks, Zoya is going to get his head instead. At least Lester is good for one thing. He at least can tell Lily where she can find Herman so she can invite him to dinner at her place.
The following night, Herman goes to have dinner with Lily and the Count. The first interaction between the Count and Herman is pretty contentious. He’s especially sharp-tongued when he bemoans how Herman decided to bring Lily lilies because her name is Lily. He can barely hide his disdain for this dufus despite how happy his daughter is. He finally relents a little bit to ask Herman to tell one of his side-splittin’ jokes.
People can have whatever opinions they have about Sheri Moon Zombie playing Lily or Jeff Daniel Phillips as Herman, especially compared to Fred Gwynne and Yvonne De Carlo. After all, those are iconic portrayals and casting moves. And then you have Al Lewis who would forever be known as “Grandpa Munster.” But goddamn Daniel Roebuck is nailing that role. It’s like Lewis is resurrected on screen for this movie.
Roebuck sounds like Lewis. He is interacting with the character of Herman like Lewis did with Gwynne. It’s a wonderful bit of casting to put Roebuck in that role. He’s just killing it. The best thing about this is that this isn’t an imitation. It’s just a perfect performance.
After separating themselves from the grouchy father figure, Herman and Lily go for a walk that cements that they are the real deal. This leads to a classic love montage set to Herman and Lily singing “I Got You Babe” as if they are Sonny and Cher. They meet up with Lily’s uncle Gilbert, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Eventually, Herman proposes to Lily. She accepts.
However, the Count is looking for a spell that will help him break Lily and Herman up. He’s absolutely giddy when he finds the spell he needs from his big book of magic stuffs. Igor, however, isn’t so sure he should break the two lovebirds up. Lily seems genuinely happy. But, you know what? That Count has no time for Igor’s betrayal and taking his daughter’s side in this conundrum.
The Count’s first attempt to create the perfect man to swing in and steal Lily’s heart is a failure. Instead of putting the chest hair of Tarzan into the potion, he accidentally put the chest hair of Tarzan’s chimp, Cheetah, into the potion, delivering him a cowboy monkey. He’s literally floored when he sees Lily come home with a gigantic spider-shaped engagement ring sparkling on her finger.
Just as things are looking really good for Herman and Lily getting married, Lester comes back in with his opportunity to pay off his debt to Zoya, and, of course, keep his head. He approaches Herman as his future brother-in-law with a deal of a lifetime. He tricks Herman into signing a piece of paper, making it sound like he would be giving his wife a fantastic future with all sorts of money. Naturally, he’s signing over the castle’s deed to Lester.
Herman and Lily get married, much to the Count’s dismay. He even attempts to speak up, but Lily uses her glowy eyes and some Palpatine finger lightning to shut him up. A drunken Dr. Wolfgang, who returned from taking a vacation at a leper colony, only to come back with leprosy himself, tells the Count that Herman’s his problem now. This causes the Count to break down crying, after calling Herman a “creampuff” for crying during his vows.
While driving home after the wedding, Lily and Herman find Lester on the side of the road. Lester congratulates them and mentions making money with Herman. Lily asks if Herman gave Lester money or got into some boneheaded business deal with him. After all, she would hate to think she just threw her life away marrying a blockhead who would be no good with money. Herman nervously denies doing anything with Lester.
Lester turns the deed with Herman’s signature on it to Zoya. Meanwhile, Herman and Lily honeymoon in Paris. There, they talk about how homely all the French people are. Also, the locals all have such strange reactions to foreigners. When they send an entire outdoor restaurant into hysterics when the patrons see them, they laugh about it as if it’s a funny act everyone is putting on for them.
They see in the paper that there is supposedly a monster haunting the underground catacombs. They decide this is the perfect romantic activity for them to do together. Herman captures the creature and returns it to Lily, who finds it adorable. They will name the creature, a baby fire-breathing dragon, “Spot.”
Back in Transylvania, Zoya sends an eviction notice to the Count. You see, Zoya is one of the Count’s many ex-wives. He once broke her heart, so she is now getting revenge. She plans to relegate her ex to a life of peasantry.
Knowing Herman is the reason for all this, he goes to Paris to reveal what Herman did by signing the deed of the castle over to Zoya. Herman decides there is only one thing to do. He will hold his breath until they get the castle back. The Count and Lily come up with a better plan. They will call the lawyer, Shady MaGoon, the guy who is such a down and dirty lawyer, he can win any case by any means necessary. However, Shady MaGoon says they have no case and no shot at winning the castle back.
Herman watches a show starring the TV personality Zombo. Herman figures that if Zombo can be a star in Hollywood, there’s no chance he can’t make it big. So, Herman, Lily, and the Count are going to go to America and start a new life. Herman specifically denies taking Igor with them, so the Count uses a potion to turn him into a bat that can then stow away with the Munsters.
Also, the perfect sight gag right there in the above image. Remember when I mentioned earlier that Orlock is a little too into his rat pets? Well, he’s definitely IN them because they ate him alive. That’s brilliant.
Also brilliant? As the Munsters plan their new living situation in America, they contact a real estate agent who is trying to place them into the last unit of a new neighborhood. That real estate agent is played by none other than Elvira herself, Cassandra Peterson. Hearing her speak lines to “Mrs. Munster” is kind of a beautiful thing.
As an aside, Cassandra Peterson is a lovely person in real life. I met her at a Days of the Dead convention some years ago. She is so wonderful and legitimately wants to chat with you for a moment as you move through her line. I got a copy of Horrorhound Magazine signed and a picture with her.
Alright, we’re in the home stretch now, Enemaniacs. The Munsters are on an Air Transylvania flight to America. Herman is getting wasted on Shirley Temples, and the family’s appearance is so unsettling to the stewardess that she decides to jump out of the plane after delivering him another drink. When they arrive at the real estate agent’s office, she passes out upon seeing Herman. She thinks they are dressed for Halloween since she warned them that she’s going to a costume party after showing them the property they are buying. Naturally, as they drive through the new Mockingbird Heights neighborhood, the whole place is decked out for a big Halloween celebration, making the Munsters think maybe they will be the boring ones on the street.
The real estate agent wants to show them a nice modern house, but the Munsters fall in love with the spooky house that she was hoping to get rid of in order to expand the neighborhood. They are initially offended that she might be trying to sell them a shabby dump that she was trying to show them when they want that beautiful house at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.
She instantly tells them that they can have the house she can’t sell. She’s excited that the Munsters might restore it to its former glory. They move in instantly. Which lands the Munsters (along with bat Igor and their dragon Spot) at the home we all know them to live at.
Things aren’t as perfect as they might seem. They have their dream house, but they are flat busted. Herman says that he will go out first thing in the morning to find a job. They overhear the excitement at the street party outside. They go out to introduce themselves to the locals, who they think are just like they are, what with the costumes and what have you. The locals even give the Munsters the best costume award, which Herman thinks must be a beauty contest, and Grandpa wants to collect the prize money and GTFO before they change their minds.
So they have a little money. They are ingratiating themselves with the neighborhood. Herman even gets an offer to work at a funeral parlor. The owners need someone who can handle moving some of the larger bodies from box to box.
The next morning, though, the Munsters are horrified to find that the people they thought they were sharing the neighborhood with are actually monsters! And by that, they are just normal suburbanites. They now have to figure out what they are going to do. Herman wonders how can they live with people who look like that? Lily scolds Herman for being so bigoted. A knock comes to the door, and Lily says they will answer the door and greet whoever is there with decency.
Well, it’s Lester. None of the Munsters are happy to see him. But he is the bearer of good news. After he settled his business with Zoya, he took off to Las Vegas. He made a killing out there and owed Herman a share. The Munsters are rich. And the next time we see them, Spot will grow to massive proportions, a rather homely distant relative will move in with them, and Herman and Lily will have a son who takes after his uncle.
Alright, so… here’s the score. I like this movie. Yes, it is not perfect. Yes, there are a couple of things I could nitpick if I really wanted to go that deep, and I will. But this is the second time I watched the movie. The first time I thought, “Hey, this wasn’t nearly as bad as all the ‘RoB zOmBiE jUsT cAsTs HiS wIfE iN eVeRyThInG’ knuckleheads said. In fact, there are things I do like in this.” This second time around, I had a blast watching this.
Let me spell out some of the things that I do have some frustrations with. First, the more nitpicky side of the fence. I think this movie was going to be a hard sell for a lot of folks because it does use some dated humor and some old-style comedic set-ups and pay-offs. That might come off as hokey or try-hard to some. Fine, and honestly, that’s not my problem. That’s because, not so long ago, I watched Munster Go Home! from the 60s. Honestly, this movie matches a lot of that same energy from both that theatrical movie and the TV series. Second nitpick, the movie ends extremely quick in a way that has that “Oops, we ran out of money!” sort of way… oddly enough, while characters are throwing money in the air and celebrating becoming rich. To me, that’s a bigger nitpick than the old-timey sitcom style of humor.
I do have three larger beefs that I can wholeheartedly criticize the movie for. First, I wish this was in black and white. The color, while fun and vibrant at times, also has the double-edged sword of making the movie look cheap. Part of this was the use of sets. This is probably put into play because Zombie wanted this movie to look like a TV show that also used sets, and the fact that this was effectively a COVID-era movie requiring closed sets, small casts, etc. But… I wish this were in black and white. I think that would have instantly silenced some of the people who instantly piled on (and we will be talking about those idiots shortly) when the trailer dropped. While I cared less about the look of the movie than I did the first time I watched this, it remains in the back of my mind that I wish there was a black and white version of this movie, because just looking at that recreation of the opening of the show at the end of this movie, it looks so good in black and white.
The other things that kept jarring me both times I watched this movie were on the technical side. I don’t fully care for how Rob Zombie shot this movie. There are a lot of times when he is moving the camera in weird ways that just didn’t sit right with me. If he wanted this to really fall in line with how the show would have looked, plucked right out of the 60s and into the 2020s, I would have much preferred a boring stationary camera. On top of that, he consistently shot through other foreground objects. In Grandpa’s lab, he’s shooting through hoses and tubes and beakers. When Herman was getting tricked by Lester, Zombie often had shots through the gates/fence of the cathedral where Herman and Lily were getting married. It was distracting when it didn’t need to be. It felt cluttered and framed what we were supposed to be seeing in a very awkward way.
But now, let’s praise this movie where it deserves to be praised. I already talked about much I loved Daniel Roebuck as the Count. He was perfect. No notes whatsoever. His interactions with Sylvester McCoy crackled with chemistry. I laughed multiple times during the scenes in which he is flustered, frustrated, or, later, in cahoots with Herman. That’s what that character does, and it made the original TV show so beloved to many (myself included). Roebuck, McCoy, and Phillips do some real good work in those interactions.
For all those knuckleheads who just want to pile on the now groan-worthy critique of Zombie casting his wife in his movies, Sheri Moon Zombie is really doing a pretty good job as Lily here. Look, she’s not the most range-y actress. She has a lane, and her husband knows what it is. Frankly, here, I don’t think I’m watching Sheri Moon Zombie cosplaying Lily Munster. I’m seeing Lily Munster. It’s not Yvonne De Carlo (because no one else will be), but it’s Lily Munster. The same goes for Jeff Daniel Phillips. He does Herman Munster things that Fred Gwynne made famous, but I don’t think he is doing a Fred Gwynne impersonation. That’s a good thing. I’m not watching someone unworthy in that main role. I’m seeing Herman Munster, and it works.
I personally found this movie to be a really good love letter to The Munsters. It’s not perfect. It’s a little all over the place sometimes, but I enjoyed it. I thought it was much funnier this second time around when I already knew I didn’t hate this movie like so many others looking to juice their YouTube viewership numbers when it was the soup d’jour for the peanut gallery. Unburdened by that weight it had when it first released, this was a very fun watch. I’m glad I decided to kick this month off with this movie. Honestly, I would be happy for this to show up anywhere during Rob Zombie’s Spookshow.
Is this movie for everyone? No. Is this movie for people who like the old TV version of The Munsters? Yeah, I kind of think it is. You can’t go in thinking it will be a perfect 1:1 to that original series. You have to realize this is a guy who has long loved the series, the property, and the characters, and he is not going to put something on that screen that he doesn’t think fans of that same thing would hate. If you can look past some of the wonkiness and accept that this is a love letter to The Munsters, I think you can see how this movie is doing a lot of good things and keeping that light, fun, chuckle-worthy attitude that made you love the series to begin with.
Alright… We’re off to a fast start here with Rob Zombie’s Spookshow. Next week, we’re going a little animated. In 2009, the same year as another movie being covered here later this month, Zombie released an animated movie that features a character with whom he also did some comic book stories. It’s another pastiche of another popular thing in the 60s and 70s – the superhero luchador. Join me for The Haunted World of El Superbeasto!
Until then, I’m gonna hang out with Grandpa Munster and see what he’s cooking up in the basement of 1313 Mockingbird Lane.
