Category: Theme Months

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

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Happy Friday the 13th, folks.  Even though this occurs a couple times every year, this one is kinda special.  It isn’t just Friday the 13th, but it’s a Friday the 13th in October, the undisputed scariest month on the calendar.  It’s like a double Friday the 13th!  If only it was also a full moon then everyone everywhere would just get murdered by guys in hockey masks, werewolves, Michael Myers, or Irish toy makers.

This is the perfect chance for me to talk about my favorite Jason Voorhees movie – Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. Continue reading “Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)” →

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the most beloved horror movies of the modern era.  It’s full of intensity, actual terrifying moments, and visceral violence that stays with you for years after you watch it.  It came out in 1974 during the golden age of exploitation horror before the genre was essentially taken over by the slasher genre that Halloween gave birth to in the late 70s.

The film also boasts that it has connections to real life events.  Well…  Sort of.  Leatherface was inspired by Ed Gein who was a real life serial killer who did indeed take skin from his victims and started making a skin suit.  There are some minor plot details that also came from the Gein case, but that was all in Wisconsin, not Texas. Continue reading “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)” →

Independents’ Day (2016)

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The Asylum Month thankfully comes to a close as we look at another dumb titled movie that is meant to capitalize off dumb fuckshit people willing to rent absolutely anything from Family Video to dumb down their fuckface brains and think they “done seen that one movie that came out last week at the video store!”

Fuck.  I’m angry.  The world is shit.  Everything good and right in this world sucks donkey balls.  The Asylum has sucked the soul out of me.  I’m not exactly sure how to go on after a month of giant spiders fighting army chicks, a shitty Sherlock Holmes, and the worst fucking movie I’ve ever laid eyes on.  Now this.  Now this dumb fucking movie with a dumb fucking title… Continue reading “Independents’ Day (2016)” →

Sherlock Holmes (2010)

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Oh boy…  After last week’s utter debacle, I could certainly use a little British classiness to bounce back.  Too bad it’s still an Asylum fuckfest abortion.

Sherlock Holmes, as a character, first appeared in print in 1887 and was an immediate success for author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  I could spend a long time giving you more history about the character being one of the most famous detectives in all of history, and how many books he was in, and what have you, but I’ll save that for Wikipedia to tell you all about. Continue reading “Sherlock Holmes (2010)” →

Atlantic Rim (2013)

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Round 2 of my month long battle against The Asylum, makers of crap and shit that I disdain since, like, I dunno…  2004 or something.  I don’t care how long they’ve been at this.  This time, I have a real offensive one: Atlantic Rim.

This is an instance where The Asylum simply took the title to a movie coming out (i.e. Pacific Rim), and modified it only slightly to give it a new title that cannot lead to a lawsuit against them, but, yet, still keep some sort of visual similarity to the movie it is ripping off. Continue reading “Atlantic Rim (2013)” →

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

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Sigh.

You people suck.  I mean it.  You guys are real assholes.

A couple months ago, I put out the call to action for B-Movie Enema Facebook followers to vote for what my May 2017 theme was going to be.  You had marvelous choices.  You could have picked more 80s horror (I subscribe to an entire channel on YouTube that I wanted to pull from).  You could have picked Cannon Films.  You could have chosen the chance to revisit movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  Hell, you could have picked to send me to the Sharknado series!  Shark-fucking-nado! Continue reading “Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)” →

Paradise (1982)

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Let’s jump back, for a moment, to 1980.  At the time, a young actress by the name of Brooke Shields was considered both a very pretty girl, and an up and coming actress.  In 1978, Shields starred in a movie called Pretty Baby which covered the taboo topic of child prostitution in the early 20th century.  She was 12 at the time of shooting, and she appeared nude in the film.  If you were 10 to maybe 15 years old at the time, you might have thought that was the tits, but if you were older, you’d probably be some sort of sex weirdo if you found any pleasure in that. Continue reading “Paradise (1982)” →

Date with an Angel (1987)

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I think I’m going to wish I had picked a different movie to include in Phoebe Cates Month.  I mean, Shag is a charming little movie (despite how awkwardly I was turned on by dance numbers including the Confederate flag).  Baby Sister was actually much better than I expected a disposable movie of the week to be.  Next week’s movie, Paradise, has a whole lot going for it despite it being a pretty bad knockoff of an already bad movie.

But, no, I had to include 1987’s Date with an Angel. Continue reading “Date with an Angel (1987)” →