Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

Oh sweet fuckin’ Christmas have I got a treat for you this week.

Most wouldn’t think this about me (you know, because I’m a pretty pasty white dude and all), but I love, and I mean LOVE, blaxploitation movies.  They are so fucking cool that I dare you to present to me any five cool guys, and I promise you their combined coolness cannot match up to a single one of the blaxploitation flicks of the 70s.  The ones that are so much cooler than anything in this universe, like Shaft, Superfly, or [insert Pam Grier movie here], you are going to have a real hard time presenting the top 100 coolest people in the world and me say that they are collectively cooler than any of the best of the best in blaxploitation. Continue reading “Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976)” →

Thirst (1979)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

This week’s B-Movie Enema is a bit of a change of pace.  First, it’s a good movie.  Second, it’s an interesting take on an old idea.

From Australia, allow me to present to you Rod Hardy’s Thirst…

I should note that the director, Hardy, has gone on to work on some things of note relatively recently.  He’s directed episodes of Battlestar Galactica, The X-Files, The Librarians, and Supernatural.  So he’s no schlub.  The film also stars a beautiful actress by the name of Chantal Contouri who is a little Greek and a little Australian, and all around alright by me.  While she did have a brief stint on General Hospital in the late 80s, for the most part, she’s primarily stayed in Australia and been on many of their TV shows.  Unfortunately, we don’t get many of those so I can’t give any overview of that in any real sense like the shows that Rod Hardy worked on here in the States. Continue reading “Thirst (1979)” →

King Solomon’s Mines (1985)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Finally!  Cannon Films arrives to an appointment for a B-Movie Enema!  Let us rejoice!

So yes, this blog is all about the little movies.  Those that get forgotten because they weren’t as big budget as Star Wars, or as classic as Casablanca, or as divisive among the sexes like Titanic (and, trust me, all the dudes LOVE Titanic).  Then we get the 80s powerhouse studio, Cannon Films, and they kinda blow the lid off of what truly is a B-movie.

They would produce big time action movies like Delta Force, or spend tons of money on a single star like Sylvester Stallone.  They make sci-fi movies with a huge scope like Lifeforce or Masters of the Universe.  Or grand adventures like today’s film, King Solomon’s Mines. Continue reading “King Solomon’s Mines (1985)” →

Low Blow (1986)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Already the third film featured from Crown International Pictures in just the first eight B-Movie Enemas, 1986’s Low Blow delivers some action.

I can only say some action because either this is a horrible failure of an action flick or it’s the most brilliant movie ever made to never be seen.  I’ll explain during the course of this near pornographic examination of this flick.

We’ll get to the synopsis momentarily.  I have to say that Mr. Low Blow here to our left is NOT our action star.  He’s not even a supporting character.  He does have a ridiculous arm as if Rob Liefeld (where my comic nerds at, yo?) got hired to totally fuck up the proportions of the man’s head to torso to forearm to fist ratio. Continue reading “Low Blow (1986)” →

The Brainiac (1962)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

The doctor is back in…  For better or worse.

B-Movie Enema returns with a tale of horror from south of the border!  This little nightmare fever dream of Donald Trump’s is called The Brainiac (also known as El Baron del Terror in its native Spanish).

“So what’s this all about?” you ask?  Based on the poster you have a pretty cool demon-like dude, a woman who was clearly shocked to be told she is in this movie, and what appears to be a couple guys with some flamethrowers. Continue reading “The Brainiac (1962)” →

The Teacher (1974)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Okay, let’s get down to some sexy corrupting of youth and stuff!  This week’s enema will be something more along the lines of the 1970s version of Cinemax – a little movie that would have likely played in Grindhouse theaters called The Teacher.

This is a bit of a departure from the first five movies I’ve featured.  Those first five were all pretty much horror movies in some way, shape, or form.  You know, because October and shit.  This time I wanted to do something a little different.  This movie stars Jay North of Dennis the Menace fame.  Yeah.  That little shit grew up to screw his teacher (played by Angel Thompkins). Continue reading “The Teacher (1974)” →

Oasis of the Zombies (1981)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Happy Halloween!

When I first thought about what it would be that I would watch for the Halloween edition of B-Movie Enema, I had some classics.  I thought about something classic like The Creature from the Black Lagoon or The Giant Claw.  I even thought about doing one of the Friday the 13th movies.

But then, I was all like, “Fuck it…  Oasis of the Zombies.”

Here we have a French production about some treasure hunters in a film by Jesus Franco.  It’s got Nazi zombies, so how can it be bad?  (That’s not me setting up the fact that it’s likely bad.  I’m being serious, how bad can a movie featuring Nazi zombies be bad???) Continue reading “Oasis of the Zombies (1981)” →

Messiah of Evil (1973)

Published on by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

From the Makers of American Graffiti…

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, “You dumb, silly bastard, you.  No way the makers of a fine, upstanding movie like American Graffiti would make something like this.”  Think again, dear readers.

From the writing team of Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz comes 1973’s Messiah of Evil.  Huyck and Katz collaborated a few times, and, yes, one was the aforementioned American Graffiti.  Another they worked on was a little known film by the title of Howard the Duck, but that’s for another time.  Oh, I promise you that is for another time. Continue reading “Messiah of Evil (1973)” →