Tag: science fiction

Independents’ Day (2016)

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The Asylum Month thankfully comes to a close as we look at another dumb titled movie that is meant to capitalize off dumb fuckshit people willing to rent absolutely anything from Family Video to dumb down their fuckface brains and think they “done seen that one movie that came out last week at the video store!”

Fuck.  I’m angry.  The world is shit.  Everything good and right in this world sucks donkey balls.  The Asylum has sucked the soul out of me.  I’m not exactly sure how to go on after a month of giant spiders fighting army chicks, a shitty Sherlock Holmes, and the worst fucking movie I’ve ever laid eyes on.  Now this.  Now this dumb fucking movie with a dumb fucking title… Continue reading “Independents’ Day (2016)” →

Sherlock Holmes (2010)

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Oh boy…  After last week’s utter debacle, I could certainly use a little British classiness to bounce back.  Too bad it’s still an Asylum fuckfest abortion.

Sherlock Holmes, as a character, first appeared in print in 1887 and was an immediate success for author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  I could spend a long time giving you more history about the character being one of the most famous detectives in all of history, and how many books he was in, and what have you, but I’ll save that for Wikipedia to tell you all about. Continue reading “Sherlock Holmes (2010)” →

Atlantic Rim (2013)

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Round 2 of my month long battle against The Asylum, makers of crap and shit that I disdain since, like, I dunno…  2004 or something.  I don’t care how long they’ve been at this.  This time, I have a real offensive one: Atlantic Rim.

This is an instance where The Asylum simply took the title to a movie coming out (i.e. Pacific Rim), and modified it only slightly to give it a new title that cannot lead to a lawsuit against them, but, yet, still keep some sort of visual similarity to the movie it is ripping off. Continue reading “Atlantic Rim (2013)” →

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

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Sigh.

You people suck.  I mean it.  You guys are real assholes.

A couple months ago, I put out the call to action for B-Movie Enema Facebook followers to vote for what my May 2017 theme was going to be.  You had marvelous choices.  You could have picked more 80s horror (I subscribe to an entire channel on YouTube that I wanted to pull from).  You could have picked Cannon Films.  You could have chosen the chance to revisit movies from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  Hell, you could have picked to send me to the Sharknado series!  Shark-fucking-nado! Continue reading “Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)” →

Trancers (1984)

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Mercifully, Full Moon Fever February is coming to an end.

All month, I had to deal with Charles Band.  I thought we started nicely with Puppet Master.  Then things went downhill with The Gingerdead Man and Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  So I spent my birth month begging for sweet release from this cursed existence.  Thank fuck it’s here…

In the form of Tim Thomerson…

As Jack Deth. Continue reading “Trancers (1984)” →

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)

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Well, because the sweet embrace of death didn’t come to pass last week, I guess I have to continue Full Moon Fever.  At least there’s a chick in her bra and panties on the cover of this week’s movie!

Er…  I mean.  That had zero bearing on me choosing this movie – Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt.  No, that was the $2.95 price tag at the local Dollar General.

And the promise of tits.  Lots and lots of tits. Continue reading “Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)” →

Deadly Friend (1986)

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Just because it seems as though I haven’t had enough of the whole “likable female lead gets killed” theme so far for 2017…

Oh shit, spoilers: Kristy Swanson plays a completely, totally likable character and gets straight murdered in this movie.

Anyway, like I was saying, this week, we jump right into one of the strangest movies I’ve seen in a while.  Okay, that’s a massive fucking lie.  Mystics in Bali was one of the most bonkers things I may have ever seen ever.  Again, let me get back on track here – this week’s feature, Deadly Friend, is strange not because of how the movie itself plays out or how completely, totally 80s it is, but in how it is a terribly awkward follow-up for Wes Craven after his A Nightmare on Elm Street revitalized the horror genre in the middle of the decade. Continue reading “Deadly Friend (1986)” →

Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)

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This week’s B-Movie Enema is a bit of a treat – and the man who made it is fascinating.  I’m going to take a look at Teenagers from Outer Space.

This film, made almost single-handily on a production level by Tom Graeff, is not exactly all that well-known.  It didn’t receive particularly good reviews.  It isn’t exactly remembered in any spectacular way.  In fact, the most famous it probably ever got was appearing on a 1992 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Continue reading “Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)” →