Oh boy…  That Emanuelle girl is back, and guess what, Enemaniacs…  She’s more erotic and exotic than ever!

That’s how they advertised Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals on posters and various other ads.  That does beg the question of exactly how erotic she can be if there are cannibals and shit running about.  Trust me, folks, I have seen some Italian cannibal flicks and they tend not to be especially sexy.  In fact, they tend to be, like, super duper gross.

So leave it to Joe D’Amato to come in and see what he can do.  First thing’s first, he brings Laura Gemser along as a photojournalist who finds a woman in a loony bin who isn’t just a cannibal herself, but has Amazonian tattoos all over her skin.  That’s a plus…  Not the tatted up cannibal broad, but Laura Gemser.  She’s always welcome here at B-Movie Enema.

This is part of the Black Emanuelle series.  Now, in and of itself, Black Emanuelle was there to cash in on the French’s Emmanuelle with Sylvia Kristel.  Kristel’s Emmanuelle was much more of a woman who wanted to explore her sexuality.  She was mostly the wife of a diplomat.  Gemser’s Black Emanuelle was a journalist and it usually led her down the various paths that ultimately did lead to some sexual and psycho-sexual adventures.  Really, though, it was a total copy and cash in sort of deal.  I don’t think anyone really cared that it was either.

Now, on the back of the Severin Films release of Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals box, it says: “In 1977, infamous filth auteur Joe D’Amato combined the insane extremes of eroticism and cannibalism for the most groin-grinding, gut-munching, gore-spewing EuroSleaze saga of them all…”  That might just be one of my very favorite entries from any movie’s box I’ve ever read.  The Black Emanuelle series was already running for a few years.  Where the cannibals come in, though, is due to the popularity of Ruggero Deodato’s Ultimo mondo cannibale which basically ushered in the Italian cannibal craze.  Of course, Deodato would be best known for Cannibal Holocaust, but he was already in the business of doing the whole cannibal thing.

I find it funny that D’Amato was never shy about how he flat out ripped it off and stuck the Black Emanuelle character into the story.  He was following a trend and dammit if he was going to miss out on the opportunity!

Of course, this is the second time we have checked in with Emanuelle as played by Laura Gemser.  The last time was for Bruno Mattei’s Violence in a Women’s Prison.  While D’Amato would make five Black Emanuelle movies in the course of two years (three of which released in 1977 alone), Bruno Mattei took over in 1982 and did two more.  That said the very first two films in the series were done by Bitto Albertini before D’Amato took over.  Interestingly, the only film Gemser did not appear as Emanuelle in the eight years the series spanned, was Albertini’s Black Emanuelle 2.

Well, anyway, I’m looking forward to the gross sexiness of soft core porn and cannibals, how’s about you?

The movie opens with some aerial shots of New York City with a rockin’ theme song at the beginning of the movie.  I’m sure with a song like below, there is no possible chance this turns into a fucking nightmare of people eating people alive or nuthin’.

The film then tells us that this is based on a true story as reported by journalist Jennifer O’Sullivan.  Now, I must ask…  Who the fuck is Jennifer O’Sullivan?  I thought this was Emanuelle’s movie.  As soon as I begin to ponder that very question, a nurse at the loony bin comes running out of a room with a tit bitten off.  It was apparently bitten off by the girl who was brought in from that cannibal tribe.

Now, here’s where things get weird.  No, it isn’t the shitty overdub this movie employs.  Instead, I find it very peculiar that Emanuelle is seemingly NOT BOTHERED IN THE LEAST that she just saw the inner workings of some chick’s mammary.  She’s just standing there, watching.  I suppose I should state that she’s here undercover.  She carries around a doll that she uses to snap pictures of the various crazies in this psycho ward.

A doctor comes out and asks her why she is out in the open like this and scolds her for potentially blowing her cover.  I suppose that’s not great for any investigative journalist to be found out when undercover.  I also suppose it ain’t great for a place like this for fear of uncovering poor practices or, ya know… Exploiting the poor folks inside.  That said…  Maybe have her in the gowns that EVERY OTHER person in there as a patient is wearing and not normal street clothes, maybe?

Also, I like that this is New York City, but everyone has extremely thick European accents.  They didn’t even get people to dub this movie who has English as their first language.  The doctor telling Emanuelle to quit with the bullshit sounds like English is his fifth language.  Anyway, Emanuelle wakes up in the middle of the night, goes to the cannibal’s room where she’s tied down, and finger fucks her.

Wait…  What?!?

What the actual fuck, Emanuelle?  Hey, Dr. Crazy European Accent?  This seems like a way bigger problem than her possibly getting found out that she’s undercover!  I mean…  This is kind of a hot role play you can do, among consenting adults, but this…  Yikes.  She leaves her gown up and takes a picture of her.  Then takes it to her editor at the newspaper!

Now I guess the nurse was cruel and a lesbian, so the tit bite was comeuppance, but goddamn.  In the picture, Emanuelle points out the symbol tattooed above the pubic area.  She finds out it is a symbol of a cannibal tribe.  Her editor, naturally, wants her to go check that shit out.  She visits with a curator at a big museum and he takes her to dinner to discuss.  Now, in this Italian picture, guess, just guess, where they go to eat…  Yup, Taco Bell.  Nah, I’m just kidding, of course they go to a fucking Italian restaurant.  I mean, they are making a movie by Italians.  Where the fuck else are they gonna go eat?

So this curator dude, Professor Lester, takes Emanuelle back to his place and shows hier some films of a guy cutting a dude’s head off and then another guy getting his dick cut off… In slow motion…  In close up.  Emanuelle sleeps with Lester because if there is anything that gets a couple people nice and revved up, it’s watching a poor dude’s wang get chunged.

Speaking of someone’s dingaling getting emasculated by Emanuelle, she has a steady dude.  Naturally, his name is Peter because I guess naming him Pud would be too on the nose.  She’s gotta go break up with his lame ass before jet-setting off to the Amazon to deal with some cannibals with Lester.  Before leaving, though, she wants to fuuuuuuck at a dirty ass riverside landing full of rocks and (probably) homeless man puke.

I will give this production one thing…  Aside from a restraining order.  They are actually filming in New York City.  Joe D’Amato spared no expense.  Not only was that shitty riverside spot where Emanuelle and Peter had their hot fuck sesh obviously New York, but on the way to dropping her off to pack for the Amazon, we see a theater is playing The Kentucky Fried Movie and that’s awesome.  I will also say between that scene and later when Emanuelle is flashing back to the previous day when she and Lester played a game of Hide the Thing that Cannibals Love to Cut Off in These Goddamn Italian Cannibal Movies, we are seeing lots and lots of Laura Gemser and I will never say no to that.

And so our movie is off to the Amazon.  On the flight down, Emanuelle asks Lester why cannibals.  She just looks at him and says, “Professor Lester, why cannibals?”  He gives some interesting takes.  Sometimes it’s political – and if you’re a Democrat, you understand that shit all too well.  Sometimes it’s survival, like when that soccer team crashed in the Andes.  The point is, there is more than just the idea that people are uncivilized or even savages.

They speak to a man named Wilkes about the locals and he doesn’t think the group of cannibals the girl’s symbol represented has existed for at least 50 years.  Soon, Wilkes’ daughter, Isabelle, joins them as well as a nun named Sister Angela.  Wilkes says Isabelle will actually be leading the expedition into the jungle because she will be much more useful than an old man and she knows as much as he does anyway.  Lester points out how she’s certainly grown up.

And oh yes, she has.  She watches Lester and Emanuelle fuck like rabbits and gives herself a little bit of the ol’s nipply tweak and some squishy squish with her fingers, if you catch my drift.  Isabelle is played by Monica Zanchi and I can dig what she’s bringing to the film.  I also want to say that even Sister Angela may very well be quite spicy under that habit of hers.  I’m not totally going to bet my next paycheck on Emanuelle getting a look at that heavenly muff, but I’m not going to put the same bet on the opposite either.  I feel like this movie and all our characters are sleazy enough to get that nun fucked hardcore before the end of this movie.

So they travel up the river and into the jungle.  For some reason, Isabelle and Emanuelle decide to take a bath – together and wash each other.  I don’t think they’ve been gone a full day.  I love the construction of this scene because these two hot chicks are washing each other, sexily.  However, there’s also a chimpanzee hanging out too.  He’s playing with cigarettes, and even fucking lights one and smokes it.  Then, he puts on one of the girls’ sunglasses.  But then they keep cutting back to these two babes getting intimate.  Both of these things are uniquely awesome and could carry the scene without the other.  So…  Which one am I supposed to be focused on???  I love naked chicks, but what about a smoking chimpanzee?

The group goes up the river a little way more and decide to make camp.  Emanuelle is attacked by a boa, but is saved by the sharp shooting Donald McKenzie who has set up camp just a little ways away.  He reveals to Sister Angela that there was a massacre at her mission and they don’t know where the priest is, but no sisters or children were left alive.  Back at Donald’s camp, they meet his wife, Maggie.  He tells Emanuelle that he’s a hunter and that’s why they are there.  He nearly has an orgasm talking about hunting and his hunger for the activity.  She asks him why he doesn’t go to Africa where it is safer.  He takes serious exception to that and says they just make you pay to be on a land rover at a safe distance and shoot the animal with no gamesmanship.

That night, while Donald and Maggie are in their beds in their tent, he’s out cold, but she can’t stop watching one of the strapping black dudes with Emanuelle’s party.  She tosses the sheets off her and, of course, she’s completely bush out under there.  She goes to town on herself while watching the dude polishing his gun.  That’s…  That’s not an innuendo.  He’s seriously polishing a rifle.  But he might as well be stroking his giant black hog because Maggie fingers herself to oblivion…  Like, I think she even fingers her asshole that is how into this dude and his gun she is.  She stops, goes out and tells the dude to come with her and he destroys her out in the jungle.  I mean, he completely blows out that pussy of hers.

Jesus Franco Christ this movie is sleazy – and that’s an accomplishment for me to say this.

Lester says he’s not feeling so great about continuing on this trip.  He’s mostly concerned about Sister Angela and Isabelle’s life because this tribe is clearly dangerous.  I think he has a solid point.  These things massacred the people at the mission.  However, I think Emanuelle, being real into the sex, probably believes she should continue on so she can fuck a cannibal.  I mean…  How could you possibly miss out on that opportunity?!?

Donald discovers Maggie getting the lumber from that black dude.  So he goes to the back of Isabelle and Sister Angela’s tent and watches them sleep.  Naturally, he gets ideas.  Probably because Isabelle is half ass out and, of course… Of fucking course, Sister Angela doesn’t sleep with panties.  Goddamn I saw a nun’s bush.  But, hey, I was right…  Sister Angela is spicy.  I’m also sure this will lead to her being sexed (more likely raped) by someone.

Donald confronts Maggie about where she was, and that’s when we learn that Donald is impotent.  I guess he’s so into hunting because he can’t get hard.  He tells her that Lester is suggesting people go back, but they will refuse.  I guess they are looking for a crashed plane that has a bunch of diamonds in it or something.  They continue on with the rest when they discover natives attacked, killed one guide and stole their boats.

They come across several dangerous things like quicksand, and remains of other slaughtered people and their stuff.  They are also being watched by natives too.  When Donald gets a little handsy with Isabelle while she is asleep, she wakes up and is pretty upset.  Lester comes and beats him up a little.

Later, when Sister Angela has to take a wicked dump, Lester sends the strapping black dude with the affection for his gun to watch after her.  When he turns his back for her to do her thing, she goes missing.  They are led into a booby trap-filled portion of the jungle to try to retrieve Sister Angela.  They realize it is getting too dark to carry on too much deeper into the jungle so they decide that maybe they need to stop for the night and continue tomorrow.  That, of course, is a bad idea because the natives are stripping her and cutting off a nipple to eat before killing her.

And what are the rest of the group, you know, her friends, do while they listen to her screams?  Stand around, gesture and then ultimately do nothing.  The natives treat Sister Angela like she’s the fucking serving line at the local Ponderosa before the rest of our cast decide to do much of anything.  They decide that maybe they are planning on taking people one by one instead of attacking all at once.

Maggie and Donald see a part of the plane they’ve been looking for so they feel like they must be getting close to their pay day.  A little ways up the trail, they find Sister Angela.  Well, they find her head on a fucking pike.  Lester decides that maybe it’s time to make camp for the night.  Now…  Far be it for me to argue with our hero of this movie, but you’ve gone much, much deeper into the jungle than you probably really expected.  You have no compass, no boats, no communication to get help, and now three people in your party have been killed.  That’s not even mentioning that you know the natives are watching you.  Sure, this is the place to camp.  Fuck it.

Donald and Maggie, under the guise of him going on watch so Lester can sleep, sneak off and find the plan and the diamonds.  Instead of running like chickens with their heads cut off, they decide to fuck first.  This is a mistake as the natives capture them.  The rest of the group hear Donald fire off shots and find him with a piece of a spear sticking out of his chest.

Thankfully, the downed airplane has some supplies to help them before they go off looking for the tribe’s village.  Lester devises a plan to attack the village on both sides.  Lester and Emanuelle find the outskirts of the village and see Maggie in a cage with natives dancing around her.  Lester says that, if he remembers what he’s read about this group, they are celebrating the festival of fertility or some such shit.  Guess what happens there?  Buncha fuckin’.  Buncha canniballin’.

Donald gets captured, the black dude, Salvatore, is killed, and Isabelle is grabbed for the fuckin’ part of the festival.  Lester and Emanuelle is forced to watch as Maggie and Donald are killed.  Maggie is killed by having her womb cut open and the blood serving as a tasty beverage.  Donald, though…  Oh boy does Donald get it bad.  They tie a thin rope around him and pull from either side until…

Goddamn everyone is going bottomless in this movie.

Anyway, so they strip Isabelle and prepare her for the fertility part of today’s festivities.  That means, they are going to super fuck her.  Their plan is to impregnate her.  Now…  You know what I’ve not seen in this cannibal tribe?  Other women.  They’ve killed two.  And I’ve seen no native women.  I mean, they worship a fertility goddess.  Why not keep some chicks around?  I get it that they sacrifice a pregnant woman to the goddess so they are always in need of at least a handful of chicks, but just killing them all seems extremely wasteful.

While Isabelle takes on these dude’s semen like a stray cat would, Emanuelle paints a symbol onto her naked body.  Her idea is to trick the tribe into thinking she is their river goddess because she does have a similar complexion.  Then they’ll make off with Isabelle because she IS the sacrifice to Emanuelle, so…  This should most definitely work because these people are stupid, right?

Well, it does.  The natives offer up Isabelle and Emanuelle rises from the water and they buy it.  She takes Isabelle, and they get the fuck out of Dodge as fast as they can while the tribe gives chase.  Somehow one grabs hold of the motorboat and tries to grab Emanuelle, but she crushes that dude’s fucking face with a butt of the rifle.

The movie ends with Emanuelle opining about how a journalist will do anything for a story, but with everyone who died, she wonders if she has any right to tell the story.  Lester is like, “Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, babe.”  And then I guess she published the story.

Oh, hey…  Who the fuck is Jennifer O’Sullivan?

Next week, I have a little more of the sexy, but this time, it’s from Australia.  Even though it is an ozploitation classic, it does feature a lovely actress we’ve talked about before.  Join me in a week as I talk about Felicity starring the beautiful Glory Annen!