Felicity (1978)

Oh, and you thought I was done with Severin Films releases that are connected in some way to the French book/movie/character Emmanuelle…

Well, we’re not.  This week’s feature, Felicity, features a young girl, played by the lovely Glory Annen, who is a sheltered Catholic school girl who indulges in erotic novels… as well as a lesbian love affair.  You might remember Annen in another late 70s film in which she was indulging in a lesbian affair that I’ve already covered – Norman J. Warren’s Prey.  In that, she was the kept orphan of her parents’ housekeeper who ran afoul of an alien who was more fox than man.

I find Annen particularly interesting.  If you check out that previous article on Prey, I touch upon her involvement with a man who was possibly involved in some pretty deep criminal shit in the horse racing industry.  Since her death in 2017, her various notes and documents compiled about her relationship with Ivan Allan have begun the editing process to create exposés and a series of books detailing that alleged criminality of Allan. 

What makes Annen considerably more interesting is that she is Canadian, but moved to England to continue her acting studies at Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art.  She simply stayed in England after graduating in 1976.  She ultimately worked all over the world.  She made some movies with Norman J. Warren.  She appeared in some ozploitation flicks in Australia, such as the one we’re here to cover today, and she even did some voice work for overdubs of foreign language films.

None of that stuff feels all that interesting, right?  Well, let’s add to this that for the most part, she was doing mostly sexually explicit stuff in movies.  She wasn’t in mainstream productions.  That seems to almost make it all that much more unlikely that she would go overseas for acting school when she could have been in several sexploitation flicks here in North America.  So you have a Canadian girl who moved over to England, worked there, worked in Australia, and back over here in North America.  I do wonder why she wouldn’t have just made the same types of movies here in North America, but, frankly, who am I to judge?  She got to see the world.

As for Felicity, this week’s focus, I appreciate how many of the posters and various advertising paraphernalia states, with a big ol’ exclamation point, “It’s not just what she does but where she does it!”

Is that referring to her butt?  Is it referring to somewhere public?  Is it shockingly easy for her to have sex in the back of a Volkswagen Beetle?  Movie, I’m gonna need some additional context here, so why not start this movie featuring a Lolita-esque character driving all the Catholic school boys crazy.

The movie opens at Willows End Ladies’ College.  We’re told that sex is basically outlawed, but that didn’t stop the girls from thinking about it almost constantly.  Also, the girls basically sleep in one large dorm room with shitty concrete walls and shitty almost prisoner style beds.  Here we meet Felicity (Annen).  She’s excited to wake up early in the morning to go to ballet class.  This helps stretch the various muscles in her lady bits and makes her feel things she hasn’t felt before.

She also likes to stare in the locker room while girls undress, shower, and dress again.

I also appreciate these things.  I get to watch these girls undress, shower, and what have you.  This film is 3 minutes old and I think I’ve already seen like a billion tits.  That’s just swell.

Felicity started to understand the power her attractiveness has over others.  First, it was the fascination of other girls’ bodies, but then, she understood she had a body like those girls too.  When others would look at her the way she looked at girls, she realized that was pretty hot.  And I agree.  I wholeheartedly agree.   She explained that, at the store she worked at during the holidays, the old shop keep explained that it wasn’t just young boys that liked her.  Old guys who write blogs about sleazy movies like Felicity as well.

The news comes that she is heading off to Asia for her next holiday.  Sadly, her quasi-lesbian lover/friend, Jenny, cannot come with her.  She’s going to stay with friends of her father’s in Hong Kong.  While flying to Asia, she reads her copy of Emmanuelle, and overhears two lovers getting it on behind her.  She watches them fuck.  Now, a couple things…  One, I’m pretty sure everyone on that plane will either see or smell these two fucking.  Two, I congratulate the sound designer for, every now and then, adding some sounds in there that sure do sound like pussy farts.

This causes Felicity to flash back to a night at school in which she slept completely naked and woke up to find Jenny, also naked, and sweaty.  Right there in their shared room, they totally cuddle, make out, and probably munched rug.  Back in the present, on the plane, she decides to get herself off while watching the couple behind her.

Felicity lands in Hong Kong and is met by a driver to pick her up.  The driver tells her that Hong Kong is many things to many people.  Christine, the wealthy friend of Felicity’s father she is staying with, says that things she never could imagine would happen will on this trip.  Now, these are things you hear in a movie like this and you immediately think… “Oh yeah, this is going to be a ridiculously sexy vacation for this young lady.”

Naturally, that night, she hears Christine and her husband, Stephen, just goin’ to Poundtown and decides to go peeping on them.  What I find interesting is that Felicity is a flat out pervert.  She likes to peep.  She likes to play with herself while peeping.  When I do this, I get asked to leave the Sears Automotive Service Station.

Here’s another thing I find interesting in this movie.  This is something that I feel is very 70s and early 80s.  It’s framed very softly.  Take last week, for example.  That movie was sleazy.  It was lots of odd sex in odd situations and gross shit like cannibalism.  It had a girl named Emanuelle, but not THE Emmanuelle.  This movie, it’s soft, it’s handled with some real sensuality.  It feels like the best possible vision everyone has for what their romantic life is like.  It’s beautiful.  It’s nice.  It’s not hardcore.  If it is unrealistic at all, it’s just because everyone fucks awkwardly.  I mean it.  Sex is fucking awkward.  But not in Felicity!  It’s pretty!  It’s everything you want it to be with the people you want it to be with.

All this is to say it also frames everything like a romance novel.  It should be pointed out that Felicity is reading smut like Emmanuelle and The Story of O throughout this movie.  She narrates the film in a way that sounds like a romance novel.  It treats sexual discovery as something beautiful and something that absolutely work out perfectly and not the scary and awkward thing it is.  It’s charming.

Christine takes Felicity on a shopping spree because her clothes are crap.  Well, Christine says they are crap.  I, however, say that is impossible because Glory Annen could wear a pile of shit and it would look sexy.  However, in truth, she is getting new panties.  If you have a trying on panties fetish…  Felicity is YOUR movie.  It’s just scene after scene after scene of her taking off panties and putting on new panties.

After a rousing game of tennis with Stephen, Felicity takes a bath with Stephen peeping on her washing herself and doing things I don’t think people normally do in the tub.  Like she almost treats it like a sexy pool.  After, she goes to the bedroom to put some oil on her body and spots that Stephen was watching her.  So, like a real champ, positions herself so he can see her better.  Later, at a party, Christine introduces Felicity to a mysteriously sexy woman named Me Ling.  She also spots a man named Andrew Jackson with a real pervy mustache watching her.

Andrew takes Felicity for a ride in his fancy car.  He parks it off the side of the road and asks her what she’s wearing under her dress.  He tells her to take off her garter and panties.  When she’s like, “Uh, say what?” he tells her to do as he says.  Now she’s said she would like to have a man like Christine has Stephen, but this seems like, I dunno, creepy?  He first wants her to sit bare-assed on the leather seats in his car.  He then has her get out of the car and wants her on the hood with her legs spread and dress up.  He goes right in on her and she’s not so sure she is enjoying this.  At least she’s making noises like she doesn’t like it and has a look like, “Hmm.  I wanted this, but not this this.  This guy is kind of a creep, isn’t he?”

The next day, Felicity tells Christine she had a great time at the party.  She also asks the older lady if her first time was good.  Christine answers that it was awful and clumsy (remember what I said about sex being awkward).  She reveals she watched her and Stephen the first night, but Christine isn’t upset about it at all.  Me Ling comes and takes Felicity on a tour of Hong Kong.

Me Ling is played by Joni Flynn.  Now, here’s a babe I should know quite well.  She’s only got three credits to her IMDb page – Felicity (no duh), and two other movies I dearly love, Octopussy, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  That’s a hell of a filmography!  Anyway, Me Ling takes Felicity to a bathhouse to get a bath with two sexy ladies and then get oil rubbed all over them as well as made out with.  I…  I think they also are giving happy endings out with this deal too.

Hot.

Anyway, the next day, Me Ling says she doesn’t think Felicity is ready for the next stop on the tour.  Felicity exclaims she’s ready for anything.  Me Ling says the boat will take her to her place of work and, sometimes, home.  She can come aboard but don’t be shocked by what she sees…  Me Ling is a whore.  I don’t mean that in a “Oh look at this slut!  What a whore!” kind of way.  I mean that she works on a boat that is a fucking floating brothel.

I’m trying to figure out exactly how odd this all is.  She loses her virginity to a greasy mustachio’d man on the hood of his sorta okay car.  She then goes to a bathhouse and gets shit rubbed all over her by naked bitches.  Now she’s at a brothel where she’s watching her friend get plugged while she, herself, gets it from behind by a guy she gets introduced to by him sneaking up on her, putting his hand over her mouth, cutting her panties off with a knife, and then just fucking her.

I feel like this is like me saying, “Hey, I don’t know how to swim.  Teach me how?”  You agree.  Then you take me out in the middle of the Pacific, right above the Marianas Trench.  There, you just push me into the water and take the boat way the fuck over there and tell me to swim to where you parked the boat.  Oh, and there are horny dolphins there too.  And they will have their way with me.

I mean, I get it.  She wants to experience all the pleasures the world is willing to stick in her vagina.  I’m on board with this.  It’s her body and her choices.  Yet, she’s essentially been raped and a weirdo with a mustache didn’t exactly make her feel all that great.  I get there are such a thing as rape fantasies.  Sure.  And yes, the idea of having a dick up you from behind while you watch your sexy friend plow another 70s weirdo is definitely hot.  I mean, we’ve all been there, right?  It’s just really, really bizarre that there seems to be no repercussions for any of this.  In reality, at some point, she’s going to get beat up.  Or she’s going to have sex with a guy who has so many genital warts that it looks like a fucked up gourd that you found at your local Meijer and just couldn’t leave without it.  In fact, that gourd leads to you having a thing where you begin to collect the things and, well… It all ends with you being sold into sexual slavery to a seven year old refugee boy.  Wait…

Actually, Me Ling carries a big secret.  She helps a poor family from the mainland who are very, very poor.  I guess Me Ling is a hooker with a heart of gold.  Felicity decides to go back to Christine’s and parts from Me Ling.  She gets followed by some nogoodniks and I guess I should be careful for what I wish for when it comes to repercussions.  Thankfully, a Australian man on a motorcycle named Myles is there to save her before she gets it from those jerks.

He takes her home.  He might be drunk because he can’t walk straight.  I think they are going to fuck.  Oh who am I kidding, of course they are going to fuck.  He passes out on the bed and she draws the curtains while looking at him like he’s next on the menu.  The next scene finds her under the covers and wearing his shirt.  They spend the next few days together.

It is important to know, though, they actually didn’t have sex.  Just slept next to each other.

During the following montage of their time together, a few things happen.  First, we get to hear Linda George’s version of “Mama’s Little Girl” which is this film’s theme song.  I actually quite like this song.  It’s that quintessential early to mid-70s soft rock music.  Dusty Springfield also did a version of the song too.  Next, Felicity explains that she was so happy they learned about each other and became friends before becoming lovers.  It’s like a real relationship.  He also attempts to turn her down for sex saying he leaves in three days for a job, but when she pushes a little more forcefully he decides maybe he should take her for a spin.  I mean it is Glory Annen and all.  This sequence is very nice and seems to be a particularly nice conclusion to her searching for what she’s been after – a real sexual experience that is substantial and truly means something.

Like any good third or fourth date, Myles takes Felicity to a movie.  And by movie, I mean a porno.  This greatly turns her on, so she goes down on him at the theater.  To avoid being caught fucking right there in the theater, they decide to go back to the hotel and finish that blowjob she was offering up.  However, she can’t hardly wait to get back to the hotel.  She wants to fuck right there on the trolley.  So… They do.  It’s kind of reminiscent of the couple on the plane.

I ain’t gonna lie.  This scene on the trolley is pretty fuckin’ sexy.  The way she climbs up on him is pretty hot.  Unfortunately, they can’t finish because a little old Chinese lady joins them on the top level of the double decker trolley.  She next wants to fuck in the alley, but he says they are almost to the room.  She next wants to fuck in the elevator.  I swear, if this guy gets interrupted one more time, his blue balls are going to become a serious issue.

I love these types of shots.

Myles leaves for his job. Felicity is pretty down in the dumps.  Me Ling is there at Christine and Stephen’s, though.  She’ll make it all better.  And by that I mean she’ll make sure I get to see these two babes going at it.  It’s like Christmas in April, I tell ya.

Me Ling agrees to help Felicity find Myles in the town he is working.  Me Ling says that she’s never been there before but knows where it is.  She also says it is a bit of a wild place.  They decide to go looking for him at this club where people sit around watching girls make out with each other.  Suddenly, Felicity is all like, “I can’t watch this anymore.  It’s far too hedonistic.”

Oh, so now she’s the judge of what’s right and proper and what’s not?

Now…  after the bartender gets her a Bacardi and Coke, he asks if she wants to fool around.  She’s like yeah, cool.  Why not?  So they fuck.  But don’t worry, this place with the two girls making out on stage is too hedonistic.  Fucking strangers in the hallway isn’t though.  She tells Me Ling she was into it on a physical level but not on an emotional level.  She also admits that she did see Myles, but didn’t say anything to him.  I think he was also at that hedonistic joint and maybe that’s why she was down with the bartender.  A little boy delivers a note saying where she can find her friend.

She follows the note’s directions and finds a little shack on the beach.  Excitedly, she runs to the door and finds him in bed.  He’s been bitten by a sea snake.  He convalesces and they spend some more time together.  The movie ends with her telling him to stop talking so they can make love and Felicity explaining how her relationship with him taught her about how sex and affection must go hand in hand.

This movie turns out to be kind of sweet.  Are there things that seem implausible or unlikely to happen without much consequence?  Oh, for sure.  However, this is a movie that treats sexuality and sensuality without making it seem dirty or sleazy while teasing you a little bit with both ideas.  What I’m saying is, it feels kind of real in how it expresses itself.  Is it dirty to get a blowjob at a movie?  Or fuck on a bus?  Oh my god, yes.  But do you want it to happen with someone you have extremely deep feelings for?  Oh, for fuck’s certainty, yes.  The movie is at least honest enough to say that when you’re horny, you want to do some pretty sleazy things to the love of your life.  It definitely touched this grumpy old man’s heart (among other things).

Oh, and also, Felicity made sure to follow one very important rule here on B-Movie Enema.  It makes sure to feature a hung peon, and enough wong for the beaver and poon on set.

Next week, I am going to Full Moon Features’ Torchlight Entertainment for another spicy romp – Virgin Hunters (a.k.a. Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000)!  This is another David DeCoteau film, but this time under the pseudonym Ellen Cabot.  We should have a pretty good time, so why not, you know, come back and check it out?

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