Welcome back to B-Movie Enema’s summer-long exploration of camp movies (movies that actually take place at a camp, not campy horror movies), Camp Crappabuttawipe!

Oof magoof, we are really in the dregs of this theme series now. Okay, we’ve had some real bangers here this summer, but the last couple of weeks have been pretty shaky. But now, it’s time to completely pull the rug out from under all of us because this week, we have a movie that is truly, outrageously awful. It’s one of those situations in which I hate putting myself into – the commitment to an entire franchise. For every Sleepaway Camp in a series, there is also a Return to Sleepaway Camp.

Alright, so a quick catch-up here, once again. 1983’s Sleepaway Camp from writer/director Robert Hiltzik became a surprise hit and a bit of an instant cult classic among horror and slasher fans. Its blend of over-the-top performances, repetitive slashings seen by an off-screen murderer (a la the original Friday the 13th), and a truly unforgettable climax instantly made this the classic it is largely regarded in the genre today. Five years later, director Michael A. Simpson and writer Fritz Gordon revived the series with two hit-or-miss sequels, thanks to original producer Jerry Silva still owning the rights to the franchise. The most memorable thing about either movie was the performances by a new woman being cast as killer Angela Baker, Pamela Springsteen. Sleepaway Camp II and Sleepaway Camp III mostly focused more on the lighthearted touches and comedic use of slasher tropes in a time when serious slashers were largely dying out. While being far more goofy and less interested in true horror, viewers’ mileage may vary on those first two sequels.

But this is a prime example of when a series should get up from the Blackjack table and cash out before losing everything.

The story behind a fourth Sleepaway Camp film is a mildly interesting one. Originally, there was a third sequel planned and went into production in 1992, likely for a 1993 video release. It carries on the story from the end of Sleepaway Camp III, as four years have passed since the last time Angela Baker had been seen. Director Jim Markovic was working from a script by Tom Clohessy, which would end up revealing our lead character “Allison” was, in fact, an amnesiac Angela being haunted by repressed memories of seemingly being a survivor of the original Camp Arawak massacre ten years earlier.

Now, things hit a bump in the road with this production. In all, Markovic filmed about 34 minutes of footage, enough to cut together a trailer for the upcoming film. Unfortunately, when the production company, Double Helix Films, went bankrupt, the film was utterly scrapped. Fast forward to 2008, Markovic was approached by a filmmaker named John Klyza about finishing the film. Between a few techniques of filmmaking trickery, including writing some new scenes that could fit the existing material shot, CGI, some new footage, plus using footage from previous films in the series, an approximation of a film was cobbled together and released as Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor, and saw release in 2012, but largely to negative reviews.

But we’re not here to talk about a shitty Sleepaway Camp IV movie. No! We’re here to talk about a shitty fourth Sleepaway Camp movie called Return to Sleepaway Camp!

Development for this fourth film began in 2000, but it took a long time to get anything off the ground because investors needed to back out after the September 11th attacks caused economic turmoil. In 2003, production finally began, 20 years after Hiltzik released his original Sleepaway Camp film. Remaining as true to the original as he could, Hiltzik mixed new characters and actors in with some returning actors like Jonathan Tiersten (the original Ricky from the first film) and Paul DeAngelo as Ronnie (the guy who verbally confirms that Angela was actually a boy in the original film).

They aren’t the only two who returned to the series. I kind of hesitate to reveal this now, but it’s very obvious when “Sheriff Jerry” shows up that something is very off with this “guy” who speaks through a voice box. That’s because he’s played by Felissa Rose, who played Angela originally, and was revealed to be incognito the entire time, as new murders start to sprout at this camp. Rose missed out on the first two sequels due to her focusing more on her studies at college than acting. However, at the turn of the 21st century, she got back into acting pretty heavily in some pretty low-budget horror films. But after this film’s release in 2008 brought the Sleepaway Camp franchise back into the zeitgeist, Rose has been acting pretty consistently since, largely appearing in horror films and mostly as a “hey, we got that girl who was famous for being Angela in Sleepaway Camp” sort of stunt casting.

Filming for Return to Sleepaway Camp began in September 2003, and post-production happened pretty much right away after filming wrapped. The film was planned to be released in theaters somewhere between 2004 and 2006, but subpar effects didn’t meet Hiltzik’s expectations. Once that got hammered out, it did get a release, but not to theaters. Instead, it got a direct-to-DVD release in November 2008. The reviews were… not good. Continuity errors, unlikable characters, really shaky acting, and uninspired kills led to fans largely being dissatisfied. It’s one thing to have these things if the movie can be fun like the original, but if it’s missing that lightning in a bottle the original had, it’s going to fall hard on its face.

So… Speaking of falling on faces, let me do just that. This movie can’t summarize itself, so I guess it’s time for me to bite that bullet.

Alright, so let’s get this out of the way right away… You can’t talk about Return to Sleepaway Camp without talking about one of the most unlikable characters to ever appear in any form of media, Alan. Alan is, to put it mildly, an absolute fucking turd. He’s a bully. He whines. He looks like he smells like sweat and shit. He’s got a hot temper. He just sucks.

I think I understand why Hiltzik created this character in this way. It kind of makes sense in some ways. His original Sleepaway Camp had characters who were verbose and often flew off the handle. In particular, that was Ricky’s role in that movie. Part of it was his hormone-filled teenage machismo. Part of it was his fierce and loyal protection of his “sister,” Angela. All the boys in the original film had some sort of massive inclination to beat the shit out of each other. So, in a way, Alan kind of is meant to seem to fit in with that group from 25 years before.

But those performances from the original were charming in a way. They were all local kids. Probably none of them were really interested in being actors. I doubt many of those kids went to any kind of acting class. They simply answered a classified ad looking for actors to be in a horror movie. Alan is purposely written to be a piece of shit. That’s a very tricky thing to do in a movie. Take, for example, Marty Mouser in Marty Supreme. Here is a character entirely loaded with flaws. He is, undoubtedly, a piece of shit. However, there is this pull with that character that you are interested in seeing how his schemes and personal opinion of himself lead him into a house of cards that will eventually catch up with him. Does it by the end of the movie? Hard to say for certain. That cracks enough to make you think it will, but it is not entirely certain.

That said, Alan is no Marty Mouser, and Michael Gibney is no Timothee Chalamet.

Also, double fuck Alan because we are introduced to him when he comes out of the bathroom to pick on some smaller kids who are lighting their farts. That basically ruins their fun. When they joke about not sleeping in the bed that Alan used to try to light his farts, he flies into a rage and uses the lighter with an aerosol can to threaten to burn the kids. He’s stopped by counselor Randy, who is definitely not a fan of Alan and wants to put him in his place.

The next day, at the mess hall, we’re introduced to another character that you can’t really talk about Return to Sleepaway Camp without talking about, “Sheriff Jerry.”

Sheriff Jerry is a diminutive local cop who is usually seen wearing those Stan Lee aviator glasses and talks using a voice box. Right away, this character seems off. Sheriff Jerry explains that he speaks through this voice box because after 35 years of smoking, he lost his larynx. And, as a quick aside, yes, that is Big Pussy from The Sopranos (Vincent Pastore). Pastore plays Frank, the guy who runs Camp Manabe. Pastore, in a bit of a cruel twist of fate, passed away just this past Saturday. While this article was written literally months ago, this is, like, the third time this year that a featured or lead actor in a movie covered on the blog passed away in between the time I did the article and when it released. I guess I’m the worst kind of luck.

After meeting Sheriff Jerry, animosity between Alan and Randy explodes once again. Alan whines that he thinks the food at the camp is shitty. Randy tells him to fucking eat it and shut the fuck up. Alan says no and throws the food on the ground like a fucking child. Randy grabs Alan and throws him to the floor to make him eat the food off that floor. I approve of Randy’s methods. Alan is a shit.

Ronnie, a returning camp counselor from the original film, breaks up Randy and Alan before fisticuffs break out. Alan claims Randy started everything by trying to punch him. Ronnie talks to Alan, and the little shit whines about how everyone keeps picking on him. Ronnie sends Alan to the kitchen to find something else to eat after giving him a pep talk about trying not to be a fucking massive dickbag.

Buuuut as soon as that pep talk ends, that massive fucking dickbag pulls a little girl’s pigtails. Another girl knocks Alan to the floor because, as she puts it, his face looks like her ass. Alan arrives in the kitchen to find the camp’s cook, Chef… er… I mean, Charlie. Charlie is played by Isaac Hayes. Yes, he is dressed exactly as he is on South Park, where he plays the kids’ Chef.

Charlie tells Alan that he’s on his way out and tells him to talk to his cook, Mickey. Mickey, appropriately, tells Alan he is a fucking asshole and that he will eat what he tells him to eat. Again, in an appropriate manner, Mickey eggs Alan until Alan throws a butcher knife at Mickey, nearly missing him.

Frank and Ronnie go check out the shenanigans in the kitchen, and Frank immediately sees that Alan is a fucking psycho who resorts to attempting to kill a guy for what Alan perceives as being picked on. Ronnie kind of blames Mickey for starting everything. Alan takes off into the woods, and Frank sends Alan’s step-brother, Michael, after him so that Alan can be brought to Ronnie’s cabin for discipline/a talking to/whatever.

Ronnie, in the original movie, was the kind of counselor who understood kids would razz each other and basically knew how to talk on their level. He was kind-hearted and saw the good in most kids. However, in the face of Alan in this sequel, this is a major character flaw of Ronnie’s. Alan is an unhinged motherfucking psychopath. He also seems to have sociopathic behavior in how he kind of manipulates Ronnie into thinking that everyone picks on him for being “different.” Ronnie kind of alludes to that not really being the case, but it’s very, very clear Alan is possessing a pocket knife away from skinning kittens for the lolz. I cannot believe that there is any world in which this kid would be able to stay at a camp when it is clear he is incredibly troubled (at best) or a monster (in truth).

We’re barely into this movie, but I think we can already see where the major flaws of the movie are cropping up. Alan is going to be positioned as a major character. Why would this incredibly unlikable, sniveling turd of a kid be the major, or possibly the main, character? That’s because we’re going to start getting to the kills, and it is going to need to appear to be Alan committing them. Part of the reason why Ricky in the original needed to kind of come off as a kid with a pretty nasty temper problem was to position him as a potential murderer when Angela was threatened. All the victims were committing some pretty heinous shit to Angela, and they were all getting killed. Ricky was protective of his “sister.” It made sense.

Here, Alan has a step-brother, but there’s been no reason established to believe that Michael would be protective of Alan. In fact, he doesn’t like it when Frank calls Alan his “brother.” He quickly corrects that fact. So, yeah, we’re setting up an unlikable character simply to be the red herring. That’s a problem. Ronnie’s inability to simply say this kid sucks and should be expelled also positions his character to either be 1) dumb, 2) an idiot, or 3) a naive ignoramus. That doesn’t bode well for him. While he wasn’t exactly none of those things in the original, his interaction with Alan thus far makes me want to punch him.

We’re tragically still in the very early stages of the movie. I needed to spell out the problems here because I certainly do not recommend anyone watch this movie. This movie is setting itself up to fail by centering on this unlikable kid. Ronnie is going to fail the audience by being unwilling to actually do something about this kid when there is obviously a problem. Everything is failing the audience, and I don’t like it.

Alan, when he’s really upset, runs off to a particular spot in the woods. This spot has a bunch of frogs, to which Alan says are his only friends. Michael kicks one of them, which upsets Alan. This is the moment that the movie should have tried to make Alan more sympathetic, but is unable to because the performance from Michael Gibney is not directed well enough to accomplish the one thing this movie desperately needed to land. Here, we can see Michael is also a shitty guy. He kicks a frog. That’s some bullshit, man. I agree with Alan that it is bullshit. Alan talks about how they didn’t care that he was sick. Apparently, some of his behavior and kind of general developmental issues were caused by a fever he had when he was a little younger. Michael sees this as an excuse, but Alan tries to explain that the doctors said this.

So, this does at least try to set up two paths that Alan could go down. He is the way he is because his brain got fried by the fever that made him developmentally challenged. This can make him sympathetic to the audience, thus making the kids picking on him when he isn’t instigating it a problem, or it could give an excuse why he can get murderous. When Michael gets a little too in Alan’s face, he pulls a knife on him, so, yeah, Alan might even be capable of killing his step-brother. The movie tries to give Alan a reason why he could be either.

The problem? We’ve seen Alan instigate the trouble that leads to him being “picked on.” So, yeah… this is a failure. If Alan was kind of played as a big oaf who is more like Lennie from Of Mice and Men, and therefore unaware that he is kind of causing some issues, it would make more sense. It certainly would give shitty kids a reason to pick on him without being motivated by Alan’s own actions against them, etc. But the movie doesn’t do this well enough on any level.

We get to our first kill – Mickey. Someone sneaks up on the cook while he’s standing over hot frying oil. He’s held over the fryer until his hands give out and he goes face-first into the hot oil. We also get some cool deep-fried Mickey head.

The unknown attacker puts Mickey into a trash bag and tosses him into the compactor, where he is smooshed.

Later that night, the kids are at a social. A couple of kids, one of them going by “Weed,” are setting up a prank where they are going to roll a joint with dried cow shit. They consider who they are going to prank this year when Alan shows up and immediately picks on the younger kids, whom he had been fucking around with the fart lighting incident earlier in the movie.

Again… Alan’s possible sympathy angle is completely ruined by having him tell the kids to shut up and snatch one of the kids’ candy bars to eat himself. They point out that Karen, the girl he likes, is here and sitting over on the opposite side of the hall. She hopes to ignore Alan so he won’t come over, but one of the “cooler” kids, T.C., waves him over. They all leave to get food, forcing Karen to be left alone with this shitbag. Worse, Alan smells bad because he didn’t change after Mickey egged him. Karen says she doesn’t know who is grosser, Alan or Mickey. Alan thinks this means they have the shared interest of hating Mickey.

Also, Mickey apparently cornered Karen one night while she was doing cleanup and nearly raped her if not for Ronnie coming into the kitchen before it got bad.

Again, goddammit, they are wavering back and forth on this Alan issue. This leads to Alan slipping up and saying that thankfully Mickey didn’t do anything to Karen because he would kill him if he hurt her. This freaks Karen out, but T.C. and others start picking on Alan. This interaction with Karen and her friends could have given weight to Alan being bullied because he is kinda slow or kinda dorky or whatever. Double that with the potheads giving him the cow shit joint, Alan is being picked on. But he also just picked on the smaller kids. Yes, yes… I know. I’m harping too much on this, and I understand that bullies will get bullied by others in a higher status or whatever, and then pass it on to those they can more easily bully. I get it, but it takes a much more subtle hand to do that. The Sleepaway Camp movies are not subtle.

It would have made much more sense to simply copy the first one. Make Alan a quiet, shy outsider. No one knows how to interact with something like that. Add on that maybe he is clumsy or dorky and always reading sci-fi or fantasy books. Make it so he expresses his anger in a very violent way out in the woods with the frogs, without hurting the frogs, but in a way that makes it seem like he could be capable of getting back at his perceived enemies.

But, again, the Sleepaway Camp movies are not subtle.

As Alan gets into a coughing fit over the cow shit joint, which, by the way, could kill a person, he ends up falling to his knees, and then his head falls forward into Weed’s crotch. T.C. and one of his pals, along with Weed and his stoner friend, Stan, dub him “Blowjob.” Later, Weed and Stan are stoned out of their minds with a couple of girls they fuck around with. When Weed passes out, the killer approaches and shoves a hose down his throat and starts siphoning gasoline from a tank into his mouth. The killer then puts tape over his mouth, shoves a joint into the tape, and lights it. He ignites and then explodes.

Ronnie gets a bad feeling about this death. Frank explains to Sheriff Jerry that every time something goes wrong at Camp Manabe, Ronnie thinks it’s Camp Arawak all over again. Sheriff Jerry gets the story about Angela Baker, and Frank tells him that she’s locked away in a mental hospital and Ricky is living in another town. Sheriff Jerry says he’ll check in with Ricky.

The next day, Alan interrupts the girls’ game of croquet. He won’t leave until she goes to his “secret hideout” with him. She relents but only if she can bring her friend Marie… who Alan also likes.

By the way, there’s a big black girl named Bella who constantly matches Alan’s energy and aggression and sends it right back to him. She’s fucking awesome. She has no problem telling Alan to go fuck himself. She has zero concern about grabbing him by the balls when she’s being a little too… Alan. She’s awesome. She threatened to shove a croquet mallet up his ass if he didn’t leave the girls alone.

Later, Alan is led into a trap/prank while a bunch of campers are out playing paintball. Both sides turn against Alan and pelt him like fucking crazy with paintballs. This is something that is sort of shot in a way that should be, again, sympathetic that sometimes the boys at the camp pull really mean, and sometimes dangerous, pranks on Alan. Paintballs are painful. Getting hit by dozens of them, at close range, would be quite bad.

Sheriff Jerry goes to visit Ricky at his worksite to ask him about Angela. Some interesting things happen here that give this movie a couple of positive points. Sheriff Jerry says that the head counselor at Camp Manabe thinks an accident that occurred gives some of the same vibes as the Camp Arawak murders that Angela committed. Ricky says that’s not possible. Angela is in the hospital, and he knows this because he visits her every couple of weeks. He then says he’s the ONLY person who visits Angela. That’s kinda sad. Aunt Martha is either dead, in another insane asylum, or has turned her back on the girl she created. That’s kinda interesting.

Not as interesting as what happens when Sheriff Jerry calls Angela a “he.” This pisses Ricky off. Consider that this movie was filmed about 20 years ago, and there is an element of actual trans identity at play here. Ricky sees Angela for what she is, and what he’s always known her as. He accepts that Angela lives as a woman. He doesn’t take kindly to her being identified as something else. I don’t know if the same concept around trans identity was even something resembling to what it is today, and I also don’t know if Hiltzik had any reflection on how the first film is dealt with in trans circles, but I find this exchange interesting. Also, Ricky is awesome in this movie.

Sheriff Jerry tells Ricky that if anything else happens at Camp Manabe, he might be back, not as a threat, but as a request for help.

Ricky is awesome, but goddammit, we gotta get back to the Alan plot. Alan, Karen, and Marie are at his secret hideout. They are grossed out by the frogs, but that takes a much worse turn. They see a bunch of dead frogs that appear to be skinned. Based on Alan telling them they are his friends, they think he killed them. They run away to likely tell everyone that Alan is going to this place and killing these frogs because he’s some sort of a psycho.

After the girls run away, it’s revealed that Michael and his friend, Vinny, were part of the whole frog-skinning scheme.

Between Michael killing his friends, Karen running away in terror, the guys calling him “Blowjob” as he chases after Karen, and then Randy directing all the cool guys to give Alan a wedgie, that ultimately leads to him falling into the lake while both the campers and the counselors laugh at Alan, we might see a scenario begin to play out that Alan is either spiraling or ramping up to a murder spree. However, this is probably the moment in which we have to know that there’s no fucking way that Alan is a mass murderer. He’s just a loser bully who ALSO has an issue with his own bullies. One of those bullies of his is his own step-brother. Yeah, the kid has a rough ass life. That doesn’t suddenly make him a likable or sympathetic character. It simply rules him out of being a murderer.

But does that place step-brother Michael on the list of potential suspects? No. Why? Because he’s barely a character. There’s no point in Michael being related to Alan. So that has to mean that there’s already another killer hiding in plain sight. Hold that thought for now.

At another social, some of the cool people, led by T.C., want to pull a massive boner on Alan just to kick him while he’s down. They need Karen to be involved, but she’s starting to maybe understand that Alan doesn’t deserve everything he’s gotten (some of which she has been kind of a part of). The plan is for Karen to lure Alan to a place where the others jump him, strip him, tie him up, and blindfold him so he will be embarrassed when others see him like that.

Aside from Ronnie, there has been another sympathetic counselor who usually breaks up fights before they escalate, or is there to help Alan get away from being made fun of or chastising the others for being cruel to Alan. This lady is one of the girls’ counselors, Petey. Because she is always there to rush to Alan’s aid, and those who have gone missing or been killed are people whom Alan does not like (which is a bit of an editing or continuity error, I’ll explain momentarily), Ronnie begins to suspect that Petey is not who she says she is. Ronnie even name-drops that Petey is “Peter,” and Peter was Angela’s original name.

Why I think this is too early in the movie is because there have only been two murders, one of which they don’t even know about. While things are about to kick into a high gear in terms of the murders, Ronnie’s paranoia is kind of too early to be this crazy. If this happened after a second or third body shows up, that would make sense. It’s just meant to remind us all that Ronnie was there at Camp Arawak and doesn’t quite work for the plot where this has been dropped in.

The campers hide outside of Ronnie’s cabin and chant “BLOWJOB!” over and over until Alan freaks out and runs off with Ronnie following. While Frank is left alone in his cabin, the killer enters his cabin, removes his beloved parakeet from its cage, and knocks him out with a hammer. The killer then sticks Frank’s head in a bird cage and puts rats into the cage to chew their way through his head and into his guts. The next to get it are Randy and another counselor who has been in on the bullying, Linda. They go to the pump house to, um, pump uglies…?

Randy goes to take a piss before they party. While he pisses, the killer ties him to a tree. The killer wraps fishing line around his winky. The killer ties the end of the fishing line to the jeep they drove to the pump house. The killer seemingly allows Linda to drive off, which rips Randy’s dick off. She ends up getting killed when she drives through barbed wire that slashes up her face.

T.C. is the next to get it by way of a spear through the floor and into his fucking face. This is probably the best setup for any kill, maybe in the entire series. T.C. and his buddy Spaz are trading off looking in the whole in the floor and looking at the spear that popped up and nearly got T.C. already. So you’re not entirely sure who is going to get it and when until it finally happens. It’s a kind of playful murder. So, yeah, if I have to find one thing about this movie to like, it’s definitely that.

Ronnie is talking about all the weird stuff that’s going on with another counselor, Jenny. They find Frank’s dead body with the rats eating his innards. They also see his bird out of her cage, repeating Alan’s favorite burn, “Your ass stinks!” So they think Alan has been around for the bird to pick that up. Ronnie believes now everything is starting back up. See, this is where that scene about him accusing Petey should be. He’s now believing Angela has somehow returned. He should be hyper-paranoid about it and accuse Petey, who was always around to help Alan when he got picked on by the people who are starting to show up dead.

But whatever, put it in an earlier spot in the movie, what do I know?

Ronnie and Jenny start rounding up everyone to put an end to this massacre. Meanwhile, Bella gets killed while she’s in her bunk eating her snacks. The killer put nails on a board below the bunk bed above her and jumped down, sending all the nails into Bella. I will also say it is goddamn obvious it’s not Alan killing these people. All these murders are far more clever than Alan could have conceived.

Ricky shows up. He claims that Sheriff Jerry called him to come and help with this investigation. However, he did not call him. Sheriff Jerry tells Ronnie they need to keep an eye on Ricky since he’s here under suspicious circumstances. Karen finds the dickless Randy and the barbed-wired-up Linda. She ends up running into the killer and faints. She wakes up with a rope around her neck hanging from a basketball hoop. The killer is going to raise the basketball hoop, hanging her. Michael arrives to save Karen while the killer runs off.

Michael knows where Alan goes when he’s upset and goes to confront him with a croquet mallet. He begins beating the shit out of Alan with the mallet. The killer approaches Michael from behind and knocks him out before he can kill Alan.

Ronnie, Jenny, and Ricky show up to find a knocked-out Alan and a skinned Michael. Sheriff Jerry arrives and says that these kids never learn. They have to be so mean, but they didn’t know “he” was there. “He’s” been waiting a long time for this opportunity. Pieces of Sheriff Jerry’s disguise fall to the ground, revealing, who else? Angela Baker has returned to dish out some more death to bullies and laugh maniacally about it.

There are pieces to something that could have worked out to make a fun little throwback to a cult classic. I think I’ve said more than enough about how the character of Alan really ruins the entire experience. It’s not really the actor’s fault. Michael Gibney was acting with what Hiltzik wrote and directed him to do. Honestly, there were ways that Alan could have been a better, or at least a more sympathetic, character. They needed to lean into his outsider elements and less on his bullying and general shitheadedness.

This movie ultimately is bad and kind of cheap-looking and feeling. The original movie was also cheap and, as I previously mentioned, used local kids and actors. Their performances are part of the campy (pun intended) good fun for that original. Here, it’s grating, and there’s no one to really like. Except for maybe Ricky. He was awesome.

Most people don’t know there is a post-credits scene to this movie. I think if people make it to the very end and the big reveal of Felissa Rose returning as Angela, they shut it off as soon as the credits roll because, well, they want to GTFO. But there is a post-credits scene that explains how Angela obtained her disguise to hide in plain sight during the movie and pose as “Sheriff Jerry.” It also gives Felissa Rose a chance to look kinda sexy and show that maybe she’s learned a thing or two about her femininity as Angela. She flags down a cop car, pretending to have car troubles on the side of the road. She ultimately drops the car on the cop’s head, takes his uniform and truck, and that’s how Sheriff Jerry was born.

Heh… Here’s a strange bit of trivia I didn’t think about until just now. This movie ends twice. Both of these times are on close-ups of Felissa Rose. Store that away for when you need that useless knowledge for a horror trivia night at your local beer establishment.

Alright, I’ve reviewed the shit out of this movie throughout the course of the movie. I’m getting the hell out of here. Look, the last few weeks have been a bit rough since Wet Hot American Summer. Two movies with varying degrees of quality and interesting ideas, and then this third movie to round out the Sleepaway Camp franchise? Jesus. I need a break. I need something just for me. I’ve got it! Let’s pull another off the memory shelf from my childhood! Next week, we’re going to camp with the Peanuts gang with Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown!