Savage Beach (1989)

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema’s Andy Sidaris Month!

You know what was part of my decision to kick 2022 off with this theme? It’s January, it’s cold. It’s gray and nighttime comes way too soon in the day. Andy Sidaris is a perfect thing to watch during these cold, dark, and lonely days. He takes us to sunny, beautiful, and sexy Hawaii in most of his films. That’s certainly what we have in line for this fourth film in his Bullets, Bombs, and Babes series – Savage Beach.

This time around, our favorite agents, Donna and Taryn, are transporting an important vaccine when they are forced to land on a remote island full of sandy beaches and tall palm trees. Nearby, there is a sunken World War II era Japanese ship that is just loaded to the balls with treasure. Our blonde bombshells are not alone on the island either. There are deadly bad guys looking for the sunken treasure too!

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Picasso Trigger (1988)

Welcome to yet another new year and a new slate of B-Movie Enema goodness. I decided I’d kick off 2022 with a whole month dedicated to our dearest friend, Andy Sidaris. To be fair, this is a little bit of a makeup for how much I’ve neglected poor Andy. Sidaris should be covered as much as possible at a website called B-Movie Enema, and, thus far, I’ve only done so twice. Once for Malibu Express waaaay back in 2016. Then, a second time for the world renown Hard Ticket to Hawaii last year.

So the fuck am I doin’ around here? Where’s the Andy? Where’s the beefcake, the cheesecake, the fun, and the explosions?

January 2022 will be Andy Sidaris Month, goddammit! We’re just going to keep ripping through his boobtacular action series picking right up with the third film in the BBB (Bullets, Bombs, and Babes) Series with Picasso Trigger. This movie sees the return of the incredibly lovely duo of Dona Spier, as the appropriately named Donna, and Hope Marie Carlton (one of my faves from this series), as Taryn. It also introduces yet another Abilene, Travis, played by Steve Bond (cool name, can’t be real).

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Ghostkeeper (1981)

So we’ve come the end of 2021. Was it better? Did you have a good time in 2021? I mean, 2020 was pretty shit. 2021 started real rough. I think we corrected course just in time to get back in the muck again. Sure there were deltas and omicrons and probably even persei 8s. But did you take care of yourselves? I mean it, my dear Enemaniacs, I hope you took care of yourselves. I hope if you had to recover from 2020, you did so. I hope if you tried to do something to better yourself in 2021 you were able.

We’re closing out the 22nd year of the 21st century with a film from the 20th.

This week’s film, Ghostkeeper, is a somewhat appreciated moody spirit movie from Canada with some traces of The Shining. Now, I know we’ve had a sketchy history with Canadian horror, but I’m promised that this is an atmospheric movie. It also at least starts on New Year’s Eve. That’s kind of awesome because there aren’t too many movies I can cover that run congruent to the day.

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Cool As Ice (1991)

Gather ’round, kiddos. On this Christmas Eve, hear this tale of horror that was unleashed onto the world one day shy of a fortnight before Halloween in the year 1991. Yes, it was said that this creature would stalk only the flyest of small town honeys. It was said you could hear him coming as the wind would whisper:

“Alright stop… Collaborate and listen… Ice is back with my brand new invention.”

It is then, when you realize something will grab a hold of you tightly. It shall flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. Will it ever stop, you wonder… Yo, I don’t know.

You are now in the grasp of Vanilla Ice, and you will be Cool As Ice.

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Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Alright, we’re through the muck of the first 300 editions of B-Movie Enema. It’s time to roll that odometer over and get going on a new batch of 300. To get this batch started, I need to cover a movie from 80s/90s B-movie maestro Fred Olen Ray. To be honest, I think there are only about five or six movies of his that I could choose from to cover… and not want to gauge my eyes out. So, I went with the classic 1988 black comedy horror, Hollywood Chainsaw Massacre.

It’s kind of hard to believe I’ve never covered a Fred Olen Ray movie before on this site. One could argue that the man made stuff that is ripe for the pickin’ by yours truly. And don’t think that this movie hasn’t come across my desk and been considered before. The same goes for his other classics like Cyclone, Alienator, Evil Toons, and Dinosaur Island. Pretty much every single one of those movies, as well as Sorceress, which he produced, has been sought out and vetted to be slotted in one of these Friday mornings, but always kept getting pushed back.

Considering I do have enough of his films, I probably can just go ahead and do a whole theme month. Maybe I’ll have to consider that down the line.

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