Geoff Arbuckle

Phantasm (1979)

Published on April 15, 2022April 22, 2022 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

This one is a long time coming…

Welcome to this week’s B-Movie Enema. I’ve long wanted to do something with the Phantasm series. You’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who doesn’t at least like a lot of the visuals and atmosphere of this first film from 1979. However, where the real analytical gold is in the Phantasm hills come in the sequels. In order to get there, I need to start from the beginning.

This series is the brainchild of filmmaker Don Coscarelli. Coscarelli made this on a small budget that was locally raised. The movie would star mostly local acting amateurs at the time – with some exceptions. Due to the low budget and limited availabilities of the cast and crew, Coscarelli spent almost a year filming on long days on weekends. The finished product would be an instant cult classic.

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Beyond Atlantis (1973)

Published on April 8, 2022April 15, 2022 by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

Welcome back to B-Movie Enema. How do you follow up a titty movie starring Daleks? No, not the Cinema Snob. I already did that last month. No, you do a family movie.

Because of course that’s what you do.

This week, I’m looking at the 1973 Filipino-American sci-fi/horror(?) flick Beyond Atlantis. Yeah… This is apparently a family-oriented sorta-horror movie. Considering it’s made in 1973 and the poster has a mostly naked woman riding a giant seashell and being carried around by bug-eyed black dudes… I have concerns. For one, I saw a trailer that has one of the bug-eyed guys (who was not a black dude, but a white dude in body paint – uh oh) slapping the barely covered blonde chick shouting that she WILL MATE. Then Sid Haig is shooting people left and right. There’s murder action happening.

This is what a family movie was in 1973.

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Abducted By the Daleks (2005)

Published on April 1, 2022April 7, 2022 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Oh boy…

You know what I often think about while watching Doctor Who? Big-tittied Eurobabes getting fucked by Daleks. What can I say? I’m a fucking weirdo. For real, this week’s B-Movie Enema article dives deep into the anal cavities of mid-00s direct to video sleaze and pornography. This skin flick goes by two names, but the one it gets most notoriety for is Abducted By the Daleks.

Naturally, England’s BBC is not too keen about something they have ownership of being used as sex toys so that other title this movie goes by is Abducted By the Daloids. Yeah. You’re not fooling anyone.

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Mean Johnny Barrows (1976)

Published on March 25, 2022April 1, 2022 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Welcome to this week’s B-Movie Enema. This week, we’re following the exploits of Mean Johnny Barrows as he tries to bring himself up out of the gutter and get back at the Man for always standing in the way of him and his prosperity.

Now, you may look at that opening salvo for this article and think, “Sweet! This is Fred Williamson in a blaxploitation classic!” I don’t blame you for thinking that. I thought that too. However, it’s not. It’s not listed as a notable blaxploitation flick. It’s more of a crime drama than an exploitation movie. Yes, it is directed by Williamson himself and he likely got that opportunity because of the 70s black cinema coming into prominence. Yet, this seems to transcend the blaxploitation moniker.

I’m sure there will be elements here. I mean he’s dishonorably discharged from the military. He’s busted for being drunk. He’s homeless. He’s not able to be with the woman he loves. He blames these things on the Man, and there’s probably fair reason to. So, yeah, the mistake thinking this is part of the blaxploitation subgenre that was running through black cinema of the time is acceptable and understandable.

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Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

Published on March 18, 2022March 24, 2022 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

In 2021, I was able to return HorrorHound Weekend in Cincinnati for the first time since it was here in Indianapolis way back in September 2019. Part of my enjoyment of attending those shows is finding tables that are selling DVDs and Blu Rays. Sure, Vinegar Syndrome, Severin, Full Moon Features, Troma, and Synapse are all there. However, it’s one table in particular that I always make sure to visit. At this table, you’ll find all sorts of old, out of print, or forgotten films from the 60s, 70s, and 80s. I spend a lot of money at this table each and every show.

That’s where this week’s B-Movie Enema feature, Hide and Go Shriek came from. Is there anything really special about this movie? Not really. It’s a late 80s slasher. There were a ton of those in that era. It doesn’t really star anyone of note. By god, the name of the director is Skip Schoolnik… That sounds like a damn cartoon character! The cover of this copy makes it uncertain if the woman is scared because the killer with the foot tattoo is about to find her or his feet stink and she’s reacting to that funk.

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Radical Jack (2001)

Published on March 11, 2022March 17, 2022 by Geoff Arbuckle1 Comment

So, yeah, back at Christmas, I took a look at the 1991 film Cool As Ice starring flash in the pan rap superstar Vanilla Ice. I hated it. I really hated it. But, because it’s me, and I hate myself more than, well, I guess more than anything, I want to look at another movie starring another flash in the pan recording artist.

That’s what B-Movie Enema is all about, kids. I torture myself with movies starring Vanilla Ice or, as it is this week, Billy Ray Cyrus. In 2001, Mr. Ray Cyrus decided he would become a motorcycle-riding gritty action star and star opposite Michelle Pfeiffer’s sister, Dedee, in James Allen Bradley’s direct-to-video magnum opus Radical Jack. Sigh…

Well, at least there is a hot chick who gets naked in this movie…

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Another Cinema Snob Movie (2019)

Published on March 4, 2022March 11, 2022 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

We’ve been here before, kiddos.

Think back to 2019. In March of that year, I ripped off five weeks of pornos from the 70s and 80s and called it Blue March. I knew the only way to follow that up was to feature a movie made by Brad Jones, the Cinema Snob. It was the only fitting tribute I could pay to someone whose content never fails to entertain me. To do that, I had to take a look at his 2012 origin film The Cinema Snob Movie.

Fast forward to nearly 3 years later, I just came off a month full of Tinto Brass movies and I have to figure out how to best follow that up. So it’s to you, Mr. Jones, to step up to the plate once more! Yes, it’s time to take a look at the 2019 sequel Another Cinema Snob Movie.

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Monamour (2006)

Published on February 25, 2022March 3, 2022 by Geoff ArbuckleLeave a comment

Welcome to the conclusion of Tinto Brass Extravaganza here at B-Movie Enema. So far, we’ve featured a comedy with some fairly mixed morals on sex and love in Cheeky!, followed by a very good drama about an Italian aristocrat falling in love with a Nazi officer in Black Angel, and then a mixed bag of shorts in the anthology Private. Now it’s up to our final entry, the 2006 drama Monamour, to tip the scales to one side or another in terms of full on quality.

I’ll admit, that while not everything in Cheeky! is something I would like to deal with as a lover of a free spirit, I absolutely cannot deny that there is lots of very pretty things to look at whenever Yuliya Mayarchuk was on screen. It made the movie watchable and kind of vaguely enjoyable for its raw sexuality. Hell, I’d say the movie dropped any pretense of sensuality to just give us a lot of Ukrainian beaver cinematography.

Private is split 50/50. Half the stories were interesting or sexy, and one was even kind of sweet at the end to put a bow on the whole anthology. But that didn’t pretend to be sensual either. It was anywhere from 12-15 minutes of the private lives of very horny couples. VERY horny couples. Black Angel was where Brass dumped all his effort into actually exploring sensuality. It had an aging woman aching for excitement even if it had to come from something wrapped in the uniform of objective evil. As an aging person myself, well, well, well past his prime in most everything except for eating McRibs and writing about B-movies, I can identify with that.

Monamour seems to be a bit of a return to that exploration and need of a return to sexual excitement and spontaneity.

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