Tag: exploitation

Piranha 3DD (2012)

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Man…  Now that I’ve survived Asylum Month, I’m not sure I can contain my excitement.  Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I could carry on with anything other than sitting around a living room littered with empty pizza boxes while I go unshaven and unbathed and gorging myself on ice cream straight from the container.

However, the darkness parted and here we are – June.  I’ve survived the darkest month of my life since I resurrected this blog a little over a year ago and I’m ready to celebrate.  So!  I bring to you the start of a summer full of anniversaries!  Starting this week until the end of August, I’ll be shifting my focus not only on movies that are celebrating some sort of anniversary ending with either a 0 or a 5, but I’m also getting back to basics.  Shitty movies that bring the simplest of pleasures – monsters, shitty stories, titties, dumbness, and a few halfway decent things mixed in.  We start with this week’s movie – Piranha DD (or Piranha 3DD if you saw it on the big screen with 3D glasses to make dem dubba d’s leap off the screen and practically motorboat themselves on your face) which celebrates the fifth anniversary since its release this upcoming week.

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Embrace of the Vampire (1995)

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We’ve come to the end of Alyssa Milano Month here at B-Movie Enema and ladies and gents, I have saved the biggest treat for last – Embrace of the Vampire.

Go back twenty some years.  You’re a guy roughly my age.  You also work at a video store.  You remember watching a little show on TV called Who’s the Boss and you very likely had a major crush on Tony’s daughter, Samantha (Milano, no duh).  She was spunky, she was cute, she was awesome.  She was your girlfriend each week when the show came on.

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Poison Ivy II: Lily (1996)

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Oh ho, yessir!  Things are really starting to heat up here in our Alyssa Milano Month tribute at B-Movie Enema with the arrival of Poison Ivy II: Lily.

We started out the month seeing her as a pixie-haired street revolutionary with wild clothes and men fixated on her ass (rightfully so) with Double Dragon.  We then saw her play a sorta-nun in Deadly Sins.  Last week we heard the Confessions of Sorority Girls.  Now, we start to dive into her more sultry roles with the queen bee of all her sultry roles to come next week.

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Confessions of Sorority Girls (1994)

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Alyssa Milano Month continues on B-Movie Enema.  For our third installment, we hop over to Showtime to listen in on some Confessions of Sorority Girls.

This movie is actually also known as Confessions of a Sorority Girl as it was originally released.  If that sounds familiar to some exploitation fans out there, it’s because it was part of a series of made for TV movies produced by Showtime that acted as loose remakes of 1950s movies of the same title.  Now, a producer on this series of remakes and a co-writer of this movie is Debra Hill.  She’s best known for producing several John Carpenter movies.  So this is coming from a certain amount of talent.

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The Velvet Vampire (1971)

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“She’s Waiting to Love You… To Death!”

That’s like something I’d come up with to describe a movie.  I’m not going to lie, I know next-to-nothing about this vampire flick.  I will totally admit to picking it because I saw a picture of Celeste Yarnall (who played the titular Velvet Vampire, as well as the episode “The Apple” on Star Trek) from the movie and immediately said, “I’m on board.”

So, based on a picture, and a title that I can only assume indicated that this was going to be a silky smooth sexy vampire flick, I decided I’d select this as the official/unofficial kickoff to my vampire theme for the month of October.  That’s right, what is more Halloweeny than a vampire movie?  Nothing.  Or at least mostly nothing.

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The Wild Women of Wongo (1958)

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If there is one thing I’m kinda into, it’s the idea of “untamed maidens” and the possibility of being captured as their mate.

This week, I want to travel back to the late 1950s to talk about a movie that is pretty notoriously bad.  It’s kinda pointed to as one of those classic, women-gone-wild types of movies that came out near the end of the 50s.  It’s almost like these movies were in direct conflict with the reality of housewives and the June Cleavers of the pop culture landscape.  It’s a precursor to the sexual revolution that would grip the 60s.

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Malibu Express (1985)

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It’s time to dive into some Andy Sidaris.  And by “dive into some Andy Sidaris”, I pretty much mean to motorboat the shit out of its tits.

What can I say about Andy Sidaris and his movies?  Well, they usually feature stacked blondes.  They are, in some sort of way, connected in a shared universe.  Malibu Express kicks off the “L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies” series that would continue for 11 more movies.  Each of these movies, except for this one, would see at least one recurring character come along to help out the crew of government lady agents.

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