Category: 2010s

The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)

Published on by Geoff Arbuckle3 Comments

After Blue March, I wasn’t exactly sure where to go for the next B-Movie Enema.  I mean where do you go after you’ve watched five consecutive pornos from the 70s and 80s?  Who or what should I feature that could possibly make you feel a little less sleazy about watching pornos for your movie review site?

Then it hit me – Brad motherfuckin’ Jones.

Yup, the Cinema Snob himself.  Shit, that guy has seen waaaaaay more porn that I have.  He might even argue that his entire career is owed greatly to the golden age of porn.  Jones has made a handful of movies over the years – either as a writer or director or both.  I could have looked at several of his credits – the hilarious Jesus, Bro! or some of his smaller budget movies like Disco or Paranoia.  Ultimately, there really is only one thing I could possibly choose, the 2012 origin film of his most popular character, The Cinema Snob Movie.

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Sheborg (aka SheBorg Massacre, 2016)

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Australia – the land of scary ass deadly spiders, nasty snakes, kangaroos that will probably kick you in the balls, koalas with chlamydia, and movies!

The land down under has given us lots of entertainment over the years like Russell Crowe, Yahoo Serious, OG Mad Max, Paul Hogan.  You know, people you probably don’t really want to hang out with (though Yahoo Serious is probably cool).  Since about the 70s or so, they have been pumping out a certain brand of movies too usually referred to as “ozploitation”.  These movies started rolling out over the 70s and 80s after the R rating was introduced.  There are some spectacular entries under the ozploitation banner too – Mad Max, Thirst, Dead End Drive-In, and Patrick to just name a few.  Thirst, is a particular favorite of mine.

The Wikipedia page discussing and listing Ozploitation films lists this week’s feature, Sheborg (aka SheBorg Massacre) as one of the newer films in the subgenre.  

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Space Babes from Outer Space (2017)

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A few weeks ago, I had a big ol’ love fest over a little movie I picked up while I was at HorrorHound Weekend in Indianapolis this past August – Amazon Hot Box.  It was a marvelous little love letter to the exploitation and women in prison movies of the 70s.  It was brought to us by Work In Progress Films and writer/director James Bickert.  It was such a lovely throwback to those bonkers movies of evil wardens, sexy prisoners, silly side plots that ultimately lead nowhere, and all the things that I love about exploitation cinema.

It’s time to do it again with another filmmaker who is associated with Work In Progress and James Bickert, Brian K. Williams.  Here we have a good old fashioned story about buxom babes from beyond our world with a title that makes me giggle every time I say it (seriously, as my friend who had to hear me giggle every time she heard me say it at HorrorHound Weekend) – Space Babes from Outer Space!

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Amazon Hot Box (2018)

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In August, I attended HorrorHound Weekend in my hometown of Indianapolis, Indiana.  As a veteran of various comic conventions and previous HorrorHound shows, it’s an experience I love.  Do I spend too much money?  Oh, for sure.  Is it a lot of walking around and looking at the same thing over and over as if I’m driving an IndyCar around the famed Indianapolis Motor Speedway?  Kind of.  But what I enjoy can be summed up fairly easily by saying I enjoy the time with friends, buying stuff, and sometimes, sometimes, finding something new that I wouldn’t normally be aware of.

That brings me to a couple movies I’ll cover between now and the end of 2018 – Amazon Hot Box and Space Babes from Outer Space.  The former being this week’s featured film.

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Kung Fu Brother (2016)

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Oh no…  I may have pushed this luck with the kung fu and martial arts movies one week too far.

This… is Kung Fu Brother.  You know you’re in troubling waters when the following things can be said about your movie:
1. There is a discrepancy in the release date: Amazon says 2016, IMDb says 2014.
2. IMDb’s cumulative score for the movie is a whopping 2.7/10
3. Ron Hall, star of Vampire Assassin, is in your movie. You can find reviews of this here and here.
4. The guy on your DVD cover looks like he just literally lept out of the N64 game Goldeneye and is kicking you with his gross bare foot.

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After School Massacre (2014)

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I’m gonna guess it doesn’t take too much to understand why I’m doing this movie, but, nonetheless, this week’s B-Movie Enema is a little 2014 “comedy” I found on Amazon Prime Video called After School Massacre.

I mean, the cover’s got the word “massacre” in the title.  There’s a bloody knife.  It’s got a shitty tagline of “Some students just don’t make the grade.”  “After school” takes me back to the cheesy, but still classic, ABC Afterschool Specials that taught me the dangers of strangers and drugs and pregnancy.  It looks like the killer committing the titular massacre is hiding under a bath towel…  Or, wait, I guess he’s under the bed.

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Girl House (2014)

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Looks who’s back in this shit saddle again!

Welcome to the 101st B-Movie Enema entry.  After spending the better part of the last, like, three months on hiatus while another project I’m a part of, Film Seizure, was launched and sailed on its own, I’m ready to come back home and begin the next hundred Enemas by returning to my bread and butter: Girls, Slashers, Dumbness, Canadian Horror, and Girl Boobs.

So, that brings us to 2014’s Girl House directed by Trevor Matthews.  And I bring that up because I first saw this movie on one of the Showtime channels called Showtime Women.  They had this bumper before the movie talking about movies made by women for women.  So I thought, “Oh, okay, a lady made this movie.  That might bode well.”  But it is directed by Mr. Matthews, written by Nick Gordon, and produced by Matthews, Gordon, and Cory Neal – a guy who is so much a guy, he has two guy first names as his full name.  It is also shot and edited by guys too.  That’s odd, but maybe the movie is about something that would be geared toward women, that would be…

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Piranha 3DD (2012)

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Man…  Now that I’ve survived Asylum Month, I’m not sure I can contain my excitement.  Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I could carry on with anything other than sitting around a living room littered with empty pizza boxes while I go unshaven and unbathed and gorging myself on ice cream straight from the container.

However, the darkness parted and here we are – June.  I’ve survived the darkest month of my life since I resurrected this blog a little over a year ago and I’m ready to celebrate.  So!  I bring to you the start of a summer full of anniversaries!  Starting this week until the end of August, I’ll be shifting my focus not only on movies that are celebrating some sort of anniversary ending with either a 0 or a 5, but I’m also getting back to basics.  Shitty movies that bring the simplest of pleasures – monsters, shitty stories, titties, dumbness, and a few halfway decent things mixed in.  We start with this week’s movie – Piranha DD (or Piranha 3DD if you saw it on the big screen with 3D glasses to make dem dubba d’s leap off the screen and practically motorboat themselves on your face) which celebrates the fifth anniversary since its release this upcoming week.

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